Let the Egg Rot
   Newsflash! Ladies and gentlemen, this just in: our wonderful leader the great Dr. Ivo Robotnik has recently disappeared! Shortly after this discovery was made, five "clones" appeared on the scene, each one claiming to be the original Dr. Robotnik. No conclusions have yet been made. Here are comments from each of the five clones: 


*Clone #1 leaps onto the scene, performing some off-the-wall martial arts moves and indulging in some cheesy fighting whoops* "I am Egguman-sama! You sink you know what strengs is? HA! I raugh! HA! HA! HA! Strengs cannot be known, strength can onry be felt! Do you wish to feel true strengs? *karate chop* Ret us battle! Only srough za memorization of button combos executed at just za right moment can we know what true strengs is! Be rike za water! Wax on, wax off! Kick, punch, it's all in the mind!" 


Clone #2: "I am Dr. Eggman. *Clone #2 falls to his knees, grabbing his head and writhing in pain* NO! I don't want to hurt anybody! *stands up* YES! I am Dr. Eggman, and I must follow the orders of the master unit, because I am nothing but a failed clone. I have a tattoo to prove it, but it's in a place I can't show you. *falls to his knees* NO! I got that tattoo three years ago at my graduation party! Didn't I?! *rises back up* DIE! *falls back down and writhes some more* I think I need a haircut..." 


Clone #3: "I am Dr. Eggman! *bounce* When I'm in control, all use of bras will be abolished! *bounce* I will hypnotize the world through subliminal bouncing! *bounce* And panty-flashing! *skirt flies up* You know you won't be able to resist me! *bounce* Once I crack the whip, you'll do anything I say! *bounce* OHOHOHOHOHOHO!" *An extraordinarily large bounce whips back in Clone #3's face and knocks her out cold* 


Clone #4: "It's-a me, Dr. Egg-a man! Really! I swear, it's-a me, Dr. Egg-a man! You will-a hand over all-a you pasta, or all-a you toilets become-a mysteriously clogged! What you do-a then, eh? How big-a you think you back-a yard is?" 


Clone #5: "Greetings, space cats! Thanks for tuning in to Dr. Eggman's Swingin' Report Show! I'm here at the GHZ, and look! There's a cute little green Morolian!"
Gibbon: "I'm not a Morolian. I'm a gibbon."
Clone #5: "You can't hypnotise the great Dr. Eggman with your wild dance moves! I can swing anything you can! Let's go!"
Gibbon: "Can we let clone #3 play, too?"
Clone #5: "C'mon, dance! I'm losing viewers!"
Gibbon: "So whatever moves I pull off, you'll match them?"
Clone #5: "Yeah, let's go!"
*Gibbon procedes to remove his shirt, then gazes back up at Clone #5, grinning broadly* Clone #5: "..."

   More information on this as it develops.