H. Mac Attack of the Vancome Lady (Fanfic) Chapter 1 Tue May 25 07:04:02 1999 **WARNING!!!!!! THIS FANFIC MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE OR REALLY ANNOY THEM!!!! IF YOU HAVE WATCHED MAD-TV BEFORE, I THINK YOU KNOW WHY I'M SAYING THIS.** One day in the B.G.U.B... AJ: Hmm, I wonder if I put this nuclear-like accessory to the Adizer... AAH!!!!!!! (Andre busts in the room) Andre: Look who I found!!!!! AJ: Andre, how many times did I tell you to KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING THIS ROOM?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Andre: You never told me anything about knocking the door. Anyway, I would like you to meet the Vancome Lady!!!! Vancome Lady: Boy, if this isn't little geeksville. AJ: Vancome Lady?? From Mad-TV??? Vancome Lady: Where have you been, Bill Gates jr? AJ: (faking laughter) Andre: Maybe she can help us get H. Mac! AJ: Andre, when I asked for help, I thought you would be smart enough and get the military, not the world's most annoying woman!!!! Andre: I had to give her $100 just to get her over here!!! AJ: Uh... never mind. V.L.(Vancome Lady): Now where's my payback?? Andre: Huh? V. L.: You know... (Whispers to Andre) Andre: Excuse me. (vomits) AJ: Uh, please get out before You'll have to pay the price. VL: What are you gonna do, Erase my hard drive?? Several Moments later... AJ(Pushing VL): Stay outta here!!!!!!! VL: Hmph!! Talk about that! You should've thrown me out the window, or better yet, a window 95. AJ: AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!! VL: You know, I can help you get rid of this H. Muck Character. AJ: You can? VL: Yeah. AJ: Well, he did try to ruin my plans for world domination and stole my girlfriend. VL: Can't help you there, but Jerry Springer can.(starts to walk off) AJ: Wait!!! You have to help me destroy him because, because, er...(thinking), because he's black!!!! VL: Well then, why didn't you say so? Give me your plans and he'll be gone faster than some teenager's virginity. AJ(thinking): Hmm... Maybe this won't be as bad as I thought... Meanwhile, in Hyperopolis, H. Mac: Whew! 2 more days until unlimited sleeping time!!! Derek: That's for sure...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. H. Mac: My parents are gone, so I have the whole place to myself!!! Derek: That's great, but what are you gonna do? H. Mac: Probably sleep. Regean: Hi, Hypey. H. Mac: Hi, Reag. (Kisses each other) SonKnuck: Boy, I can't wait until they... what are they gonna do? Riochet: I don't know. SonKnuck: Well, I'm sure something will happen. Jamal: You better make sure your sister don't have plans for a part... Some Guy that goes to High School: PARTY AT JOY'S HOUSE!!!! TONIGHT!!!! WOOHOO!!!!! H. Mac: Well, so much for sleeping... Meanwhile, at B.G.U.B... AJ: Now, do you know and understand the procedure correctly? VL: Who do you think I am, some teenager? AJ: Sure... Anyway, H. MAC, PREPARE TO D... VL: Hey!!! When I work, I don't have no time for stupid things like that. AJ(sarcasticly): Yes, ma'am. What will happen to H. Mac at his sister's party? What is Vancome Lady's Plan? What will H. Mac and Reag plan to do? Will I stop asking questions at the end of each chapter? Will I be able to finish this Fan-fic by Sunday? All this and more on the next chapter of Attack Of the Vancome Lady!!!!! H. Mac AOtVL(Attack of the Vancome Lady) Fanfic-Chp. 2 Tue May 25 22:39:50 1999 Previously on AOtVL, Andre found the Vancome Lady from MAD-TV and thought he could help AJ. He was right, and now the Vancome Lady and AJ have a plan to get H. Mac!!! Now H. Mac's good sister, Joy, has planned a party at her house!!!! Now let's get back to AJ... AJ: Boy, I can't wait to get H. Mac! Now, if one of his worse enemies is Vancome Lady, he should be so annoyed that he won't know what hit him!! Vancome L: Look geek, I don't have time for your crap. Now, what will I get if we suceed? AJ: Well, you can take over Hyperopolis! Vancome L: Yeah! What a stupid name for a city. I should rename it Vancomeopolis!!! Andre: I don't know about this AJ... AJ: Oh, come on! What could possibly happen? Samantha: w cld g pie pso! [Translated: We could get pie poisoned!!!] Vancome L: Do we really have to bring Mrs. Pie Loser? AJ: She's part of the plan!!!!! Vancome L: Yeah, and we'll be stupidified!!!!! HA!!! AJ: Grr... Vancome L: Who are you, a bear? AJ(grumbling): No you freakin' b... Vancome L: What was that?? AJ: Nothing. Later on in the night at H. Mac's House... Joy: Man, IS THIS A PARTY OR WHAT!!!!!! EVERYBODY: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! H. Mac(approaching house): Dang! I'm too late!!! (H. Mac approaches door) Gaurd(in front of door): Who are you, sir? H. Mac: Hyper Mac, Joy's little brother. Gaurd: Sorry, but no persons under 15 are allowed in here. H. Mac: But I live here!! Gaurd: I'm sorry, but I can't let you go in, sir. H. Mac: Where am I going to sleep? Gaurd: Not here, sir. H. Mac: Well, could you at least let me get my things? Gaurd: No, sir. H. Mac: Don't make me hit you, because I will!!!! Gaurd: Sir, I will have to ask you to leave or else you'll get a punishment. H. Mac: Punishment? What Punishment?? Gaurd: This Punishment. (Pulls string) (Ambulance falls from the sky and lands near H. Mac's House). H. Mac: Oh, I see.(Leaves) Meanwhile, at Vincent's House... H. Mac(knocking at the door): Vincent! Vincent(opens door and is very tired): (yawning) what is it, h. mac? H. Mac: Can I sleep at your place tonight? Vincent: Sorry, but I got no room! Girl: Vincent... H. Mac: Wait, doesn't that sound like Andrea?? Vincent: No... Girl: Oh, Vincent... H. Mac: That is Andrea!! Vincent: Uh, gotta go!(Slams door). H. Mac: Darn. Hmm... Could they be... Nah... Meanwhile, at Sonic P. Headquarters... H. Mac: Well, I guess I'll have to sleep here for the night. (Turns on light) Person: Hey! H. Mac: Huh? Person #2: Who turned on the light? H. Mac: Mike S.? Mecha Tails? What are yall doing here? mecha tails(sluggishly): couldn't sleep... noise... from house... too loud... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ H. Mac: Uh, Mike, why are you here? Mike S: It appears to be a party going on at your house tonight. I couldn't get any sleep! H. Mac: Well, looks like I'm going to be sleeping here tonight... Riochet(waking up): Argh!! Who came in? Hougan? HOUGAN!?!?!?! OH NO!!!!!!!! PREPARE TO DIE, HOUG-- H. Mac: Riochet, calm down! It's just me, H. Mac! Riochet: Oh, sorry. Shorty(waking up): samantha... taking over the world... no... no... SonKnuck: Wake up, Shorty!!! Shorty: Huh? Oh, it was all just a dream. Soneec: Hey! People are trying to sleep here! H. Mac: Soneec, you too?? Soneec: Hey, there's a time and place for Puff Daddy, but around my house at night when I'm trying to sleep isn't one of them!! H. Mac: I guess that party is getting louder, I better go check up on things... (Leaves) mecha tails: yeah... you... better... h. mac... or... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Meanwhile, at the Main Entrance of Hyperopolis... ThomasH: Derek, may I ask why we're here? Derek: I don't know. Bre: Oh, for the love of... What was that? ThomasH: I don't know, probably a dog or something. ChrisG: No! Listen... Voice: Stupid Andre and his stupid Dreamcast that has stupid Sonic Adventure in it... I HATE SONIC ADVENTURE!!!!!! Derek: I hate Sonic Adventure?? What's that?? ThomasH: That sounds familiar... Who hates Sonic Adventure? Bre: What is Sonic Adventure? ThomasH: But who hates it...(All 4 thinking) All 4: AJ FREDA!!!!! AJ: DING-DING-DING!!!! What have our losers won? Vancome L: Tchaaa, you know what?? THIS!!!!!! ThomasH, Derek, Bre, and ChrisG: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!! What happened to ThomasH, Derek, Bre, and ChrisG? What will happen to H. Mac at his house? Will he be curshed by a ambulance??? All this and more on the next chapter of AOtVL!!!!!! H. Mac AOtVL, Chapter 3 (FANFIC) Fri May 28 12:41:24 1999 Previously on AOtVL, H. Mac couldn't get into his own house because it was gaurded by someone who drops ambulances on people, and had to look for somewhere else to sleep. Now, he went to go check up on things, and something happened to ThomasH, Derek, Bre, and ChrisG... now to H. Mac... H. Mac: I hope nothing bad happened... WHAT THE...!?!?!?!?!?! (H. Mac's house looks like it's been destroyed) H. Mac(walking up to some guy): What happened here?? Some guy(drunkly): oh... joy... drunk... invited college kids... (faints) H. Mac: DOH!!!!!!! NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?!?!?! Tamera(from a distance): OH GOD NO!!!!!!!! H. Mac: Huh???? (runs to Tamera) Tamera: Oh, Mac, thank god you're here!!! H. Mac: What?? Tamera: I think that... that... that... H. Mac: That what?? Tamera: That... that... CORNELIUS HAS ESCAPED!!!!!! H. Mac: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Tamera: I don't know where he went, but we better find him quick!!!!!!! H. Mac: 2 disasters a just occured so far!!! Can it get any worse???? (distant screaming) H. Mac: Oh, great! Tamera: I think it came from Sonic P.! (H. Mac and Tamera run to Sonic P.) Shorty: Help!!!!!!!!!! SONKNUCK'S BEEN ADIZED!!!!!! H. Mac and Tamera: AGAIN?!?!?! Shorty: Yeah, and I don't think Mike's Unadizer will help her too!!!!! H. Mac: Lemme see!!! (Walks inside) SonKnuck(talking in samantha language): whty th hk hppe to meeeeee!!! [Translated: What the hell happened to me????] Riochet: Andre adized SonKnuck so that he could only speak in Samnese!!!! H. Mac: Why did he do that??? mecha tails: I think it's because he stupid. Soneec: That explains it. SonKnuck: oo t ad! [Translated: Goddamn it Andre!!!!!] H. Mac: Oh great! My house's destroyed, Cornelius has escaped... Riochet: Cornelius escaped? Tamera: Yeah... Riochet: I already knew about that!!!! H. Mac: Why didn't you tell me?? Riochet: I was gonna tell you, but I forgot about it. H. Mac: RIOCHET!!!!!! Riochet: Sorry!!!! H. Mac: It's okay... now to find him! voice: Tchaaa, you know what?? Uh-uh... Tamera: That voice... H. Mac: Very irritating voice... All: VANCOME LADY!?!?!?!?!?! VL: Yeah, who did you think, you father?? Riochet: But you're not real!!! You're a very annoying character from MAD-TV!!!!!!!!! VL: Well, I'm guess I am, Alex Kidd!!(laughs) Riochet: Uhh... never mind... H. Mac: What do you want???? VL: Do you want to see the following people ever again, Jessica, ThomasH, Derek, Autumn, LindseyL, Courtney, Bre, Analissa, SaraH, SaraE, Sal, and ChrisG, give me 90 Samlars and they'll be yours!!! H. Mac: Hmm, in american dollars thats... [gasp] 900 BILLION DOLLARS!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Shorty: We don't have that much money!!!! VL: Well, I guess your friends will be, VANCOMIZED!!!!!! Tamera: I don't like the sound of that... H. Mac: We ain't gonna give no one money!!!! VL: Well, I guess it's true what they say about black folks, they ain't got no money!!!! SecMan: Hey! You take that back!!! VL: Well, hi-ho to you, trans! Long Pause of silence H. Mac: What the... VL: I'll see ya losers, later!!! (laughs irriatably) Shorty: How are we gonna get all those people back???? H. Mac: Hmm... Maybe it's time to use my new accessory... CRASH!!!! Tamera: Crash Bandicoot?? H. Mac: Noo... I'll explain it on the way to the university... Meanwhile, in the Samantha Land Torture Center... Jessica:(whimpering) ThomasH: Will you shut up?!?!?!!? LindseyL: ThomasH!!! You would be doing to if you were scared!! ThomasH: If I was a prep... Analissa: You guys!!!! This isn't the right place to start an argument!!!! Sal: Yeah!! We need to work together!!! SaraH: I agree with Sal... Voice: Prepare to be touched!!!!!!!! Jessica: Who was that???? Voice: The most powerful child molestor on the planet... CORNELIUS!!!!!!! GI GI GI GA!!!!!! Analissa: CORNELIUS!?!?!?!?! ThomasH: I thought you got killed after that explosion!!!! Cornelius: Well, now I'm back, and more powerful and angrier than ever!!!! Derek(sarcasm): I'm so scared!!! Cornelius: SHUT UP!!!!! AFTER YOU GO THROUGH MY SELF-ESTEEM REMOVER, YOU WON'T HAVE NO PRIDE OR CONFIDENCE AT ALL!!!! Sal: Sure, whatever. Cornelius: YOU SHALL FELL MY WRATH!!!!!(Editor's Note: That is supposed to be fell. You see, Cornelius is a professional pervert, though has a IQ of -350) (Cornelius shoots Sal with the Self Esteem Obliterater, but we'll call it SEOb for short). Sal(weakly): I... have... no... use... in... life... Cornelius: Who wants to be next? All but Cornelius whimpering Cornelius: That's what I think! You shall fell my pain after "The Punichment"!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! What is Cornelius' plan, The Punichment? What is H. Mac's Accessory Crash??? Is Cornelius more stupid than Samantha???? What will the Vancome Lady do next?? All this and more on the next chapter of AOtVL!!!!!! H. Mac AOtVL, Chapter 4 (Fanfic) Fri May 28 16:28:46 1999 Previously on AOtVL, Vancome had kidnapped Mac's friends and had left them with Cornelius and his "The Punichment" Plan, and SonKnuck's been adized so that he could only talk in the Samnese language! Now, let's get back to H. Mac and his accessory Crash... At the Hyperopolis University of Samantha... H. Mac: Where is he?? Voice: Doh!!! Stupid Spring!!! H. Mac: There he is!! Hey, Dr. Riclet! Dr. Riclet: Huh? Oh, hi Hyper Mac, what's new? H. Mac: I need that Crash thing you were talking about. Dr. Riclet: Huh? (Thinks for a minute) Oh, that... all I need is to make a few adjustments and it'll be finished! H. Mac: Hurry! I need to go somewhere!! Dr. Riclet: Hold on... (for the next 10 minutes, Dr. Riclet types some programmer stuff into a iMac[because some reason Samantha Land took all the Pentiums III from the US and they said they wanted them to suffer] and occaisonly Dr. Riclet was cursing at the computer [because it was a iMac made from Sammle, a computer company in the old Samantha Land) iMac chimes Dr. Riclet: Here you go!! (Gives H. Mac a backpack) H. Mac: Uh, this is it? A backpack?? Dr. Riclet: No! Look inside!! H. Mac(looks inside): Hey! Is this some cloaking device or something? Dr. Riclet: It is a cloaking device to get through force fields, plus you can turn into a tornado! H. Mac: Like Crash Bandicoot? Dr. Riclet: Yeah! Only you can glide and throw fire sheilds!! H. Mac: Fire shields, as in Sonic 3 Fire shields?? Dr. Riclet: Uh, I think. Well anyway, you better run off, I got some important things to do! H. Mac: Uh, Doctor, are you sure it's a good idea to keep nitro on the edge of the table like that? Dr. Riclet: Sure! I'm sure it won't fall!! H. Mac: Ok, see ya!! H. Mac leaves the HUS. (distant explosion). H. Mac: Hmm... did I here something... nah... Back at Sonic P... Riochet: ...and he said something about getting the Vancome Lady to help him molest all the childern in the world, but nothing life threateing. Soneec: Oh, well then... MOLEST ALL THE CHILDERN OF THE WORLD!!!!! Mike S.: Oh no!!!! What are we gonna do?? Shorty: Where is H. Mac? H. Mac(walking in): I'm here!! SecMan: After 1 hour of listening to Riochet, I ready to get out of here!! Riochet: Hey!! H. Mac: Let's go!!! (H. Mac, Riochet, Shorty, SonKnuck, Soneec, SecMan, mecha tails, and Edge start heading of to the van) Tamera: What about me?!?!? H. Mac: Uh, you stay here, Tamera. Make sure Andre or AJ don't invade the town. Tamera: Aww... why can't I come?? mecha tails: There are a lot of things in Samantha Land that could possibly make you stupidified!! Tamera: What about Edge? He's new, too! H. Mac: She's right... Soneec: Hey! Hou about you, Edge, stay here and help Tamera! Edge: (sighs) alright... What do these 2 people, AJ and Andre, look like? H. Mac: You'll know 'em when you see them. Edge: But... Mike S.: Don't worry, Tamera knows how to get rid of them. Edge: Okay... whatever you say. Riochet: Now, LET'S GO AND KICK SOME VANCOME BUTT!!!!! Shorty: Was the really necassary, Riochet? Riochet: Not really. Everyone in the van speeds off to Samantha Land. Tamera: Bye!!!!! Edge: So... is H. Mac your boyfriend??? Meanwhile, in the Samantha Land Torture Center... (Cornelius Singing "My Heart Will Go On" off-key) ThomasH: STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!!! SaraH: PLEASE STOP!!!! Jessica: We Suffered enough!!!! SarahE: PLEASE!!!! ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING!!!!!!!!!! Cornelius: ANNNNNNNNNNND MYYYYYYYYYYYY HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (9 hours later) -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART WILL GOOOOO-OOO OOOOOONNN-- (Entrance Door Explodes) Cornelius: HUH!!! Derek: What was that?? Voice: Cornelius, Prepare to face us!!!! Cornelius: Who, wa? Who dare chalend me, Evil Courncil! Riochet: ME! (Jumps on Cornelius) All hostages: Riochet?? Cornelius: Get off me!!(throws Riochet on the ground) Riochet: Oof!! H. Mac: Leave him alone!! Cornelius: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! IT'S MAC!!!!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!!!!! Derek: It is!! Cornelius: Shut up! H. Mac: Cornelius, why did you kidnap my friends and brought them here? Cornelius: Because Vancome said that I could go out with her if I did!! Shorty: And are you going out with her? Cornelius: She said that... she... was... going out... with... AJ!!!!(cries) WHY!!!!!!!! SecMan: Aww, poor little--HEY!! H. Mac strokes* SecMan SecMan: Hey!! What was that for? H. Mac: We can release all of my friends while he's crying!!! Mike S.: Yeah!! (presses button) (all hostages are released from the cage) Jessica: Oh, thank you, Mike! (Kisses him) Mike: (blushes) VL: Tchaaa, you know what? Uh-uh!! Soneec: Oh no!!! Shorty: You again?? VL: Man, who are you? H. Mac: Well, since we got all of my friends, we can just---AAH!!! Soneec: Huh?? AHHHH!!! Riochet:What the... AHHHHH! Everyone except Cornelius and Vancome Lady Screams VL and Cornelius: HAVE A NICE LIFE!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! To be Contiued.... *a stroke is a way of slapping someone on the back of their heads. H. Mac AOtVL, Chp. 5 [FANFIC] Wed Jun 2 11:20:43 1999 Previously on AOtVL, H. Mac has gotten a new accessory called Crash and gathered the gang to go to Samanthopolis(aka Samantha Land), and while they were there, they got H. Mac's friends but Cornelius and VL had other plans for them instead... H. Mac: AAAA-oof!(hits ground) SonKnuck: PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP-- w!!! [Translated: AAAAAAAAAAA--Ow!!!] Everyone hits the ground. Mike: Where are we?? Riochet: I don't know...(turns on flashlight to see a sign on the wall) mecha tails: Hmm...(reading sign)...Welcome to Mell... SarahE: D-d-did you just say welcome to hell? ThomasH: No, he said Mell! Analissa: What's that? Riochet: Hmm... in my experience in Samanthopolis, I never heard of a place like it... H. Mac: Well, we gotta get out of here before...(loud, thumping sounds) Jessica: What was that?? Riochet: Why are you asking me?? Jessica: I wasn't asking you. I was asking Mike.(Stares at him) Mike: Don't look at me!!! I don't know what it is either!!! (dark, shadowy figure appears) Jessica: (Shreiks, then grabs hold of Mike) Mike: Uh... Dark figure: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa( 5 hours later)aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!! Riochet: HOUGAN!!!!!!????? Derek: You again?? Hougan: Prepare to be adized! H. Mac: NOT!!!!! (turns into tornado) Hougan: What the... AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! (gets picked up by the tornado) H. Mac: Weeeeee!! (throws Hougan into a wall) Hougan: OOOOOUCH!!!!! H. Mac(turns back to normal): Woo! What a ride!! Courtney: Hey!! We can escape through that wall! Soneec: Yeah!! (Everybody escapes through the wall) LindseyL: Wait a minute... How did you turn into a tornado??? Analissa: Yeah... H. Mac: Well... Meanwhile, at the B.G.U.B... Cornelius: We did it!!! We got rid of all of them!!!! VL: Now I can finally name that Hyperopolis to Vancomeopolis!!! AJ: And I can finally take over the... (door explodes) Andre: What was that?? Riochet: DIE!!!!!!! (jumps on Andre) Andre: AAH!! GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!!! VL: Huh? How did Alex Ki... Soneec: Not so fast, Vancome!!! VL: Well, well, well, if it isn't little hedgehog the girl... Soneec: What??? VL: How it's going? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you got Mushroom Poisoned!!!! HA!!!! Soneec:(stares at VL)Okay, that's it.(Knocks VL uncoisous with a bat) VL: system... destroyed... self... destruct... in... 10... minutes... countdown...begins...now... (timer ticking) H. Mac: Wait... that's not the real Vancome!!!! Shorty: It must be some kind of Decoy! Stephanie: You think, bas! Director: CUT!!!! All: Huh?? Director: Why is Stephanie playing the Vancome Lady's part? ThomasH: That's Stephanie?? Stephanie: Yeah... Manager: Sorry, we thought you played the part of the Vancome Lady. Stephanie: Oh. Manager: You sure do look like her... Stephanie: No I don't!!!! (leaves the studio angrily) Stephanie: (In her Porche) I do not look like her in anyway! (Speeds off) Director: Will somebody please get the REAL Vancome lady?? Manager: Right away, sir!! (gets the Vancome Lady) Director: There! Take 200, and ACTION!!!! Shorty: It must be some kind of decoy! VL: You think, bas! (Andre hold up a fish in the air) Director: Cut!!!! H. Mac: What happened now!!? Director: Andre, why are you holding a fish in the air? Andre: She said Bass, right? (laughs) Director: Very funny, do that again and get a 99% pay check cut. Andre: Oh. (throws fish off of the set) Director: Okay. Take 201, and ACTION!!!! VL: You think, bas! mecha tails: 2 VANCOME LADIES!!!!! HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD!!!!!!???? VL: No, but I betcha you family did! (laughs) mecha tails: I don't get it. SonKnuck: M ether. Nw lts t ut f he bfo blow! [Translated: Let's get out of here before we explode to bits!!] VL: Not so fast!!(presses button) Riochet: What happened?? AJ: She just activated a forcefield around the base, so no one can get out!!! HAHAHA!!!! Soneec: You can't get out, too!! AJ: Think again... (disappears) Vancome L.: Have a nice life (disappears) Andre: Weeeeeeeeeee...(Disappears) Corn: Gi gi gi...(disappears) H. Mac: Oh, no!!! We're doomed!!!!! Mike: I guess it looks like the end of... HEY!!!! Jessica: If we're gonna die, We're gonna die together! SecMan: Who invited her in here? Jessica: I followed you here, Mikey. Mike: Don't call me that. What will happen to our heroes? Where did AJ and the rest of the villians go? What is Jessica's problem? Does she like Mike? All this on more next time on AOtVL!!!!! H. Mac AotVL, Chap. 6 [Fanfic] Thu Jun 3 16:10:39 1999 Previously on AOtVL, the gang had to face Hougan (again), but was easily defeated. Then they went into the B.G.U.B. where they faced a Vancome Decoy, and now will be destroyed in the Base within 10 mintues... or will they... H. Mac: AAH!!! Only 3 minutes left!!! SonKnuck: Wr dmed. [Translated: We're doomed.] Miles: There has to be a way out of here... Riochet: Hey! Maybe if we can cut the power supply of the force fields, maybe we can get outside!! SecMan: One problem, Riochet... Riochet: What's that? Soneec: THE POWER SUPPLY SWITCH IS OUTSIDE!!!!! Riochet: Oh. H. Mac: Hmm... (runs out of room) Jessica: Where's he going? (stares at Mike) Mike: I DON'T KNOW!!!!!! QUIT STARING AT ME!!!!! Jessica: (continues to stare at Mike) Mike: ARGH!!!!!!! H. Mac(at the front door of the B.G.U.B.): Where is that switch?? (Looks around). H. Mac: There it is!!!(goes over to switch, which is outside the force field) H. Mac: Hmm... I wonder if that cloaking device still works(walks up to force field) (H. Mac goes through the force field) H. Mac: Hey it works!!! Now to turn off the switch!!(pulls switch) Decoy(inside the base) 5...4...3...2...(stops) All: Huh? H. Mac: Hey!! We can get out of here now!!!!! Riochet: We can? But what about the force fields? H. Mac: Don't worry about them! It's all taken care of. (everyone escapes out of the base) SecMan: But how did... H. Mac: Remember the Crash thing I was talking about? It also was a cloaking device so I could go through force fields! Riochet: Oh, wow. Soneec: Now we can get AJ!!!! (everyone hops into the van). Mike: Yeah, but we don't know where they are! Riochet: Just leave that to the Samdar AX-8714™!!(Riochet presses a button) It'll find AJ faster than...(van stops). Soneec: Where are we? H. Mac: I think it's the Samanthopolis City Center... and looks like somebody is having a party... Mike: Let's check it out! Jessica: Yeah, Mikey!! Mike: Grr... (everyone hops out of the van and walks into the Samanthopolis City Center) H. Mac: Everyone be quiet! We don't want anybody to find out that we're-- Voice: INTRUDERS!!!!!!!! SecMan: Doh!!! Riochet: Who was that?? Voice: Me!!!! Merrie!!!! mecha tails: YOU!!!!???? merrie: I'm online!!! Riochet: Go away!!! merrie: Not until I know who's online in this chat room. H. Mac: This is not a chat room!!!! merrie: What is it?? a board?? SonKnuck: Wht??? thts t, gt h!!! [Translated: What??? That's it, get her!!!] mecha tails: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! merrie: No you die!!!!!!!! mecha tails: Why you...(shoots merrie with Ice Bazooka) merrie(muffled): so cold... help... mecha tails: see ya later... (everyone runs into the Samanthopolis City Center hall room) VL: All the men in the world would want to leave their wives and girlfriends to visit my city, Vancomeo--(turns into ice cube) AJ: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??? Andre: She turned into an ice cube! Samantha: o n!!!! hiper mack a then must b he!!! [Translated: Oh, No!!!!! Hyper Mac and them must be here!!] Cornelius: They Can't be here!!!! They were in the explosion!!! H. Mac: Think again, Gayass!!! Cornelius: Huh? (turns around) MAC!!!!!!! H. Mac: That's my name, don't wear it out. Corn: But you're dead!!! Mike: No, he's not!! AJ: B-b-b-but how d-d-did he--(faints) Samantha: grt!! j fnt! [Translated: Great!! AJ fainted!] Samantha: vnc rmy, gt em! [Translated: Vancome Army, Get them!!!] Riochet: Vancome what?? Vancome Seargant: Tchaa, you know what? CHARGE!!!!!!!!! All BUT Samantha, Andre, and the Vancome Army: Uh, oh... What will The Joker do to Sonic? What happened to Tails? Did Thomas have sex with Beionca? All this and more-- Director: CUT!!! H. Mac: Huh? Director: When does Sonic and the Joker come up here? Tails isn't in this fanfic? AND WHO THE HELL IS THOMAS AND BEIONCA AND WE DON'T CARE IF THEY HAD SEX!!! Thomas: What!!! Beionca: MAC!!!!! H. Mac: Oops. I guess I wasn't paying any attention at all. Director: Okay, and Take 560, and ACTION!! What is the Vancome Army? What will they do to our heroes? How will they escape this one? And why is Jessica still with Mike?? Seesh!! I never seen her like that before!! Uh, anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter of AOtVL!! H. Mac AotVL,Final Chapter [FANFIC] Sat Jun 5 20:38:20 1999 Previously on AotVL, Our heroes had escaped a deadly explosion thanks to H. Mac and his Crash accessory. Then they headed down to the Samanthopolis City Center where they had to face merrie. Now that she and the Vancome Lady were frozen, now they must face the Vancome Army... Seargant: CHARGE!!!!!!! SecMan: Oh, great! Just what we needed!!! Soneec: How are we gonna get out of this one? mecha tails: Hmm... (shoots Ice Bazooka at one of the soliders) Vancome Solider: Tchaa... you know what? Uh--(freeezes) H. Mac: That's great, mecha tails, but how are gonna freeze everyone if THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE?!?!?!?!? mecha tails: DOH!!!!! H. Mac: Wait!!!! I know!!!! (turns into a really big tornado) Vancome Soliders: WHAT THE...??? (Vancome Army is picked up by the tornado) Vancome Army: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Vancome Army is thrown out of the City Center and into a medecine waste junk yard) Vancome Army: OOOOOWWWWWW---(dies) All except Samantha, Andre, and Cornelius: YOOHOO!!!!!!!! Jessica: You did it!!!! Mike: But I...(Jessica kisses Mike) Mike: (blushes, then runs away) Jessica: Where are you going? (Starts to chase after him) Cornelius: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! Andre: Now what are we gonna do? Samantha: i no, adize saknak two fill plwer! [Translated: I know, adize SonKnuck to full Power!!!] SonKnuck: knoooooww!!!! [Translated: Nooooooooooo!!!] Samantha: LALALALALALA!!!!!! [Translated: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!] (Samantha shoots SonKnuck with the Adizer) SonKnuck(in normal voice): Huh? SecMan: Hey, it turned SonKnuck back to normal! SonKnuck: Hey, you're right! I'm back to normal!! Cornelius: What?!?!?! Let me see that!! (looks at the adizer) This isn't a Adizer!!!!! It's an Unadizer!!!! H. Mac: hehehe... Cornelius: YOU!!!!!!! (starts to run to H. Mac, but gets tired on the way[he was only 3 feet away from him for god's sake]) Riochet: Let's get out of here!! (the heroes start to head out to the van.) Cornelius: AAAARRRGGGHH!!!!! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME-- Andre: Hey!! I'm suppose to say that!! Samantha: Know!!! I!!! [Translated: No!!!! Me!!!!!] AJ(waking up): I'm suppose to say it, you morons!! (punches everyone of them) Corn, Andre, and Samantha: OWW!!! Meanwhile, back at Hyperopolis... H. Mac: Ah, now to go to sleep in my house. (The van stops at H. Mac's house) Riochet: Hey, wasn't your house nearly destroyed the last time we were here? H. Mac(thinking): Oh yeah... what about it? SonKnuck: Looks like it's been restored or something. H. Mac: Lemme see!!! (looks outside window for his house) Hey, it's not wrecked anymore!! (the gang jumps out of the van to look at H. Mac's new house) H. Mac: But how... Voice: Don't worry about it. H. Mac: Derek? Derek: We fixed up your house so you'll be able to sleep somewhere and your parents won't get mad. H. Mac: Oh. ThomasH: But we haven't seen you sister anywhere!! SaraH: Do you know where she could've went? H. Mac: No, unless... Nah. Well, I'm going into the house and I'm-- (falls to sleep) Guy: That's our Mac! (laughs) (complete silenece except the guy laughing) Derek: What's so funny about that? Guy: (stops laughing) Nothing. AaronE: Anybody seen Jessica? Riochet: Last time I saw her she was... Uh oh... (On some desert road)... Jessica: Come back, Mike!!! Mike(panting): God, won't she ever give up!? (back at Hyperopolis), AaronE: Oh well, who cares? SonKnuck: Anyway, I inviting everyone to go to Party Land with me tonight!! All: really? SonKnuck: Yeah!! Tamera: What about Mac? SonKnuck: We'll take us with him, as soon as he wakes up. Lynol(punches H. Mac): Wake up, fool!! H. Mac(slugglishly): huh? Oh, uh... SonKnuck: Want to come to Party Land? H. Mac: Sure, whatever. All: (cheering) THE END!!!!!!!! SonKnuck: Hey!! H. Mac: Huh? Riochet: You didn't tell us what happened to your sister!!! H. Mac: I didn't? Derek: Yeah... H. Mac: But it's almost till closing time!! SonKnuck: Huh? (looks at watch) God, it's almost 10:00 pm!!!!! H. Mac: I gotta go! Maybe I'll tell what happens to her in my next fanfic, The Adventures of the H-Team. Soneec: Oh, well see--WHAT!?!?!?!?!?! H. Mac: See ya later. (leaves) SonKnuck: Did he say what I thought he said? Riochet: Yeah, but we better leave now and wait until then. Derek: What??? Riochet: Never mind, it's nothing important. (everyone leaves) Janitor:(sweeping the floor and whistling to... something) Deep, strange, and scary voice: Leave me out of the fanfic, eh???? Well, get ready prepare to face me in your next fanfic, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!!! HAHAHAHA-- Janitor: If you're looking for H. Mac, he already left. Deep, strange, and scary voice: DOH!!!! Who is this mysterious character? Why did H. Mac leave his sister out? Is this some sort of revenge? Find out on my next fanfic, THE ADVENTURES OF THE H-TEAM!!!!