H. Mac The Sotato Family (fanfic) Chapter 1 Wed Jun 16 00:06:27 1999 ==================================== =Chapter 1: Makin' Love at the BGUB= ==================================== (The setting: In the BGUB in Samanthopolis where Zac has discovered something very shocking in Samantha's room) Zac: OH MY GOD!!!!!(faints) Andre(entering Samantha's room): What happ... WHAT THE... (faints) ==Meanwhile, in the control center of the BGUB== AJ: Since the evil spirit plan didn't work, I guess I'll just have to build a time warping device... (squeaking noises are coming from upstairs) AJ: Huh? Oh, like I was saying, I'll build a time warping device to... (squeaking noises) AJ(getting annoyed): Anyway, I'll build a... (Samantha screaming something) AJ: Grr... I'm not gonna even bother, anyway... (Samantha Screams loud all of a sudden) AJ: OKAY, THAT'S IT!!!! I'M GETTING VERY ANGRY, SO STOP IT!!!!!!!! (Samantha stops screaming) AJ: There that's-- (Samantha Screams) AJ: Don't make me come up there! (screaming stops) AJ: There! That's much better! Like I-- (Samantha screams) AJ: Okay, that's it! I'm coming up there!!!! (AJ walks up the stairs to Samantha's room) AJ(slamming Samantha's door open): SAMANTHA, I--(stops to see that Samantha and Potato Man are in bed, together, and that Zac and Andre are on the floor) AJ: Freaks. That's what you all are. Freaks. (Slams door shut) Samantha(panting): W s thepo sp[ abou? [Translated: What was that about?] Potato Man: i dunt no... [Translated: I don't know...] ==The next day at Hyperopolis== H. Mac: So Soneec, who are you gonna ask to the dance? Soneec: Who do you think? (H. Mac shrugs) Soneec: Jon, DUH!!!! H. Mac: Oh yeah... I forgot about the 2 of you. SonKnuck: What about you? H. Mac: Oh, I asked my girlfriend and she said yes. All: Aww... Shorty: Well, I'm gonna to ask Krist! Krist: And I will! Shorty: Y-y-you will? Krist: Yup! Shorty: (faints) Krist: Does anybody know why he faints all the time? H. Mac: Don't ask me! I'm not his pyhsican, you know. Krist: Hmm... I wonder if mecha tails would go to the dance with... mecha tails: OH NO!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO THE DANCE WITH HER!!! NO WAY, NO WAY IN BLOODIN' HELL WILL I GO OUT WITH HER!!! Krist: Do you even know who I'm talking about? mecha tails: No. Azura: Oh man! The dance is a week away and I have no one to go with! mecha tails: So do I! Riochet: Well... never mind. mecha tails and Azura: What? Riochet: I said never mind!! Anyway, I'm gonna go out with my girlfriend! All except Riochet: You have a Girlfriend?! Riochet: Yup. And here she comes!!! (a helicopter comes down) Someone: Hi everyone!!!!!! Riochet: SaraG!!!!! SaraG: Riochet!!!! Long time, no see!!! (SaraG hops out of the Helicopter and hugs Riochet) All: Aww... H. Mac: A Kodiak moment. Soneec: Yeah, sure. (SA music starts blasting out of nowhere) All: Huh? Sz(driving up in the van): Hey guys!! I added super mega bass to the van so we can listen to SA music!!!! YEAH!!!! Krist: Man, is he a SA fanitic? H. Mac: Probably so. DreamCloud*: Hi hypey! H. Mac: Hi Dreamer!(hugs each other) Soneec: Hey, where did you get the ring from? DreamCloud: Hypey gave it to me. Krist: Way to go, Hypey!! I betcha the next thing you'll be doing is f- H. Mac: So Krist, you're gonna go out with Shorty with the dance... Krist: Yeah! I already told you that! H. Mac: Oh yeah... Sz: Hey! For the dance, can we play SA music and turn it up to maximum volume? H. Mac: I don't know... oh what the hell?? We'll only have the biggest stars in the music industry there anyway. Sz: Everyone? H. Mac: Not everyone. Just the big stars. Sz: *gulp* uh oh... H. Mac: Oh no, I don't like the sound of that... ==Meanwhile at the BGUB== Cornelius(entering the BGUB): ARGH!!! THAT MAC IS GONNA PAY BIG TIME!!!!!!! AJ: What happened to you?! Cornelius: Huh? (realizes that he still had bandages on and some thorns still stuck in him) Oh nothing, really. Just fell into a Cactus pit. AJ: Boy, that's gotta hurt!!!! Zac(waking up): horrible, so horrible... Andre(waking up): OH THE HUMANITY!!!! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! SO HORRIBLE!!!! AJ: What? Did you have a dream about Samantha having sex? (laughs) Andre: Actually... I did... AJ: See! What did I tell you!! Zac: WE SAW SAMANTHA HAVING SEX WITH POTATO MAN!!!!!! AAAH!!!!! IT WAS A VERY GRUESOME SIGHT!!!! Cornelius: Wait a minute... (thinks for a second) GOD!!!! (faints) AJ: Oh god! Like Samantha would really have sex with... Hougan(busting in like nobody's buisness): SAMANTHA IS PREGNANT!!!!! All except Hougan: SAMANTHA IS PREGNANT!?!?!? Potato man: y. [Translated: Yes] (Samantha walks in and everyone sees that she has a gigantic stomach) All: wow.... AJ: Hey, wait a minute... You can't get pregant that fast!!! Voice: True, but she is a Samantarian, and pregancy rates are way faster if you're a Samantarian... All except voice: Who was that? Voice: Me, the Mighty Macnelius!!! Cornelius: Macnelius!?!?!? I thought you got vaporized!!!! Macnelius: Oh please, brother! That was all part of a trick and when the plane exploded, I left in my Jet-Glider** just in time before I got killed!!! Cornelius: Well one thing's for sure, I'm not making any deals with you anymore!! Macnelius(muttering): baby... Cornelius: What was that? Macnelius: Nothing. Samantha: Aywy, th d sig odh tho b wo T!!!!! [Translated: Anyway, The doctor said the baby should arrive in a few days!!!] AJ: A few days!?!?!? but... but... Macnelius: You have a lot to learn about Samanthopolis... Hey this gives me an idea for a plan!!! Andre: A plan?? NOW?? But Samantha's pregnant and the baby... Macnelius: That's just who I need!!! MOUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Samantha: poyo opias kl;s cha???? [Translated: He's gonna make our baby go to the Army when it's born??????] Macnelius: D'oh!!!! That's not what I mean! Zac: Then what do you mean? Macnelius: I'll tell you all when the baby's born... ==Back at Hyperopolis== H. Mac: Hmm... I've been thinking... Riochet: What? H. Mac: I wonder if we could get mecha tails and Azura to go to the dance together? Shorty: Yeah, in a million years!! H. Mac: No I'm serious!!! Maybe we could hook them up... Soneec: Yeah but how?? H. Mac: That's the hard part... Sz(playing up Sonic Adventure music to max. volume): I'm gonna blast-- Censor: STOP!!!!! H. Mac: God, what is it now? Censor: Sz is gonna go "blast", a very offensive word!! Sz: What? I'll show you!! (turn up the bass on the Stereo that's playing SA music) Censor: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!(flies out of the studio) H. Mac: Seesh!!!! How many times are we gonna have to deal with him?? Sz: Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm gonna blast the dance with this!!!!! H. Mac(nervously): Yeah, I hope... Sz: Huh? H. Mac: Nothing. H. Mac(thinking to himself): I hope they get here in time... Who is H. Mac talking about? Why is he worried about Sz playing SA music at the dance? What will TSPG do about mecha tails and Azura? What is Macnelius' plan and what does it have to do with Samantha's baby (or babies)? All this and more, on the next chapter of the Sotato Family!!!!!! * Dream Cloud and Reagan are the same people **A jet-glider is like a handglider only with jets. H. Mac The Sotato Family [Fanfic] Chap. 2 Fri Jun 18 19:30:18 1999 Previously on tSF, Potato Man had sex with Samantha and made her pregnant. Now she is gonna have a baby (or babies) in a few days! Not only that, Macnelius has return and came up with a plan that has something to do with Samantha's baby or babies!! Now we return to SonKnuck as he's desperatly trying to find someone to date... =============================================================== =Chapter 2: Sonic Adventure Music is in whether you like it or notDouble Trouble in BGUB= =============================================================== (The scene: SP HQ where SonKnuck is looking in the articles for a date to the dance) SonKnuck(looking at the personals): Hmm... hey, here's a good one!! (picks up the phone and dails a number) (he waits for three rings, then the answering machine picks up) SonKnuck: Ooh.... The Answering Machine: Hello. This is Melissa Quionex. She's not in right now, but you can leave a message, unless you're Mac the Pack or his friends!!! YOU DARE LEAVE ME WITH THOSE FREAK TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM LOSERS!?!?!? WHY YOU!!!! I'M GONNA GET MY OWN GROUP AND SAVE THE WORLD!!!!! MOUHAHAHA-- (SonKnuck hangs up) SonKnuck: Okay... hey... what about her? (SonKnuck picks up the phone and dails a number) Someone on the phone: Hello? SonKnuck: Hi! I... Someone on the phone: Hey, is that you, Emma? Oh I haven't spoken to you in so long? SonKnuck: Huh? Someone on the phone: We haven't spoken since the 3rd grade!!! SonKnuck: What? Someone on the phone: Oh! Let me tell you what happened!! You see, Justin turns out to be gay and he was trying to pick on the other boys because he wasn't gay!! Then this transexual comes to school and all hell breaks loose!!!! She... (8 1/2 hours later) Someone on the phone: ...Then he went on to be president without telling her about the evil pods escaping from the Turbo Labs of America!!!!! Boy that was fun!!!! Then let me tell you what happened in 4th grade... (SonKnuck slams the phone down) SonKnuck: Oh it hopeless!!!! I'm never gonna find anyone!! H. Mac: Hey SonKnuck. How's the search going? SonKnuck: Well, I just talked to someone who really need a life badly... 8 and a half hours talking about flying tv's that shot lasers. H. Mac: I won't ask. Sz: Hey!! I asked the whole city about what kind of music they liked. And the majority of them said SA music!!! So that means we're gonna play SA music at the dance!!!! H. Mac: Really? Sz: Yup!! H. Mac: Wow. I never expected that to happen... Shorty(running in insanely): AAAAAHHH!!!!!! All except Shorty: What happened, Shorty?? Shorty: ANDRE IS IN A HANDGLIDER BOMBING US RIGHT NOW!!!!!! H. Mac: He is? Shorty: Hurry!!!!! To the van!!!!!! (SonKnuck, H. Mac, Shorty, and Sz hop into the van) Shorty: I'll drive!!!!! (Shorty drives, but he drives like crazy, almost hitting every fire hydrant, sign, and building) Shorty: DIE ANDRE, DIE!!!!!!! MOUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (the van transforms into Jet mode and they go up to the handglider) Shorty: PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Shorty ejects out of the jet and onto the handglider, finding that there was nobody flying it) Shorty: What?!?!? No Andre!? H. Mac: Uhh Shorty... Shorty: WHAT???? H. Mac: How are you staying in the air if nobody is gliding in the glider? Shorty: Huh? (looks to see that he is on the wings of the glider and that nobody was gliding it) Oh. AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! (Shorty starts falling with the handglider) SonKnuck: Don't worry, Shorty!!! We'll get you!! (SonKnuck pilots the jet) Shorty: AAAAAAAHH-- Huh? (Shorty notices a button on the handglider) Shorty: I wonder what this button does... (Shorty pushes the button then all of a sudden the handglider pulls out 2 jet engines) Shorty: Uh oh... (Shorty uncontrollably tries to control the handglider.) H. Mac: Hey, that handglider has jets!!!! Shorty: AAAAAAAHH!!!!! HEEEELLLPP..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sz: There he goes again. Shorty(waking up): Huh? Oh yeah... HHEEEEEEEEELLLLPPP!!!!!! SonKnuck: Uhh... try veering it!! Shorty: What? SonKnuck: Veer it. Shorty What are you saying? SonKnuck: You know, veer, as in steering a airplane. Shorty: Ohh... (attempts to veer the handglider) Shorty: Whoa... I don't feel so good... (vomits) H. Mac: Uh oh... I just hope that doesn't end up getting on the van. SonKnuck: Huh? Why? H. Mac: I just had it washed!!!!! Shorty: Hey, I think I maybe getting the hang of this. (Shorty goes off somewhere with the handglider) SonKnuck: Hey!!! Where are you going? (SonKnuck follows Shorty to the ground) Shorty(on the ground): Whooo!!!!! H. Mac: Shorty, are you okay? Shorty: Yeah. Now I can go get Krist and tell her what I found!!! Sz: You mean what I found. Shorty: No, I found it first!!! H. Mac: er Sz, He's right. He's the one that thought Andre was in it bombing Hyperopolis. Sz: Oh yeah!!! (thinking) Man, Shorty's stupid! (H. Mac notices something on the handglider) H. Mac: Hmm... what's this? (H. Mac finds a tag on the wing of the handglider) H. Mac(reading off the tag): Jet-Glider™ Model #609-SAMOP. Warning, this device may produce nuclear blah, blah, blah. Made in Samanthopolis... SonKnuck: Oh no, not again!!!!! H. Mac: Huh? SonKnuck: Don't tell me we're gonna go back there AGAIN????? H. Mac: What?? NOO!!!! I was saying that this Jet-Glider... Sz: Jet-Glider? H. Mac: That's what is says on the tag thing here. Anyway, The Jet-Glider was made in Samanthopolis!! I got a bad feeling... (SonKnuck goes away for a minute, then comes back with military gear on) H. Mac: SonKnuck, what was that for? SonKnuck: Whenever you say you got a bad feeling, something always happens!!!! So this time, I'm ready!!!! H. Mac: Well I'm sure nothing won't happen. I got a feeling that this thing will be trouble... SonKnuck: Great!!!! Now you got it started!!!!!! H. Mac: Jesus, SonKnuck! Nothing bad won't happen!!!! SonKnuck(sarcasticly): Oh sure, nothing BAD might happen, but maybe something CHAOTIC will happen!!!!!! (SonKnuck gets hit by a creme pie) Sz: Well, there's your chaotic event. SonKnuck: Oh shut up!!!! ==Meanwhile, at the BGUB== Macnelius: Cornelius!!! AJ!!!! Andre!!!! Zac!!! Get ready!!!!! Corn, AJ, Andre, Zac: Ready for what? Macnelius: For the arrival of the baby!!! Andre: Seesh, when did you get interested in Samantha's baby. Macnelius: You'll soon find out!!!! MOUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! What is Macnelius' evil plan? W... Krist: err... H. Mac? H. Mac: What? Krist: The Story isn't over yet!!!! H. Mac: Oh yeah!!!!!!!!!! ==Back to the BGUB== Macnelius: You'll soon find out!!!! MOUHAHAHAHAHAHA--OOF!!!! (Macnelius gets hit by a door) Hougan: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH MMMMMMMMYYYYYY GGGGGGOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!! SSSSHHHHHEEEEEEEE'SSSSSSS HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG TTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!! AJ: What? Cornelius: I think he said Samantha'a having twins. AJ: Oh!!! I knew that!!! Cornelius: THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US SHE WAS HAVING TWINS, HUH?! IS IT BECAUSE I'M BLACK? Andre: Hey!!! He never told me either!!! Why you... (Andre and Cornelius start to beat up AJ) Zac: Now's my chance!!!! (Zac escapes through the main entrance of the BGUB) Cornelius: HEY!!! Where's Zac goin'? HUH AJ??? HUH??? AJ: Look Corn, I don't know where Zac went!!!! He probably went to the bathroom!!!! Cornelius: Alright I beleive you THIS time, but next time it'll be different!!!! MOUHA-- Macnelius: OOOHHHH, SHUT UP!!!!!! (punches Cornelius) Cornelius: Ow!!! (faints) Samantha: ho salooi ami ms xit!!!! [Translated: Oh I'm so excited!!!!] Hougan: I hope they're booooooyyyyysss!!!!!!! Andre: I hope their girls!!!!! Potato Man: thy so b op9ui0!!!! y!!!! [Translated: They'll be both Girl and Boy!! Yaah!!!!] Macnelius: Perfect.... hahaha... HaHaHa... HAHAHA... MOUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Cornleius: Enough with the evil, cackling laugh!!! What's your plan!!!! Macnelius(straining): I'll tell you when the babies are born, ok?? Cornelius: OKAY!!!!! Macnelius: Now if you excuse me, I'll need to work on my latest invention, THE AGDAZER 901X!!!!!! Andre: Oh!!!! Now I know what you're gonna do!!! You're gonna teach them about argiculture until they die!!!!! (moments later, Andre is flying out a window) Andre: AAAH!!!!!!! (hits the ground) Macnelius: Ask me stupid questions like that again and I'll throw you to Pluto!!!!!! Cornelius: Hey AJ, Aren't you the one that's suppose to be doing that? AJ: Hey yeah... HE STOLE MY LINE!!!!!! THE MOTHA FUCKER STOLE MY LINE!!!!! Censor: Censor here!!! I"m sorry, but the fanfic will stop here!!!! We cannot have that rude language here!!! Macnelius: Oh yeah!!! (grabs the Censor and throws him to the moon) Censor(on the moon): I hate this job. Macnelius: Where was I? Oh yeah... MOUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Cornelius: He was laughing? AJ: I guess so... ==Meanwhile, somewhere out there, there's a mystery, a mystery that's wating to be solved.... er like I was saying, Meanwhile, Somewhere along a road...== Zac(panting): I... Gotta... Get... To... Zacastro Labs... For... The... Experiment... ==Meanwhile back at Hyperopolis== Dream Cloud: Why do I have the feeling Shorty hates me? H. Mac: Shorty doesn't hate you. Dream Cloud: He doesn't? H. Mac: No he's just... just... just weird. Dream Cloud I guess you're right. ==Later on at SP HQ== Rlan: Hmm... mecha tails: What are you doing, Rlan? Rlan: (gasp) I think I may have a crush on... mecha tails: A crush on who? Rlan: A crush on... (faints) mecha tails: Doh!!!!! Mike: Boy, it sure does feel to be back home... Jessica(walks in): MIKE!!!!! Mike: oh no.... no, no NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!! Jessica: Yes yes yes yes yes!!!! Mike(banging his head on a wall): Why, why, why why WHY!!!?? Soneec: What what what what what is going on here? Sailknux It it it it it appears that Jessica has found her true love. Xythar: Her her her her her true love is Mike? SonKnuck: I I I I I guess so. Yarharhar: Enough with the joke joke joke joke joke jokes. mecha tails: Ok ok ok ok ok!! Yarharhar: I SAID SHUT UP!!!! Riochet: Alright already seesh!!! Sara's trying to sleep!!! mecha tails: Oh sorry. I didn't know. Yarharhar: Me too. Rlan(waking up): Wait a minute, what is Sara doing sleeping here? Riochet: We just took a walk in Menior Park, where we saw the sunset for the first time, then we fed ducks, with her ever so soft hand, then we held both our small hands into the lake where we held eachother in our arms and I felt her so delicate body... Krist: Okay Riochet, I think we get the... Riochet: Then I stared into her big, bright eyes, then... Krist: I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!!!! Riochet: Alright, Alright!!!! Don't get all edgy on me!!! Krist: That reminds me... (holds Shorty's hand) Shorty: Ohh.... (faints) Krist: That's my Shorty!!! Hey, has anyone seen Hypey and Dream C.? All except Krist: Noo... (distant screaming) All: Huh? Mike: Hey, doesn't that sound like Mac and Dream Cloud?? Krist: Lemme see!!! (looks outside a window) Krist: Yup, I see them, and they're HEADING IN A STRAIGHT CRASH COURSE TO THE SP HQ!!!!!!! All: AAAAAAHHHH!!!!! What will happen to H. Mac, Dream Cloud, and the rest? Where is Zac going? What is Macnelius' invention, the AGDAZER 901X? And will the Censor appear in the next chapter?? Censor: Yes!!! Person: Who asked you?? (throws a tv at him) Censor: (faints) All this and more on the Next Chapter of The Sotato Family!!!!