episode 202 of SFT1B Turn down your lights...(if you want to.) In the not-too-distant future, In a castle near Iran, Pearl Forister and her two sidekicks Were hatchin' up a nasty plan. They bougt some pizza from a guy named Jim, A guy who obeyed their every whim. They figured that his soul was just too free, So they stuffed him in a capsule and they launched him out to sea! (Jim: When do I get paid!?!) "We'll send him cheesy stories, The worst we can find.(lalala) He'll have to sit and read them all, And we'll monitor his mind!"(lalala) Now keep in mind Jim can't controll Which story she'll send him next.(lalala) He'll try and think of a way out With the help of his robot friends! ROBOT ROLL CALL CAMBOT("Hit it!") GYPSY("Oh, my!") TOM SERVO("Buck up, newmeat!") CROOOOOOOOOOW!("You know you want me, baby!") If you're wondering how they work and play, And other science facts,(lalala) Go get a degree in physics, Or really just relax! for Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000! 1...2...3...4...5...6... [SOL int.] Crow and Servo are behind the counter. SERVO: Hello, everyone. And welcome to the Submarine of Love. We're Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot, sending you greetings. CROW: Huzah and hello, good morning to you all out there on the internet! SERVO: Today we are celebrating a very special ocasion! CROW: Yes! Today is my 520th birthday! [Servo and Crow cheer. Gypsy rushes in with a cake with 520 lit candles, leaves it, and rushes out.] SERVO: Here's your cake, Crow! CROW: Why thank you! [Blows out all 520 candles] [They cheer again. Gypsy rushes in with a wraped present the size of a shoe box, leaves it, then rushes back out] SERVO: And here's your present from me and Gypsy! CROW: Oh, wow! I hope it's something real special! [Tears away at the paper franticaly] Oh, look! It's a Johnny Longtorso action figure! Thanks, Servo! [They cheer again.] MAGIC VOICE: Happy birthday, Crow! 20 seconds to commercial sign. [Gypsy rushes in with a board.] GYPSY: Here's your board, Crow! SERVO: It's time to break the pinata! CROW: Oh, goody! [The 'Bots look upward and see Jim, tangled in rope, being lowered into their midst. Servo and Gypsy play noise makers and party horns.] JIM[bound and gaged]: MMMMMMMPPPPHHHHHHH!!!!! [Crow ducks under the counter and emerges blindfolded] SERVO: Go at 'em Crow! JIM: MMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! [Crow takes a swing and hits Jim. The 'Bots start cheering.] JIM: RRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GYPSY: Ataboy, Crow! MAGIC VOICE: Commercial sign now. -commercial sign- SERVO: We'll be right back. [Crow takes more swings at Jim, who is screaming all the way] GYPSY: Ooh! Right in the pouch! [commercials] [SOL int.] Jim is still gaged and he's duct taped to the right wall, facing it. Crow is still blindfoled, and he has a nail with a long piece of brown cloth atached to it. Gypsy and Servo are still cheering. SERVO: Okay, Crow! Pin the tail on the donkey! JIM: MMMMMMMPPPHHHHHHHH!!!!!! [Crow puts the tail square on Jim's butt.] JIM: RRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Servo, Gypsy and Crow laugh gleefully.] -mads sign- GYPSY: Oh, Mrs. Lady is calling! SERVO: What do you want, Madame Forrestier?[pronounced "Forestiay"] [CASTLE FORRESER] Pearl and Bobo are gathered around the fireplace, wraped in blankets. Observer is behind them, sitting calmly. PEARL: Hey, Nelson! What ar- OBSERVER: Um, ma'am, it's not Mike anymore. PEARL: Right. Hey, Whaley! [Bobo snickers at the name] PEARL: What the hell are you doing, letting those robots push you around? You must be some sort of wuss! OBSERVER: Well, he is, ma'am. We got him from a pizza parlor. PEARL: When I want input from the peanut galery, I'll ask for it! [SOL] JIM: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [CF] BOBO: Hee, hee! He's all tied up! He can't do anything! Ha, ha! PEARL: Anyway, Jimmy boy, the castle had some sort of power outage, so all the electricity went off. That means no heat, and at these high altitudes, brrrrrr! [SOL] GYPSY: But can't you get Brain Guy to restore the power? [CF] PEARL: I tried. He misfired and accidentaly launched all the armed nuclear warheads in Russia. They all landed in Hollywood and took out the entire west coast. BOBO: Well, that's *one* problem solved. PEARL: So I don't want him to try again. Now, about your experiment this week. It's a piece of internet crap called "The Ultimate Celebrity Deathmatch". It's a crossover of unepic proportions. Have a nice day. Brain Guy! OBSERVER: Yes, madam. [that sound] [SOL] CROW: Gasp! I just realized! I'm old! Before I know it I'll be in the Nursing Home of Love! SERVO: Crow, you can't get old, you're a robot. -movie sign- 'BOTS: Oh, no! CROSSOVER SIGN!!!!!!!!! JIM: MMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6...5...4...3...2...1... [The 'Bots enter the theater] SERVO: Hee, hee. We sure got him good. CROW: Hey, Servo! Is that a grey hair on my head? SERVO: Crow, you don't grow hair. >Subject: Fanfic: Celebrity Deathmatch (I know it's a dead topic, but one last one, pleeaassee...) BOTH: No. >From: Warp CROW: I'd like to warp outta here. >Date: Tue, Aug 4, 1998 10:42 EDT >Message-id: <35C71DEC.449A@edmonds.ctc.edu> > CROW: And, look! A loose screw! SERVO[mumbling]: Oh, you have one alright. >I just wanted to make a quick little post on all this "Celebrity >Deathmatch" stuff so that I can pitch in my two cents. Hope you read it >and tell me what you think! BOTH: And we're not afraid to, either! > >-+Warp+- [Jim enters trying to get the string he's tied up in off.] CROW: Jim, does this joint look rusty to you? [holds out his hand] JIM: No, Crow, it doesn't. I just polished you yesterday, remember? CROW: -gasp- No, I don't! I'm loosing my memory! JIM: Crow, you've got a no-fail hard drive. CROW: It could crash! A heart attack! SERVO: Oh, please. > > > SERVO: Oh, I guess it's over. > -=The Ultimate Celebrity Deathmatch!=- > SERVO: D'oh! > By -+Warp+- > JIM: This isn't "Warped Factors" is it? >Legal Disclaimer: > >"Sonic the Hedgehog," "Transformers," and "Mighty Morphin' Power >Rangers," and all related elements are the registered trademarks of >their respective owners. You can read this, print this, post it, blow >your nose and/or use it for toilet paper if you run out of it in the >bathroom (I hate when that happens). Praise, commments, flames, and >voodoo curses can be directed to: mailto:charlie_nash@hotmail.com. > CROW: Jim, record that e-mail JIM[scribling on a notepad]: Already on it. >Note: this is more of a comedy I typed in about 20 minutes, so I >apologize for any "lack of continuity" that this FanFic may incur (this >is a comedy/satire, do you think I honestly care? NO!). SERVO: This guy must have some issues. > Also, for >characters you may not know, I put in quick descriptions of them. > CROW: Just what we need, yet *another* origin of Sonic the Hedgehog! SERVO: He used to be a regular hedgehog until he broke the sound barrier and turned blue, his homeworld was enslaved by Robotnik, Earth was hit by a commet and became Mobius... > >One day, Unicron (a big planet-eating Transformer) SERVO: (exposition) > was traveling >through space, and got hungry. So he decided to float over to the planet >Cybertron, the home of the Transformers. They are fighting (what else is >new?) JIM: Hi. >, and they notice a big planet heading for them. > JIM and CROW: Horay! They're gonna get killed! SERVO: But I wouldn't get my hopes up. JIM and CROW: Aww... >Ironhide ALL: -snicker- > (the red van): Leakin' lubricant! What's that?! CROW: You are? Well, then, go to Carl's bus and truck stop! He'll cut your break line for free with every tuneup! > >Cliffjumper SERVO: Who came up with this stuff? > (red VW bug; Casey Kasem does his voice): It's headed right CROW: A brief pause... > CROW: ...and now back to our program. >for us! > >Bumblebee (yellow VW bug): What are we going to do? > JIM: Could you get killed for us, please? >Megatron (needs no introduction): What else do we do? BLAST IT! SERVO: What a wonderful idea, oh great and inteligent fearless leader! > >The Transformers fire all their guns at Unicron, but to no avail. >Suddenly, a big light shines from Unicron's center, in what appears to >be a tractor beam, sucking all of Cybertron towards him. > CROW: The Crap Files. >Soundwave (blue tape recorder with the bird): JIM: What the...? SERVO: So he turns into a tape recorder? WHAT THE HECK KIND OF TRANSFORMER IS THAT?!?! > Our weapons are useless >against him! ALL: You think? > >Rumble (purple tape with piledrivers; you may remember him as the voice >of Bigtime Beagle from "Duck Tales"): CROW: And *why* do we need to know all this? They're going to die anyway. > Wha...What do we do? > SERVO[as Megatron]: What else do we do? BLAST IT! >Starscream (red, white, and blue jet plane, voice done by the guy who >does the voice for G.I. Joe's "Cobra Commander"): I know! > CROW[as Starscream]: We can BLAST IT! JIM: Okay, knock that off. >Starscream shoots Megatron in the head, knocking Megatron down. > >Starscream: Now I am the new leader of the Decepticons! JIM: I don't think this is the time for that. > >BLAM! Megatron shoots Starscream in the back. > >Starscream: This always happens to me...Damned bad timing...(dies again) > SERVO: Weren't they being attacked by Unicorn? >All the Transformers: AHHHHH!!!! > CROW: They're at a relaxation camp? >Ultra Magnus (big car carrier rig; Robert Stack [the "Unsolved >Mysteries" guy] does his voice.): The Matrix will help us! > JIM: I'm having a tough time remembering the exact problem they're facing. CROW: Just flow with it, Jim. >Ultra Magnus tries to open the Matrix, but can't. > >Ultra Magnus: Open, dammit, OPEN! > SERVO[as U.M.]: Stupid Plot-Contrivance-In-A-Box! Open! CROW: Damn you, Numbco! >All the Transformers (again): AHHHHH!!!! > JIM: What great aroma therapy! >gobble gobble gobble > SERVO: Huh? JIM: Aparently the Matrix is a big turkey farm. >Unicron ate Cybertron. > CROW: Oh, that's right! They were in a tractor beam! SERVO: But how could they fight Starscream? JIM: Allow me to construct a flow chart. >Unicron: Yummy. Eh, just an appetizer. I'm still hungry. > >Unicron goes somewhere else. > > CROW: GASP! Oh, no! JIM: Crow, don't tell me you're feeling sympathy for them. CROW[looking at chest]: I've got dust contamination! JIM: Crow, that's rediculous! You can't get old! SERVO: Let's beat it, Jim! JIM: Good idea. [They leave the theater] 1...2...3...4...5...6... [SOL int.] Jim, Servo and Gypsy are behind the counter. We can hear Crow off to the side, panicing. CROW[off-screen]: Aaag! My eyes are baggy! GYPSY: This is even worse than last year! JIM: Doesn't he realize he can't get old? SERVO: Anyway, fellas, I wrote a little skit that we could perform in addition to today's fanfic. JIM: Okay, where is it? SERVO: It's under the counter there. Could you grab it for me? JIM: Sure. [Jim takes several papers from under the counter and places them in front of him, Gypsy and Servo] JIM: Oh, look. "The Untimely Celooserbrity Deathwish". This should be interesting. SERVO: Okay, I'll play Davey Crockett a.k.a. David Kintobor, you play Ken Penders, and Gypsy will play Marrissa. JIM: Okay. Who's Marrissa? SERVO: Just read you lines. JIM: Alright. SERVO: [clears throat] Marrissa, you've had it! *I'm* the best self-inserted author here, and nobody chalenges me and lives! GYPSY[overly nice]: Umm... no, I am the best author-created character of all time! You can't stand up to my might! SERVO[whispering]: Put more effort into your ferocity! GYPSY: Oh, okay. JIM: You two are no match for me, writer and god of all Sonic the Hedgehog stories! I will destroy you, and then go on to plague Sonic's world! Hahahaha! SERVO: You can't! I'm going to do it first! [attacks Jim in a fever of punches] JIM: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! [puches Servo several times] GYPSY: Let's see you two take command of the Kids' Crew! Or pilot the Stargazer! [Joins the frenzy by biting off Servo's head] JIM: [punches Gypsy] GYPSY: [flashlight falls off] SERVO: [punches Gypsy] JIM: This will teach you to mess with my way! [punches Servo] GYPSY: You may have blinded me, but I will prevail! [bites off Servo's right arm] SERVO: Aaaaarrrggggghhhhh!!!! [falls down] JIM: [pushes Gypsy down] CROW: [rushes in from left and bites Jim's side] JIM: Acckkkkk! [falls down] -commercial sign- CROW: Ha, ha! I am victorious! Say, what were you guys doing anyway? Aaaag! A wrinkle! [falls down] [planet logo underwater] [commercials] [Jim and the 'Bots re-enter the theater] CROW: My net's sagging! JIM: Crow, please! > >Sonic and all the Freedom Fighters are fighting against Robotnik one > SERVO: pause. >night in Robotropolis, when they all suddenly notice the sky getting > >darker than usual. > > > JIM: The hell? SERVO: Warp just loves the ENTER key. >Antoine: Sacre bleu cheese! What is zat?! > > > CROW[as Antoine]: A long pause! We're doomed! >Sonic: Another one of ol' Buttnik's tricks? > > > SERVO: Arrrgh! JIM: Stop pausing! >Robotnik (from his ship): Swatbots, destory that...thing! CROW[as Swatbot]: Are you sure, sir? Maybe we should get Friar Tuckman to do it. JIM[as Mel Brooks]: Nip the tip! > > > >Swatbots blast thing in the sky, but to no avail. SERVO: Scentence beyond repair of proofreader. > Then a big light > >shines upon them, and they dissappear. CROW[in the tune of "The X Files" theme]: Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, craaaap. > > > >All: Ah! JIM: Did all the characters switch to Herbal Essences shampoo? > > > >"Tails": What will we do? ALL: BLAST IT! > > > >Sonic: I know! I'll use a Power Ring to take it out! CROW[as Tails]: Should you realy date that thing, Sonic? What would Sally think? > It's nothin' but > SERVO[as Sonic]: A short pause! >another Death Egg, that's all. JIM: It's much bigger than the Death Egg, it has the power to pull several people towards it... yup! It's just as vulnerable as the Death Egg! > > > >Sonic uses Power Ring on big thing in the sky, but to no avail. CROW: Shouldn't the author know what it's called since he introduced its name before? JIM: Some people forget things. CROW: But he can just use the scroll bar! > > > >All: Ah! > SERVO: Didn't we just do this? > > >Sonic: Man, that was the sharpest my quills have ever been, but it > CROW[as Sonic]: hit the ENTER key unnecesaraly! >didn't even get touched! > JIM: Well, then, no wonder nothing happened to it! > > >Unicron: Hee hee, that tickles! > ALL: EEEEW! > > > >All (once again): AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! > SERVO: Jim, I'm just going to go back through the doors and shout the nastiest words I know as loud as I possibly can, then come back, okay? JIM: 'K, bye. SERVO: Be right back. [leaves] > > >gobble gobble gobble CROW: Jim, if a rooster laid an egg on a roof, which way- JIM: I've heard that one. CROW: Oh, then, why did the chicken cross- JIM: Stop. > > > >Unicron ate Mobius. CROW: I'm liking this character, Unicorn. JIM[as Ken Penders]: Nooo! *I* was going to destroy it! No fair!! Waaaahhhhh! > > > >Unicron: Damn, I'm still hungry. *Thinks* Oh, I know what will hit the > JIM[as Unicorn]: pause. >spot! > SERVO[very faintly]: *&$#*( (%#$%& @@!$%@$ $%!!!!!!!!!!!!! JIM: Holly mother! CROW: I never even knew those words existed! > > >Unicron goes somewhere else. CROW[as Warp]: You don't need to know where, it's not like you're reading this or anything. [Jim leaves with Crow] [commercials] [SOL int.] Jim is standing behind the counter with Servo. JIM: Okay, you got it all out of your system now? SERVO: I think so, Jim. JIM: Good. -Mads' sign- JIM: Oh, the power protesters are calling. [Jim pushes the Mads' Signal Thingy(tm, patent pending)] [Castle Forrester] Pearl is in a sleeping bag with several comforters draped over it. Bobo is asleep under several dozzen bed sheets. PEARL: Hey, Wallet, you think you got it bad watching movies? Look at us! We haven't had power in four hours and it's really cold this time of year! [Bobo begins snoring. Observer enters.] OBSERVER: Uh, madam, I checked all the fuses in the fuse box. They're all fine and all the switches are in the "on" position. PEARL: Then there must be a power line down. OBSERVER: There hasn't been any storm around here in weeks. PEARL: Well, then... check around town and see if anyone else doensn't have power. OBSERVER: Uh, they don't use power anyway, Pearl. PEARL: Then if they're so primitive why the hell can't we take them over?!? OBSERVER: I have no clue. PEARL[starting to sob]: Is it because we're...we're -choke- Incompitent? OBSERVER[also holding back tears]: Well, maybe, Pearl... -sob- [Both break down in tears] PEARL: We're soooo pathetic! OBSERVER: Boo hoo hoooo! [Bobo wakes up.] BOBO: Say, Lawgiver, why do you get all the blankets and I get only these thin bed sheets? PEARL[snapping out of it]: Because I'm the Lawgiver and I'll tear your short little spine out if you disobey me! BOBO: Hmmm. Fair enough. [falls back to sleep] [Pearl and Observer resume crying.] [SOL] JIM: Oh, you two are just stupid. There *are* ways of overcomming this. CROW: A castle with a fuse box? -movie sign- JIM: Agggh! Story sign!!!!!! 6...5...4...3...2...1... [Jim and Crow enter the theater. Servo is already sitting.] SERVO: Crow, what's a (%#$%&? CROW: I don't really know. > > > >Six typical teenagers are playing softball in a park on a sunny day. > JIM: Oh, please be the... SERVO: Yes! I think it is! > > >All: he he ha ha (having fun laughter, mind you) > > > >Suddenly... > JIM: Very non-descriptive. > > >*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beeeep Beep* > JIM: I recognize that tone! CROW: You can read it? > > >Then the teenagers drop everything and suddenly retreat to a dark corner > >of the park, SERVO: Impossible statement. > elliciting weird stares from strangers. > CROW: Because of their two-dimensional characterization. > > >Jason: Come in, Zordon. JIM: Yes, it's the Power Rangers! SERVO and CROW: Unicorn will eat them! Yaaaaay! > > > > CROW: Well? >Alpha 5: Ayi yi yi yi yi! Rangers, a big planet's heading this way! JIM: This is Deep Impact all over again! > > > >Kimberly: Is it Lord Zedd again? > SERVO[as Kimberly, stupid]: Do you think that it is a totaly new bad guy instead of the one we have been stuck with for the last two years? > > >Zordon: No, it is something we've never seen before. Use the MegaZord to > >stop it before it destroys the Earth! > > CROW: Or they can BLAST IT! > >Jason: IT'S MORPHIN' TIME! > JIM[as Jason]: Okay, Marco, become a camel! Tobias, fly ahead and scope out the-oh, wait, sorry. Wrong show. > > >*Then everyone except Jason shoot themselves up.* > SERVO: Did I just read that right? > > >Jason: I said morphin, NOT MORPHINE! > CROW: That's actualy a good joke, Jim. JIM: Lucky break. > > >Tommy: We're typical teenagers, what did you expect? > > > >Others: Ahhhh.... > CROW: Is this panicking, or are they high? SERVO: I think panic is "Ahh!" while high is "Ahh...." > > >Then they morph into Power Rangers and head off to the giant planet in > >the Voltron rip-off (aka MegaZord). The DragonZord follows, too. > JIM: This guy had issues with Saban, I think. CROW: I'd rather be watching Voltron right now, though. > > >Jason: ALL RIGHT YOU GUYS, LET'S GO GET 'EM! > SERVO: BLAST IT! > > >All (flash wrists in synch): RIGHT! > JIM: Jazercize! One, two, one, two... flash those wrists! > > >Jason: POWER SWORD! > > > >Sword appears out of thin air and pops snugly into the MegaZord's CROW: Is this a se- > >peg-holed hand. CROW: Oh, never mind. JIM: Crow? CROW: It's nothing. Forget it. > Then the two robots hack and slash at the gigantic > >planet, but to no avail. SERVO: Just eat 'em! > > > >Billy: It's not working! > > JIM: We all know what's going to happen, so just EAT THEM! > >Kimberly: What do we do? > > SERVO: BLAST IT! > >Jason: CALL THE ULTRAZORD! > > CROW[as phone operator]: We're sorry, but your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. > >Zack: Must you talk in all caps? > JIM: But then how can I tell you to BLAST IT? > > >Tommy: Yeah, all that shouting in our cheap plastic helmets are giving > >us headaches! > SERVO: That attempt at humor is just a little under the "getting high thing". CROW: I agree. But it also has the wrong form of "is" after "helmets". > > >Then the two robots merge into a big lizard-type tank-thing CROW: Jim, how come *we* can't do that? JIM: I don't know. Ask that guy who built you, Jacob. CROW and TOM[stubborn]: Joel. JIM: Right. > and fire all > >its guns at it, but ALL: [in sync with the last part of the scentence, blandly] "to no avail." > to no avail. SERVO: I think I've heard enough of that. > > > >Unicron: *sigh* Ah, those robots fanning me CROW: We may fan, but we don't do windows! It almost crashed my hard drive! SERVO: Badabing! > felt good for a while. Oh > >well, I guess I should get a quick Power-Bar before these gnats get > >annoying. > > > >Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd: YEAH! GO GET THEM! HUH? > SERVO: I concur with all three scentences. JIM: Where did they come from? > > >Unicron: This is what you get for talking in all caps. > > > JIM[as Unicorn]: You will be pasued for eternity! >Both: AAAAHHHH!!!! > SERVO: Beautiful silky moisturizers! Ahh... > > >gobble gobble gobble > > > CROW: The end. >Unicron ate the Moon, then turns into a huge robot. > > > CROW: Please end? >Power Rangers: Ah! > JIM: That feels sooo good! > > >Unicron picks up the little tank, and drops it into his mouth. > SERVO[as Unicorn]: Mmm... good jawbreaker. > >gobble gobble gobble > > >Unicron: Mmm...Gummy Bears. > SERVO: I was close. > >Tommy: AAAHHH!!! See what you get for talking in all caps!!! You >bastard!!! > JIM: All right, Tommy! Get at 'em! >Kyle (out of nowhere): Dude, that's my line! > >All: AAAAAHHHHHH!!! > CROW: It's that little bastard from South Park! Kill him! >And they all fall into a pit of molten steel, where they all die (duh). > >Unicron turns back into a planet. > >Unicron: Mmm, now time for the main course. > >gobble gobble gobble > >Unicron ate Earth. > ALL: Horray! No more Power Rangers or Masked Rider or Big Bad Bettleborgs! >Unicron: Mmmm, now -that- hit the spot! > >Unicron now settles himself into what was once Earth's orbit and >hibernates >for a while. > >-=The End=- > ALL: Let's go, go, go! [All do the macarena as they walk out of the theater] >Well, that felt better. Note the shameless plug. :p Anyone interested in >the "Director's Cut?" E-mail me if you want it. :) > >-+Warp+- 1...2...3...4...5...6... [SOL int.] Jim and Servo are behind the counter. SERVO: Well, Jim... it seems that a great many crossovers go down in flaming wrecks. JIM: Yes, they certainly do. SERVO: What would you do a Celebrity Deathmatch crossover of? JIM: I'd probly do Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Starfox. SERVO: I think I'd want The Simpsons vs. South Park. CROW[os]: I'd make Voltron battle the Power Rangers. Agggck! I've got cataracs! I can't see my back! JIM[rolling eyes]: Crow, you're not getting old! -Mads' sign- JIM: Back to you, Pearl Jam! [Castle Forrester] Pearl is in her previous sleeping bag, laying next to a very large heater. She's hitting it hard. PEARL: Damn heater! Work! BOBO[from behind heater]: Uh, Lawgiver, I found the problem. PEARL: What is it? BOBO: The tag here says it's solar powered. [Pearl is very peed off. Observer enters with a letter.] OBSERVER: Madam! I found the reason for the power failure! PEARL: What is it? OBSERVER: We haven't paid our energy bill! PEARL: What?!? [She gets up, grabs the paper and pushes it down over Observer's head. He's now sticking out of the middle of the paper.] PEARL: Bobo! Give me your bed sheets! BOBO[still behind heater]: Hey! I think I found the battery powered heating compartment- [We hear a flaming sound] BOBO: Ooh! Ooh! Owie! I'm on fire!!! [Smoke rises above the heater. Pearl takes his bed sheets and puts them on top of her blankets, then snuggles in.] [love theme, we still hear Bobo yelping] written by: Jim Whaley "The Ultimate Celebrity Deathmatch" written by: Warp featuring: Jim Whaley: James A. Whaley Crow: Bill Corbett Tom Servo: Kevin Murphy Gypsy: Patrick Brantseg Magic Voice: Beez McKeever also featuring: Pearl Forrester: Mary Jo Phel Observer: Bill Corbett Professor Bobo: Kevin Murphy All MST3K characters and situations are trademarks of Best Brains, Inc. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Warp could not be contacted for permission to do this crossover. MST3K created by: Joel Hodgson special thanks to: Best Brains, Inc. All you people who love to laugh e-mail tjats@aol.com for comments, etc. c1998 by Jim Whaley [stinger] >Megatron (needs no introduction): What else do we do? BLAST IT! This has been a Mystery Usenet Theater 3000 production