Here it is just in time to celebrate the anniversary of the creation of the Mads on Mobius continuity; the last story IN the continuity. So without fur- oh, wait; previous MSTings in said continuity should be listed for those new to it. Tricks of the Trade Orcium Seeing Stars Vixen in the Labyrinth / Holloween [sic] Spirits It even inspired others for their own host segments: Blood and Metal: MSTied by Shay Caron Merry Christmas: MSTied by Cedric Henry The T-Bone Saga: MSTied by Michael Reid That's all I gotta say `bout that. [Season 8 theme] [Safe...2...3...4...5...6...klunk-shunk] [Mike, Tom, and Crow surround the desk reading various books. This goes on for a few seconds before Mike looks up.] MIKE: Ah, hi there; welcome to our neighborhood. No off-the-wall sketch for today. We just need our own quiet time. We can't be entertaining all the time. TOM: And anyone who's watched us on KTMA knows that. CROW: Hey! MIKE: So we're just catching some slight R&R and such. Nothing's gonna happen here. CROW: Nope. TOM: Not one bit. MIKE: Not at all. CROW: Won't happen. TOM: Might as well get a snack. MIKE: Talk with your loved one. CROW: That is if you've spent enough time away from your computer and TV to *get* a loved one. TOM: Absolutely. MIKE: So nothing interesting will happen here. CROW: Nuh-uh. TOM: You couldn't find less happening. MIKE: Correct. CROW: In fact, this is all just some dumb gag that's being used to pad out this prologue. TOM: Yeppers. MIKE: We'll just agree that nothing will happen. CROW: And nothing *will* happen. TOM: No. MIKE: If, by any slim chance, you *do* see something interesting happen here please notify us. CROW: Or get some professional help. TOM: Not necessarily in that order. MIKE: Nope. CROW: Nope. TOM: Nope. [All pause and look at each other for a moment, then return to their reading. Reading goes on for a minute or so before Commercial Sign flashes. Mike taps it without looking up.] [Commercials] [SOL bridge. Mike and the `bots are a wreck.] MIKE: Aw, man! I can't *believe* that happened! TOM: Tell me about it! I *still* smell like Toilet Duck. CROW: Let us all hope and pray that a thing like that will never happen again. MIKE: Amen. CROW: To think that could happen here! Of all places! TOM: During a commercial break even! That never happens during a commercial break! MIKE: Except for- [Mads' light flashes] Oh, the Super Friends are calling. What? [Mobius. Outside amidst the village. Periodically, a Mobian will run by shouting something. Observer takes center-screen.] OBSERVER: Mike! Robots! Something terrible has happened! SONIC: [Running by] Way past! Way past! Way past! Way past! Way past! [SOL] TOM: What? [Mobius] OBSERVER: You see, the planetary alignment is just right, and now everyone on this blasted world can't help but spew their catch phrase! BUNNIE: [Running by] Sugah! Sugah! Sugah! Sugah! Sugah! Sugah! Sugah! [SOL] TOM: So why aren't you affected, eh? [Mobius] OBSERVER: Do you really believe me to be that shallow? T-BONE: [Running by] WESTSIDE! WESTSIDE! WESTSIDE! WESTSIDE! WESTSIDE! OBSERVER: And frankly this is just driving me bonkers. SONIC: [(Again) running by] Do it to it! Do it to it! Do it to it! Do it to it! Do it to it! Do it to it! OBSERVER: Especially the blue one that's nothing *but* catch-phrases. ANTOINE: [Running by] Sacré bleu cheese! Sacré bleu cheese! Sacré bleu cheese! Sacré bleu cheese! Sacré bleu cheese! [SOL] TOM: Well, it's not like we'd be that shallow either. Why, we're more three- dimensional than- MIKE: MOVIE SIGN! TOM: No, Mike, we don't- CROW: Bite me! MIKE: Crow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOM: Oh no! GYPSY: [Rushing in] Richard Basehart! Richard Basehart! Richard Basehart! Richard Basehart! MIKE: We'll be right back. CROW: [Random sexual comment] MIKE: CROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOM: AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHH! [Mobius] OBSERVER: You think *you've* got it bad. [Pearl and Bobo run by, Pearl in uncontrollable evil laughter.] BOBO: Lawgiver! Lawgiver! Lawgiver! Lawgiver! Lawgiver! Lawgiver! Lawgiver! OBSERVER: I've got a headache this big. PEARL: Nelstink! Nelburger! Nelsonic! Nelstone! Nelsoneddie! Nelstupid! BOBO: [Random monkey sounds for no reason.] [SOL] GYPSY: Richard? MIKE: Movie. GYPSY: Base. Hart. MIKE: Sign... CROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: Bite me! It's fun! Bite me! TOM: Brainy, isn't there anything we can do? It's like I'm stuck in a Dr. Thinker MSTing up here! MIKE: Crow!!!!!!! [Mobius] OBSERVER: Nope, sorry. All we can do is wait it out. SONIC: [Running by] Jelly and jam time! Rock 'n roller time! Up, over and gone! Yeeha! OBSERVER: [Pause] ...The hell? Anyway, the perfect planetary alignment should dwindle in a couple of minutes. If everyone is cliché then it's their own fault. By the way, Pearl wanted me to send you this double-length fanfic before she vapor-locked. It's called "Chaos Race" for some particular reason and is written by a couple authors you should know and love. DAVEY: [Running by] Phrack! Phrackin' A! Phrack you! Phrack this! Phrack it! OBSERVER: Believe me, you have my pity for this whole stupid situation. SONIC: [Rushing in-screen] Juice time! Motor time! [Observer holds out his fist as Sonic runs into it.] SONIC: Ring t- oof! OBSERVER: Enjoy. [SOL] [Tom is banging his head on the counter repeatedly.] MIKE: We'll be right back. GYPSY: Richard Basehart! Richard Basehart! CROW: Sex! MIKE: Crow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GYPSY: Richard Basehart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROW: Bite me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Alarms] ALL: FANFIC SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Shunk...6...5...4...3...2...safe...] [Tom whimpers as Mike carries him in. Crow follows behind.] MIKE: It's okay. I'm back. TOM: I know. MIKE: D'ohhhh. CROW: Hehehe. >As the sun rose over the disaster zone that was Robotropolis, a single ray of >light somehow penetrated the smog that shrouded the once proud city. MIKE: Santa's coming down from heaven to make it all better! > It struck >a tiny flower TOM: Your Honor, we contend that said ray did strike my client, the flower. > that had been hidden for years, easing it out of its cocoon with >the promise of new life. CROW: Wouldn't the plant be dead if it hadn't gotten any light for years? > The plant slowly, almost cautiously, unfurled its >leaves to catch the wisp of sunlight. Gradually, it began gathering energy to >launch its long dormant seeds, intending to spread them all over the city... TOM: Is that supposed to be symbolic? > >...only to be hit by a stray laser shot from a hoverbot, which burnt the flower >to ashes as Sonic raced by. > >"Aw, man. I was hopin' to pick that for Sally. Now I'm really mad." MIKE: I was saving that laser blast for later! > Sonic >turned down a dead end, leapt up, jumped off the alley wall, CROW: Shouldn't he be slamming some Dew right about now? > and buzzsawed >through his pursuer. The hoverbot crashed into the wall while Sonic ran off, >rounding a corner just in time to miss seeing the sunlight vanish. > >Tails was waiting in the junkyard, lowering a set of binoculars from his eyes >as Sonic ran up. "Did you get it?" MIKE: [Whiny] I don't get it. > >"I got it." Sonic brandished a plastic card in his fist. CROW: "Here's Knuckles' credit card. Let's go shopping!" > "One Identicard, TOM: Oh, great, Syntho-Flavo-Blah all over again. > good >for all the synthesized food we can MIKE: [Sonic] Stuff in our cheeks. > carry away. TOM: So they're risking their lives for cafeteria macaroni and cheese? > Just in time, too...I'm getting >tired of nothin' but CROW: [Sonic] Cannibalism. > salads. MIKE: That darned healthy eating will be the death of us! > So, anything happen here?" > >"Not much. You missed a great sunrise, and the start of an eslip." TOM: Aw, no, Dolly from the Family Circus is visiting this fanfic! > >"You mean eclipse? CROW: [Tails] No, I mean a slip. Sally was taking her's o- MIKE: [Sonic] Alright, gimme those binoculars! > There ain't supposed to be one of those anytime soon." > >"Well, one happened." Tails handed his binoculars to Sonic. "See for >yourself." CROW: [Sonic] Duh. I can't see it if it's already over. I'm not THAT fast. > >Sonic took the proffered vision aid TOM: Sounds kinda like Piers Anthony. > and looked through it. "That's no eclipse, >Tails." MIKE: That's my wife! TOM: [Simultaneously] That's a space station! [Mike and Tom look at each other for a moment.] > His voice took on a note of worry as he saw what was sillhouted against >the sun. "That's the Floating Island." > >"Where Knuckles lives? What's it doing here?" CROW: Looking for his credit card. > >"Good question. MIKE: [Tails] Which one? I asked two. > Maybe Sal will know." CROW: Sure. The heroes of the series have no idea what the Floating Island's doing there but a supporting member of the cast will. > >They sped off in unison back to Knothole. TOM: Oh, great. "Tails headed back to Knothole." > >****** MIKE: So call your local cable operator and tell them "I wanna see Starz!" > >Chaos Race > >Part 1: TOM: The Crap Begins. > Chaos CROW: Race. MIKE: As previously mentioned. > >Written by: Adrian Tymes and Alessandro Sanasi CROW: Aack! Not them *again*! TOM: I thought I recognized that scene break! > >[Legal disclaimer: > >This story is based on characters created by SEGA and Archie Comic Publications, MIKE: Uh-huh... >Inc., and Commander Packbell by David Pistone. Permission is granted to freely MIKE: Yup... >distribute this story, so long as: MIKE: Sure... >a: no recompense of financial value is received or given by the person who MIKE: Great... >distributes the story, and MIKE: Whatever... >b: the distributed copy is identical to the story as originally authored. MIKE: Lovely... >In other words, don't sell it, and don't alter it. MIKE: Why didn't you just say that in the first place?? > >Copyright (c) 1996, CROW: "Copyright copyright 1996"? > all rights reserved, et cetera.] > >****** > >"Sally!" Sonic burst in through the door just ahead of Tails. The noise of TOM: His tail followed seconds later. >their entrance was enough to wake the Princess, who did not look pleased. MIKE: [Sally] Eek! Boys! > >"Do you two know what time it is? The sun isn't even up." CROW: You'll wake him! > >"It is too up." TOM: [whiny Sally] Is not. CROW: [whiny Sonic] Is too. > >Sally started to respond, but decided it was too early to argue with Sonic. MIKE: Not a very good remake of "The Taming of the Shrew," is it? >"Then why is it so dark?" TOM: It's too early to argue, but she will, anyway. > >"'Cause the Floating Island's blockin' the sunlight." > >"Sonic, Knuckles would never be crazy enough to move it this close to >Robotropolis." CROW: Except in this story. > >"He is now." Sonic offered the binoculars to Sally. "Check it out." MIKE: [Sally] They're binoculars. So? > >Sally took the binocs, walked over to the window, and looked to where the sun >was. With just her naked eyes, she could make out something large in the air >between her and Mobius's star. CROW: So, NASA hired Rush Limbaugh? > She almost dropped the binoculars out of shock >when she used them. TOM: "The -- he's *mooning* us!" > "Wake the others. I have a bad feeling about this." > >As Sonic and Tails raced to comply, Sally muttered to herself, "What is that >echnida doing here?" MIKE: He's bringing you a spell-checker, hopefully. CROW: *Still* can't spell "echidna". > >****** > >Deep in the bowels TOM: Ew! CROW: That is *not* a good way to start out a new scene. > of Robotropolis, Packbell monitored a live satellite video >feed. Most of the picture looked as it had for years; MIKE: Uh, Packbell, you forgot to hit the "Refresh" button. > almost all of the damage >that the Freedom Fighters had inflicted was mercifully hidden by the smog, CROW: [Packbell] I can't see it, so it's okay. > and >very little else in the satellite's field of view had changed much since the >coup. TOM: De grace. > The most recent significant change was the circular top CROW: Packbell spun while waiting for something to happen. > of the Floating >Island, which seemed to crawl across the screen at a snail's pace. MIKE: See, that's El Niño's fault too. > A data box CROW: Do you have Data box? Well, you better let him out, then! Ha ha ha! >superimposed on the video showed that the island's speed was actually 20 >kilometers per hour, which was a decent clip for something that large. > >From a ventilation shaft TOM: Can ya dig it? > behind Packbell, Snively watched the same image. That >was not all he was watching, for a robot that he had reprogrammed had just >entered the room. > >Packbell turned towards the diminuitive servicebot, curious. "Why are you >here?" CROW: See, when a mommy servicebot and a daddy servicebot love each other very much... > >"REQUEST CLARIFICATION REGARDING REASON FOR NOT ATTACKING FLOATING ISLAND." MIKE: [Packbell] "Denied!" TOM: [servicebot] "Request explanation of denial." MIKE: [Packbell] "Denied!" TOM: [servicebot] "Request explanation of denial..." > >"You can't figure it out? CROW: "You're no Summer Sanders." > Ok, I'll tell you. That island is headed directly >for Robotropolis." TOM: "It's made of robyptonite! It'll destroy our enemy, Superhedgehog!" > >"LOGIC INDICATES TERMINATION OF POTENTIAL THREAT BEFORE IT CAN LAND ON >ROBOTROPOLIS BASE IS DESIRABLE." ALL: Oww! CROW: Why do machines scream in this world? > >"I will terminate it. But I want it as close to us as possible when we shoot it >down, to make it difficult for those Freedom Fighters to harrass my workerbots TOM: "Keep mooning them and giving them Wet Willies and wedgies." >while they salvage the island's wreckage. And now I have a question: why did >you bother me about this? You are not programmed to ask such things." MIKE: How *dare* you try to anticipate upcoming orders! > >The servicebot made no reply. TOM: [servicebot] Uhh... 42? > >"I see." Faster than Snively could perceive, Packbell whipped out a laser rifle MIKE: [servicebot] Uh, sir, before you do that, I just want to tell you that I found the location of-- >and scrapped the 'bot. "You're fired." MIKE: [servicebot] Oh, well, never mind. > >Snively frowned at the waste of a robot, CROW: [Snively] Yick. Robot waste. > but balanced that with the knowledge >that it had served its purpose in extracting Packbell's plan. > >"But the real question," Packbell mused out loud, "is what that echinda is >doing here." TOM: Oh, look, a *new* spelling for "echidna". > >****** > >"Mon, MIKE: Dieu! > will somebody remind me what I am doing here?" > >"Filling a promise to someone who saved your hide." TOM: How do you fill a promise? MIKE: Maybe a promise is one of those really obscure English units that nobody uses, like a dram or a slug. CROW: Yeah, I think there are sixteen pennyweights in a promise. > >Knuckles glared at the responder, then reminded himself that what she said was >true. Amy Rose had saved his life when his attempt to buy some supplies had >turned into an ambush. CROW: Is that the same Rose that got clobbered earlier? MIKE: That was a generic flower. > If she weren't so sweet, Knuckles knew he would blame >her for the surprise. As it was, he was suspicious of her just happening to be >in the right place at the right time. "A promise to take you to Knothole. >Which is the only reason I let you up here. But what I still don' understand, >girl, is why? TOM: A daring story technique in which nobody has any reason for being where they are, or doing what they're doing. > If you got somethin' at Knothole, couldn't you just walk? CROW: "Sure, let me walk down the Floating Island to Knothole." TOM: Idiot. > Or >stay there?" > >Amy Rose stared off into the Great Forest, searching for any disturbance that >could mark the Freedom Fighters' base. "It's been so long since I was there, I >don't remember where it is anymore." TOM: [Knuckles] Neider do I, girl, so we're in big trouble. > >"So, why'd you leave? What's changed since you left, that you wanna go back >now?" > >"Sonic." > >"That hedgehog? MIKE: "No, the walnut. OF COURSE I mean the hedgehog!" > What you want with him?" > >Amy's face hardened into a look of cold determination. "I want him. CROW: Whoa! Hormonal for a 10-year-old! TOM: Hey, wait, I thought Amy was sweet on Tails! MIKE: I think this is a prequel. > Princess >Acorn stole his heart, CROW: Ick, just like in "The Temple of Doom." > but with Robotnik out of the way, she'll be too busy >running things to keep me from stealing it back. TOM: Man, she sounds-- MIKE: Don't say it. TOM: She sounds just like-- MIKE: I'm warning you. TOM: She sounds like a-- MIKE: Stop right there! TOM: Like a hedgehog Marrissa! CROW: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! > And that is exactly what I >intend to do." > >"Riight. Sure you will." > >"What is that supposed to mean?" > >"Umm...err..." CROW: Oh, that explains it. > Knuckles paused as the Chaos Emeralds, which he was >telepathically linked to by virtue of being their guardian, TOM: So he mind melds with a rock. That's about the gist of it. > signalled that he >was slightly off course. MIKE: And the rocks are smarter than him. > "Hang on, course change." CROW: "Port 30 degrees. Arrhh, matey!" > The island shuddered a bit >as the emeralds, at Knuckles' command, altered the island's direction so that it >was headed for Knothole instead of for Robotropolis. > >****** > >Packbell was not happy when he heard the status update. "What do you mean, it >changed course?" > >"DIRECTIONAL SHIFT CONFIRMED. FLOATING ISLAND NO LONGER HEADED FOR >ROBOTROPOLIS." TOM: [Packbell] Hey, didn't I just blow you up? > >"It looks like I'll have to use my backup plan, then. MIKE: Dur-hey! > Prepare the image seeking >missiles; we'll have to take the island intact." CROW: We want it in one piece! Blow it up! > >In the shaft, TOM: Can ya dig it? > Snively quickly recalculated, updating his own plans. > >****** > >Knuckles hefted a backpack in his arms as the island slowed to a stop. "There. >Knothole is directly below us." > >"How am I going to get down? You locked away the rope ladder we used to get >up." CROW: "We're going to drop a glass filled with water just before you jump off." > Amy kneeled on the edge of the island, unable to see any distinguishing >marks in the forest canopy just below the island's bottom. > >"Put this on." Knuckles MIKE: Said handing her a clown wig. > handed the pack to Amy. > >"Ok..." Amy strapped it to her front, out of fear that the spiky quills along >her back would puncture it. TOM: So now the chute will just whap her face off. > >Knuckles put her hand on a handle attached to the pack's straps. "Pull this if >you want to live." MIKE: In other words, don't touch it. > >"Huh? Why?" > >"'Cause now, you will..." Knuckles lifted Amy over his head. "...GET OFF MY >ISLAND!" He threw her over the side. TOM: Hm. I think he has some issues here. MIKE: [Knuckles] Now, where is my camping equipment? CROW: [Amy] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... > >Amy had enough presence of mind to pull the handle, which deployed the parachute >that she had just put on. > >****** > >"Well, that explains it." Sonic was staring upwards through the binocs, where >he saw something being dropped MIKE: [Knuckles] Oh, crap. My shoe. > on Knothole with a parachute. > >"What?" CROW: "I have only one huge, weirdly shaped eye with two pupils." > Sally gazed upwards, but could only see a vague movement at the >island's edge. > >"Floating Island express. TOM: When it absolutely, positively has to be delivered at half the speed of crawling. > Looks like Knucks wanted to make a delivery. I just >hope Packbell doesn't take the hint and look for Knothole here." TOM: Nah, that'd be... oh, what's the word? MIKE: Intelligent? TOM: Yeah, that's it. > >"So what did he drop?" CROW: A log. > >"I can't tell, it's too far away. Tails, could you escort whatever it is away >from us, just in case? Sal and I will meet you where you land." > >"Sure thing." Tails flew straight up as fast as he could. TOM: {BONK} MIKE: "We're inside, silly." TOM: "D'oh." > >****** > >After tumbling around for a bit, CROW: She broke every bone in her flippin' body. > Amy resigned herself to drifting on her back >for the rest of her flight. She started to daydream as she floated, which >stopped her from hearing a familiar whirring, TOM: And got ground to hamburger by a helicopter prop. > or from noticing that she was >being pushed away from straight down. Amy did notice when Tails put his face in >hers. MIKE: "BOOGA BOOGA!" > >"Amy? Are you alright?" > >"Tails?" She spent a few seconds waking from her daydream, then hugged Tails >fiercely. "Tails! It's been so long..." CROW: This reminds me of Marrissa and Jay... [pause] ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! > >"Eew! Lemme go!" Tails struggled to get out of the female hedgehog's embrace. > >Amy did as asked, then saw Tails brushing himself off. "What's the matter?" > >"You put girl cooties on me." > >Amy giggled, TOM: "Hehe. Sexist pig." > then craned her neck to see downwards. CROW: What neck? > "Is Sonic here?" > >"Yeah. He-" > >Amy interrupted Tails by taking off her parachute. MIKE: It's just slowing her down. > "I can't wait to meet him." >She let it go, and dropped like a rock. CROW: So when's she going to meet up with Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse and Eddie Valiant? MIKE: Tails didn't dare save her; he was afraid of cooties. TOM: {Splut} > >Tails flew down, faster than she fell, and caught her. "Can you at least wait >'til we're on the ground?" > >She looked back up at Tails, and smiled mischeviously. "Hurry it up then, or >I'll kiss you." > >"Do it and I drop you right now." > >"You can't drop me if..." Amy threw her arms around Tails again. MIKE: "...I've got your wallet." > "...I'm >hugging you." > >Tails sped towards the ground as if his life depended on it. TOM: But couldn't slow down fast enough to prevent them from smashing against the ground like a pair of overripe melons. > >****** TOM: And there are their remains right now. > >Sonic and Sally had lost sight of the parachute, so they kept pace with how >Tails had been pushing it. They heard a noise behind them and, as one, turned >around to see an airborne ball of orange fur and pink quills heading their way. CROW: Why is everyone DayGlo colors on this planet? > >"Help, MIKE: I need somebody. > help, MIKE: Not just anybody. > getheroffme!" CROW: You know, Getheroffme was one of the most important leaders of the Anglo-Saxon tribes in the century before Christianity was brought to Britain. > Amy had wisely stayed away from Tails' tails, so he >was able to steer them towards the now-smirking hedgehog and squirrel. > >As they neared, Amy released Tails and used her momentum to go into a cartwheel. >She landed on Sonic's upper torso, knocking him down. MIKE: "You didn't need that ribcage, didja?" > "Sonic!" Amy proceeded >to cover his face in kisses, only missing his lips. Unnoticed by anyone else, >a scowl briefly darkened Sally's face at this sight. TOM: Anyone else but who? > >"Hey, Amy, cut it out," Sonic laughed. CROW: [Sonic] Wait until Sally's not around and we can--D'oh, wait... > >"Oh, sorry, it's just so good to see you again." Amy stepped off of Sonic, >beaming. > >"That's alright, but - hey!" Sonic started to get up, but Sally pulled him >upright all of a sudden. MIKE: "Girls, girls, there's only so much hunka-hunka burnin' hedge to go around." > She gave him a long, deep kiss that eventually made >Sonic go limp in her arms. CROW: [Tails] Uh, Sally? I think he ran out of air there. > Tails turned his face away and covered his eyes in >disgust. Behind Sonic, Amy went from shock to anger to barely controlled rage. TOM: The Random Emotions Sequencer! New, from Galoob! MIKE: So, from shock, to anger, to anger. >Sonic's eyes were closed, but Sally's were open just to see this. Sally smiled >through her kiss, which just made Amy madder. > >When Sally came up for air, CROW: By that time, my lungs were- TOM: Ahem. CROW: Sorry. > Sonic asked, "What was that for?" > >"Nothing, my love." > >Sonic straightened out at this. "'My love'? You've never called me that >before." MIKE: "Sure I have, sugar dumplin'." > >Tails had returned his gaze to the scene. "That's because she's almost never >met any of your other girlfriends before." > >Sally and Amy both looked to Tails. "Other girlfriends?" > >"Yeah. There's Aunt Sally, Amy Rose, Tiara Boobowski..." MIKE: Okay, Crow, get it over with. CROW: [Excited] 'Boob'owski! I think I know where she got *that* last name! Boobowski! Yes! MIKE: Done? CROW: [Calming down] I guess so. > >"Tails!" Sonic looked around, blushed, then cleared his throat nervously. >"Umm, T2 and I need to have a little chat. TOM: "Now listen; quit going into the past to keep people from giving birth! It's annoying!" > Hedgehog to fox, you know?" > >Amy and Sally were glaring at each other. MIKE: [Bitterly] "New shoes?" TOM: [The same] "Not since Robotnik destroyed all the centers of commerce." MIKE: "How's the family?" TOM: "Captured. Turned into evil robots." MIKE: "How's the lawn?" TOM: "Dead." > Neither replied verbally, so intent >on each other that they had barely heard Sonic. > >"Right. We'll be back soon." Sonic grabbed Tails by the arm and ran away. > >None of the four noticed a flock of missiles streak overhead. CROW: I thought that ended back in the seventies? TOM: Not exactly a Ron Chaffee in the bunch, is there? > >****** > >Mighty the Armadillo ALL: Had a very shiny nose! And if you ever saw it! You would even say it glows! > was as happy to see Amy leave as Knuckles was. "Sheez, MIKE: "Amy and her 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'" >just because she saves your hide means that you gotta risk this entire island?" > >"Well excuse me, mon, but I be da TOM: [Knuckles] Silly talkin' weirdo. > Guardian o' the Chaos Emeralds. I'm the one >who determines where dis island floats to. I promised her anything I could do, >and what does that crazy girl ask for?" MIKE: A refrigerator carton. I don't know why. > Knuckles shook his head. "Next time, >you get the supplies - you can't be tricked into makin' dat kind of promise. >Besides, what's Packbell gonna do to us way up here? Try to shoot us down?" > >Mighty pointed. "Sure looks like it." > >Knuckles turned around just in time to see two missiles incoming. He ducked, MIKE: ...then goosed TOM: Yup, that'll keep your island from shattering. > as >did Mighty, letting the missiles fly overhead. > >"Only two?" MIKE: He's awfully relaxed about coming within half a degree of gyroscopic tolerance of becoming remains. > >"Packbell must be goin' after us, not de island. Here they come again!" > >Sure enough, the missiles had turned around. CROW: They got scared of the island, and ran away. > Each had been programmed with the >visible image of their target, its infrared signature, and data for every other >sensor Packbell could cheaply include; TOM: Just because he's going for total annihilation is no reason not to be frugal. > one missile had been launched for each >known inhabitant of the Floating Island. > >Knuckles ran ahead of his missile, [Mike and Crow look at each other in silence.] > summoning the speed that he had once used to >race Sonic. > >Mighty was not as quick. MIKE: In fact, he just stood there drooling in his own world. CROW: "Duhh, what's a missile?" > >"MIGHTY!" Knuckles saw the missile detonate directly in front of Mighty. The >warhead's explosion, tinged an odd green instead of the usual bright orange, MIKE: Oh, that means he's not dead *permanently*. >swallowed his friend up before Knuckles' eyes. "You will pay for that, android. >By the Emeralds, if he does not live, neither will you." TOM: If you buy the Random Emotions Sequencer, you will also receive a coupon for the Random Accent Device! > He knew his threat was >wasted on the missile since Packbell would not bother to monitor its camera, so >Knuckles made a mental note to repeat his vow when he saw Packbell again...if he >lived that long. As he ran, explosions elsewhere on the Floating Island showed >Knuckles that the other missiles had all found their marks. > >****** CROW: See? All six of them, right there! > >The quiet that followed Sonic's departure was so charged that a robot could have >run itself on it, and recharged its batteries at the same time. > >Eventually, Amy broke the silence. "How DARE you kiss my Sonic." TOM: "You're supposed to kiss the visitor's Sonic, out in the linen closet." > >Sally was just as angry as Amy, and she let it show. "Your Sonic? We went >through this last time you were here. CROW: Please, don't go into a flashback on our account. > That hedgehog is royal property. MIKE: He's not her hero! He's her slave! > Keep >your hands, and lips, off." > >"You don't own him. He can choose who he wants to love." TOM: "And I'm gonna make him choose to love me." > Amy's voice froze to >the point that Sally thought she saw icicles on her breath. "And he will choose >me." > >"Sonic deserves far better than you." Sally smirked as she taunted Amy. MIKE: "He deserves a hormonal, taunting jerk like me." >"You're just a peasant." > >"At least I'd have time for him. After all, unlike a certain princess..." Amy >jabbed a finger at Sally as if to toss it like a dagger. CROW: Like that would do any good on a gloved hand, anyway. > "...I'm not so busy >running everything that I'd ignore Sonic. Besides, you're a squirrel, and Sonic >is a hedgehog. MIKE: "He'd love a racist fathead like me." > Who do you think he would fit best with?" CROW: I'm not saying, but I have caught him looking at dirty pictures of gerbils on the Internet. > She smiled, retracted >her hand into a fist, and extended its thumb towards her chest. TOM: "Yup. Me. The head cheese. Marcus Junius Brutus himself." CROW: Unfortunately, she jabbed herself a little too hard and suffered severe internal injuries. She died early the next day. > >Sally's fur seemed to turn red, MIKE: Used some dyes on it. CROW: Princess Dye! Yuk yuk. > but then Amy realized that the red was from >Sally's skin. "How dare you! I have known Sonic for far longer than you have. >You only noticed him after he...after WE started fighting Robotnik. I know he >loves me, even if he rarely says it. What does he say to you?" > >Amy only growled in reply. > >"Ooh, that much, eh?" Sally was starting to lighten up, having, in her mind, >won the discussion. "Well, let me tell you what my Sonic and I..." TOM: I'm getting some "Pod People" flashbacks. > >Sally's retort was interrupted by a massive explosion that rocked the Floating >Island, shaking it to a point that was visible even from the ground far below. MIKE: [Marvin Martian] Resulting in an earth-shattering KABOOM. > >****** > >Oblivious to the both the chase far above and the arguement he had left behind, >Sonic came to a halt far out of hearing range of his duelling girlfriends. > >Tails had been flying just above the ground as he was dragged along. When Sonic >stopped, Tails landed rather than spend the energy to stay airborne. "What'd >you do that for?" > >"'Cause it ain't nice to make Sal and Amy jealous like that." CROW: Well, it's entertaining to emotionally torment the adults around you, but it's still not *nice*. > >"What do you mean? They asked a question, so I answered with the truth." Tails >cocked his head. "Wasn't that right?" TOM: Now I'm getting "Bobby's World" flashbacks. > >"Well, umm," Sonic started, but was at a loss for words. CROW: [Sonic] Hey, you're right! Emotional deception and petty squabbles are pointless wastes of precious energy and time! Thanks, Tails, you're the best therapist I've ever seen! > "Look," he eventually >said, "girls are a bit different, you know... MIKE: [Sonic] See, you lie to them, and tell each of 'em they're the only one for you. That way you can have all the girlfriends you want! > sometimes it's better not to tell >them everything in detail, or they might get upset." CROW: "Yeah, 'cause girls are dumb." > >"So that's why you never told Amy that you love Aunt Sally?" > >Sonic winced at the memory. A long time ago, the blue hedgehog had been on a >routine mission in the Great Unknown, when he and Amy accidentally met. For >her, it was love at first sight. Amy was nice and friendly, and Sonic liked >having her around, but his love already belonged to Sally. TOM: It was kept in a mayonnaise jar at Funk & Wagnal's since noon today. > Not realizing the >true reason for Amy's affection, he did not tell her about his relationship, and >Amy never asked. She was just happy to be with him. So, when Sonic returned to >Knothole, Amy learned of Sally the hard way. CROW: By reading the special "Sonic Really Loves Sally" four-issue mini-series from Archie Comics. > He still vividly remembered the >shocked expression on Amy's face when Sally rushed up and gave him a long, deep >welcoming kiss. TOM: "There goes his nose!" CROW: And he couldn't forget the look on Amy's face when she walked in on him and Sally... > For weeks, Sally and Amy vied for Sonic's love, neither one >recognizing that Sonic had already chosen Sally. Eventually, Amy left Knothole, >but she never forgot him. Her love only grew while they were apart. > >"Look, Sonic...I'm sorry." > >Sonic got on one knee so he could make his eye level even with Tails', then put >a hand on his friend's shoulder. "It's ok, big guy. I just hope they don't >fight again." MIKE: After all, you've just thrown two passionate people together, riled up their emotions, and left them without supervision. What could happen? > >"Maybe we should..." CROW: [Tails] Split them between us! > >Tails' suggestion was interrupted by a rumbling from above. MIKE: Winnie the Pooh's flying and he's got a rumbly in his tumbly! > As Sonic and Tails >looked up, they saw seven colored points of light streak away from the Floating >Island. TOM: Aw, no, our subplot just blew up! > >****** > >Knuckles tried the old trick of stopping in front of a wall, waiting, and >dashing out of the way just before the missile hit. Unfortunately, the missile >turned too quickly. No matter what he did, the echnida could not CROW: Get the authors to spell his species right. > shake his >pursuer, so he headed for the one thing that could save him: the Chaos Emeralds. > >Knuckles raced for the Chaos Chamber, located deep under the surface of the >island. Just as he was about to leap into the tunnel leading to the chamber, >Knuckles tripped over a rock and landed flat on his face, heavily dazed. MIKE: He picked the wrong day to start wearing high heels. > The >missile tried to change course, but before it could, it had flown into the >narrow tunnel. Having lost its target, the missile hurtled downwards. CROW: Try as he might, he can't get away from the missile. When he acts stupid, it misses him. What message is this trying to convey? > >A loud explosion, which shook the whole island, was the last thing Knuckles >heard before he passed out completely. > >****** > >Instinctively, Sally plucked her minicomputer from its usual boot holster, and >flipped it open. "Nicole: what caused that explosion?" MIKE: "Where in the world are the Chaos Emeralds?" > >"WORKING..." TOM: I'm going to go out on a limb and say 'explosives.' > >Sonic and Tails raced up just as Nicole finished its computation. > >"EXPLOSION TYPE: STUN EXPLOSIVE - ANTIPERSONELL MISSILE WARHEAD. EXPLOSIVE >FORCE INCREASED BY UNKNOWN METHOD, EXPLOSION LOCATION SUGGESTS CHAOS EMERALD >INFLUENCE LIKELY." > >Amy stopped scanning the skies. "Was that Packbell's missile, or..." CROW: Are you just happy to see me? > >Nicole interrupted, "WARNING: MIKE: "DO NOT TAKE SHAMPOO ORALLY." > KNOTHOLE VILLAGE IN DANGER. CHAOS EMERALDS HAVE >BEEN EJECTED FROM FLOATING ISLAND BY EXPLOSION. REMOVAL OF CHAOS EMERALDS >DISALLOWS MOVEMENT OF FLOATING ISLAND. LACK OF CHAOS ENERGY WILL CAUSE FLOATING >ISLAND TO FALL IN TEN HOURS." > >Sally's face mirrored her quick comprehension. "And it's right over Knothole." TOM: [Nicole] I JUST SAID THAT, YOU DINGBAT. > >"ANALYSIS INDICATES DESTRUCTION OF ALL BUILDINGS AND CREATURES IN KNOTHOLE TEN >HOURS FROM NOW UNLESS ALL CHAOS EMERALDS ARE IN PHYSICAL CONTANCT WITH THE >FLOATING ISLAND SIMULTANEOUSLY BEFORE THEN." CROW: Duh. That's what you'd expect to happen when a huge chunk of land falls out of the sky and lands on a village. > >"Nicole, where are the Chaos Emeralds?" > >"STILL AIRBORNE FROM EXPLOSION. COMPUTING PROBABLE LANDING SITES..." TOM: So it blows a cave sky high but no rubble lands on the village. > >A holographic map of the nearby portion of Mobius popped up, with seven dots MIKE: And a yakko. >distributed in a rough circle. Each dot was colored to match the emerald that >it stood for. > >Sonic snapped CROW: And became an ax murderer. > his fingers. "If Packbell's using stun warheads, he's probably >gonna try to take the Floating Island. It'll be hard to return the emeralds >with his 'bots all over the place. CROW: Us? What've we got to do with this? TOM: Our involvement in this fanfic is fictional. CROW: Aargh! > We'd better juice back and get the others. >Grab on." CROW: [Sonic] Amy! Not there! > >Sally and Amy both hugged Sonic quickly. Sally shifted around to try to >"accidentally" knock Amy off, MIKE: She's jealous enough to stoop to MURDER? > but Amy lightly pressed her quills into Sally's >stomach to ward off the attempt. Sonic and Tails took off CROW: Sally and Amy's heads so they'd quit jabbering. > , faster than either >Sally or Amy could travel alone, and returned to Knothole in a matter of >seconds. TOM: The future of commuting. > >At the village, most of Knothole was already discussing what the Floating >Island's presence could mean. They had assembled to wait for Sally, Tails, and >Sonic to return with whatever had dropped; their reaction to Amy was mixed. >More than a few were concerned that she meant bad news for Sally, but most just >welcomed the child as a long-gone friend. MIKE: Despite having never met her before. > >Sally waited for the reaction to die down before addressing the crowd. TOM: So she waited 5000 years? See, 'reaction', and nuclear, and plutonium's half life... oh, forget it. > She >pointed to two Mobians, then to herself. On her gesture, Bunnie and Antoine >came forwards. MIKE: Do you, Bunnie, take this Supporting Character to be your lawfully designated Second Banana? > >Bunnie was one of those acting friendly towards Amy Rose. CROW: But she was only acting. She was secretly plotting a way to take out both Amy and Sally at once so she could have Sonic all to herself. > She smiled, reached >over, and mussed up Amy's head quills MIKE: And sliced her hand up. > as she asked, "What're you doin' back >heah, you rascal?" > >Sally responded before Amy could. "We have a problem. The Floating Island will >fall in ten hours unless we can get the Chaos Emeralds back. And it looks like >Packbell may attempt to take the Floating Island in that time. Can we evacuate >Knothole before then, while still keeping Packbell off the island so we can >safely return the emeralds?" > >Anotoine shook his head. "Zat would be empossible, my prinzess. CROW: "Well, what if we just evacuate the popular people?" > Ahur most >recent attack on Robotropolis resulted in many wounded; without vehicles, eet >would take twelve hours to move zem far enough away. Zat eis if we abandon all >of ahur heavy equipment, TOM: [Antoine] Like zees accent. > and do not even try to defend ze island." MIKE: So it turns out all this time their defensive strategy is 'hope Robotnik is too stupid to find us.' > >"Then we have no choice: we must recover the emeralds. Nicole: display map." TOM: [Nicole] I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT, DAVE. >The same holographic map appeared. Sally pointed to the appropriate parts of >it as she continued. CROW: "This is the Toobular Boobular region, and over here's the Tushital Crackular." > "We need everyone to help evacuate Knothole and defend the >island, so I can only assign a few to search for the emeralds." MIKE: Even though we just established that was impossible for us to do. > She looked >around. TOM: Quick, everybody take notes. [Mike pulls out a pad of paper and begins writing, while Tom reads the fic to him.] > "Sonic, you get the blue and grey emeralds, then return here." TOM: Okay, Sonic is going for the blue and gray emeralds... MIKE: [muttering and scribbling] Sonic...blue...gray... > >Sonic saluted. CROW: "Ow! I forgot I had no forehead." > "Right away." And was gone, leaving only a sudden breeze to >mark his passage. CROW: [Sally] You will of course need your Omni and this new Voyagers History Book to help you correct the course of...oh, he's gone... > >Sally's fur was ruffled, CROW: "Bunnie, quit going around ruffling *everyone's* fur!" > but she did no bother to smooth it. "Antoine, you go >for the yellow emerald, then work your way around. TOM: ...and Antoine's getting the yellow one... MIKE: [muttering and scribbling] Antoine...yellow... > You think you can do it?" CROW: Only at the humiliating cost seeing Antoine in a scene relevant to the plot. > >"But my prinzess," Antoine began, his knees starting to tremble. CROW: "I am turning into Colonel Klink!" > "Wouldn't it >bee better if I stayed here and helped ze others with the evacuation?" > >"Ah, stuff it, Ant," Bunnie interrupted, "Ah'll get that gem!" TOM: No, wait, scratch that. Bunnie's getting it. MIKE: Oh, okay. [Erase, erase, scribble, scribble.] > >"I'm afraid not," Sally said to Bunnie. TOM: Wait, Bunnie's *not* going for it. MIKE: D'rrrgh. [Erase, erase, scribble, scribble.] > "I need you to coordinate the defense >of the Floating Island. CROW: "Uh...shoot at stuff moving up that isn't us?" > I think Packbell's already knocked out the inhabitants; >you'll have to wake them up. If we don't return in six hours, CROW: We'll be back later. > evacuate as >many people as you can." She sighed. "If we take that long, you can assume we >won't be coming back." > >"W-won't be coming back?" CROW: "Well, okay, coming back right at the climactic moment of the plot, then." > Antoine's face turned pale, making him look like he >would faint any second. "Um, my prinzess, perhaps we should not be going >unaccompanified?" > >"I'll go with him!" Tails piped up, pleased of the opportunity to finally go on >an adventure. CROW: And botch it instantly. > Before Antoine could react, Tails grabbed hold of his arm and was >ready to speed off. TOM: OK, Antoine and Tails together are going for the yellow... MIKE: Sure this time? TOM: Yes. [Mike scribbles some more.] > >Sally looked a bit worried, but finally nodded in agreement. After all, Tails >was old enough to be a Freedom Fighter, and because of his flying abilities he >was probably the best one she could find for this task. CROW: Yeah, flying is much better than experience in stealth, orienteering, search operations, and personal combat. > "All right, but be >careful. I will go for the remaining gems." TOM: ...and Sally's getting the rest. ALL: [double take] HUH?! CROW: The hero of the series and the one most able to defend himself only gets two of the emeralds, it takes the sidekick and a minor character together just to get one, and the lesser-powered love interest is going for three?! > >"All right!" Tails smiled broadly, then took off in the opposite direction with >Antoine in tow, CROW: "Quit draggeeng me! OW! Zare was a brokeen bottle zare!" > leaving just as much wind as Sonic did. The breeze ruffled >Sally's fur again, exactly countering what Sonic's wind had done. TOM: [Butt-head] Huh huh huh, Sonic farted! > >"I want to come too!" > >Sally turned around to find herself face to face with Amy, whom she had >completely forgotten about. MIKE: [Sally] Gaaah! Don't *do* that! > >"No. You stay here and help the others," Sally replied, with a sharp edge to >her voice. > >"I have as much right to go as you have! I made Knuckles bring the island here >in the first place; it's my fault that he's in trouble now." > >Bunnie looked from Sally to Amy, then back to Sally. CROW: Then Amy, Sally, and Amy. It really didn't lead to anything. > "Are y'all sure you two >should be workin' togethah?" > >Sally thought for a moment, then grinned. "Yes. And after all, we have... TOM: The chance to murder one another. >unfinished buisiness to take care of. Why not take care of it at the same >time?" Before Bunnie could object, Sally grabbed Amy and ran off. > >****** > >Packbell studied the pattern of seven dots that had been superimposed on the >satellite's picture. "Attention, SWATbot batallions two through seven: MIKE: You're first up for the Three-Legged-Robot Race. > prepare >to intercept the Chaos Emeralds. Coordinates will be provided shortly. Your >orders are to harrass the Freedom Fighters, TOM: "Call them names like 'pootie-pants' if you must." > and capture them if you can. The >Chaos Emeralds themselves are a secondary objective. If there are no Freedom >Fighters present when you arrive, secure the emerald and wait. CROW: Remember to use the buddy system when crossing the street. > Hoverbot >squadrons Beta, TOM: Alpha, Gamma... > Foxtrot, TOM: Garfield, Peanuts... > and Dino: TOM: Hoppy, Bam-bam. > attempt to secure the Floating Island. >Hoverbot Alpha, prepare to launch." At the flick of a switch, the room shut >down, MIKE: "Oops." > and Packbell ran to leave it. > >"I wonder where he's going in such a hurry?" Snively crawled out of the shaft TOM: Can ya dig it? >once Packbell had left, turned the room back on, and studied a map of MIKE: DOOM. CROW: [Snively] Hmm, imps around that corner, go here for the red key... >Robotropolis. "And using hoverbot Alpha, too...Robotnik's old craft." He >looked around to make sure he was alone, then started typing away. TOM: PLZ SEN MEE NOOD BUNNY PIX THNX. > "Good thing >he thinks I'm dead, or he'd have better security. CROW: "Using 'packbell' for a password! Ha!" > Like he could lock me out of >Robotropolis's computers. I designed them for Robotnik, and even he could not >have locked me out entirely." > >After finishing his typing, Snively turned the room off again. MIKE: Ugh! CROW: Please. Put your shirt back on. > He cackled as >he headed for SWATbot batallion two, "Now the robots shall deliver the emeralds >to me. With the power of the Chaos Emeralds, Packbell and the Freedom Fighters >shall all be my slaves. TOM: No, wait, that's the power of Greyskull I'm thinking of. > And even if I only get one, I can still come out >ahead." > >****** > >"Owww...mon, dat hurt." Knuckles woke up in front of a smoking tunnel, covered >with dirt and rubble. "Now where's..." He froze as his telepathic call to the >Chaos Emeralds went unanswered. MIKE: [Knuckles] Mon, I can't believe it takes four rings for da machine ta pick up. > Looking around, he realized what had just >happened. "Uh, oh...this is not good." > >Within minutes, Knuckles was kneeling besides Mighty, CROW: "Will you marry me?" > checking for a pulse. >"C'mon, Mighty, you can't die on me..." TOM: C'mon, Mighty, we know you can! Can't die on me, you're the gingerbread man! > As if in response to Knuckles' command, >Mighty's pulse beat once under Knuckles' finger. CROW: [Groucho Marx] Either this armadillo's dead or my watch has stopped. > Pressing a bit harder, >Knuckles felt a weak sign of his friend's survival. MIKE: And pressing harder still, he snuffed out his friend's tentative hold on life. > Almost at the same time, a >scent drifted into Knuckles' nose. TOM: [Knuckles] Ah mon, that Sonic musta farted again. > "Wait...I know that smell. CROW: No accent... > Dat be stun >gas." CROW: Accent! > Knuckles inspected a nearby shard of the missile that had taken down >Mighty. "Packbell wanted us alive. MIKE: For absolutely no reason other than to let them defeat him later on. > Well, he won't get us." He removed his >hand from his friend. "Wait here, mon. Knuckles be right back with da >emeralds. Everything's gonna be ok." > >Near the center of the Floating Island, CROW: There's cream filling. > a shaft TOM: Can ya dig it? > had been drilled to allow access >to the island's vast interior. A corkscrew ramp ran around the shaft's TOM: Can ya dig it? >perimeter, terminating at a pit opening at the surface and a hidden cave opening >on the bottom. As Knuckles ran down this path, he mused that the same chaos >energy that had magnified the warhead's explosive power had also lessened its >stun power. ALL: HUH? CROW: The Return of the Son of the Fanfic Luck. > The emeralds seemed to delight in chaos, even though they >supposedly only possessed enough of a mind for telepathy, and certainly not >enough to experience happiness. MIKE: Because intelligent rocks would make mocking the show too easy. > As he got to the bottom, he noted that a few >treetops were just below the shaft's TOM: Can ya dig it? > exit, as they were when he had parked the >island to drop Amy off. MIKE: So Amy's endless fall turned out to be about 27 feet, then? > He leapt down to a tree, climbed to the ground, and >once again tried to contact the emeralds telepathically. He only sensed one, so >Knuckles took off towards it. As he ran, he yelled, TOM: "Run, Forrest!" > "Packbell! You messed with >my friends, you messed with my gems...now, android, you mess with ME." CROW: And with that cliché note, we're out of here. [All leave] [...safe...2...3...4...5...6...klunk-shunk] [Mike, Tom, and Crow are present.] MIKE: So... Knuckles and the Amazing Technicolor Emeralds, eh? TOM: Yup. CROW: Yup. [Suddenly, the ship shakes violently as a loud crash is heard.] MIKE: WHOA! Cambot, Rocket #9! [R#9. It seems that Knuckles' Floating Island has risen so high it collided with the SOL, which is now atop the island.] [Cut to a forested area of the island where Mike and the `bots have already exited the ship. They're walking around a tad confused when Mighty comes in with a high voice.] MIGHTY: De plane! De plane! [Knuckles walks in, and he too has a high voice.] KNUCKLES: Hello, and welcome to da Floating Island. I ahm de silly talkin' dude of dis here place, an- MIKE: Hey, wait, whoa-whoa-whoa. What has happened here? CROW: Yeah, mind providing any exposition? KNUCKLES: Yes, certainly... dude. CROW: Dude, yes. TOM: Yeah. KNUCKLES: You see, without my emeralds, I've been forced to keep my island in de skies by keeping it full of nitrogen. M&TB: WAUGH! KNUCKLES: Dah! I mean helium. Of course. M&TB: Phew. TOM: So what the hell is [voice suddenly becomes high] with your voices? You sound absolutely ridiculous! I mean your voices are so stupid now, tha-.......... Hey! Wait! MIKE: [High voice] Heh. Cool. TOM: Oh, shut up, Nelson. CROW: [High voice, singing] We represent the lollipop guild... TOM: Stop! CROW & MIKE: [Singing] The lollipop guild... TOM: No! ALL BUT TOM: [Singing] The lollipop guild! Weeeee represent the lollipop guillllllllllllllld... TOM: SHUT UP! MIKE: Oh, alright. MIGHTY: Jeez, what a grouch. MIKE: Hey, uh, Knucksy? You do realize that you may have used too much, haven't you? KNUCKLES: How so... mon? MIKE: Well, there's obviously a leak somewhere. KNUCKLES: Yeah? MIKE: And, well, you're in space. KNUCKLES: WHAT? MIKE: And, well, you're in space. KNUCKLES: WHAT????!!! MIKE: And, well, you're in space. KNUCKLES: Oh no! MIGHTY: Space is a vacuum! A vacuum! CROW: So?! MIGHTY: If stay outside in space, we'll bl- [All spontaneously combust. Odd pause.] [Commercials]