"The Cloaked Figure" part three of three. MiST fact #32: Four signs of fanfic doom apparent to the trained MiSTer are (1)self-insertion, (2)crossovers, and (3)Too-Much-Power syndrome. "X" MiSTed by Kelly Newcomb(the first MiST I've ever read) has both 1 and 3, so watch out for all three. If you find something like that, EMAIL ME! Warning: This part may have missing segments. I had to run Scandisk to even be able to load this. I will remove this notice if I update it on WS#9 with everything there. > Sounds creepy, So when do we go in? Sonic wondered > First light...Hopefully they will have eaten by then of they will be watching us. > Mary said All: Huh? > Everyone said their good-nights and went to sleep. Tom: They must've had a little too much Ny-Quil. > Uncle Chuck showed some excellent tracking skills that no on, not even Sonic, knew he > had. It was getting dark and they had settled down for the night. Joel: Jeez, must be Las Vegas. Can you say "quickie marriage?" > Uncle Chuck said to > Tails, Thank you for coming with me Tails. Well get some sleep we will be walking > a long time tomorrow. Crow: No, not the "Fun" Run! > Sure I could use some, good-night. Tails yawned and fell a sleep. Joel: Gosh! That was quick! > Uncle Chuck > whispered silently to himself Tom, as Chuck whispering: Rudolph, Blitzen, Donner, Cupid, Dancer, Prancer... > Brother keep Sonic and my grandnephew safe. For he knew where they could be now, > Where Dead Bones Tell no Tales, and he barley made it out with his life. Crow: I'm not gonna touch that "barley..." Tom: What, you don't like *corny* jokes? (snickers) Crow, Joel: D'oh! > Dawn had approached Tom: On little catfeet... > quickly Mary was not kidding when she meant first light. > They where all out and ready to go by late morning. They started into the woods. Crow, as Mary: (konk!) Whoops! > They could hear scratching, some squealing Tom: Oh, it's a Backstreet Boys fan prep rally. > and the faint sound of bones rattling. > Mary knew the rats had not eaten and were watching them, just waiting to pounce. Crow: Just like my cat at 3 in the morning. > Halfway through they heard singing Joel: Uh-oh. We gotta hit the deck! It's that "Blood and Metal" fic that Dr. F showed me once! > " Shiver my timbers, Shiver my spine. Live ones > walk where dead ones lie. Shiver my timbers, Shiver my Soul Dead animals tell no > tale!" Then there was a large gun shot. Crow: Its brother, Small Gun Shot, prefers to be called Diminutive Gun Shot. > All of them seemed transfixed neither of > them could move or speak. Then all these hideous rats came down on ropes with bones > on there bodies. Tom, as an old Minnesotan lady: I think this is that grunge look we hear about when we talk about Seattle. Crow, following suit: I think that's over, Iris. > There where some still had rotting flesh on them. The rats began > to close in a circle ready to kill them. Crow: Now join hands... Jason, Stephanie will *not* bite you, just take her hand... > Sonic could see the mad glow in there eyes, > but was not afraid. Tom, as Ben Stein: Clear Eyes. > Just as they thought that they where goners there was a twang of a > bow and seven of the rats on the left fell dead All: What?! *How?!* > an arrow through there unprotected > underbellies. Joel: This is like one of those Homer Simpson-type guys that wear short shirts. > There was a hiss from the leftover rats and they turned to see who had > killed there comrades. When they saw who it was they chattered as if cursing them. Crow: Gadianton robbers and murderers! You should be ashamed of yourselves! > Then they turned and ran in fear. A red rabbit and a white mouse came over to the > travelers. They splashed water on there faces to get them out of the trance. Tom: Rutabagas...Rutabagas...I command, you obey... > Nasty beasts wot, wot? All: Huh?! > the rabbit said I do say are you chaps o.k? Joel, in a geeky voice: Yeah, but something is gonna come up. I can feel it. > Yeah we are fine, who are you? Sonic wondered > Before they could answer Mary came running up Bruno! Snowy! It is me, Mary! Mary > shouted > Oh, Mary you're back! Snowy said We thought we would never see you again! Tom, as "Snowy": Not since you left a week ago! > Is > little Amy with you? Her mum and dad have been worried sick and before I forget > you're plan worked we got the king and queen out safely. Joel: Oh, wow! > Yo, I'm sorry to break up this happy reunion but we better get out of this forest > before those things come to their senses. Sonic told them > I like the way you think ole' chap. Bruno said Crow: And thus, a solid, unshakeable friendship is born. > Why, thanks you are not so bad you're self. Sonic replied > A short while later when they where clear of the forest, Bruno stopped. Tom, as Bruno: Oh, pootertoots! I forgot the Doomsday Machine! > I say ole' chaps I do think we are clear of the forest what not. Joel: What? Crow: Not answering that. Tom: The two-person play on words has been perfected. Thank you for your cooperation. > We are sorry for our manners we have not been formerly introduced I am Snowy Hilltop a > nurse for all the ones who have been hurt in battle and my friend over there is Bruno > Bunny, expert tracker and footfighter. Tom: So he's a thief? Joel: No, that's "footpad." > Nice to meet ya, The name is Sonic the Hedgehog and this is my son Scooter. > Hello. Scooter replied. Crow: So Scooter's replying to his father...thank you, Meghan! > We best make camp tonight. Tomorrow we will be in Red's territory and it is best to > sneak in at daylight after they have all have had there rum and beer. Joel: I *told* you guys that they were with the wrong crowd. > Mary said > They made camp after all the kids where asleep Sonic and the rest went on talking > about the war and other things. Sonic got up and went over to Mary. Crow, as Sonic, whispering: Hey, Mary! Got any reefers? > Can I talk to you please...alone. he said > Mary said nothing and went with him. > Do they know? Sonic asked Tom, as Sonic: I really don't want them to know that I > Mary nodded and replied every one here knows and they don't care. Mary once again > pulled off her hood. Crow, as Mary: Yep, just your usual '57 hot rod. > One other thing who is Red? Sonic asked > A very big and fierce red tiger. I can tell you one thing this is not the first time > he has attacked Southwards. All though last time he did not get so far. I think the > village he attacked was......Mary started. Joel, as Sonic: Riverdale?! > Riverside. Sonic said with a red glint in his eye. All, as Mary: You are one spooky mama jama. > Uh, yeah how did you know Mary wondered. > Red killed my dad, Sonic said Tom, as Mary: Uhh...so, seen any good movies lately? Crow, as Sonic, darkly: No. We don't have movies. Tom, as Mary: Oops, hehe... > I'm sorry maybe I should not have talked about it. Mary stated > Nah, at least some good came out of it. Sonic said Come on let's get back ta Bruno and > Snowy. > When they got back, Bruno and Snowy had already gone to sleep. Joel: Yet again, there's drugs. What is *with* this fanfic?! > I think we should take there advice, Sonic. Mary remarked > Sure, good-night. Sonic said [Everyone feigns sleeping.] > What is this place, Uncle Chuck? Tails asked It is so dreary. > I don't think you want to know. Crow, sleeptalking: ...but you'll find out in health class... > he replied, remembering the fist time he had seen it > himself. > Uncle Chuck and Tails stood there for a few minutes looking into what seemed a black > hole and not a forest. Just then two squirrels ran by them and in to the forest. > No wait don't go in there! Tom, sleeptalking: ...they were dispatched by the mobsters within... > Uncle Chuck shouted but it was to late the young squirrels > ran in. Joel, sleeptalking: ...into what...? > Still in viewing range Tails and Uncle Chuck saw something that they will never in all > their lives forget. Rats came down by the tons eating, clawing and chewing Crow, sleeptalking: ...this must be the Frugal Gourmet... > at the > squirrels when they where done nothing remained but bones. All: Whoa! Tom: That was savage! They should at least floss! > Come on we have to keep going. Uncle Chuck whispered > There going through the woods was a lot easier than Sonic and his party had faced. Tom: That's because they didn't feel the blindfold around their eyes was necessary. > They were actually very lucky that those squirrels had come or that could have been > them. > Halt who goes there, mates. A large black rat said Joel: "Uh, nobody...just little dust balls. Yeah, just little dust balls." > I do and don't call me mate, scum. Sero told them steeping out of the shadows. Crow: "Steeping?" Tom: You know, like "meeses." Crow: Ah. > Aye, it's that little hedgepig' that got us in trouble with Red, Scumtooth. > That it is mate, let's teach him not ta mess with us. Tom: Lesson 1: torture, murders, death, and killings the fun way! > Scumtooth replied coming > towards Sero. > Then Sonic stepped out of the shadows, both of the rats squealed in fear. [All snicker] Tom, in a high falsetto: I can't wait to try this stew! > How...How can you be alive, we killed ye. Scumtooth stammered > Yeh, we threw you in that ditch. Joel: Just like what should be done with Manos! And Being From Another Planet! > What are you talking about I have never seen you before... Sonic started then Mary > whispered to him Play along, they are very superstitious. Crow: They eat a few rabbit's feet a day. > Sonic took a step towards them they turned and ran. > That was easy, but what did they mean how can I be alive? Sonic questioned. > I dunno, Sonic. Mary said. Tom: Good, Mary isn't an avatar, which means nobody is. Joel: How do you get that? Tom: Well, avatars are defined by three irrefutable laws: (1) They are always in the spotlight. Mary is, so she has one requirement so far. (2) They must have at least 40% resemblance to the author. Nick has made it clear to me that the author is *not* like Mary, so she fails one requirement. (3) The avatar is always all-powerful and all-knowing. Wrong again. Joel: Okay, now I see. > What do you mean you saw a ghost? Red shouted at the two rats. > We..We did. We saw that hedgehog you killed. One of the rats told Red. > How may times do I have to tell ye there is no such things as ghosts! Red continued > to yell. Crow, as Red: And quit using my brush! > But...but, we did. Scumtooth replied > Enough! Red screamed running a sword through the two rats Joel: This dude is management material! > And if I hear any one else > say one thing about a ghost they get the same! > Sir.. a small red fox said That cloaked hedgehog, slayed ten of our troops, took some > more weapons and supplies. Tom: Previously, on "The Cloaked Figure." > Oh, Mange what do your visions say about this? Red questioned his seer who was a fox. > I am sorry my lord but, my visions are still blurred by that hedgehog you slayed years > ago. Crow: Must have had the wrong contacts. > Incompetence! That is what I am surrounded by incompetence! Red shouted All of you > back to your post keep an eye out for the new comers. Joel: Don't worry, guys, this isn't a "The Newcomer" wrapup. 'Bots: Good. > Come on sonic, this way. Mary shouted > How much farther I hate going this slow. Sonic complained Tom: Whiny Man to the rescue! > Run ahead if you want just keep going straight. Mary said Don't worry we will catch > up. > Sonic started to run straight as Mary had told him but was stopped by some one, a Crow: ...ranger named "Grant Hilthco," looking into the sky. > hedgehog his size wearing a cloak and carrying a stave. All sonic could see was his > eyes. > Sonic thought, oh no not another clone of me. Tom, as a director: Mr. Avatar, what are you doing here? You should be on the set of "Blood & Metal." Or "The Newcomer." Or pretty much every other Sonic fanfic. > Sorry bud, but I have ta pass. he said > Sez who? the figure said and judging by the tone of his voice sonic guessed that he > was as old as his uncle. Joel: *cough*Clue!*cough* > Sonic the Hedgehog that's who. he exclaimed > Sonic...The figure's eyes started to change and pulled of his hood. Crow: So now, there's two cloaked figures. Tom: Which means they have a spare. > Sonic stared at what seemed to be himself. Crow, as Sonic: Man, I look *really* stupid with that haircut. > The color was a bit lighter, and this > hedgehog also had bushy eyebrows like his uncle. Tom: Never mind. > He also had a scar running down his > eye and his top quill was cut. Joel: Shouldn't have had his hair cut by "Tommy Hawk." > It's me, Jonathan you're father. he stated > No way my dad was killed by Red. Sonic said. > I can prove it to you. Jonathan started > O.k. Tom: Who's talking? Crow: It must be Meghan. > Jonathan pulled a locket out of his pocket and threw it to Sonic. Joel: Sonic was bowled over by the locket, because the perspective was wrong. It required two megatons of upward force to lift it. > Sonic caught it and > opened it. Inside was a picture of him and his mom and dad. Sonic shut the locket and > looked at Jonathan and said Dad is it really you. All: Awww... > He nodded > Sonic ran up to him tears rolling down his eyes and hugged him so hard that it could > have killed him. Tom: (*crunch*) Wherps! > I have missed you. Sonic said > I have missed you too, Sonic. Jonathan replied > How come you are alive? I mean, I thought Red killed you? Sonic asked > He did. Jonathan remarked Crow, as Jonathan: I am dead. Wanna talk to Hades? > I don't understand how could he kill you and still be alive? > Well after he had run about thirty knives through me, All: Hunh? > he threw me in a ditch, All: Hunh?! > where > for some reason I remained alive. All: Hunh!?!? > Maybe about two days later Mary found me and took me > in till I was well. All: Oh... > Then we formed a group to fight Red. We have been planning a big > plan to kill him off, and that plan, my son, is going on tonight. Tom, as Jonathan: Actually, we'll follow Dave Barry's example: Put Red outside in Miami and let the passing motorists shoot him. > Mary saved you're life didn't she? Sonic asked > Yes Jonathan replied > I will have to thank her for that. Sonic wondered Crow: "Wondered?" > See Jonathan I told you I would bring you're son back, and I also have another > surprise I have you're grandson too. Mary said > Man, I guess I really haven't seen you in a while. Jonathan laughed. Joel, as Sonic: Well, yeah, I barely know you. > Dad this is my son Scooter, Sarah is back at home. Sonic told his dad > Hello. Scooter replied Tom: Yet again, Scooter replies to Sonic. > Jonathan rubbed his head and Said I guess I can ask who you married later right know Crow, as Jonathan: But first I need you to taste this (high falsetto) wonderful stew! > how's about helping me deal with red. > You bet. Sonic replied > Come all of you I will take you to Amberwind, and as for you Amy I think you're > parents will be happy to see you. > Yippee! Amy shouted Joel, as Jonathan: Jeez, what a loser! > Scooter, come with me I will show you where I live. Sero whispered Crow: The bar? Joel: Ooh, that was mean. > Scooter and Sero turned away from the others. They soon approached a door along side a > hill Scooter guessed that was Sero's home. He lead Scooter in an stopped at a small > trunk. Tom, as Sero: Now, throw yourself at this as hard as you can. Then I'll ridicule you. > Don't you live with you're mom? Scooter questioned > She's not my mom, this is a picture of my mom. Sero said showing Scooter a picture. Joel, as Sero: Now, this is a screenshot of when I fragged that sniper with the spy's knife... > The picture Scooter guessed was very old. It showed Sero, his dad who was a black > fox, and a his mom who was hedgehog emerald green in color, it also had a picture of a > human on it. > Then why do you call Mary your mom? He wondered Crow, as Sero: To negate all of the "your mother..." jokes. > She was a dear family friend, so close to our family that my mom called her a > secondary mother. Red, like he did with most family's, killed my mother and > Slashthroat killed my father, All: Boo! > so Mary took me in but, I prefer to live on my own when > I can. Here take this. > He handed Scooter a Bow and arrow. Tom, as Sero: No, I believe you point the bow *away* from your face. > Hey, I learned how to shoot one of these things at the palace.... He looked at bow and > at Sero and said I can't accept it. > Go on, take it you will need some type of weapon in battle. Sero stated. Joel, jokingly: You are, after all, one of the most useless characters in a battle. > In battle! Ya mean... Scooter's voice trailed off and nodded his head. What are you > gonna use? > Sero pointed to his dagger and replied It is much better than a sword, besides it was > my dad's. Crow: Sero, charter member of the Murder Death Kill clan. > Come on let's get back, it is getting dark and the battle for Southwards is going to > start. > Slashthroat Red's top commander fox came into Reds chambers and said Sire, We > have found out the identity of the cloaked hedgehog. Joel, whiningly, as Slashthroat: And we're out of toothpaste! > Ah, yes do tell me. Red sneered. > He is the rebel hedgehog you killed years ago. Jonathan. Slashthroat marked. > I wonder.. Red said thinking. Crow, as Red: ...if you could combine tuna and honey-baked ham to make a wonderful sandwich... > Sire, there is more he has a son and Mary the other rebel Tom: There's only *two* rebels?! > has brought him here. > Slashthroat replied > So it has begun. This is the final battle, Slashthroat go out and rally the troops > also send a message to that cursed hedgehog. Red remarked. > Yes, master. Slashthroat bowed Crow, as Slashthroat: Sorry, I forgot to do pushups in P.E. today. > And Slashthroat if you do a good job there might be a very good reward in store for > you. Joel, as Slashthroat: Free admission to the disco...you *shouldn't have,* sir! > Slashthroat gave a sly smile and went to do his task. Maybe Slashthroat thought he'll > let me kill of that little Sero as my revenge. Slashthroat touched a scar that ran > down his ear and neck. Tom: ...promptly opening it. The end. Joel: Feeling a little dark now, Tom? Tom: Quiet, you! > Looks like we have lost the element of surprise. Jonathan said. > Yeh, but now it won't be so easy. Mary replied. Crow, as Mary: We have to go on pogo sticks. > Hummm.. Sonic said while looking down at some maps > What are you looking at? Jonathan asked Sonic Tom, as a dumb-sounding Sonic: Yeah, but it's not on the menu--oh. > These maps...what if we where to schedule a place fer Red to meet us? A place where > we would have the advantage. Sonic stated Joel, as Mushu: While you're at it, why don't you ask them for some potpourri because we ran out? *Hello!* This is the war, man! > Jonathan looked down at the map his son was looking at. It was a place where a forest > ended and a meadow began. Yes I see. Mary can you get a replied message to Red. > Sure can. Mary remarked. Crow, as Mary: Let's see...majordomo@wtower.com... > As soon as Mary had left Twin T walked in telling them that he had found some > travelers and that they wanted to speak with you. > Who are they, Twin T? Jonathan wondered. Gypsy, offscreen: Richard Basehart and Richard Basehart? Joel: No, Gypsy, I'm afraid not. > One's name is Tails and the other is Charles. Twin T said > Chuck? Jonathan said surprised > Let them in T, They're friends. Sonic said Tom, as Sonic: If you love something, let it in. > As soon as Uncle Chuck walked in and saw Jonathan, he could not believe it. After a > few seconds Jonathan gave his brother a hearty hug and started to talk for a few > minutes while Tails talked with Sonic. Crow, as Tails: Who's *that* guy with the weird face? Tom, as Sonic: That's my dad. > Who is that? Tails questioned pointing to Jonathan. > That's my dad ,big guy. Sonic said smiling > Cool I am going to have a talk with that brown two tailed fox...um what is his name? All, at once: Bob. [They share glances.] > Tails asked > Twin T. Joel: Yai! It looks like our MiSTer fell onto the "delete" key again! > Cool, I'm out of here. > With a few hours delay, they were ready to go. There plan was sure-fire. Tom: ...to fail. Joel: Still feeling a little dark? Tom: Yes. > Red was out in the field waiting, then he heard something. Only one sound compared to > what he was hearing it was the sound of whizzing arrows, Joel: Looks like it's "Operation Double 007" all over again. > but before he could tell his > front line troops to move they fell dead. Crow: All two of them. > Troops! Rally to me! Red said. Slashthroat take every archer you have and put then up > on the front line and I mean every good archer. Joel: I think archers with good self-esteem are equally important. > Soon it looked more like a shower of arrows than a fight, but for many months this > went on All: *Months?!* > neither side thinking of what to do next. > This is not working. Sonic said. We have to get down into the meadow. > A badger came up to him and said, Sonic there is a passage that we can use, it leads > way behind Reds army. > Thanks, any suggestions? Sonic replied Crow, as a random Southwardian: Uh, use the passage? > If we keep up the arrows it could provide a distraction. Mary suggested > No, we are almost out of arrows. Sero said > What if Tails and Twin T where to fly higher than the arrows and just throw rocks down > at them. Scooter wondered Tom: Scooter sounds like one of the kids from any given Gamera movie! Crow: Itch-y! Kenn-y! Scoo-ter! > Hey that might just work! Sonic said Good thinkin'. Sonic remarked > Hey Tails! Twin T! Come ere'. Sonic yelled > As soon as they got there Sonic explained the plan. Joel, as Sonic: Okay, fly and throw rocks. 'Bots, as Tails and Twin T: Okay, boss. > The both agreed to it. They where > both carrying a sack of large rocks. It was tough going for them neither were used to > carrying so much weight on there backs. Tom: That's why I started weight training. > Are you ready Tails? Twin T shouted. > Bombs away! Tails yelled as he dumped the bag down. > What is going on? Red yelled as many of his troops were getting killed or > hurt by the rocks. Don't just stand there you pieces of slab. Shoot them! Crow: How'd Red get his name, anyway? Tom: He must have been *really* embarrassed as a baby. > Many of the archers shot into the air ,but none could hit Tails or Twin T. > Oh! Do I have to do every thing my self! Joel, as a bad guy: Yes, your Dehydratedness. > Red shouted as he grabbed an bow from a > near by rat. > Red shot two arrows in the air, it had hit Twin T in-between the shoulder blade and > one in the tail. Twin T was falling. 'Bots: C'mon, c'mon... Joel: You guys... > Just before he hit the ground Tails was able to > grab him by his one good arm. > Hold on T, we are almost there. Tails sobbed. > Sonic saw them coming and yelled Snow, get over here quick Twin T is down! Crow, as a sports announcer: No, wait! He's up and going for the touchdown! > Tails lad Twin T down so Snowy could examine him. > He is going to be fine all he needs is some rest. Snowy said Tom: But he's got a few arrows in his body...? > Hey Tails....Sonic started but found Tails was not besides him. Where is Tails? Joel: You are Sonic. What would you do, if faced with this situation? > I saw him over by that big tree. a raccoon replied. > Sonic ran over to where the raccoon said Tails might be, Sonic found him by the tree > crying. > Hey big guy, Twin T is ok. Sonic told Tails. Crow, as Sonic: Some people might say he has split spinal columns, but... > Yeh I know. Tails said. > Well then why are you crying? Tom, as Tails: I just discovered how absurd the idea of talking animals is! > Ya know when we were fighting Robotnik and you guys always said I was to young to go. > Yeh, So. > Now I know what it is like. Joel, as Sonic: Uh, Tails? Why are you answering your own questions? > Yo, Tails when you feel better maybe you should keep with the plan. Twin T would laugh > at ya seeing you mopping about like this. Joel: Okay, *no* janitor jokes. > Ya think so? > If I know Twin T. Crow, as Sonic: Which I don't, but still... > Thanks, Sonic. > No, prob let's get back. All, singing: ...To the good life! It's time I got back! It's time I got back!... > Hey Sonic, Tails come on Jonathan needs you to go into the tunnel with him > that rock fiasco sent Red crazy. a small fox said. See ya, Tails. Sonic yelled > See ya. Tails said lifting a bag 'o' rocks on his back. Tom: Why is there a smiley of a Goron's face in between "bag" and "rocks?" > Come on, Dad. Scooter said at the tunnel. > Wait a minute where do ya think you are going? Joel, as Scooter: My way or the highway. > With you. Me and Sero have a plan of our own. > Sonic tapped his foot on the ground thinking and replied Nope sorry, I don't want you > to get hurt. Crow: Uh-oh. Now the kids are all gonna hogtie him and snag on him and give him a power situp. > Scooter lowered his head and said, O.k. Grandpa is already in the tunnel. > Sonic sped in. There was a rustling in the bushes behind Scooter, So we going? Sero > asked > Yeh, come on. > A small piece of ground opened up not far from Reds army. Tom: It was having a clearance sale for the first few weeks...(chuckles) I kill me. > Looks like there is not many of them left, Sonic. Jonathan remarked. > Yeh I guess about forty out of the sixty he had. > Come on Charge! Jonathan said as they rushed out of the tunnel. Joel: Who's Charge? > Huh?!? Red said as he saw the enemy advancing on him. Don't just stand there you > dolts attack! Crow: I can smell physical comedy coming up. Joel: No, Crow, this isn't "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog." > As soon as the first sword met staff, the clouds rolled over and became a midnight > black. Tom: Oo, deep. > Rain started to pour in sheets, but neither side cared. Two small figures > rested in the background none other than Sero and Scooter but, they where not alone > they had recruited twenty animals. Joel: Twenty animals?! > Are you ready? Sero wondered > Yeh Let's move. > Charge!! The both screamed. Tom, as "the both": (pause) Retreat! > Both sides looked to see who was coming when Red saw the calvery. He sensed that the > jig was up, he was going to loose the war. He slayed the first animal in front of him > and began to run. Crow, as a bad guy: Look! There's our fearless lead...never mind. > Good job Scooter! Sonic yelled How come you never told us. > Surprise? > Sure am, come on lets get im'. All: Hunh? > Slashthroat looked around for Sero and yelled Come on out and fight you little coward! > Or are you just like you mother and father weak and helpless! Joel: I sense a war of "your mother..." jokes. > We will see who is the > chicken after I am through with you! Sero yelled. Sero's small dagger met > Slashthroat's sword. Each hoping the other would die slowly and painfully. Tom, as Ken from Fugitive Alien: No, you're the one who's gonna die! > A few seconds after the new army had arrived a mouse said Sonic Red is heading for the > cliffs! and pointed towards the cliffs. > Beyond the meadow not a far away stood jagged rocks that everyone called The Cliffs. Crow: It's part of their Wile E. Coyote honor project. > Sonic could just barely make out Reds shape but, his color was unmistakable. Not > bothering to tell any one, he started to run towards Red. Red looked over his > shoulder and saw him coming. Knowing he could not outrun him and being closest to the > cliffs he hid behind a rock. [All snicker] > When he heard Sonic coming he put his foot out which > tripped him. Crow: You should've believed me! There *is* physical comedy! Joel: No, Crow. This doesn't count. > Sonic went flying but, luckily stopped before a cliffs edge. His luck > ran out Joel, as Sonic's luck: I'm calling my agent! > when, Red ran over and grabbed Sonic's throat. Putting Sonic over the edge of > the cliff > Red sneered and said, Who will save you now, hedgehog. Tom, as Sonic: Uh, wait a minute. I gotta put on my good quills. > Red began to loosen his grip > on Sonic. Sonic looked down into what seemed to be an endless pit of nothing but > blackness. 'Bots: Do it! Do it! Do it! > Sonic thought to himself, there is no way am I'm going down by some stupid tiger. > As soon as Red let go of him Sonic grabbed his arm, catching Red off guard, and taking > him down with him. Tom, singing: Take me down...to the underground... > Arggh!! Red screamed as he and Sonic where falling, falling. Sonic looked around for > something to grab on to. Noticing he had fallen closer to the cliff and he grabbed on > to a ledge jutting out. Red kept falling down in to nothing and eventually hit the > bottom. Joel: Faculty meeting with Wile E. Coyote, huh? > Sonic mumbled to himself, Good riddance Crow: Oh, no! Not "It's Going To Be A Real Green Day!" > and started to climb the cliff. > When he got to the top his father was waiting. > Well.. he began. Where is Red ? Tom, as Sonic: Oh, he had to make a stop at Orange, but he had a run-in with the Blue Gang. > Down where he won't cause any more trouble. > That is good to hear. You know you did Southwards a great deal of service today. > It is not the first time. Joel, as Sonic: Remember, Dad? I had to do some community service after that murder. > Oh.. > I can tell ya later. > Look the sky has cleared. Jonathan said looking at the sky. When they got back > everyone of Red's army had been killed. Slashthroat had gotten his fight with Sero > but, had lost. Crow, as Nelson Muntz: Ha-ha! > Many of the freedom fighters where wounded but, none were severally hurt. Every one > had a round of cheers, for Sonic and others. Sonic was getting ready to go. This > time he would take his father back to meet Sally. Tom, as Sally: Hey, uh, do I have your blessing? Crow, as Jonathan: No. > Scooter was staying behind with > Sero. He and Amy had formed a relationship during the war and had decided to stay > with her as well. Still it took a few hours to convince Sonic. Joel: Convince him what? > Twin T had gotten a > bit better and had insisted on going back with Tails. Mary had also decided to stay in > Southwards till everything back at the palace could be set straight. Yes, now the > whole planet could be free of evil or can it? Crow: Gee, Meghan, I hadn't really thought about that. > Down at the bottom of the cliffs Reds body laid. Not moving. In awhile he > started to move his fingers. This meant only one thing Red was alive! All: Oh, no. Joel: Don't pull this on us, Dr. Forrester! > Red could > sense that he was going to need time to repair his body. One cruel thought was racing > through his twisted mind Tom: "Man, what did Sonic have last night? His breath *stinks!*" > " Find and kill Jonathan's entire family." "Find and Kill. > Find and Kill" > The End? All: We hope so! Tom, in an ominous voice: End. This is the end of the first tape. Crow: Let's a'roll. [6...5...4...3...2...1...bridge] Joel: Okay, this is our not-quite-so-traditional Ram Chip Fest. Tom and Crow each tell me a good thing and a bad thing about the fanfic in sequence. Whoever tells the last things gets the latest stash of ram chips. Tom, you wanna go first? Tom: Hmm...the good thing is that the author had a lot of good ideas. Joel: And the bad thing? Tom: Well, the fanfic was run through the AltaVista Translator...(chuckles) Joel: Hey! Comments like that will get you nowhere. Crow? Your good thing is...? Crow: Meghan was supportive of the German language. Joel: Go on. Crow: The bad thing is, she stretched the limits of hedgehog endurance through a test of thirty knives. Joel: Ooh. Tom? Tom: Okay, the good thing is, Mary wasn't an avatar. The bad thing is, Scooter is counted upon for almost anything. It reminds me of Gamera. Back to you, Crow. Crow: Good thing...hmm...Although it has a bunch of references to Sonic the Hedgehog fanfics that were probably not meant, it doesn't end up being a wrapup to *any* of them. Bad thing is, it has a bunch of references to Sonic the Hedgehog fanfics that were probably not meant. Brings back the pain. Tommy, it's your turn. Tom: Uh...I can't think of anything. Joel: And the Ram Chip Fest '99 Medal goes to...Crow T. Robot! The runner-up, in this case Tom Servo, has to go on a dangerous mission to Deep 13 to get Boris Lobachevsky to destroy the IESD. Tom: Oh, boo! [Joel shoves Tom into the "airlock." Deep 13. The Mads are not present, but Tom is. He notices a knock at the door.] Tom: Come in! [The cloaked figure follows suit.] Tom: By any chance, are you named Jonathan? CF, who suspiciously sounds like Torgo: No. Tom: Oh yeah. You're Boris. TV's Frank would *really* hate it if you destroyed this machine right here, okay? You'd better do it quickly, because I think Dr. F and Frank will find out sooner or later that you don't need special deodorant for the backs of your knees. CF: ThAnK yOu. ThE mAsTeR wIlL bE vErY pLeAsEd. [As the CF starts kicking the IESD, Tom wanders off. SoL] Tom: Man, that was easy. Except that Torgo-like guy was creepy. Brrr! Now, I suppose I should start babbling for the MiSTer's bizarre purpose of having the Mads come back a bit after I escape. (light flashes) Hmm, there they are now. [D13. Frank and Dr. F are astonished at the pile of rubble on the floor.] Frank: Man, we're gonna need *tons* of Lysol. Dr. F: Yeah...(throws a fit) Would you just push the button?! Frank: Yes sir, chief, Steve, gelatin dessert...whatever you prefer to be called, your evilness. (pushes the button) I've got a tip for aspiring MiSTers. *Don't* try to MiST a 60k fic when the few you've done before are about 10-20k. It ain't pretty. And it takes a while, too! No harm to the author was meant in any of J&tB's comments. I realize that I've said this before, but it's all in the purpose of fun(and I should probably protect myself, just in case...hehe...). Found an obscure riff? I admit I've done quite a few in this one... just email me, okay? Keep those letters rolling into alai23@hotmail.com. You'll be glad you did, and you'll find yourself a little bit more in tune with the Universal Oneness. Also, you can email me to help me with my technique in MiSTing. This is my first Joel MiST, so I guess I've been having a harder time. I'm used to Mike's sensibilities. This MiST is copyright Nick Clark 1999. The fanfic is copyright Meghan Dombrowski...uh, 1999. MST3k is copyright Best Brains Inc. 1999. Stinger: > Well after he had run about thirty knives through me, he threw me in a ditch, where > for some reason I remained alive.