[Back from Commercials] [Marco is the only one seen. He's drumming on the desk counter with his hands in no particular way. Suddenly, Rachel and Jake pop up.] MARCO: GAH! RACHEL: Heeeeeey, Marco! MARCO: Heeeeey, Rachel. What's goin' up? JAKE: Actually, we have a song that we made up. MARCO: So you wanna sing it? JAKE: Yep. Maestro, please. [Music to the tune of 'Yellow Submarine' plays in background] RACHEL: In the earth, there is a pool. A slimey pool. It's the Yeerk pool, to keep the yeerks. JAKE: Tom and Chapman rule the pool. The Yeerk pool. And they send us fanfictions. Evil fanfcis. MARCO: And so this is the Ani-MiSTing. ALL: We are in the Ani-MiSTing. Ani-MiSTing! Ani-MiSTing! We are in the Ani-MiSTing. Ani-MiSTing! [Big finale. Drum roll.] ALL: Ani-MiSTiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii- [Gasp] -iiiiiiiiing!! [Music stops abruptly.] MARCO: That'd be great for a theme song, y'know? JAKE: Kinda short. MARCO: True. Better than nothing. RACHEL: And a lot better than-- [Alarms] ALL: FANFIC SIIIIIGN! [All enter.] > >"WHY SO SOON, DIMITRI? AFRAID THAT HIS PATHETIC FRIENDS ARE GOING TO >INTERFERE WITH >YOUR PLANS." ARCHIMEDES SAID SMUGLY. > >"SHUT UP YOU . MARCO: [Enerjak, whiny] You big meany! > AS A MATTER OF FACT I'M HOPING THE CHAOTIX WILL TRY TO >RESCUE >HIM. IF >THEY DO I GET THEM AND KNUCKLES DIES. ITS QUITE SIMPLE REALLY." RACHEL: Dad always said to keep it simple. > >ENERJAK >WALKED OUT THE >DOOR. "I THINK I'LL GIVE MY NEPHEW A LAST VIST BEFORE HIS EXECUTION." > > > >KNUCKLES GLANCED OUT THE WINDOW OF HIS CELL. JAKE: And fell out. > HE WATCHED THE CROWD > >OUTSIDE . THE WHOLE DARK LEGION WAS GATHERED LISTENING TO KRAGOK GIVE >ONE OF HIS >STUPID SPEECHES ABOUT HOW THEY'VE ACHIEVED OF FINALLY GETTING RID OF >THE LINE OF >EDMUND. HE LOOKED AND SAW JULIE-SU STANDING NEXT TO KRAGOK ON THE >STAGE. HE FELT >BETRAYED, HURT, AND SCARED ON THE INSIDE. VECTOR WAS SO JAKE: Idiotic. RACHEL: Crazy. MARCO: Insane. > RIGHT ABOUT >HER. HE >COULDN'T >BELIVE THAT HE HAD HELPED HER GET SETTLED ON THE FLOATING ISLAND. >MIGHTY, >ESPIO, AND >CHARMY EVEN MARCO: -Liked string beans, the weirdos! > HUNG OUT AND SHOWED HER AROUND SO SHE WOULD'NT FEEL >LONELY. JAKE: They probably tripped all over the place trying to show off. > >AND THIS >IS HOW SHE REPAID THEM. > >A CLANK FROM THE DOOR OF HIS CELL AWOKE HIM FROM HIS REVERIE. HE >TURNED AND SAW >ENERJACK STANDING BEFORE HIM ALONG WITH > >TWO GUARDS. > >"NOW THEM RACHEL: What about them? MARCO: Leave them outta this, Enerjak! > MY DEAR NEPHEW, IT COMES DOWN TO YOUR FINAL CHOICE. EITHER >SUCCUMB >TO ME >, OR GO THROUGH WITH THE EXICUTION." JAKE: Changed the spelling. Make up your mind, 00dodger! > ENERJACK SMILED. > >KNUCKLES LOOKED AT THE GUARDS THEN AT ENERJACK. THEN HE HEARD THE >IMPATIENT >CRIES MARCO: Waaaaaah! >OF THE LEGION CALLING FOR THE GUARDS TO BRING HIM OUT. FOR A SPLIT >SECOND HE >REMEBERED >A LESSON HIS FATHER HAD TAUGHT HIM. HE COULD HEAR THE WORDS. JAKE: [Darth Vadar] Knuckles, I *am* your *father*... > >"IF IT SHOULD EVER HAPPEN MY SON, AND YOU ARE CAPTURED BY AN ENEMY, >NEVER >UNDER ANY >CIRCUMSTANCES GIVEN IN. EVEN IF IT MEANS THE COST OF YOUR VERY LIFE." > >"I'LL GO ON WITH IT." RACHEL: Um... does he mean he joined or he's gonna die? JAKE: Either way, it means this thing is almost over. > >ENERJACK HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE, AS IF HE EXPECTED TO CHOOSE >HIM OVER >EXICUTION. > >"ARE YOU SURE" ENERJAK ASKED AS IF HE WAS A CONCERNED PARENT. JAKE: [As if weeping] 00dodger keeps changing the spelling... > >OH I'M SURE ENERJACK, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO WOULD GIVE INTO YOU ARE >COWARDS LIKE >YOURSELF!" > >IN RESPONSE, ENERJAK GRABBED KNUCKLES BY THE ARM AND DRAGGED HIM DOWN >THE >HALLWAY. RACHEL: [Enerjak] You are going to your room, young man! > THEY CAME TO A ROOM THAT HAD A HUGE MONITOR AND A > >CATWALK EXTENDING FROM THE DOOR WAY TO THE WALL UNDER THE CATWALK WAS >A HUGE >TANK FULL OF WATER. AN UNDER WATER PROBE WAS WAITING ON THE SIDE TO BE >LOWERED IN >TO THE TANK. CARFULLY BALANCED ON THE RAILING WAS THE CAGE THAT >CONTAINED MARCO: Cheesey poofs. >ARCHIMEDES. A SMALL FLOATING CAMERA CAME UP AND HOVERED > >IN FRONT OF ENERJAK. > >"LOYAL SOLDIERS, YOU HAVE COME FAR IN BELIVING IN ME . NOW IT IS TIME >FOR >OUR REVENGE ON >EDMUND'S FAMILY TO BE COME PLETE JAKE: Stupid spacebar! I may weep openly... > WITH THE END OF THE GUARDIAN LINE. >TONIGHT >THE LAST >SON OF EDMUND WILL BE EXICUTED, LEAVING THE FLOATING ISLAND AND THE >CITY OF >ECIDNAOPOLIS TO US. AND WHEN THE GUARDIAN'S FRIENDS ARE FOUND THEY >WILL BE >DELT WITH >IN THE SAME WAY."ENERJAK SPOKE. > >OUTSIDE KNUCKLES HEARD THE SOUNDS OF CHEERING MARCO: I just hate it when people yell 'woo'. No one wants to hear anybody say 'woo', so why do they do it? > FOR THE LEGION. > >"PUT HIM IN." ENERJACK [Silence] RACHEL: Jake? Cuz? You okay? JAKE: I'm not making anymore comments on it, Rachel. > ORDERED. > >THE GAUARDS MARCO: [Sighs] > GRABBED KNUCKLES AND PUT HIM IN SIDE THE PROBE. THE DOOR >WAS >SHUT AND >THE PROBE WAS LOWARD INTO THE WATER. ENERJAK LOOKED ON A > >LITTLE MONITOR ON THE RAILING OF THE CATWALK. HE TUNED THE INTERCOM TO >THE > >PROBE'S P.A.SYSTEM. > >"HELLO KNUCKLES...." RACHEL: Hello, Mr. Walrus. MARCO: Good Morning, Mr. Phelps... JAKE: Huh? MARCO: I was bored, so I watched the FX channel one afternoon, okay?! > > > >KNUCKLES WATCHED AS THE MURKY WATER ENCLOSED ON HIM IN THE PROBE , > >UNTILL HE COULD'NT SEE THE LIGHT. JAKE: Head towards the light... > >'HELLO KNUCKLES, INCASE YOU WERE WONDERING. MARCO: Is that supposed to be a sentence? > THIS PROBE ONLY HAS 15 >MINUTES >OF AIR IN >IT.AND IT WILL RUN OUT. I'LL SEE YOU WHEN THEY BRING YOUR COLD DEAD >BODY OUT >LATER ON. >BYE, HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE LIFE....WHATS RACHEL: The Whats in Who-Ville? > LEFT OF IT. " KNUCKLES FELT >CUT. IT >WAS THE END FOR >HIM. HE DID'NT EVEN SAY GOOD BYE TO ACHIMEDES JAKE: Forget Archimedes, I like Achimedes! > WHO WAS THE ONLY THING >HE HAD >CLOSE TO >A MARCO: Granny. > FATHER. THEN THE AIR BEGAIN TO GROW THICK AND UNCONFORTABLE ...... > >ARCHIMEDES WATCHED ON THE MONITOR AS HE SAW HIS STUDENT BEGINNING TO >FEEL >FAINT. HE >WAITED FOR ENERJAK TO LOOK IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. SUMMONING HIS POWER >HE >TELEPATHICALLY SENT A MESSAGE . HOPEFULLY WOULD SEE THE S.O.S AND COME >TO >KNUCKLES >RESCUE....... RACHEL: I now call 00dodger 'Dotty'. > > > >ON THE ROOF TOPS ALL: [Singing] Clickety-click. Down the chimeny with ol' St. Nick! > OF THE CITY THE CHAOTIX SAW THE CEROMONY ENERJAK WAS > >HOLDING FOR KNUCKLES' EXECUTION. > >"OH MAN RED'S GONNA BE PUSHING UP DAISIES IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING.' >VECTOR >EXCLAIMED. > >"C'MON" ESPIO SAID AS HE RAN OFF...... > > > >SOME WHERE OF THE COST OF THE DOWNUNDA. A FEMALE DOG TYPED MADLY AT >HER > >COMPUTER . RACHEL: [Dog] I just _have_ to finish this remake of Knuckles #8!! > SHE WAS ABOUT 18. MARCO: Oh boy... > SUDDENLY SHE FELT HER HEAD THROB. SHE PUT >HER >HAND TO >HER FOREHEAD. SHE HEARD A TELEPATIC .SO.S. JAKE: Save Our Spellchecker. > "MARIANA, MAKE HASTE! WE >HAVE A >LIFE TO >SAVE!"......... MARCO: WAH! Self Insertion! > > > >KNUCKLES WAS IN AGONY. RACHEL: Agoneeeeee! > HE COULD BEARLY BREATHE. THE AIR HAD BECOME SO > >THICK. HIS VISION DIMMED EVER ONCE IN A WHILE , BUT HE WAS HAVING >TROUBLE > >STAYING CONSCIOUS. > >"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE ECHIDNA! JAKE: Aren't they all echidnas? MARCO: I can't tell anymore... > SUCCUMB TO ME OR DIE!" > >ENERJAK YELLED OVER THE P.A SYSTEM. ARCHIMEDES WATCHED AS KNUCKLES >STRUGGLED TO >STAND UP BUT WENT DOWN AGAIN. KNUCKLES BREATHING COULD BE HEARD OVER >THE >INTERCOM. HE LAID ON THE FLOOR GOING THROUGH THE FINALLY STAGES OF >DEATH. MARCO: -Singing 'How Dry I Am', reading this fanfiction, and dancing the Macarena. >SUDDENLY A >SHIVER WENT THROUGH HIS BODY AND HE WENT STILL. THE SMALL MEATER ON >THE MONITOR >READ: RACHEL: Caution: Does not work on Road Runners. > NO OXYGEN. > >"NO." ARCHIMEDES SAID. THEN HE HEARD A FEMALE VOICE SAY "HE'S >ALRIGHT." MARCO: [falsetto] He's just dead, that's all. > >JUST THEN, THE DOOR BROKE DOWN AND THE CHAOTIX > >STOOD THERE HOLDING GUNS. > >"SO THE CHAOTIX FINALLY SHOW THEIR FACES. TOO BAD BOYS, ALL: [Singing] Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? > YOUR TOO LATE, >YOUR >GUARDIAN >IS DEAD."ENERJAK SNARLED. A HORRIFIED LOOK CAME > >ACROSS THE CHAOTIX FACES. > >"GUARDS, SEIZE THEM !".......... > > > > > >TO BE COUNTIUED.......... JAKE: And... > > > > > > > JAKE: We're done! MARCO: Yay! Let's get outta here! RACHEL: Right-o! [All leave, cheering.] [Room] [All enter, still cheering, clapping each other on the back, etc.] JAKE: Yes! Done! We are finished with that sucker! MARCO: And there's more to come! JAKE: Yeah, and-- [Pause.] NOOOOO! RACHEL: Hey, Jake. We'll survive, Oh Mighty Leader. JAKE: [Sighs] True. We always do. What'd ya think, Yeerks? [Yeerk Pool] TOM: I'd say you wouldn't have a chance, Bro. There's still many more fanfics to come. CHAPMAN: They'll even give a tingle to Visser Three. [Room] JAKE: What's the next fanfic? [Yeerk Pool] CHAPMAN: Allow me to say this much: Next part of the remake! [Room] MARCO: Oh sh-- [Fade out] WRITER: Kaz00ie CO-WRITER: John Berry EDITORS: John Berry Cobalt da Kittiefox! POST-EDITING BY: Cap'n Bungie of No Tomorrow Productions STUFF KAZ00IE DOESN'T OWN: I don't own Animorphs, Sonic the Hedgehog, or even the idea of MST3K. Don't bother asking. APOLOGIES: 00dodger, if you're reading this, I laugh at you. No, just kidding. Seriously, I'm sorry that I asked to MiSTie this. I couldn't resist! I also apologize to the people who even read this un-MiSTied. Especially Jessy-Ni. Sorry. You can go away, now. I'm done.