[SOL] Crow and Servo are standing behind a miniature model of a ramp that curves up from the counter and ends pointing straight up. At the bottom of the ramp is a Tails action figure. SERVO: Now, I think Tails was attempting to get airborne by propelling himself straight up the ramp. CROW: But, wait, Servo, Sonic advises Tails to be careful, so there must be some apparent danger we're overlooking. Perhaps that, beyond the ramp, there is a large pit of crocodiles? SERVO: But Tails wouldn't need to worry about those, he can hover using his tails. CROW: Good point. [Mike enters.] MIKE: Hey, guys. Involved in a project, I see. SERVO: Mike, we're trying to figure out what the "vert ramp" that was mentioned in the story looks like. CROW: We've come up with this mock-up, but it doesn't completely fit the description. MIKE[disapproving]: Now, you two know that overanalyzing a fanfic can be dangerous. SERVO and CROW[shameful]: We know. MIKE: So why don't you go off and do something else that won't confuse your neruological pathways? CROW: Okay. Hey, let's play Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence! SERVO: Okay! [They scamper off.] MIKE[to Cambot]: They're growing up so fast. [Gypsy runs in from stage left] GYPSY: Mike! We have a problem! MIKE: What is it, Gypsy? GYPSY: This place isn't purple enough! [A lower section of Gypsy's hose rises from behind the counter, holding [somehow] a purple paintbrush. Gypsy starts painting the counter.] MIKE: Uh, Gypsy, what are you doing? GYPSY: Making things purple! Yay! MIKE: Gypsy-- *movie sign* MIKE: Wonderful. GYPSY: PURPLE! 6...5...4...3...2...1... >EXTREME CHAOS >PART 3 > > When we last saw Sonic and Tails they were traipsing through the desert. >As Eggman was ready to begin is master plan the Chaotix found themselves fighting >an onslaught of badniks. > MIKE: Exactly what are "niks," and how do the good "niks" become bad? SERVO: What was that you were telling us about not overanalyzing the fanfic? MIKE: Oh, right. >Knuckles: How many more of these guys? > >Espio: Oh, ya know the usual. About three hundred. > CROW[Knuckles]: Damn! Why don't I get paid by commission? >Charmy: I thought we destroyed all of Eggmans robots. > >Vector: I know dude. You think he's still alive? > >Knuckles: Impossible, I saw him get killed by Perfect Chaos. MIKE: No you didn't. > >Mighty: Then where could they be from? > >Knuckles: I don't know but I bet we can find our answers in the ruins of the >Launch Base zone. > > Back at the Sandopolis zone. > >Sonic: W-w-w-water. > >Tails: Q-q-q-quit c-c-complaining. >Sonic: W-w-w-were d-d-doomed. > >Tails: D-d-d-duh. SERVO: Wait, I missed something. Are they cold? MIKE: Maybe they're just being shaken really fast. CROW: They could have that Ray the Squirrel Speach Impediment. > > While in Eggman's ship. > >Eggman: Yes! I'm closing in on the Chao. It should only be another five >minutes now. > > Five minutes later. > >Eggman: Now lets have some fun! (Pulls back on lever and a mecha Sonic, mecha >Tails, and mecha Knuckles come out.) Ha! These are my realest looking versions >of robots I have ever made! MIKE: So...they're realistic robotic versions of robots? CROW: That's what the guy said. > > The mechas walk up to the altar. Thinking it is Knuckles the Chao act >friendly and make motions that they want to play. One Chao goes right up to >Knuckles and reaches his arm out for Knuckles to pick him up. Slowly Knuckles >reaches out his hand. Then BBBBOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! He blows it to Chao >heaven. SERVO: But how could you? They're so cute! [Mike and Crow look at Servo] SERVO: Well, they are! >Then the mechas start destroying the Chao. After a long bloody battle the >innocent Chao lay dead on the ground. There is a short silence. Suddenly the >Master Emerald shatters. Chaos stands there and looks at the Chao. CROW[Chaos, dumb]: Duh...hey, guys, get up! It's time for play! Guys? Duh... >He becomes filled with rage. Eggman quickly flies away in the Chao destroyer to >what he thinks is safety. MIKE: So Eggman didn't even use the Chao Destroyer to destroy the Chao. SERVO: That's right. MIKE: OK. I'm going to go soak my head in motor oil. SERVO: Sit down. > > >Eggman: (flying toward Launch base) Now, in a short few hours this Island will >be mine I just let Chaos do all the hard work and I get the benefits. > CROW: Eggman would make a really good employer. >Knuckles: Look its Eggman! > >Mighty: So, he did survive. > >Charmy: Let's get him! > >Eggman: What's this? Knuckles at the Launch Base? What's he doing here? >Damn him! I must direct him back to the Island or Chaos cannot destroy him. > SERVO: Why don't you just take out a laser riffle and pick him off? >Knuckles: He's turning! Let's go. > >Vector: Wait Knux my man! He's probable trying to get us away from his base >don't go! > >Eggman: Noo! They're not following what am I to do. MIKE: You notice how Eggman always goes for an elaborate scheme to try and destroy everybody? CROW: He'd probably have more success if he just mailed them a bomb or something. > > > Back in the Sandopolis zone. > > >Sonic: I think I'm going to die. > >Tails: I think I'm already there. > SERVO: Where? >Sonic: (sees rushing water) Hey were saved! > >Tails: No, it's probably a mirage. > >Sonic: mirage's don't mist man. SERVO: Huh? > >Tails: That waters coming really fast. > >Sonic: whoa! Really fast. Uh-oh. SERVO: Uh... MIKE: Let's go before Servo's head explodes. 1...2...3...4...5...6... [SOL] Gypsy is running around with the purple paint brush. GYPSY[sing-song]: Purple, purple! Purple, purple! MIKE: Guys, don't look now, but there's something wrong with Gypsy. SERVO: Ya think? CROW: Just leave her alone, Mike. You know how it is; she reads an article in "Good Housekeeping" that says the color purple has a phychological effect that makes you live longer, and she just goes overboard. She'll be fine in a couple of days. MIKE: Wait, how do you know all this? CROW: Uh... SERVO[mockingly]: You read "Good Housekeeping," don't you? CROW: Just a little... [Mike chuckles] SERVO: DON'T YOU??? CROW: All right, I do! I like to keep in good interior fashion, so what? [Mike and Servo laugh at Crow. Meanwhile, Gypsy has painted several purple streaks across the wall.] MIKE: We haven't gotten anywhere, guys. We still don't know how to deal with Gypsy. *commercial sign* MIKE: Great. We'll be right back. GYPSY[Running by and painting a streak across their backs]: And I'll be right *purple!* CROW: ...Okay, I'm going to go kill her. MIKE[stopping Crow]: No, you won't. CROW: Ah, nuts. [planet logo, commercials] [Mike and the 'Bots enter and take their seats] > > EXTREME CHAOS > part 4 CROW: ...of 50. SERVO: NOOOOO!!! CROW: Heh, heh. > > When we last left you Chaos was about to destory Angel Island. Can >Sonic and the Chaotix stop his terror? > >Sonic: Tails run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIKE: See Tails. See Tails run. Run, Tails, run. Sonic sees Tails run. >Tails: Way ahead of you man! > It was to late the water grabed Sonic and Tails and they went flying >down through the zone. > >Sonic: (muffled) Tails the only thing that could cause this flood is Chaos! SERVO: Or maybe God. But most likely Chaos. >We have to stop him!!!!! > >Tails: But what could have angeried him this time? > >Sonic: I don't know but I'd think the fat man is responsible. CROW: Of course he is. He's your ONLY VILLAIN. > > While at the Launch Base zone. > >Knuckles: uuuuummmmm do you guys hear that rumbleing in the backround? > >Mighty: I think so, why? > >Knuckles: Nevermind.... MIKE[chuckling]: Okay... > Wait, what's that? > >Charmy: It looks like a blue speck. > >Espio: Its coming closer. SERVO[Knuckles]: Oh, nevermind... > >Vector: Hey that is'nt a blue speck its Sonic! > >Mighty: I know but whats with the water? > >Knuckles: Could it be? > >Mighty: No way, I I I don't believe it. How, why? CROW[Mighty]: Help, my speech patterns are screwing up! > >Knuckles: I knew Eggman was up to no good. > >Charmy: Uuuhhh guys. > >Knuckles: Quiet Charmy > >Charmy: But, but, but > >Knuckles: I said SHUTUP you son of a ......WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!! > > As Knuckles and the Chaotix join Sonic and Tails on thier little river >trip. Could this be the end of Angel Island as we know it find out in the next >exciting installment of Extreme Chaos MIKE: Let's see... a sentence fragment, followed by a run-on sentence. SERVO: This story has all the elements of a "Sonic Fights Robotnik" sequel. MIKE: Well, it's over now, so let's get going. CROW: That's it? That's the whole story? We're just left hanging? It's like "The Neelix Claus" all over again! MIKE: And you're complaining? CROW: ...Oh. Right. Let's get out of here. 1...2...3...4...5...6... [SOL] The entire set is purple, with some purple draperies and ornaments lavishly decorating the bridge. MIKE: Um... SERVO: Gypsy? Where are you? What are you doing? [Gypsy enters painted completely purple and wearing purple regal garb, complete with queen's crown and staff.] GYPSY: You called? SERVO: On second thought, it's best not to ask. GYPSY: You may call me Princess Purple, ruler of the Satellite of Purple! MIKE: Uh, I'd hate to dethrone you, princess, but you've gotta get all this out of here... GYPSY: SILENCE! [All huddle together, startled.] GYPSY: You are not wearing purple! You must conform! Guards! [Two humans, painted purple, appear.] GYPSY: Take them to wardrobe! CROW: Mike, I'm scared. MIKE: It's going to be all right, Crow. GUARD 1: Come with me. [Grabs Servo and drags him off-stage] SERVO: No! Mike! Don't let them take meeee... [fades] MIKE: Servo! No! GYPSY: You will all soon belong to the Kingdom of Purple! [Guard 2 grabs Crow] CROW: Gypsy! Please! Why are you doing this? GYPSY: It is my solemn duty to make everything purple! MIKE: But why? [Trumpets sound] GYPSY: -Gasp!- It's the Queen of Purple! She approaches! [Gypsy and Guard 2 stand to salute.] MIKE: Uh... [Martha Stewart enters] MARTHA: Hello, Princess. How is the assimilation going? GYPSY: These nonbelievers are refusing to wear purple, Your Violetness. MARTHA: So! They do not believe that purple colors can prolong their lives. They must be punished! MIKE: Now, wait a minute! MARTHA: Yes, Pallid One? MIKE: This entire episode has been blown well beyond the proportions of a regular MiSTing. I mean, come on! Best Brains could never afford a cameo appearance by Martha Stewart! MARTHA: Quite true... maybe I have been too hasty in my plans for making the world wholey purple. I will have to find another show to introduce this lifesaving principle. GYPSY: Ooh, how about "48 Hours?" MARTHA: Perfect! Soon the world will live longer, thanks to me, the Queen of Purple! [Purple thunder roars outside] GYPSY: Ooh, nice touch. MARTHA: Thank you. Now, I must be off! Goodbye, Princess! May your wardrobe never fade in the wash! GYPSY: So long! MIKE: Uh, yeah. Bye. CROW: Live long and prosper! [Martha throws her cloak around herself and vanishes in a cliched puff of smoke.] MIKE: Okay, now... Gypsy? GYPSY: Yes, Mike? MIKE: Let's get this place cleaned up. GYPSY: Okey-dokey! CROW: Uh, Mike, we still have to get Servo... [Servo enters, half spray-painted purple] SERVO: Geez, Bruno here is one tough customer. CROW: Are you alright, Servo? SERVO: Oh, I'm fine. But maybe you should check on that guard. MIKE: What did you do to him? [Crow leaves to take a look] SERVO: Well, when someone is force-painting you, you've gotta defend yourself somehow... CROW[off-camera]: Holy crap! I didn't know a human leg could bend that way! MIKE: I think we're gonna be hearing from his lawyer about this... *Mads' sign* MIKE: Now what? Leave us alone! [Moon Zero Two] PEARL: Wow, I can't believe it! I almost got Nelson that time, Frank! FRANK: I know! Maybe at long last Steve's experiment is going to prove a success! PEARL: Perhaps the next fanfic will be even more painful than this! FRANK: Oh, goody! I'll go do an internet search for the latest Ratliff story! [Pearl holds Frank's arm] PEARL: Wait. That's not going to be good enough. FRANK[aghast]: It's not? PEARL: In order to break Mike's soul we need something... something... SINISTER. FRANK: You mean a story where nothing seems to make sense? PEARL: Yes. FRANK: Where everyone acts out of character? PEARL: Yes! FRANK: Where well-known celebrities make guest appearances and then get killed because one of the fan characters doesn't like them? PEARL: YES! Prepare yourself, Nelson! The worst is yet to come! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ha ha ha ha! Push it, Frank! FRANK: Righty-o, Mrs. F! [Frank noise] [FWOOSH!] [Maniacal laughter continues] [Mighty Science Theater] written by: Jim Whaley "Extreme Chaos" written by: ZLB142 material for short written by: Stephen Frey featuring: Mike Nelson: Michael J. Nelson Crow: Bill Corbett Tom Servo: Kevin Murphy Gypsy: Patrick Brantseg Magic Voice: Beez McKeever also featuring: Pearl Forrester: Mary Jo Pehl TV's Frank: Frank Conniff with: iMac voice: Mike Nelson guards: Paul Chaplin Patrick Brantseg and: Martha Stewart as herself All MST3K characters and situations are trademarks of Best Brains, Inc. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. No insults are intended to anyone refered to in this MiSTing. Any alteration or reproduction of this MiSTing without permission or credit is not appreciated. Please contact the author at the e-mail address provided below. based upon MST3K created by Joel Hodgson special thanks to: all present and former employees of Best Brains, Inc., wherever they may be Stephen Frey ZLB142 the authors of the First Amendment and last but not least, You, the reader This MiSTing is dedicated to anyone who loves to laugh. e-mail tjats@aol.com for comments, etc. c2000 by Jim Whaley >Sonic: Whoa!! Easy on the vert ramp Tails your gonna end up breaking something. a Mystery Usenet Theater 3000 production http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k ----------------- Recent and upcoming episodes of Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000: 308: Once A Teacher 401: Extreme Chaos 402: Sonic vs Mario 403: Flower's Quest 404: Here It Is! 405: What's Q, Pussycat? My MiSTings can be found easily on Web Site Number Nine, located at http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k or go to my web site, The MSTerminal; http://members.aol.com/tjats/tjats.html ----------------- On the next episode of Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000: --- > Sonic vs Mario --- >"I am a demon, I have possessed Knuckles the Echidna and I will never let him go!" MIKE[singing]: I'll never let him go... --- >They met Yoshi. Tails tail whipped him and he died >(Yoshi, not Tails!) MIKE: Uh... --- That's all next month on Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000! Please keep in mind I don't spoil the really funny stuff. Unlike most movies, I never put the best parts in my previews. A Mystery Usenet Theater 3000 production. For more details, visit http://members.aol.com/tjats/tjats.html