[The 'Bots enter the theater]

>  	"So now what?" I asked Geoff.

SERVO:  Now I accidentaly kill you.

>  	He didn't answer, because the king was talking again. "Until you've proven
>  yourself trustworthy, Mr. Snively, you shall have an escort with you. I
>  believe, since he seems to have taken a liking to you already, that Mr.
>  Geoffrey St. John will be the one."
>  	"What is he, my probation officer?" I was not thrilled with this news.
>  	"Consider it that way if you like," snapped the king. "But know that I 
>  voted for punishment, Mr. Snively, and had I a REAL court, they would not have 
>  fallen for your trickery."

CROW[Snively]:  Fools!  Every one of them!  Hahahahahaha!  Oops.

>  	Trickery. Bah. Made me sound like B'rer Rabbit. "Fine," I said. "As long as 
>  he doesn't join me in the shower or anything."
>  	"You'd like it too much," sneered Geoffrey.

ALL:  Augh!!!

>  	"That is all," said King Acorn. He banged the gavel. "Court is dismissed." 
>  He stood and swept out of the building, robes and tail dragging.

SERVO:  Collecting dust as he went.

>  	"So now what?" I questioned again.
>  	"Well, until you get a hut built," Geoff sounded disgusted, "You'll have to
>  stay in mine."

ALL:  Augh!!!

>  	I must've looked repulsed because he snarled, "I'm not thrilled about it
>  either, you little faggot."
>  	The word 'faggot' surprised me a little...just because I was wimpy didn't 
>  mean I was...that way.... The dumb prick. Just for fun, I added a lisp to my 
>  voice.
>  "Do we share the same bed, baby?"

ALL:  AUGH!!!

>   "Shut up," he growled. "An' get outta here. Go explore or somethin'."

CROW:  Wait a minute, where did that accent come from?

>  	The courtroom had emptied by that time, except for Bunnie and the two-
>  tailed fox. He was staring at me warily. Like I was going to rip off his
>  tails or something. 
>  I gave him my best 'I don't like kids, so get lost' glare, and he left.
>  	Bunnie smiled at me and this time I smiled back. Her foolish openness and
>  faith was so refreshing. 

SERVO:  And repetitive.

>  	"Oh Snively, Ah knew ya'll weren't a bad person," she said cheerfully. "Ya
>  want me ta show ya around?"
>  	I shook my head. "Thanks, but I'd like to be alone."
>  	She nodded and left. I found myself looking at her metallic limbs as she
>  walked off. I had always found it amusing how Robotnik ranted about her...
>  his 'unfinished business'...his roboticization working against him.

GYPSY:  Wait, Bunnie was Robotnik's unfinished business?
ALL:  AAAAUGHHH!!!

>  Well, I was going to become Nagus's 'unfinished business'. The old bastard 
>  was going to be sorry he left me alive.
>  	I strolled around the village for a while. It was smaller than I expected, 
>  but was still good sized.

SERVO:  How can a villiage be good-sized?
CROW:  It's like a ball of string having a good diameter.

>  I was pretty much alone, well, not really. There were
>  villagers everywhere, but they shunned me like I was a leper. Whether it was
>  fear or contempt, or just shyness, I found it a bit humorous.

GYPSY:  They're just scared of his swelled head.

>  	They had huts everywhere. A huge main garden. There was a large bare patch 
>  of ground around a group of trees, with punching bags hanging from the boughs. 
>  I figured it was their training grounds. That and the fact there were 
>  villagers pummeling the hell out of the bags. 

SERVO:  And Snively's "deductive powers" solve another mystery!

>  	There was the courtroom/meeting hall, a river nearby, and a smooth shiny 
>  pond.  
>  	I strode down to the pond's edge. There was a large log there, and from the
>  bare spot of ground right by it, I assumed it was a spot where somebody sat
>  often. 

CROW:  Yeah, it's called the Ring Lookout Guy's Spot.

>  	I sighed, feeling overly tired, and took a seat on the log. I had my head 
>  in my hands, staring down at my feet. I scuffed my boots around in the bare 
>  dirt, thinking I really ought to get some new clothes. Strutting around in my
>  Robotroplian uniform was just another reminder of what I had done.
>  	"How come yer way out here?"
>  	I looked up to see the fox-brat staring at me. He looked faintly accusing, 
>  so I frowned.

GYPSY[Snively]:  I am disappointed that you accuse me.

>  	"Maybe I want to be way out here," I replied.
>  	Now he frowned. "How come you don't have any hair?"

SERVO:  Hey, is this that red sweatshirted kid from "Mitchell?"

>  	The little brat. I wanted to smack him. "I'm too young, kid," I said
>  sarcastically. "The human species doesn't grow hair until they're older."
>  	"Really? No, you're lying. How can you be too young for hair?" he demanded.
>  "And besides, yer old."

CROW:  This kid is gonna be a great Just for Men salesman.

>  	"Well, you're a baby."
>  	He looked irritated. "Robotnik has hair. That dumb mustache. Yer just as 
>  old as he is."
>  	"It's rude to ask personal questions, kid." I glared at him. He sneered at 
>  me, but I ignored him to stare out over the pond.
>  	"In the courtroom...you...you said a naughty word." The kid was staring at 
>  me like I was some atrocity. "You said..."
>  	"Say it," I said.
>  	"No!" he said indignantly. "It's bad! I can't say that."
>  	"They say it. Sonic and Sally. All of the grown-ups, they say it."

SERVO:  What grown-ups?  Everyone in Knothole is a teenager!

>  	"They do not! They would never say that...that bad word!"
>  	"You think too highly of them. They're not as wonderful as you might think."
>  	"Be quiet, Snive-ly. You're just a bad person, that's why you have to make 
>  fun of everybody."
>  	"Think what you want. But someday, when they turn their backs on you, you'll
>  realize I was right."
>  	He frowned heavily, then looked out at the pond. "This is where we get..."

CROW:  ...some.

>  	"Some of our fish," broke in another voice. "I cook zee most magnique au
>  bleu."
>  	"That's fish," said the kid, trying to wow me with his knowledge of French. 

GYPSY:  So the same language existed on two different planets with two different
species?

>  I wasn't impressed...I already knew some of the language myself.
>  	"It's cooked in wine, and I get to eat it," the kid bragged. 

CROW[as Tails]:  Yup.  I get to eat fish.  Aren't I special?

>  	The new voice, which belonged to the French fox, laughed. "Oui, little 
>  Tails here, he gets rock-drunk."
>  	"Stone-drunk," I corrected.
>  	"Oui, that ees what I said." He turned to Tails. "Now be running along, mon
>  ami." The kid scurried off.
>  	The French fox drew out a sword and held it up near his face.

SERVO[as Antoine]:  Zo, you wanting zee piece of moi?

>  I eyed his
>  uniform...which was far heavier than mine, and wondered how he could wear it 
>  in this heat. Must stay around the pool most of the time...it was much cooler
>  here.
>  	"I am a highly-trained royal guard," he said. "Zo eef you wants zee 
>  training than be coming to me." He put away the sword and adopted a martial arts 
>  horse stance. "I can also be teaching you zee keeks an' punchs! Yaaaa!" He kicked 
>  so vigorously his boot flew off and landed in the pool.

GYPSY:  Antoine must have forgoten to tie his shoes.

>  	"Nice kick, mate. It's about time ya washed them stinky boots anyway," came 
>  a loud voice.
>  	Antoine fished the boot out with a long stick and glared at the newcomer.
>  "Chut! Go away! We are not wanting you around, n'est-ce pas?"

CROW:  Wha...?

>  	"Agreed," I said.
>  	"Stop talking that mumbo-jumbo," growled the skunk. He glared hard at 
>  Antoine. "Great job, 'Twan. Bringin' him down here."
>  	"I did not bring him, bete noir."
>  	"What's down here?" I demanded.
>  	"Nothing," said the skunk with faked nonchalance. He was a bad liar.

SERVO:  Geoffrey is so self-centered he's even dumber than Antoine.

>  	"Feh, zee skunk ees not only ugly, but stupeed as well."
>  	"You've been lookin' in a mirror too long. Keep seein' after-images of
>  yourself." Geoff laughed, but no one else did.
>  	Then the skunk grabbed my arm tightly and began to drag me from the pool.
>  	"Hey, I'm not a prisoner anymore," I said. "So get your hands off me."

GYPSY:  Great move, Geoff.  You just tipped off a secret to your buddy.

>  	He yanked my arm really hard. I couldn't help crying out as pain shot up
>  through my shoulders and upper ribs. Even worse was that he had me pressed 
>  up against his body. A faint musky scent clung to his fur.
>  	"I'll show ya yer room, roomie," he said. His tone scared me, but I think
>  that's what he was trying for.

SERVO:  Well, since they are mortal enemies...

>  	"Let go!" I snapped, yanking away. "You're fruity."

CROW:  I don't think that's quite the term for it...

>  	"Me fruity? Yer a frickin' fruit salad, Needlenose."
>  	"Needlenose!" I yelled. "How original, Mr. St. Dick! I've never heard that
>  before! Damn, you are just the cleverest son of a bitch I've ever known!"  

SERVO:  Wow!

>  	I couldn't help it. While my temper was nowhere like Robotnik's...I could
>  sometimes get fed up enough to scream. Like now. 
>  	"I've got some booze at my place," said the skunk. "That'll calm ya down."

GYPSY:  Or get you fired up...whatever.

>  	"Get me loaded and fuck me over, huh?"

ALL:  AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

>  My eyes widened at the thought of fighting him off. "I'll find a room with
>  someone else."
>  	"I'm supposed ta be yer escort, 'member?" Geoffrey was following me as I
>  walked back towards the village. I didn't like him behind me. He'd called me
>  faggot, but I was having the suspicions that the word was a description of
>  himself. King Acorn had probably assigned him to me on purpose...I see. I 
>  had gotten out of  being hung...Voila! My real execution was to be molested to
>  death by Geoffrey!

CROW:  Yes!  If everyone else in Knothole has to, then you do, too!

>  	I trudged around the heart of the village, and then saw the gleam of metal
>  from the main garden. The rabbit was working there.

SERVO:  Is Snively really bad with names?

>  	My shadow fell over her and she looked up.
>  	"Hey there, Freedom Fighta," she said.

GYPSY[as Bunnie]:  Mistah Totahly Innahcent Freedom Fighta!

>  	"Hello."
>  	"What's goin' on, hon?"
>  	I bit my lip. Damn. Now was not a time to be embarrassed...but what would 
>  she think? Probably that I loved her something...bah! 
>  	"Do you have room in your place?"
>  	"Fer ya?"
>  	"Yes." I shuffled my boots in the garden dirt and then turned away. "Sorry, 
>  I don't know why..."
>  	"Yeah, Ah got space," she said. 

SERVO[as Bunnie]:  My bed is king-size, ya know.

>  	"Great!" I couldn't help beaming. I looked over my shoulder and smirked. 
>  The skunk was standing at the edge of the garden.
>  	"Sorry, my man-loving friend, but I've already found a place." Geoff 
>  started scowling, probably angry that his hoped-for sex waif had gotten away.
>  How disgusting. 
>  	Eyeing him, I got the feeling he might be faking the whole thing, but it
>  didn't matter. I had Bunnie. A quick glance confirmed that she was still 
>  there, intent on her digging.
>  	She was just too sweet for her own good.

CROW[as Cartman]:  Sweet!

>
>
>
> 	"They're all goin' out ona mission tommorra." Bunnie was staring out the
>  window of her hut.
>  	I was on her couch, with the blankets pulled up to my chin. I wanted my
>  bathrobe that I slept in back at Robotropolis. It was soft as feathers and
>  faded to a cornflower blue. But I was still in my uniform. I was too
>  embarrassed to take up Bunnie's offer of a long nightgown. 

ALL:  Snively in a nightgown!!!???   AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

>  	A girl's nightgown, for God's sake? Even if it was just plain white, no 
>  frills or lace or flowers. And there was no way I was going to sleep in the nude.

ALL:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[fizz]

SERVO:  Uh...I think Gypsy shorted out her voice box.
CROW:  Maybe we shouldn't yell in disgust anymore.
SERVO:  Maybe this STUPID FANFIC SHOULDN'T MAKE US!!!

>  	Bunnie continued talking. "Ya could come with us if ya want...but Ah think
>  Geoff would be followin' ya around. 'E's comin'."

CROW:  Oh, no, not E!

>  	"Is Geoff..." I laughed nervously. "Is he...that way?"
>  	"What way?"

SERVO:  Sideways?

>  	"Umm...gay..."

SERVO:  I think it's pretty obvious.
CROW:  Snively's brilliant deductive system at work.

>  	"Gay? Well, Ah don't know. Don't think so. 'E's always aftah Sally-gal."
>  	"Sally-girl, eh?" I snorted. "Isn't he much older than her?"
>  	"Yes...Geoff...'e's like in 'is late twenties er somethin'."

ALL:  AAAA-oh, um... aaaaahh.

>  	I made a disapproving 'oh' sound. Robotnik always hated it. He said I 
>  sounded like a British snob. Piss on him. If I could deal with his screaming and
>  tantrums, then he could deal with a few moans and groans. Stupid fat asshole.

CROW[matter-of-fact]:  But asses don't have holes.  They have crevices.

>  I smiled a little...I wouldn't have to deal with lord of lard anymore. Good.
>  	"Ah mean...older men, but not that old...that's a..." She paused to count 
>  on her fingers, and my eyes were riveted.

GYPSY[talking in broken language]:  You have...beautiful fin-gers.
SERVO:  Hey, Gyps.  How are you?
GYPSY[broken]:  Repa--rs...commencing on...voice apara--us.
CROW:  His eyes are still rivited?  He's been like that since the flashback in
"The New Season!"
SERVO:  Crow, we don't do those puns any more.

>  The way her organic fingers touched 

CROW:  uh...

>  upon the metal ones...the softness and silkiness of her soft fur brushing against
>  the smooth metal. Warmth against cold. Animate against inanimate. Nature
>  against technology.

GYPSY[broken]:  This stor-y is just...a vehi-le for this po-em?

>  It sent a weird shiver that jumped the gaps between each one of my vertebrae. 

SERVO:  So, cyborgs turn him on?
CROW:  He should read cyborg action romances.

>  	"...It's a twelve year difference. If Geoff's twenty-eight. Ah think 'e is." 
>  	I barely heard her. Sweat was beading on my forehead, my breathing was
>  shallow. It felt like a fever had suddenly scorched me.

SERVO[as Snively]:  She's so hot, I never noticed...

>  	She didn't seem to notice. I guess I looked sickly no matter what...pale 
>  skin, tired eyes, no hair, a reed-thin body...I wasn't sick often, but I looked
>  it. Maybe it was just my mental anguish showing through. I heard a dry laugh in 
>  my head.

CROW[as laugh, sickly]:  Could you please get me some water?

>  	To answer one of her earlier questions, I said, "I think I'll stay here 
>  this time. I'm not sure I even want to go on missions."
>  	"Ya can't be as fragile as ya seem," she trilled. "But anyway, Ah'm goin'. 
>  So Ah've gotta get ta bed."

GYPSY[fixed]:  And don't even think of getting some.  I am equiped with Spaceballs:
The Virgin Alarm 3.0.

>  	She unbuckled her belt and then shrugged out of her purple jumpsuit.

CROW:  Now, wait.  If it's just for her upper body how come it's a jumpsuit?

>  She missed my shocked eyes because she turned away and wiggled into her bed. I
>  heard the sheets slide over her metal limbs, and I bit my lip hard. 
>  	God, was she developed. Sally had a nice figure, but Bunnie...was 
>  incredible.

SERVO:  My god.
CROW:  help

>  I felt like whimpering and didn't know why. Was it from helplessness or fear 
>  or what?
>  	I felt sweat sliding down my face, and a weird prickling of my skin.
>  	No way. She couldn't be making me...I saw the sheet draped over me rise up
>  just a tad in my general below-the belly lap area.

SERVO:  Oh my god we're reading a porn story oh my god!
CROW:  Even I don't wanna read this!
GYPSY:  This is an insult to women everywhere!

>  A quick glance over at
>  Bunnie. She was turned away from me and I heard soft snoring.
>  	She fell asleep fast. I was like that...half of the time. The other half I 
>  was insomniac. But I had never gotten much sleep anyway. Robotnik had me working
>  long hours. Plus overtime. And my only payment was the occasional "Very good,
>  Snively." Bah.

SERVO:  Whew, thank you for changing the subject back to "The Poor Tourtured Life of
Snively."

>  	My fists clenched unconsciously and I felt the ugly beast of rage crawling 
>  out of my mind-pit. I shoved him back in. Someday he would overpower me, and I
>  would lose him and then what? He was all that filled me. I'd be an empty 
>  spent shell without him.
>  	Anger...what a good nice thing. My momentary 'disturbance'...I glanced down 
>  at my lap to confirm...was gone. I laid my head down on the lumpy pillow.
>  	It turned out to be one of my fast-sleeping nights.
>  			
>  						**********
>  	
>  	"Ok! Keek!"

GYPSY:  Who are you callin' a keek?

>  Antoine kicked one of the punching bags. It swung wildly on the
>  chain. "You see? Eet ees all in zee keek."

GYPSY:  Oh, it was just the French guy.

>  	"All right." I was a bit hesitant. I kicked the bag tentatively.
>  	"Non non! Keek eet like eet ees bete noir!"

SERVO:  Betty Noir?  I *hate* Betty Noir!

>  	"Bete noir?"
>  	"Just pretend eet ees someone you hate."
>  	"All right." I imitated Antoine's kick. My foot hit the bag square and hard
>  and it started swinging and squeaking on the chain. A ripple of malicious
>  pleasure ripped through me. I could imagine Robotnik doubling over, a dent 
>  in the flab of his stomach. It was a nice thought and I smiled evilly.
>  	Antoine screeched suddenly and his fist flew out and struck me in the 
>  stomach.

CROW[as Antoine]:  You hurt the punching bag!  You will pay!

>  I felt my air forced out, my insides curl up and cry out, and my knees hit 
>  the ground. I gasped painfully for several minutes.
>  	Antoine helped me up. 
>  	"What did you do that for?" I felt like crying, and realized that I had 
>  been getting to like Antoine. He was a dork, an outcast, a butt of jokes and
>  rejection...we were alike. But now this.
>  	"Dat was for zat time you cooked zee escargot an' Crepe Suzettes all wrong.
>  Dat smile reminded me of dat time."

SERVO:  Oh, yeah.  The one moment that showed the world how stupid French Toast here
really is.

>  	I vaguely remembered that. I think I had been loaded or something that day.
>  Don't get me wrong. I'm not an alcoholic. I don't need it all the time, just
>  when the pain is too bad to cope with. It beats bloodying my fists by 
>  banging on the walls like Robotnik.
>  	"Well, I'm sorry about that." I coughed. "But you're much too sensitive. I
>  mean, you almost told all that day."
>  	"I could not help eet," growled Antoine. "All dat food ruin-ed!" he 
>  screeched and I winced, but this time he took his anger out on the bag. Good. I
>  didn't escape Robotnik and Nagus to get more beatings.

GYPSY:  But from a psycologist's point of view, he *wants* beatings.

>  	"I am sorry," apologized the fox. "I should not have done dat."
>  	I silently agreed, but accepted his apology.
>  
>  
>  	Later that day, I asked Bunnie where I could get some new clothes. 
>  	"Why wear any?" she jokingly said. Then she laughed. "Ya'd better ask,
>  Sally-gal. She'll get ya set up."

CROW:  Yeah.  She'll lend him her nighties and blouses and blue vests.

>  	So I headed for Sally's hurt, where I knocked on the door.

CROW[as Snively]:  Is this where it hurts?  [knock]
SERVO[as Sally]:  Yes, it hurts when you do that.

>  I heard  footsteps coming and I felt anxiety flutter through my stomach.
>  	I was looking down at my feet when the door opened. Sally's voice floated 
>  out.

GYPSY:  Sally's Hurt.  We make all aches and pains symetrical so it'll even you
out.  Can I help you?

>  	"Yes?"
>  	I looked up, feeling shy. Which was a bit unusual. Contrary to popular 
>  belief, I am not a shy person. But at this moment, with Sally's deep blue eyes
>  upon me, I felt nervous sweat dot my forehead.
>  	"Yes?" she repeated.
>  	"Uh...clothes," I said. 

CROW[as Snively]:  Take off...your clothes.

>  	She stared at me.
>  	"Clothes, I need new clothes."
>  	"What's wrong with those ones?" she demanded.

SERVO:  Well, he's been wearing the same ones since he bailed out of Nagotropolis
three days ago.

>  	"Well...wearing these is like walking around with a flag of Robotropolis."

GYPSY:  Not that it exists any more.

>  	She looked me over and my breathing got shallow just like the night before
>  when Bunnie had taken off her jumpsuit.  I guess it was the fact she was 
>  female and she was standing so close to me. I could feel the waves of... "woman-
>  ness",

CROW:  Okay, story.  You've proven to us Snively is not gay.  Can we move on?

>  I suppose you could call it...emanating off from her. It stuck me hard, and 
>  I realized how little I truly saw of women. Not that any would want me.
>  	"...available." I realized she had been speaking and I jumped.
>  	"What?"
>  	"Rotor. He might have some clothes available."
>  	"Rotor?"
>  	"Our inventor and mechanic." 
>  	I looked blank.
>  	"Um...the walrus...he's a bit...hefty."

SERVO[as Sally]:  He swallowed an entire tanker truck filled with explosives
to save us all and hasn't blown up yet.

>  	I recalled who the walrus was. "Um...I think his clothes would be too big."
>  	"Look...then adjust them to fit," she said, impatience in her voice. She 
>  gave me a dismissing smile and shut the door in my face.
>  	
>  					***********

GYPSY:  The number of stars over Snively's head after the afformentioned incident.

>  	I peered warily into the workshop and heard some crude off-key singing, and
>  saw the walrus tinkering with a robot.
>  	I felt a bit stupid, asking this fellow for clothes. I was about to tiptoe
>  away when he said, "Hey there...uh...what's up?"

CROW:  Duh, the ceiling?

>  	He was nervous, and that made me feel better. "I was wondering if you had 
>  any clothes I could have."
>  	"Yeah, but they'll be big."

SERVO:  Doesn't Rotor's apparel consist of a toolbelt?

>  	"That's fine." I knew how to sew...a little. Just mostly how to hem and
>  shorten and mend holes.
>  	He shrugged and went to a back room in the workshop. He came back with a 
>  few pairs of pants and shirts and handed them to me.
>  	I thanked him and left.
>  	
>  					***********
>  

CROW:  You know, part of me wishes Snively could have become an animal, because
then we wouldn't have to waste our time with this stupid subplot.

>  	"Ya sure you trust faggot-boy?"
>  	"Yes. And watch your mouth."

GYPSY:  We have to be nice to the little homosexu-I mean, human.

>  	Geoffrey and Sally were walking ahead of me.  My hand was enclosed in Sally's
>  because I couldn't see. They had me blindfolded as we left KnotHole.
>  	Sally didn't trust me enough obviously. When they removed the blindfold I 
>  saw we were standing on the outskirts of Nagotropolis. Though I knew we were 
>  going there, I still got a shock. I backed away.
>  	"Snively, you sure you can do it?" Sally asked, looking at me.
>  	I gulped a little. "Yes, of course."
>  	"Geoff will be with you," said Sally reassuringly, but I was not comforted. 

CROW[whining]:  But I don't *want* Geoff with me!  He keeps lifting that tail of
his!

>  I didn't WANT Geoff with me. The stinky ass had been tailing me the entire 
>  week and I was sick of it. But I nodded.
>  	"Ok, the plan," said Sally.
>  	I sighed a little. She'd already repeated the plan two times. Must think I'm
>  stupid or something.

SERVO:  Naw, it's just for exposition.

>  "Break into the top secret files, Snively. Uncle Chuck can't get into them, 
>  but you can." Her tone said 'you'd better'. "And then get out of there."

GYPSY:  What an extensive plan.  Any details?

>  She handed me a multi-disk and I shoved it into the pocket of my new outfit. It
>  was a cute little pilot-suit thing, with lots of pockets. It was a light gray
>  color.
>	"I'm going to be with Uncle Chuck. We're going to listen in on Nagus and
>  Robotnik. Good luck."
>  	She loped down the hillside and disappeared into the thick smog that hung 
>  like a curtain over the city. 
>  	Geoff whistled. "She's hot, ain't she?" He whirled to look at me. "Ain't 
>  she? I'd give my stripes ta get between those legs." He shoved me. "You are a fag,
>  aren't you? You can't tell me you don't want a piece of that."

SERVO:  Uh, I think he does.

>  	"You're old enough to be her father," I accused. "And so am I. So, no. I 
>  don't want a 'piece'."
>  	"So what? I'm NOT her pops."

CROW:  Well, yeah, but have you at least talked to him about this?

>  	I started down the hill. He followed, still blabbing about Sally. I was
>  convinced even more that he was the world's biggest pervert.  I tuned him 
>  out of my hearing and concentrated instead on making my way through the 
>  junkpiles that surrounded the city.
>  	When we had cleared the junk and were standing near the side of a sleek 
>  metal building, I turned to my unwanted escort.
>  	"Now..." I had to force the next words through my teeth, "...you have to 
>  stay close to me."

GYPSY:  He's making it sound like he doen't like it.
SERVO:  Aw, Snively.  You really want him, don't you?
CROW:  Uh, fellas?
GYPSY AND SERVO:  Yes?
CROW:  You're acting like me.

[Servo and Gypsy look at each other, scream, and run out of the theater.]

>  	"Gladly, li'l buddy." Geoff rested his hand on the top of my head. "Hey, 
>  yer the perfect height ta..."

CROW:  ...put da whammy on.

>  	I pulled away. "...to put a fist in your crotch, yes. You don't want to be
>  spotted, do you? No? Then shut up and follow me. Or stay behind. That's even
>  better."

CROW:  But you two are inseperable!  You know it in your hearts!

>  	I wasn't used to traveling the city via air ducts, but I made it to a room 
>  with a computer. It was one of my old labs.
>  	Geoff amused himself by looking around the lab, while I broke into the
>  computer system in record timing.
>  	"Snively," came Sally's voice through my headset. "How's it going?"
>  	"I just got into the system," I muttered.
>  	"All right. Charles and I are watching Robotnik and Nagus."
>  	As I typed I wondered how many times they'd spied on Robotnik and I. No 
>  wonder they always knew when to attack. When I got the city back...if I got the 
>  city back...I would create 'bots to patrol the air ducts.
>  "Here's a new file," I announced. "It's Nagus's, I assume."
>  	--Password:-- The screen blinked insistently. I typed in a few futile tries
>  like 'magic' and 'void', but none worked.
>  	--Open program: CODECRACKER.-I typed.

CROW:  But wouldn't he need a password to use the program?

>  	The program popped onto the screen and I set it into motion.	
>  	--First digit: locked.-  It was a three. The screen flashed with numbers.
>  	"What's goin' on?" demanded Geoff.
>  	"I opened one of the programs to crack codes. It'll get me into this file."
>  	"I thought passwords were words."

CROW:  Duhh...and I thought hummingbirds hummed.

>  Geoff was looking at the number three which was blinking in the upper left of
>  the screen.
>  	"Well," I began, hoping I could explain to St. Braindead, "You can enter in 
>  a password. For example, say I want to password a file. So I use the word
>  'retard'..., " I gave Geoff a pointed look, "...as my password."
>  	"I follow," he said.

CROW:  Oh, really?

>  	"Well, each password is assigned a number pattern. So, you could enter 
>  either the numbers or the word you chose to unlock the file. The word just
>  makes it easier to remember, because the number pattern can be twenty digits
>  long.  This program figures out the number pattern."

CROW[as Geoff]:  What's a digit?

>  	"How long will it take?" he demanded.
>  	"I don't know." I rubbed the back of my head, a nervous habit. "But there's 
>  a problem. The CODECRACKER program is easily detected while it's in use."
>  	--Second digit in place.-  A flashing eight appeared beside the three.
>  	Ten minutes passed and the third digit had been discovered. But there could 
>  be one more...or seventeen more.

CROW:  Gasp!  The tension!

>  	I didn't know what Robotnik was doing at the moment, but I was thankful he
>  wasn't very attentive to the computer. He was probably munching doughnuts 
>  and drinking coffee. Or walking around with the head of a dog. Nagus loved doing
>  those shapechanging tricks. I laughed.

CROW:  Yup, those darned funny shapechanging tricks.  I've gotta get more
Animorphs tapes.

>  	"What? Ya got the code?"  Geoff leaned over my shoulder to stare at the
>  screen. His hot breath was unpleasant on my neck and he smelled muskier than
>  ever. I wondered how often he bathed.

CROW:  Geoffrey?  Bathe?  That's a good one!

>  	"What's Robotnik doing?" I asked Sally via headset.
>  	"He's on the computer," she replied. I could hear an older voice talking to
>  her; Uncle Chuck, I assumed, and I thought I heard Nagus's raspy chuckle in 
>  the background.
>  	--Fourth digit in place.-
>  	Geoff banged the flat of his hand against my chair. The vibration tingled 
>  my spine.
>  	"Dammit, how long?"
>  	"I don't know."
>  	"Ya should know! You were always on these computers!" His fists clenched; I
>  cowered out of habit and whined.

CROW:  Geoffrey St. Jerk.

>  	"I never had to hack into the files! I always knew the passwords!"
>  	"That's because yer a traitor," growled the skunk, referring to the Acorn
>  Kingdom. I rolled my eyes.
>  	The coup of Mobotropolis was so long ago...back when I was young and had 
>  hair and was stupider than now...seventeen long years ago. 
>  	"Traitors are supposed ta hang, and ya got off easily, ya little faggot, 
>  just remember that. So don't mouth off."
>  	I couldn't recall mouthing off, as he put it. Impatience made him even more
>  bad-tempered than usual. Reminded me of Robotnik.	
>  	--Fifth digit in place.-The five digit chain blinked...38103...and then
>  blinked out. Replacing the CODECRACKER program was Nagus's file, open and 
>  ready to download.

CROW:  But shouldn't you have to put in a code to use the codecracker program?

>  	Geoff smirked in satisfaction and I inserted the multidisk. 
>  	--Download file to drive A:\.-
>  	The computer whined as information went from the hard drive to the 
>  multidisk. A bar appeared on the screen, an indicator of how long it would take to
>  download.
>  	Static crackled in my ear and then Sally's voice came through, low and 
>  urgent. "Snively, he's on to you! Pull out!" The bar was a quarter full.

CROW:  Please insert three more for game.

>  	"Wait a second. I've almost got this file."
>  	"Well, hurry," hissed Sally. "He's sent out SWATbots..."
>  	The alarm lights went on and sirens buzzed.
>  	Geoff grabbed my arm. "C'mon." His eyes flashed from red to blue to red 
>  again, and I knew I looked the same way.
>  	"No."
>  	"C'mon!"
>  	"No!" I struggled.

CROW:  Boys, boys, let's just touch noses and talk about this.

>  	"Pull out! Repeat! Get out of there!" Sally's voice was still low, but the
>  screaming sirens empathized her panic.
>  	"C'MON!!" hollered Geoffrey, and he yanked my arm hard. I held onto the 
>  chair, screaming in protest and pain...he was going to tear my arm off!
>  	I heard SWATs coming down the corridor. Faintly. They were still far off, 
>  but I knew they would be running.
>  	--Transfer complete-The computer droned, and I ejected the multidisk and 
>  shut down the computer to hide the evidence of my tampering. The disk went into 
>  my pocket, and then the door was knocked down and Geoff was fighting the 'bots 
>  and one of the stun rays hit him, and he was out cold. Sally was hissing in my 
>  ears and I fled for the air ducts.

CROW:  This is so boring by myself.
MAGIC VOICE:  Well, I do know a certain someone who's wanted to try her hand at
riffing for quite some time...
CROW:  Really?  Who?
MAGIC VOICE:  Rrrrr...

>  	Metal hands closed around me and I struggled.
>  	"Let me go!" I tried kicking the 'bot, tried punching it. It only hurt my
>  fists.
>  	
>  					****************
>  	

CROW:  Okay, MV, let's see what you got.  You're on!

>  	They brought us down to the interrogation room. The bots didn't secure 
>  Geoff, but they held me tight. That's because I was awake...while Geoff did not 
>  pose a threat to them in his current state. 

MAGIC VOICE:  Passed out on the couch.

>  	I heard the door slide open and the 'bot holding me turned. I took in the
>  room's new occupants...one fat tyrant-turned-lackey, Robotnik, and one
>  mean-looking wizard, Nagus.

CROW:  Wakey, wakey.  It's the Happy Fun Brigade!

>  	Nagus walked right up to me. His wrinkly hand gripped my chin hard. He had 
>  a habit of staring hard into your eyes.
>  	"Ah, the little traitor returns," he rasped and his breath washed over me. 
>  I wrinkled my nose in disgust.
>  	"What are you doing here?" 
>  	"Nothing! Just uh...came back to get some of my things."  Not that I had
>  anything worth returning for.

MAGIC VOICE:  Exept for those old copies of Playboy.

>  	He looked to Geoff. "And who is this?"
>  	"I don't know." I hoped he would think the SWATs caught us separately. That 
>  we weren't connected.
>  	"He's a Freedom Fighter, master," offered Robotnik timidly.
>  	"Is that true?" Nagus's red/orange eyes looked at me.
>  	"I don't know. I don't know him."
>  	Nagus looked ready to believe me, but Robotnik butted in. Damn him.
>  	"He's joined the Freedom Fighters, master."
>  	"Is that true?" Nagus asked again.

CROW[as Snively]:  I don't know.  I have no idea.

>  	"No." I gave Robotnik my best 'yer crazy' look.
>  	"Shall I interrogate him, master?" Robotnik asked in an eager voice. I 
>  stuck my tongue out at him. 
>  	"No," rasped Nagus. "No need for that." His claw began to glow.
>  	I knew what was coming and I struggled. But the SWATs held me tight. "No!" 
>  I whined. "No!"

CROW:  Don't take my Bananas in Pajamas dolls away!  No!

[Crow exits]

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