[All enter the theater] > > Each of the Freedom Fighters were approached by Sally and Sonic, CROW: To give out free passes into Chuck E. Cheese's. > and >told to accompany them to the war room to be briefed on the mission. TOM: It was really just the outhouse. The budget's kinda tight. > The >entire group met at the door, which Sally opened for them. They all >entered to see Sonic waiting for them. "Hey, guys!" > > "Hey there, Sugarhog!" [All chuckle] > Bunnie replied, then paused, looking back to >see the "Sonic" that came with the group walk in and up to the head of the >long table. "Huh?? What in blazes...?" TOM: Smile! You're on Candid Camera! > > Everyone else was just as confused by this oddity. "Oh, mon dieu!" >Antoine said with obvious dismay. "There ahre being TWO Soneecs?!" MIKE: Sonic shouldn't keep having that Double Mint gum. TOM: And Antoine should get speech therapy. > > "Oh, I wouldn't say that..." The "Sonic" at the table replied. He then >glowed brightly CROW: He turned into a night-light. > and morphed into a tan-furred ferret with a ponytail and a >gold amulet around his neck. TOM: FX. > > This, of course, MIKE: Is a horse, of course. And nobody talks to a horse, of course. > had produced a variety of gasps and astonished >responses from most of the people in the room. "Whoa!" "Sacre' Bleu!!" >"What th'" "Oh mah stars..." "Oh my.." CROW: So we are suddenly joined with the juvenile cast of 'Neptune Men.' > > Sonic chuckled, having been privy to this planned display. Even >though he still didn't trust this alien, he could always appreciate a good >prank. MIKE: Yup, he's a teenager, alright. > > Sally rolled her eyes, TOM: How many times is she gonna do that?? > chuckling at these antics. She walked up to >Vision and introduced him. CROW: Vision, meet Vision. > "Freedom Fighters, this is Vision. I'll let him >speak, because what he has to say is _very_ important to this mission." > > "Thank you, M'lady, TOM: What? Now he's a member of the Ren' Fest? > "Vision said as Sally took her place at the table. >"If y'all will take a seat, MIKE: Brother-cousins... > I'll begin by explaining who, and _what_ I >am..." TOM: "I am Maoijemoinperhvreauinvr, from the planet of Eojiaefiaoejfinhdre." > > * * * CROW: I think those are really Larry, Curly, and Moe way off in the distance. > > Meanwhile, at Robotropolis, Dr. Ivo Robotnik MIKE: That's CRAZY Ivo Robotnik! TOM: A-hyuck. > was sitting in his chair >at Central Command, deep in thought and looking very unamused. CROW: "We are not amused!" > "Snively..." >he said, "My day isn't looking very bright right now... TOM: "You taped over my 'Mr. Rogers'." > How is it that I >can find such a wonderful energy storage crystal, yet not be able to use >one _BIT_ of the energy stored within it???" MIKE: [Snively] "Cuz you're a stupid blockhead, sir? No! Wait!" > > Snively turned away from his instrument CROW: Oh, his mom's forcing him to learn the piano. > panel and said, nervously, >"W-we've been having trouble with the power extraction equipment, S-sir... >There seems to be a tremendous amount of phase..." TOM: I am so phased! MIKE: Let's set our phasers to delete. CROW: Aim it right at the fanfic! C'mon! > > "Well, then..." Robotnik interrupted, MIKE: "Looks like *someone* needs a time out." > "Perhaps we should _fix_ the >trouble..." his eyes glowed a brighter red. CROW: I wasn't aware Indiglo made contact lenses. > "...and _SOON_. Am I clear on >this, Snively??" > > Snively gulped visibly. TOM: "Oh, I swallowed my uvula." > "Y-y-yes, S-sir... working on a routine I >created right now, Sir.." MIKE: "It's called Microsoft Crystal Extraction." CROW: No wonder it failed so many times. > > "Good..." Robotnik replied, and went back to his brooding, something >he seemed to do exceedingly well... > > "Lord Robotnik..." A familiar voice spoke, interrupting his >brooding. Robotnik spun his chair around TOM: "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" > to see Commander Packbell >standing before him, flanked by two SWATBots. > > "Ah, my beloved Packbell..." MIKE: "We are to be wed." > Robotnik said with a smile. TOM: Wow! Even the villain's doing it. > "I take it >that that CROW: That that that that that that that that that that that. > group of rebels in your care have been processed?" TOM: They were turned into five and a quarter inch floppies? > > "Yes, sir, they've been roboticized. Sir..." CROW: I can't hear you, Pyle! > Packbell replied, "I feel >it necessary for us to double security at the laboratory where our latest.. MIKE: "Creation from Dexter is." >acquisition is located." > > "Hmm..." Robotnik mused. "Our current resources are somewhat short in >that department, thanks to that annoying blue rodent CROW: That sounds like a rock band. TOM: THE BLUE RODENTS! YEAH!! > and his friends... Are >you sure this is necessary?" > > "Yes, sir..." said Packbell. "The potential that this crystal has >would most certainly attract unwanted attention." MIKE: Like your mother-in-law. THANK YOU! > > "Perhaps..." Robotnik replied, "Though I doubt those miserable rodents >will discover it until it's too late... Still, I admire your enthusiasm. CROW: "You get a cracker." >Permission granted." MIKE: Then he nods his head like that genie. > > "Thank you, sir. That is all," TOM: [Hums 'Looney Tunes' end theme] > Packbell said, and turned around, CROW: "Whooooooooooa!" {Thud!} >leaving the room. "...You pathetic, bloated fool..." he thought to himself, MIKE: Why's he insulting himself like that? >"You've no idea what you're dealing with..." He doubted that the base they >found the crystal in wasn't abandoned recently. TOM: Being that it had a couple of guards there. > He also knew that the >crystal didn't originate from this world. MIKE: Oh, it's a Dum-Dum lollipop. > He couldn't shake CROW: His booty. > the feeling >that its original owners would soon come calling, somehow... MIKE: They'd probably just get that annoying machine, anyway. TOM: [Phone voice] {Beep} If we've stolen a crystal from you, press one... > > Robotnik resumed his brooding, only to be interrupted again. CROW: "D'OH! Isn't there anywhere I can brood in peace??" > "Dr. >Robotnik, sir! The latest results of our tests on the crystal have arrived! MIKE: "It's pregnant! Congratulations, sir." >They look quite promising, Sir!" > > Robotnik raised an eyebrow. "On viewscreen, Snively..." TOM: Hey, something's coming in on the Hexfield! > He read the >data that began to creep up the large screen in front of him, CROW: It's the end credits. > and an evil >smile crept up on his face. MIKE: "Snively, get the flyswatter. There's something creeping up me." > "Very promising indeed... Yes, perhaps I _am_ >having a good day, after all..." > > * * * CROW: The adventures of Asterisk the Viking and his two clones! > > Vision recounted what he told Sonic and Sally with the rest of the >assembled group of Freedom Fighters, then helped them form an attack plan; TOM: "We'll put Antoine up as bait, and as they're shooting him dead, we joyfully watch *then* get the Ry'den Star." >The goal being to retrieve the Ry'den Star if possible, to destroy it >otherwise. MIKE: It's guaranteed they can do one or the other. > Vision would be the one to destroy it, knowing the safest method >of rendering it unusable. TOM: It'll just have a self-destruct button, like every other piece of equipment they have that we've seen so far. > > After forming a solid plan, MIKE: Take it or kill it. Yup, that's a good, detailed plan. > everyone waited until dark, TOM: Where no one could see, yet the robots have night vision. Brilliant! > then went >outside to take off for Robotropolis. Dulcy looked at the group. "I'm not >sure I can carry this many..." CROW: You wussy dragon. Can't even carry six people. > > Sonic smirked and put on his backpack. "I can juice over there with >Tails." Tails gleefully hopped into the backpack in response. MIKE: Oh, just like one of those Native American things that I can't remember the name of. CROW: You should be ashamed, Mike. > > Vision nodded and said, "And as for me..." He glowed and changed into >a brown-furred bat. TOM: [60s Batman theme: "Da da da da" etc.] > "I can provide my own transportation," he said with a >grin. > > Sally blinked at Vision's transformation, noting that she wasn't going >to get used to that for quite a while. "Well, that's settled. Let's move." >With that, the group left for Robotropolis. > > Along the way, Tails was talking to Sonic. "Aw, c'mon, Sonic, Vision's >kinda neat! CROW: Except for his periodic Ned Flanders dialect. > A little weird, but neat." > > "I dunno, little bro'," Sonic mused, "I'm still not sure I trust him; MIKE: "I mean, he's been sniffing me in the weirdest places." >this could be some sorta trap... I mean, Robuttnik's had aliens helping him >before, and he..." TOM: Yeah, and I bet he's the one who aided in their resurrection. > > "Oh, he has, has he?" Vision interrupted, flying in closer to the two. >"Hmm... I've had my suspicions... This bears looking into. Tell me, you >ever see any of these aliens?" > > Sonic blinked startledly, then nodded. MIKE: I know blinking's a natural function, but does Pat have to point it out every time? > "Yup. It was on that Spy >Sattelite that me n' Rotor took down. It was uuuug-LY! Looked like a big >brown furred ball, CROW: Oh, it was a tribble. > with yellow eyes, and these slimy lookin' tenticle-like >things coming out of it... CROW: Hmm, maybe not. > It tried to wrap them around me, yuck!" > > Vision listened, musing, then made a face. TOM: Y'know, it'll stick that way. > "Bleah... Sounds like a >Tenadian Alley Dweller.. Nasty suckers, they like to feed off the blood of >sapients. MIKE: "Not that *you'd* have anything to worry about." > They usually take _days_ to feed off someone. It prolly thought >you looked pretty tasty, Blue Boy." He grinned. CROW: Yeah, something bright cyan always gets *my* salivary glands pumpin'! > > Sonic blinked at that, then shuddered, nearly tripping as he ran. >"EEEEEEEEEEW!! YUCK!!! That thing TOUCHED me?!?! Ewwewweww!!!" MIKE: Sonic the Hedgehog: teenager of the third grade. > > Vision chuckled, and Sally shouted down, "Keep quiet down there, TOM: "Or I'm turning this dragon around right now!" > we're >getting close..." The border of Robotropolis was in view as they made theit >way. > > * * * CROW: Star light, star bright, first (three) stars I see tonight... > > The inside of Robotropolis' buildings MIKE: Were full of fudge. > didn't look any more cheerful >that the outsides did. Drab hallways, cold grey walls, CROW: Robotropolis really needs a Martha Stewert. > and dark rooms were >the rule, TOM: Anyone without a dark room will be shot on sight. > and this particular building on the outskirts of Robotropolis was >no exception. > > In one of the air vents, however, MIKE: Were a bunch of SWATbots chasing Ryan. TOM: [Ryan] I'm in the wrong fanfic again, ain't I? > the color scheme was changed >slightly, CROW: Damn you, Ted Turner. > as a bright orange glow began to form a large circle on one of >it's walls. TOM: Whoa! The entire wall turned into E.T.'s finger. > The circle completed itself, then a grey metallic arm punched >out the metal within the circle. MIKE: When robots give birth. CROW: Oh, thanks for that image. > The metal was cooled by some device, and >the head of a tiger popped through the newly formed hole TOM: They're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat! > and said in a raspy >voice, "Heeeeeeeere's JOHNNY!!" TOM: And you know 'The Shining' just stole that line. MIKE: Ch'yah. CROW: But that line makes sense since it was a Carson that wrote this story. > > The rest of Vision's body climbed through the hole, followed by Sonic, >who's eyebrow was quirked as he said, "Weird, man, weird..." TOM: This was almost like an opening to a music video. > > The rest of the group filed MIKE: Their students' term papers. > through the hole, and Sally pulled out >Nicole. "Nicole, are there any records of this building in your database?" CROW: [Nicole] "No, but I have some records of Frank Zappa." > > "Working, Sally..." TOM: Wouldn't Sonic like to be working Sally right now? MIKE: Oh, that was below the belt. TOM: He doesn't have a belt. MIKE: Oh, right. > Nicole replied in her ever calm voice. CROW: How can she be so calm at intense moments like this?? TOM: Intense? CROW: Well, y'know, they could miss Home Improvement. > "No mention >of this building exist in early Mobotropolian records." > > Sally frowned. MIKE: "Piss off, Nicole!" > "He must've recently built it. CROW: "Without us realizing it." > We're going to have to >play it by ear..." TOM: "Does anyone know 'Disco Duck'?" > She looked at Vision. MIKE: Oh, that makes sense, cuz his name is Vision and she's, y'know, looking at him, so she's using her own vision to look at Vision, and... TOM: Yeah, Mike. MIKE: And it's funny. TOM: Yeah. > "Where to now?" > > "Well, perhaps we should let Tails discern that." He handed Tails the >datapad he had been using to track the Ry'den Star's energy pattern. TOM: Yup, that's using his natural tracking skills. > > Tails looked at the datapad confusedly... CROW: "I can't figure out this stupid America Online." > "I can't read all these >weird looking letters..." > > Vision chuckled. MIKE: "Heh heh. What an illiterate retard." > "You don't need to, just follow that big arrow on >there TOM: Oh, {pfft}, right. > and your instincts CROW: The instinct of following big arrows? TOM: That's an instinct, I guess. > and you'll do just fine. When that arrow starts >turning red, MIKE: "That means it's very cheesed, so you'd better quit poking it." > you'll know we're getting close." > > Tails nodded and smiled. "Ok. I can understand that." CROW: "Duh, I like cotton." > > Vision pulled out another datapad, seemingly out of nowhere. TOM: David Copperfield! > "And I'll >be looking out for bots in the meantime. Shall we?" > > Sally nodded. "Lets. MIKE: "There are lets everywhere! Get the spray." > We haven't a moment to lose." CROW: You know a moment is really ninety seconds?... I have no idea why I pointed that out. > And the group made >their way through the vents, Tails leading the way. MIKE: And all the rest are forced to look at his tails. How nice. > > They made their way through the vents to a dim TOM: Politician. > hallway. Assured that >there were no SWATBots present, CROW: [Vision] "Hey! Any SWATbots here?" MIKE: [SWATbot 1] No. TOM: [SWATbot 2] Shh! Shh! MIKE: [SWATbot 1] Wha- oh, sorry. Sorry. CROW: [Vision] "Well, safe to go, guys." > they made their way through. They passed a >doorway, when Vision stopped them. TOM: "I put my hand in something wet." > "Guys, hold up a bit..." He zipped CROW: His fly. > into >the room stealthily as the others looked at each other in confusion. MIKE: "Wha? He's doing something!" > After >a brief moment, he came back out. TOM: "Boy, did I hafta go. I feel ten pounds lighter!" > "A little toy I found. CROW: "It's a duckie that goes 'squeak'. I call him Mr. Quackie-head, and he's my friend." > I'll explain >later." Everyone shrugged and continued. > > They made a turn, TOM: Hey! Use a signal, you road hog! > folowing Tails, when Vision stopped them again. "Bots >coming at 3 and 9 o'clock, guys. CROW: Hey, Tom! It's our dates for the evening! They finally made it! TOM: Am I glad to see them. They take so long getting dressed, though. > Move towards the wall and stay put." >Everyone moved towards the nearest wall, MIKE: And stayed put. > then Vision began to change shape, >forming a metalic-like box around them. TOM: Oh, GROSS! CROW: "Vision, did you hafta face us when you formed yourself around us?" TOM: "Don't look at the ceiling! I can see his Fingal." > Antoine almost screamed at this, but >Sonic quickly slapped MIKE: Himself. CROW: "I'm a naughty boy!" > his hand over his mouth and whispered, "Cool your >jets, ALL: Ewwww. > Ant, or we're all toast!" > > Through a small hole Vision left, ALL: EWWWWW! > Sally could see two SWATBot patrols >walk by from both directions, MIKE: [SWATbot 1] Heya, Ted. TOM: [SWATbot 2] Hi, George. Boy, doesn't feel like a Tuesday, does it? MIKE: [SWATbot 1] Nope. Well, seeya. > apparently mistaking Vision for some machine >located in the hall. CROW: So shouldn't SWATbots be programmed with some accumulated memory to realize when something's outta place? > After a moment, Vision reformed back into a tiger. >"Coast is clear, let's move." MIKE: [Sally] "Vision, don't do that again! Sick, *sick*, *SICK*!" > > They continued on, with Antoine shakily saying "I would very much be >liking a warning before yeu try and serrogate us like that again..." CROW: Why does the comic relief make me feel like killing myself? > > Sally rolled her eyes. MIKE: I notice she does that a bit. > "That's 'suffocate', Antoine, and he was >disguising us from the SWATBots..." Antoine complained a bit more as they >continued, TOM: "Are we there yet? I'm tired. My knees hurt. I gotta go. Wah!" [Mike picks up Tom and follows Crow out] > not noticing a shielded camera observing them from a hole in one >of the walls... > [Commercials]