Mike: Gee guys, if there are four Sonics running around in the fic, you got to wonder if there could be other us's. Here. On the SoL. Crow: Oh balderdash Mike. If there really WERE any other duplicates, they would have... [Crow is cut off by Gypsy. And Gypsy, Gypsy, and Gypsy.] Gypsy X 4: Hiya guys. How's the fic coming? Crow: Whoa, what the? Mike: If there are four Gypsies, then there could be... Tom: Now would be a good time to find a place to hide. [Mike, Tom, and Crow run off the bridge as fast as they can. After a minute, three familiar people "reappear" from underneath the table.] Tom: That's the third one today. Crow: How many of "us" are there on board again Mike? Mike: There could be an infinite number. Who knows? Tom: Hey, can they take over for us? We finally get a break from the stuff! Mike: Maybe... [Movie sign stars flashing.] But first, we got to finish this one! FANFIC SIGN!!! > "Sonic Times 4 Equales Trouble" Mike: Again. >Part 2 Tom: Electric boogaloo. Crow: An oldie, but a goodie. >by Pål Martin Kjærsdalen Crow: Oh, it's him again. > >This story contains characters created by SEGA and Archie Comic >Publications, Inc. Mike: Really? How... I've just got the strangest feeling like this has been done before... > >You are fre to Tom: [singing] I'm fre to do... Yea, the déjà vu is quite rampant. >distribute this .TXT file, as long as it's contents has not been >altered and it's done free of charge , and anyone who wants a copy >shall have one for free. Crow: I see somebody likes the copy and paste commands... > >I'm not responsible if this story affects you, anyone or anything in >a bad or negative way. Mike: [Pål] So if you end up puking, it ain't my fault. > >If you want to contact me my E-mail adress is: >kjaersdalen@vf.telia.no Mike: Oh Magic Voice... Magic Voice: Flames away, Mike. > >And, not to forget: Thanks to Kedzie K for helping me out when I was >confused. > Tom: Though we still are. Crow: And so is he. > > >"Your orders, my lord?" The voice almoust sounded like a live being. Crow: Yet another trip through the McDonald's drive-thru. Mike: [garbled] Yea, I'll take *shhkikt* rgers, three small *shhkikt* and a *shhkikt* oke. That's it. > >"Follow me, you have much to learn!" Mike: Too bad it's going to be a public education. >Robotnik carried Crow: Several diseases. Don't forget the protection when you're with him ladies. a wicked smile, Tom: [Surfer] Whoa dude, wick smile! >soon the world would be his for the taking. He had only got to get >Sonic out of the way. Crow: Never mind those others freedom fighters... They don't do jack anyway. > >The Silver Sonic followed him into the main control center of the >base. Mike: Sure, it was just the linen closet, but no one cared. >Robotnik linked Silver Sonic's head to the main computer, which >copied all Robotnik knew into his mind. > Tom: Along with Windows '98, which caused his mind to crash. Crow: Hey, I have Windows '98 in m-[Crow crashes, then reboots.] Hey, where are we? Mike: Bad fic. Crow: Oh. > > > > >Again Knuckles found himself in one of Sally's emergency meetings. Mike: [Sally] Okay, the blue dress or the brown one? >He hated it. Mike: [Sally, ticked.] Fine, I'll wear the blue one... >He wanted to return to Floating Island with the Emeralds, but the >Realm Guardian wouldn't let him. Mike: [Knuckles] Come on, I left the stove on... Tom: [Guardian] No. Mike: [Knuckles] I gotta feed the dog... Tom: [Guardian] No. >He said Knuckles owed the people of Knothole because Tom: He hadn't paid any of his back taxes in over three years. >he was responsible for conecting the realms. Crow: [Guardian] It's your screw-up, so you fix it. > >"So, where be dead guy hiding?" Mike: [gansta] He be wit his posse ov'r on 'da eastside. Lets go pop a cap in his sorry ass. >he just wanted it over with. All: SAME HERE! > >"Out in the ocean.." the Realm Guardian replied. Mike: Ooo, let's be mysterious... > >"And where would that be? The ocean is big!" Crow: Wow! Really? Tom: She does have the knack for stating the obvious. >Sally wondered if that Guardian really was going to help, or if he >was just going to give them riddles. Crow: [Guardian] There once was a lady from Nantucket... Mike: Watch it, Crow. Crow: You know Mike, maybe you really should just relax... > >"Ye do not have a map or anything? It would be easier for ye to >understand." Tom: You simpletons. > >Sally fetched Nicole, Mike: [Dog trainer] Here you go girl, go get Nicole. Go get her! >asked for a map, and gave her to the Guardian. He studied the map >for a while, the pointed out a spot. Crow: You can't take I-294 to I-57. But if you take Route 50... > >"Right here..." he said. Mike: Hmmm... The Bermuda Triangle... > >"Hey, let me see.... That's exactly were ma'isle is hanging 'round!" Tom: Damn that loitering island! >Knuckles lokked worried for sure. Mike: [Valley chick] Yea, like, fer sure... Or something. > >Tails looked annoyed at Sonic. Crow: [Tails] Quit kicking me! > >"What?" Sonic didn't understand. Tom: [Melodramatic Tails] You never care about my needs, my wants! > >"That's where the light's were seen!" Crow: Suuuure they were. >Tails' face looked very strange, some odd mixture of smilling and >being angry. Mike: How would you do something like that? Tom: Well, if he's smilling, maybe he's a pissed off teamster. Crow: At least he's not getting 'angryer.' > >"Can't do nothing 'bout that now." Said Sonic, "Let's go to your >place!" Crow: Kegger at Knuckles! All: [Chanting] PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! > he grabbed Knuckles by his arm, and was gone. > Tom: [Knuckles] MY GOD, YOU RIPPED OUT MY ARM!!! > > > > > >The sight that met them was not good. There was pipes all over the >place, Crow: Drug bust on the Floating Island. On the next COPS. >pumping oil from the mettalic ground. Mike: That reminds me... Crow, will you go clean your room. Crow: IF it WAS my room, then they would have mentioned the smell. Tom: Eeeewwwwww. >Grass, trees and palms were all synthetic. Tom: Plastics: It's the wave of the future. > >"Something's wrong here..." the echidna scratched his head. Crow: YA THINK?!? > >"I don't have to be an Einstein to figure that out." Mike: Though it does help. >Sonic pulled up some of the plastic grass then threw it away. Tom: DUCK! [The grass (since it is coming off a movie screen, winds up being somewhat huge) goes sailing overM &TB's heads and into the rear of the theater.] ?: OW! M&TB: Huh? [They turn around to see a guy sitting in the last row, directly behind them.] Tom: Who are you? ?: Wally. M&TB: Oh. [Turn back to the screen.] > >"No, I mean, Mighty and the gang knows how to deal with 'bots..." Crow: Yea, just hit them and they turn into a little animal... Tom: Fanboy! >Knuckles shaked his head. Crow: Yep, he turn his head into a nice two-story flat... [Turns around] Just how long have you've been sitting back there Wally? Wally: Since "Mighty Jack." Tom: "Mighty Jack?" [Jim Ross] MAH GOD, THAT WAS EPISODE 314!!! [M&T turn around] [normal] You've been back there the whole time?!? Wally: Yep. Mike: Through every bad movie?!? Crow: And bad fic?!? Tom: For SEVEN YEARS?!? Wally: Yep. [M&TB turn back around.] Mike: Man, does he got stamina... > >"We still do!" Tom: Have Dreamcasts in stock! > >Both Sonic and Knuckles turned, Crow: And started to get dizzy, and wound up puking. >and saw a familiar armadillo. Mike: Oh, it... um... that guy. > >"But this isn't just any ol' 'bot...." Mighty began. > >"No?" Knuckles wondered what kind of robot could have done that. Tom: [Chuckles evilly.] Crow: Servo, have you been hopping into other dimensions again? Tom: ... Maybe. > >".... It's Mecha Sonic!" Crow: Dun-dun-duuuuuuhn! > >"Not again!" Knuckles rememberd the havoc Mecha Sonic had caused on >his island. Mike: He switched all the regular coffee with decaf. > >"If I had a penny for every time I wrecked that guy..." Tom: You wouldn't have enough money to buy an ice cream cone. > >Sonic didn't get the time to finish his sentence before something ran >over him. Crow: And turning him into road pizza. The end. > >"THEN WHAT?" Crow: Well, then we get up and leave. Tom: Or we turn the caps lock off again. > >The voice sounded familiar. Mike: Sonic the Hedgehog, this is your life. > >"IT TOOK SOME TIME, BUT MY MEMORY BANKS ARE NOW FULLY RE-CREATED. Crow: Damn you Chernobyl! You wiped out my hard drive! I had to use Mike's credit card to get all my porn back! Mike: ...... >AND NOW, IT'S MY TURN TO WRECK YOU! BY THE WAY, ARMADILLO, I'M NOT >RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS." [Theater shakes, again] Tom: Can't we get those inertial dampeners, like in 'Star Trek?' >Mecha Sonic's eyes started to glow, as he stood upon Sonic's chest. Crow: [On cell phone] Hey, how're ya doing? Listen, we've got... Oh, Gypsy just sent you it. Well, did you read...? You did? [pauses] Are you? Cool. We'll be watching. [hangs up] Mike: Whom did you just call? Tom: Was it Torgo's Pizza? I'm in the mood for some deep dish... Crow: Wait and see. > >"If you are not responsible, then who is?" Tom: The author... Mike: No more author riffs. Quota's been met. Crow: Why do you get to make the rules? Mike: I'm special. Tom: Yea, in more ways than one. Mike: Yea, in more ways than... HEY! > >Before Mecha Sonic could answer, a laser blast sent him away. All: [Making Star Trek Phaser sounds] > >"I am!" Crow: [falsetto] Yes, it was I, the nameless character! > >Sonic couldn't see who was talking, but he could see an Egg-O-Matic. Tom: [Infomercial Host] Yes the Egg-O-Matic! Make scrambled, sunny- side-up, or even poached eggs in under a minute! > >"What's the matter, hedgehog, have you forgotten me already?" Mike: [Sonic] No, uhhhh... Who are you again? > >The Egg-O-Matic landed and revealed Ivo Robotnik. Crow: Put some clothes on man! Mike: Whoa, revealing fic isn't it? > >"Who... What.... But... You're dead!" Sonic couldn't make it out. Tom: Wow, Robotnik's got a real good agent! Crow: Probably the same agent as all the Marvel characters. > >"Not anymore! Thanks to one foolish echidna we all know" Robotnik >pointed at Knuckles. Mike: [Robotnik, mocking] It's all you fault, it all your fault! > >"Hey!" Tom: ... is for horses and sometimes cows. Pigs don't eat it because they don't know how. Mike: What the hell was that for? Tom: I have no idea. > >Knuckles rushed against Robotnik, Crow: [Football announcer] And he breaks through the line! He's at the forty, the thirty... >who just pushed a button opnening a trapdoor, and everyone fell. > Tom: Note: They did NOT fall in, they just fell. Crow: Ye old plot device. What would we do without you? > > > > >"So that's dead guy?" Mike: Yep. And that's lazy guy, and stinky guy, and... > >Sonic and Knuckles sat in a cell. M&TB: o/~ Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. o/~ > >"So it seems." Knuckles tried to brake the wall by punching in it. Tom: And succeeded in breaking his hand in several places. Crow: Ho-hum, what an interesting story. I'm gonna go burn something. Mike: No you're not. > >"You didn't bring the Emeralds along, did you?" Sonic asked with >enthusiasm. Tom: Emeralds! Whee! > >"Nope!" Knuckles let him down. Mike: [Sonic] Oof! Not so hard, you goof ball! > > "Shut up furballs! I'm not shure Crow: Uh-oh, we're going back to Bunnie-ese. >what to do with you echidna! as for you, Sonic, I could easily just >kill you, or roboticize you, but that wouldn't be satisfactory. Mike: [Robotnik] Instead, I'm going to drag this out for as long as possible! Tom: [Dr. Evil] Start the unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism! >I want you to sweat!" Crow: [Monty Python] Winkwink, nudgenudge, saynomore saynomore. Mike: Cro... Oh, I give up. Tom: [Richard Simmons] C'mon now! Work that body, and SWEAT! > >They hadn't spotted the speakers, but they worked, that was for sure! Mike: Yep, he got those Infinity Dolby surround-mega-sound X1026 speakers with recessed sub-woofers. >All of a sudden, Sonic found he was not in the cell anymore, but >in some kind of an arena. Tom: Let get ready to RUUUUUUUUUMBBBBBBBBBBLE! All: [low chant] Kronos... Kronos... Kronos... > >"How do you like my new transporting system? Crow: [Robotnik] I ripped it off from Rodenberry! Mike: [holds up an "O.K." sign.] It stinks! >I'll sure your friends will panic Dr F. [VO] Heheheheheh. Frank: [VO] If somebody could get off their ass and re-dibs it. Dr. F: [VO] ... You really don't give a damn about the fourth wall, do you? >when I try it on a whole legion of SWATbots.... And transport them >to Knothole! Mike: [Kirk] Beam them up, Scotty. Tom: Where gonna surpass our Trekkie geek quota before this season is over. >Haaaaahahahaha!" Crow: Amanda Van Rhyn he ain't. > >"You're insane man! Tom: No, he's dead guy. >How 'd you find Knothole anyway?" Mike: It is on the map. > >"I didn't! Some eggbot ran across it quite by incident. Tom: Just some random incident, like a carnival or a funeral. >I can't locate it, but my robots can track it down! Tom: Thus meaning he can locate it. IS SIMPLE FACT THAT IF- ow. Mike: Stop putting thought into these things, Servo. It'll always hurt worse. >Enough chatter, let the games begin!" All: [Humming the Olympics theme.] > >In front of Sonic a silver hedgehog appheard. Tom: [Sonic] Someone made a pewter statue of me? Huzzah! > >"Silver Sonic, kill him slowly and painfully!" Crow: Oooooh, that gonna hurt... > >The hedgehog stared at Sonic, the at Robotnik, who was displaying >himself on a monitor. Mike: Go on Crow... [Crow opens his beak, but Mike clamps it down.] Mike: You actually though I was going to let you make a comment? Tom: The Robotnik special on the Playboy channel? Mike: Aw dammit Tom! >Silver Sonic turned into a ball and started spinning. Tom: Whoa, everything's spinning... > >"Yes! Kill him..." Robotnik's voice was full of evil. Mike: Mmmm, chewy evil goodness! Crow: Phew! Two words: Breath mint. > >Silver Sonic loosened from his position. Crow: Okay, enough missionary, let's try something else. >Sonic closed his eyes, waiting for the pain. Tom: Prepare to kiss somebody's boots and call them the queen! >When it didn't come, he opened his eyes again and saw the robot >heading for the monitor. Mike: A brand new PlayStation was just installed. Tom: [whispering] Wrong system, Mike. >It bursted into a thousand pieces and fell to the floor. Tom: Cheap piece of crap. >Silver Sonic jumped back onto the floor. He put his hands on his >hips and lowered his eyebrows. Crow: [Silver Sonic] You better not say this makes me look fat. > >"No!" he said. > >"No? Mike: No. >He can't say that! Tom: He just did. >He shall obbey me! Crow: But he won't. If you can't spell it right, they'll never obey you. >You hear me Silver Sonic? Mike: Not at all. >Obbey ME!" All: Hmmmm... Naaaaa. >Robotnik was obviously confused. Tom: Actually, it sounds like he's angry. Mike: We, on the other hand, are obviously confused. > >"No!" Silver Sonic said again. > >"Yo 'bot! Hove cum?" [Crow opens his beak.] Mike: NO. >Sonic didn't understand either. Tom: He's not the only one. Mike: Me neither... Crow: [nonchalantly] Hove cum? Mike: Well, I... Hold on... > >"You're my father, man! Crow: His dad? Did I miss something? Who in the Hell did Sonic lay? Mike: Just smile and nod. >I can't kill you! Tom: You must be... purged... first. >I wonder why I haven't kicked that fat lamers butt before." Silver >Sonic's voice sounded just as Sonic's. > >"Your father? Robotnik built you!" Crow: The mother is the one who *technically* builds the baby... You mean him and Son... Eeeewwww. Mike: Something too hentai for Crow? Now I can die happy. > >"Yes, but my thoughts and feelings, and not to say, attitude is a >copy of yours. Tom: [Sliver Sonic] I'm a complete copyright infringement! >I'm like your twin brother!" Tom: Okay, which is it: His father or his brother? Mike: Father. Crow: Brother. Tom [sarcastic] Gee, thanks. > >"Yeah, you ARE cool!" [Everybody tries not to laugh... and fail miserably.] > >"I know where buttnik is right now, Crow: In the can! >let's juice!" > >"Yeah let's juice!" > >Uh-oh! Thought Robotnik, who had overheard the two. Two Sonics! He >was in troubble now! Tom: So much trouble, it's spelled with two B's! >Good thing he had a backup plan. But he had to work quickly. > Tom: The all-important backup plan. The one that involves waffles. Mike: Waffles? > > > >Just as the door bursted open, he was finished. Crow: [Sonic] Ha! We caught you! Now you'll... My God, man, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? >He pushed the security guard button too, just to be sure. Mike: Wait a sec... That's the History Erase button! >SWATbots and eggbots came from every door in the room, and it all >resulted in one big wrecking frenzy, Tom: Bakaaaaaa Fighterrrrrrrrrr! >Sonic and Silver Sonic fighting side by side. But something went >wrong. Crow: They should have been using V-ism, not X-ism. >Suddenly the robots outsmarted them, surronding them in a way they >couldn't escape without getting laser blasted. Mike: With no explanation! Tom: Is that the way it always happens? > >"Playtime is over! I'll just fix you the old fashion way!" Tom: Over easy! >Robotnik was on the edge of bursting. Mike: [Wakko] Duck and cover! He's gonna blow! > >"Not if I can help it!" sounded a pretty familiar voice. Crow: The familiar voice once again makes another appearance. > >An orange furball disabled half of the robots, Crow: Wow! They can hock up a hairball and kill things with it! >Sonic took care of the rest. > >"Big guy!? Tom: Okay, there's a dead guy, a negative guy, and now a BIG guy? >How 'd you find us?" Sonic looked at the fox in disbeleef. Tom: Dis be leef, I be Tom. Mike: [Sonic] I thought I told you to get out while you could! > >"I've been following you!" Tails said, smiling. Tom: [Tails] I'm your stalker Sonic... > >"Aw, that's very cute..... NOT!" Crow: [Wayne] Man, this story sucks so much, I think I'm gonna hurl. Mike: [Garth] Yea, complete spewage. >Robotnik wasn't fleeing, which probably meant he had a second backup >plan. Tom: The all-important backup to the backup plan. The one that involves more waffles. Crow: Waffles? What is it with you and waffles? > >"Bye, rodent! Harr harr harr!" Crow: You've really got to get that 'evil doctor' laugh down. See, its [clears throat. Ala Dr. Forrester] BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Mike: Will you stop that! > >He pulled a nearby lever, and a portal appheard in the middle of the >room. It stated sucking Sonic towards itself. Tom: Hey, this story sucks! Crow: It more blew then sucked. Mike: It took you this long to figure this out? >Strangely, Silver Sonic, Tails and Robotnik stood undisturbed. Tom: Ah, the plot contrivance has come again. >As Sonic was about to vanish into the portal, The Negative started >taking shape elsewhere in the room. Tom: And again! > >"Bye, bye! Crow: So long! Tom: See ya! Mike: Aloha! Crow: Adieu! Tom Bon Voyage! Mike: Shalom. >I will miss you!" The Negative gave a wicked grin. > >Whe he saw that Sonic tried to hold on to the borders of the portal, >he ran over and started stepping on Sonic's hands. Crow: {Negative Sonic] Ewww, a bug. You go squish! >It was then that Tails came to his sences. Mike: [Tails] What am I doing here? I'm getting out while I can! > He jumped towards the Negative, and held around his legs. Crow: [Tails, stereotypical gay] My, the view here is just *scrumptious!* >Thus resulting in the Negative falling into the portal. Crow: Would have Tails gone in with the negative? Mike: Uhhh, yes, but I'm will to bet an "unexplained occurrence" happened and he's all right. >When he was far enough inside, the portal let go of Sonic and closed. Mike: [club bouncer] We've got the max amount of people this place will allow. Now beat it before I beat it into ya. > >"Phew! That was a clooooose one!" Sonic straightened his gloves. Tom: [Sonic] We might have lost Tails, but I've still got to look my best! > >"ENOUGH! ENOUGH ALREADY! I'M NOT GONNA DO SOME STUPID STUNTS WITH >PORTALS OR DEFECTIVE 'BOTS, Mike: NO, I'M A DEFECTIVE 'BOT WHO'S GONNA DO STUPID STUNTS WITH*OUT* PORTALS! Tom: My God Mike, you've learned to speak in Caps lock! I'm proud of you, m'boy! >I'M JUST GOING TO KILL YA RIGHT NOW!" Crow: Speaking of that: My kingdom for this man's Caps Lock! Wally: You said it! > >Mecha Sonic was standing in one of the doorways, holding a laser >rifle. Crow: And wearing a black trench coat. *WHACK!* OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR? Mike: That was a tasteless comment and you know it. >Everyone present knew that if they tried to move, Mecha Sonic's >speed and robotic presiscion would frie them. Crow: Kentucky Frie style! Tom: Maybe like a french frie? Crow: Deep fat frie. Tom: Sega's gonna frie themselves after reading this. Mike: Okay that's enough. Wally: Yea. You'll frie you circuits. > >"I command you to put down the rifle!" Robtonik's attempt was as >feeble as the one with Siler Sonic. Crow: Hoo-boy, now he's changing the characters' names. > >"NEGATIVE! YOU SCREWED UP, YOU DIED! YOU'RE NO LONGER MY MASTER!" Tom: And with that, Genie blinked herself back into the bottle, never to be seen again. > >Mecha Sonic fired a shot at Robotnik. The skin in the area burned >away. Mike: The things they can do with laser surgery today. > >"I'm sorry to spoil your fun, but I've disabled my Fake-NerveChip(TM), Tom: AllcopyrightsreservedNoonemayuseitwithoutpayaridiculousamountof moneyforit. >I didn't feel a thing!" Crow: The perfect politician. > >"THEN FEEL THIS!" Crow: Here comes the grope! Mike, Tom & Wally: Crow! > >Mecha Sonic fired at a container next to Robotnik. It blew up, and >sent Robotnik into the teleporting device, and he vanished. Tom: [Mecha Sonic] And for my next trick, a rabbit out my hat! > >"SUBJECT: IVO ROBOTNIK. Mike: Evil overlord, ruthless dictator, lardass. >TARGET LOCATION: NONE. PLEASE WAIT WHILE THE SYSTEM PICKS A RANDOM >LOCATION. TO CANCEL, PRESS BUTTON." Mike: [Presses a button on his jumpsuit] Really doesn't do anything, does it? > >No one did anything. Tom: The action in this story is just gripping! > >"LOCATION PICKED: X32 Y76 Z12. ENGAGING. DONE." Crow: [Kirk] Beam him up, Scotty. Tom: How many times have we done that joke? Mike: Too many. > >"Where on Mobius is that?" Tails tried to put it together. > >"IT SHOULD BE ABOUT TWO KILLOMETRES BELOW THE OCEAN SURFACE SOME >PLACE ON SOUTH MOBIUS. 'NOUGH CHATTER, LET'S FRIE! ANY LAST WISHES?" >Mecha Sonic pointed the gun at Sonic. Tom: A spell-checker that works? Mike: No more Forrester? Crow: For every Ed Wood film to vanish? Wally: Turning off the Caps lock? > >"Yeah!" Said Silver Sonic. > >"WHAT?" Mecha Sonic wasn't prepared for that. Crow: [Mecha] What the... System error? Viral Infection?! My dojin! NOOOOOO! > >"DIE!" Mike: [Undertaker] Rest... In... PEACE! >screamed Silver Sonic and spun towards Mecha Sonic. > >Mecha Sonic tried to shoot him, but the laser just bounced of him. [The laser bounces harmlessly onto the theater's ceiling. The laser refracts and causes a nice little light show.] All: Oooh. Aaah. Wow. Tom: Is it just me, or is this crap coming out of the screen a tad more than usual? Unknown Voice: [VO] Sorry, bored. >And so Silver Sonic flew into the middle of Mecha Sonic, shattering >the evil robot. Head, arms and legs flew in five different >dirrections. Crow: He's built like a cheap-ass erector set. Much like Tom. Tom: Hey! > >"Can we leave now?" Silver Sonic said. Mike: Yea, can we? > >Then they heard a voice from the speakers. Dr F: [VO] NO. > >"*Cough*,*Cough* ! Excuse me!" Tom: Eeewww, he left a mess all over the floor... > >They all bursted into laughter, they had forgotten Knuckles. Mike: Yea, what's-his-name again. > >"I'll get him, see ya at the surface!" Silver Sonic was gone. > >"Oki! Let's go!" said Sonic, just as the Realm Guardian came into the >room. Tom: ... Okay, now the avatar come in? > >"Ye need help?" he asked. Crow: He's asking now? > >"NO!" said Sonic, "You just missed all the fun!" > Tom: Figures, another useless avatar. Mike: But this one didn't god-boy. Crow: Or score with anyone. > > > > > >Up on the surface Knuckles stared sadly at his island. Tom: He just missed out on the Cuervo Nation Annual Island party. > >"Hey man! All is not lost!" Sonic layd his hand on Knuckles' shoulder All: [Singing] Put your hand on my shoulder! >"I know of something that might work. Crow: Have you ever heard of cheap urban housing? >Did you bring the Emeralds, guard guy?" > >The Guardian gave Sonic the Chaos Emeralds. Sonic smiled and Mike: Ran as fast as he could. It was his first easy mugging in weeks. >threw the Emeralds as high up as he could manage. The Emeralds flew up >and started circulating around the island. Crow: [newspaper boy] Extra! Extra! Read all about bad fic in the Emerald Times! >Suddenly a giant flash blinded the bunch, and when they could once >again see, everything was restored to its original state, and the >Chaos Emeralds fell down in front of Knuckles. Tom: It's the amazing "I died... But I got better!" Floating Island! > >"How did you know, mon?" Knuckles was nearly falling together. Mike: Alright, who went a broke Knuckles? > >"If I told you that story, Tom: You would have to riff it. >it would just seem flat." Sonic smirked. > >"What about me?" asked Silver Sonic, "What shall I do" Crow: You shall become another avatar in some RP community somewhere. > >"You can come back to Knothole with us" said Tails followed by a > Tom: Followed by what? Mike: What else: Absolutely nothing. >"NO WAY!" from Sonic. > >"How cum?" Mike: You even say one word Crow... Crow: He's the one who wrote it! >Silver Sonic looked a little sad. Mike: Yep, the fic's almost over and his avatar life is almost over. > >"If your mind is indeed a copy of mine, I can't even imagine what's >gonna happen when you meet Sally.." Tom: [Sally] I get two? WHOOHOO! Mike: Great, two of them. Crow: [Darth Vader] Welcome to the dark side... >Sonic shoke his head. "Go to the south, Mike: And find the wise old man. He will tell you where to go on your journey. >maybe you'll find someone who need ya... But I'll miss ya, even if I >have just known you for an hour!" Tom: Yes, in a short amount of time, friendship and a love were forged. > >"If you say so, I trust it....." Said Silver Sonic, "I'm gonna miss >you to." Mike: Then he proceeded to gut Sonic and take his place. Tom: ... Oooooookay. Mike, that was creepy. Come back to the light. > >The hedgehog and the robot hugged each other. Sonic felt something wet >on his shoulder. Crow: [Sonic] Me ear! He bit off my ear!! > >"You crying man?" he looked at the robot, it was indeed tears comming >from its eyes. Mike: Watch it. That's how the Tin Man rusted up. > >"Bye, father." it said. > >"Bye..... Son." Sonic said, after a while. Mike: Bye Mother. Crow: Bye John-boy. Tom: Bye McCloud. Crow: Bye chief. > >"See ya!" > >Silver Sonic was gone. Crow: Thus ending the chance of a sequel. Tom: Two words Crow: Plot contrivance. > >Sonic wiped a tear from his face, "No, you won't.." he whispered, Mike: Not after the raiders get ya. >"No, you won't." > Crow: Aw, did the fic got stuck in the buffer again? > > > > >At the entrance to Knothole, two Mobians were trying to get unnoticed >in. Mike: There's nothing like crashing a concert. > >"Hey! I've been worried sick about you two! You are lucky he's not >hurt, young hedgehog, what were you thinking of, taking him along?" Tom: [Sonic, dumb] Huh, it wuz fun. >Sally looked fiercely at Sonic. Crow: [Sally] I want you in so many ways... > >"I didn't bring him along, he followed us! besides he saved my..." Mike: Priceless stamps collection. > >"Trying to push the blame over on him, eh? Well I'll tell you that >blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...." Tom: That's the most sense that this story has made... > >"Women..." Mike: [Ed Bundy] Can't live with them. The end. >Tails shoke his head, Sally was still speaking. Crow: My god, doesn't she ever shut up? > >"I'll say..." said Sonic, "On three?" Tom: Ready? Drop 'em! > >And so Sonic and Tails blasted of into the Great Forest. > >"I can't even gues what she'll do to me tomorra, I hope she'll cool >down." Sonic looked at his best friend Mike: [Sonic] Let's get into a Vanilla Ice lemon and boff. Crow: Nelson! ... Whoa, weird. > >"So, what do you wanna do, big guy?" > >And they ran of to do things two super-sonic mobian buds usualy does. > Crow: [Tails] Can I use the whip this time? Mike: CROW! Tom: [Sonic] Only if I can wear leather. Mike: SERVO! Wally: [Sally] You better call me the queen after! Mike: Wha... WALLY! Tom: Beaver! Hehehe. Mike: Gah, I don't need this. I'm out of here. [Mike gets up and leaves.] > > > Hey, if you can't figure it out yourself, this is.... > Tom: A poorly made fic? > > > .....THE END All: Huzzah! Tom: Right when the action started to pick up. [As M&TB get up to leave, they stop before hitting the door.] Crow: You gonna be all right, Wally? Wally: Yea, it's comfy in here. Tom: Well, then, see ya later. Crow: Bye Wally. Wally: Bye guys. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.] Tom: Well that was quite... It was crap, as always. Mike: Yea, but I want to know one thing: Who did you call while we were in there Crow? Crow: Tune the TV to channel 978 and watch. Mobius [The scene switches to a normal field, where we see Mecha-Sonic terrorizing random Mobians.] Mecha: YES! RUN YOU PUNY LITTLE NOBODIES! BWHAHAHAHA!!! I MUST THANK DR. R FOR RIPPING OFF THIS WARRIOR SOUL OR WHATEVER IT'S CALLED. THIS IS TOO MUCH FUN! [Mecha starts firing random laser bursts, not noticing the familiar redheaded vigilante coming up from behind him.] Samantha Jones: [Taps Mecha on the shoulder.] Excuse me, I need a word with you... Mecha: Not now. Busy. Go away. [Sam smacks Mecha upside the head. He turns around, ready to kill.] Mecha: Can't you see I'm jerking around with the innocents right nowwww [Looks up to meet Sam's icy cold glaze.] Oooooh crap. Sam: You have something that's copyrighted to my dad. Give it back. NOW. Mecha: AH, GO BUG OFF YA RED-AIRHEAD. [Sam's eyes begin to glow white as she draws her sword...] SOL Crow: Oh, this scene may be too sensitive for younger viewers, so we're cutting it out. Sorta. Tom: We'll be watching and giving C & C for you, though. [Sounds of shrieking metal and a robot's screams can be heard over the TV. Tom and Crow begin to pale as best as two robots can.] Tom: My God, NOT IN THE PROCESSOR! Crow: Remind me NEVER to piss off Ms. Jones. Mike: What, it isn't like [another shriek of metal, and Mike turns a VERY noticeable shade of green.] Ooooo, that shouldn't be done to anyone. Mobius [A calmer Samantha is still there, along with Mecha... Or at least *PARTS* of him.] Sam: Thanks for telling me about that. Last thing we need is a walking, talking Geocities. SOL Crow: Hey, no problem. If you need anything, I'll be glad to charge it to Mike credit card! Mike: ...... Mobius Sam: Thanks anyway, but I got things I got to finish first. If you run into Bret before I do, tell him I miss him. SOL Crow: Well, enough of one violent sport. Back to the OTHER violent sport! GO BRONCOS! Tom: Pfft. [As the scene fades out, we here mike finally ask Crow the eternal question.] Mike: Crow? Just what *DO* you have charged to my credit card? Deep 13 [The Superbowl has been over for the past hour. Dr. Forrester is just sitting in a chair, muttering to himself.] Dr F: I can't believe it. He won. Did Hell freeze over tonight and I wasn't told? [Frank comes in, much happier than usual.] Frank: Heyas Steve! Where's my money? Dr F: Tactless, yet rude. Ah well, the money. [A sly smile crosses the doctor's face.] You do realize I need to charge you taxes and handling fees and such, don't you Frank? Frank: Taxes? Fees? Dr F: Yes, you know, this and that. It's too complicated to go into right now, but you come out to OWING ME, oh, five thousand dollars. Frank: Five thou... I don't even make that much in a decade! Dr F: Don't worry about it Frank. I'll just run you through the Atomic Whirl-A-Gig a few million times. [We fade to the credits with a whirring noise and Frank's screams fading in and out behind the music.] MiSTer notes: Whee! Took me long enough to finish this. >_< Oh well. Thanks, or 'Props to da prop peeps.': To the Out-Group: Amanda Van Rhyn, Chibi-chan, Nick, (We will get the 'Project' finished!) Psimaster, (Fellow riffer of "Endless Night") Mr. Pink and Adam Durham. (Yes, I count you two as a part of our little clusterf**k. ^^) To everyone in C-ko's: [Deep breath] Jeff, Ted, DamienK (Lord of the horny masses), Spider, J-Boogie, DarkHeart, fellow idler Akodo, Amanda Berman [Grope grope. ^^], My evil twin JustinR, and anyone I forgot to name. To Tim, Steven Savage, and Seth Triggs for running SVAM. To Jamie Jeans, who made Samantha Jones. (All I want to do is stare and drool, that's all.) To ye proofreader Alicia Ashby. (Who needs to calm down when she gets frustrated at someone whenever they go into twit mode.) To Michael Neylon and Web Site Number 9. To Tenth Planet, where I'm now spending upward of $300 a month there. [Corner of 95th St. and Cicero Ave. in Oak Lawn, IL.] To Pål Martin Kjærsdalen. Just get a good spell-checker. To family, as always. To God and country. And, once again, to Elvis. What, did ya think I'd forget him? Legal crap to cover thy hairy white arse: Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all related characters are (c) Best Brains, Inc. Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters, unless otherwise noted, are (c) Service Games, Inc. This MiSTing is (c) of me. (Like I care if it gets Meta-MiSTed.) Samantha Jones is (c) of Jamie Jeans. Anything I missed is (c) of anyone I forgot, lest I get sued. Wally is free. I don't want to copyright him, so go nuts. Eggs with Internet links on the side: The original story is at: http://kedziek.simplenet.com/fanfic/martin/ Web Site Number 9: http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/ Shinji's Vault: http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/index.html Joseph Nebus' Sonic MiSTings: http://www.math.rpi.edu/~nebusj/sth3k.html MST3K: http://www.mst3k.com/ My E-mails [Your pick]: Hyper53179@aol.com or RJ_Bachler@hotmail.com My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/RJ_Bachler/ Keep circulating the tapes, fics, and the back stock in the cooler at work. Stinger: "Follow me, you have much to learn!"