['Outer Limits,' or a pile of crap for thirty minutes.]

[BREAK]

[Commercials:]
[Liquid Water is sold for the low, low price of $59.99,]
[To go along with the Instant Wind that's on the market, Worst Brains Inc. 
has released
  Instant Fire, just add Liquid Water,]
[Remember the fusion cars? Well,... Crystler has gotten hold of something.]
['Mission: Pork' a flop with pig lovers/haters and people who don't care,]
[A new movie ad, 'Soilent People.' It's made out of, well, people. Thank 
you, Charlton
  Heston.]

[END BREAK]

[And Now...]

Lock up the Children; Lock up the Parents. The Time of Reckoning has Begun.

Welcome to the ReBirth:

Mystery Science Theater: Renewed and Back to its Shiny Luster.
>From the Pocket Notepad of Mike256Bit

* * * * *
[TOM: Look, writer doots.]

SEASON ONE:
EPISODE TWO: Sonic's Goin' Solo (HEY! It's by Marcus V. Pepin.)
[Sonic the Hedgehog/Warnful Content]

[MST:RBSL Theme:]

In the pretty-recent future,
A show I know and love.
Was so foolishly, taken off,
The airwaves that fly above.

Oh well, I guess I can't complain,
'Cause I got em' back, and without shame.
I picked 'em up, in a carrying case,
Packed 'em in a rocket,
And jammed them into outer space!

MIKE:
'I wanted that foot cream!'

BOTS:
'WEEEEEE!'

[Pearl is seething, ripping up FanFics. She also speaks with an air of 
impatience.]

Guess what, I was forced back,
With all my 'old-time pals.' (La, la, la.)
So I'll send those crappy FanFics,
Get ready you guys and gals. (La, la, la.)

[Mike and Bots run around, trying to fly.]

If you'll remember, Mike can't control,
Where these freaks begin or end. (La, la, la.)
Because he used up his brain, and other things,
To have fun with his robot friends!

[Crazy flash sequence.]

ROBOT ROLE CALL:

CAMBOT!:
'Looks *too* good.'

GYPSY!:
'Maybe I shoulda went with teal...'

TOM SERVO!:
'Get those fish outta there!'

CROOOOOOW!:
'I'm STILL different!'

Now as you know, it's not his fault,
That Pearl's a sadistic spaz.
But she has to monitor his mind,
It's her job, so just relax.
For Mystery Science Theater: RBSL! ['L' is said with the guitar twang.]

* * * * *

Pause, perhaps leave, for the (half-ass-real-quick-protecting-my-butt) 
legalities:

'Sonic the Hedgehog' and crew are owned, captured, traded for Poke'... oh 
wait, nevermind. Like
I was saying, they are copyright of SEGA (Service Games), DIC, and Archie.  
I don't own 'em,
the author don't own 'em, unless otherwise mentioned.  And if you got a 
problem with that,
well, then you have issues I'd rather not deal with.

This fic belongs to Marcus V. Pepin, I didn't make it, I didn't want to.  He 
can be happy,
and so can I.  But in no way have I meant to offend, disturb, (well...), or 
incite riots. My
purpose however, is just to release some long-needed laughter, and at all 
cost, NOT welled up
gases. (Well, there are some modifications, minor ones, for the bonus R&R. 
[No, not 'Rest and
Relaxation'... 'Riffiage and Rantage'.])

Any other names, movie-people, TV-people, products, whatever, they own their 
own names. I'm
not ABOUT to claim ownership of anyone with name like Elton John. (Who I 
don't think is
mentioned anyhow.) And the chino khakis are another story all together.

The concept of MST3K, whoa, that definatly ain't mine.  All you fans know 
who it DOES
belong to, (and who it was created by... we love you Joel Hogeson.) I won't 
waste time.
'Sides, you usually have to know the low down on MST3K before you attempt, 
or even read a
MiST.

Speaking of the MiST and this particular series of Mystery Science Theater, 
they belong to me.
Couldn't a' done it without the other MiSTers, especially Megane 6.7 (plug) 
who was a great
influence. And might I add, and who I'll definatly mention, my two FAVORITE 
cartoonist, Bill
Watterson, writer and illustrator of 'Calvin and Hobbes,' and Gary Larson, 
writer and
illustrator of 'The Far Side.' Love you guys. It's all brilliant stuff.  
Anyhow, if someone
helps me with a MiST, credit will be given. (Usually at the bottom unless a 
really MAJOR help,
where instead, I'll note as 'co-author' at the top.) Not to mention some 
prime locations, but
only if *I* want you to know about them. I need my secret goldmines ya' 
know.)  Anyhow,
boredom's settin' in, it's gettin' late and you're too tired to hit the 
sack. (Yes, yes, for
those who watch 'Toonami' on the 
"much-loved-four-through-six-on-weekdays-and-twelve-through-
five-on-Saturday-night" Cartoon Network, I took that, and it really won't 
change anything.)
On with the fun.

And hey, don't get into a pissy-fit if something looks like your material, 
take it as flattery.
Also, if something's inaccurate, like names, THEN will I claim ownership. 
Hehe, ;)
AND,... just, like it, you crazy people.

* * * * *

[Fade in.]

[No one is one screen.]

[Gypsy then walks by from stage-left and turns to Cambot.]

GYPSY: Brace yourself.

[She leaves stage-right.]

CAMBOT: I'm frightened...

[Suddenly, in drop Mike, Crow, and Tom, howling Japanese slogans. Mike is 
poised to fight with
his arms in the air. The Bots just make fighting noises.]

TOM: HYA!!!

[...While in a Sailor Moon get up.]

CROW: Feel the wrath! Eat the burn! ...No wait, is that it? No, wait, hold 
on!

MIKE: Sailor Mercury uh, what's the line? I,... um, Tom? What are you doing?

[Tom is jumping left to right making the same noise.]

TOM: Hya!

CROW: I think he's stuck.

TOM: Hya!

MIKE: Is it like a record? Can I just hit him?

TOM: Hya!

[Mike does. Tom falls off the counter.]

TOM: Thanks, I DIDN'T need that, ow.

MIKE: Sorry.

[Pulls him up.]

[Crow looks at Cambot while Mike helps Tom.]

CROW: Welcome to the Galactic Mourge. You kill 'em, we chill 'em. How can I 
take your order--

MIKE: I though we agreed not to do that.

CROW: Alright,... you mean-type person, you win... jerk...

TOM: You shoulda said the one I wrote for ya, Crow.

CROW: Can I, Mike?

MIKE: No.

CROW: Then you better not stop talking, or I'll sweep in for the kill... or 
your cookies!

[Crow then glides across the counter, making whooshing noises.]

MIKE: ...Right. [To Cambot.] Welcome to the Satellite of love. I'm Mike, and 
to avoid
insanity--

TOM: Or provoke it.

MIKE: Yes, or provoke it, I have built my robot friends Tom Servo and Crow 
T. Robot.

[Gypsy walks by, coughing.]

MIKE: And Gypsy.

[Crow comes back in Stage-left.]

CROW: If you're curious about our apparel--

TOM: I'm never curious when you dress up like a girl, Crow.

CROW: I only did it that one time!

[Mike puts his tongue in his cheek and glances at Cambot.]

MIKE: Well, this will be our attempt to suede Pearl into something but 
Sonic.

CROW: See, we got a note slipped under the door and it REALLY freaked us 
out.

MIKE: Who knows, we might get a lemon, wait, for Goodness sake, I said that 
like I was happy!

TOM: You poor misguided fool.

[MADS light.]

CROW: Hey! The Peanuts Gang is callin'!

[Mike taps light.]

[When Pearl appears, they go into their act again.]

[CF]

PEARL: Can it. You get Sonic, we have business.

[SoL]

MIKE: Oh... darn.

[Snaps his fingers and reappears in his jumpsuit.]

CROW: But what about OUR jumpsuits, huh???? ...What the hell? Why does that 
sound familiar?

TOM: Well, I *do* like this wig...

[CF]

[Observer walks by with a black box.]

OBSERVER: Hot stuff, comin' through.

PEARL: Shut, up!! I'm gettin' tired of you... again. Track the mess through 
MY VW...
anyhow, how are the "Get Bent" balloons I sent ya workin' out for ya?

[SoL]

TOM: What balloons?

[CF]

[Pearl drops shoulders for a beat and turns to her left.

PEARL: BOBO! Didn't you send the balloons?

[Cambot pans over.]

[BoBo and Observer are breathing in the helium and are making funny voices.]

PEARL: Good idiots are so hard to find these days. Any ways, I have that 
business proposition.

[SoL]

CROW: What's up, you Heavy Highness?

MIKE: Write that down, hehe.

[CF]

PEARL: Aw, flattery will get you everywhere, Gold-Boy. Rather, did you enjoy 
your days on
the Invention Exchange?

[SoL]

ALL: Oh no...

[All glance at each other.]

[CF]

PEARL: It's back in operation! Now, I won't mind going first. Hey! Primate! 
Pale Face! Get
by the Death-Clock!

[SoL]

MIKE: You mean--

[CF]

[Observer and BoBo are jumping up and down excitedly by the Death-Clock; the 
black box
Observer carried by.]

PEARL: Yeah. You know those thing on the Internet that give your date of 
Death? Well we've
done them one better!

[SoL]

CROW: Oh, so you stick your finger in that little port and it gives you your 
death date?

[CF]

[Pearl scrunches up her face.]

PEARL: Weeeeeeeellll, not exactly. BoBo? Care to demonstrate?

BOBO: Sure! What does it do again?

[BoBo sticks his finger into the port and instantly, the lights dim. BoBo 
ears began to smoke.
Observer unplugs it. BoBo falls back.]

PEARL: Well?

OBSERVER: ...He's dead!

PEARL: Alright, the *Death*-Clock works! And it does indeed double as a 
clock.

[Pearl plugs it back on and hits a switch. The time flashed 12:00.]

PEARL: Of course, it's harder to program than a friggin' VCR, because you 
*can't* program it!
HA!

[SoL]

CROW: Ohhhh, shiney numbers!

[CF]

[Pearl looks smug.]

PEARL: Beat that.

[Observer is still poking BoBo.]

OBSERVER: Still dead, he comes back, right? That was our last professor!

[Pearl looks worried.]

PEARL: Uh, um, what's your, invention, guys?

[SoL]

TOM: We don't have one...

MIKE: Hold on, go to the closet, Crow, get a spare from the,... invention 
days...

CROW: Ok,... but get Tom out of the Lita suit, he's starting to scare me...

[Crow leaves and Mike gets Tom back to his crazy self.]

TOM: I feel like a real robot--

MIKE: Yeah, yeah, you said that last time.

[Crow comes back with a corn cob on a fan motor.]

TOM: Hey! The Electric Corn-Cob Turner! I get to try it!

CROW: But I got it!

MIKE: Sorry, shotgun rules: he's was in sight of the corn when he called it.

TOM: HA!

CROW: Fine.

[Tom positions himself behind the corn.]

TOM: Let her rip!

[Crow puts it on low power and Tom enjoys his old corn.]

TOM: Hmmm, dusty!

[Crow's beak slips, however, and slams down on 'Super Incredibly Ludicrously 
Ridiculously
High']

MIKE: Look out! Corn is flying everywhere!

BOTS: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Tom's mouth catch on the cob and gets his head torn from his body. It flies 
off towards
Combot.]

CROW: ...I don't like this invention anymore...

MIKE: Uh, Pearl, can we just have our fic now?

[CF]

PEARL: That was cool, but our invention in better because I said so. YOU 
CAN'T WIN MIKE!
HA! Er, the fic? What fic?... OH! Yeah, sorry, was wrapped up in glee. You 
get to experience
'Sonic's Goin' Solo' by Marcus V. Pepin. Another 'needs a middle initial' 
person. We have to
find a new professor, so, ta!

[Screen blanks and they get Tom a new Tom-Head.]

TOM: Never again do I eat corn.

[Fanfic stuff goes off.]

ALL: WE HAVE SONIC IDIOCY!

[Door Sequence:]

DOOR SIX: One 'Damned if you do,' door, and one 'Damned if you don't' door. 
You spend hours
choosing.

DOOR FIVE: A wall of TV's. They turn on in a pattern that reveals a door. 
You reach for the
knob, enter, and pass.

DOOR FOUR: A dentist door. You wait fifteen minutes past your appointment 
until they call
you in.

DOOR THREE: A wall of light. You wait for the bulb to burn out.

DOOR TWO: A clapper hook up. It takes you a while to figure that you have to 
clap twice.

DOOR ONE: A steel door. It rotates faster and faster and drills into the 
ground. You hop over
the hole and pass.]

[All file in.]

TOM: Probably another moral dilemma.

>  Sonic Goin'

CROW: Away, PLEASE go away.

>Solo!

MIKE: As long as he does it with the same enthusiasm.

>By: Marcus V. Pepin aka "Sonic"

CROW: Someone is REALLY confused here.

TOM: It's me, I think.

>    Was'up? It is me, Sonic.

MIKE: Hi Sonic, go run off that cliff for a sec.

>You can use my charecters if you wish,

TOM: But telling you how stupid THAT would be,... would be *too* easy.

>but ad my copyright.

CROW: Advertise his copyright? How do you do THAT?

>Sasha is a copyright of Ian Patterson.

MIKE: You've befouled your name, Ian! This is Marcus we're talkin' about.

>The Freedom Fighters are a copyright of Archie Comic and/or DiC.

CROW: Don't make me comment on DiC.

[All snicker.]

>Sonic is a

TOM: Goofball.

MIKE: Idiot.

TOM: Dork.

MIKE: Lame.

TOM: Retard!

MIKE: Nerd!

TOM AND MIKE: SQUIRREL KISSER!

CROW: We could go on for days.

>copyright of Yuji Naka and Sega Enterprises. Please don't sell my stories

MIKE: If you're in your right mind, anyway.

>unless you are prepared to cut me some

TOM: Mustard.

>money or get sued. Plus:

CROW: Minus:

TOM: Math, it's all the same to me!

>In the stories "It's That Time of Year", "Next Time There is Trouble", 
>"Sonic Dragon Ball Z Crossover"

MIKE: Instant Classics.

>and this fanfic, Tails and Sasha are 14,

CROW: Don't bother explaining why, please.

>and Sonic, Sally, Knuckles, Julie-su, Antione, and Bunnie are 17. Rotor is 
>18.

TOM: ...The hell? Rotor is older that Tails alone! In fact, Antoine's in his 
twenties--

CROW: NOW who's the Fanboy?

TOM: OH! I was reading YOUR script, Crow. Here ya go.

MIKE: Guys, guys, fight nicely.

>In "Sonic Adventure", they are one year younger.

MIKE: Well that clears up everything, thank you.

>Peace, "Gotta Juice"!

ALL: Ewww...

>    A giant woosh

CROW: [Flatly.] The whoosh of triumph. Blur.

TOM: STOP SAYING THAT!

CROW: Bite me.

TOM: Make me.

CROW: Make me make you.

>sounds through the air as the famous blue blur speeds through the Great 
>Forest.
>He is runnig around Knothole,

MIKE: How lovely, it's in present tense.

>exercising his legs and mind.

TOM: What mind?

CROW: What legs? Oh yeah, sorry.

>He concentrates on his legs and tries to go as fast as he can.

MIKE: And this is HOW he exercises his mind.

>Right now, he is on his 100th lap.

CROW: C'mon! In the early issues, he could run around Mobius in under a 
second!

TOM: F-A-N-B-O-Y!  Well gee, that's surprising! NOT!

>Sally is in Tails

CROW: What a lovely, vivid... sick thought.

MIKE: Please don't do that, it upsets the cat.

>and Sasha's hut. She is dicussing something with Tails that is very 
>important to him and to us all.

ALL: ...PANCAKES??

>"Yes aunt Sally, we are." "Tails, I can't let you contiue this." "(Please 
>don't say it!)"

TOM: Say what? That you're all in the SAME paragraph?

>Tails thinks. "No mre love making til' your old enough."

TOM: AUUUURRRGGHHHH!!!

[Head instantly explodes in a flash of circuitry.]

CROW: YAAAH!!

MIKE: Not only... not only did Sally say 'love making,' but she spelled more 
wrong! Gah!!

[Another lightbulb-box, and Tom's head is back.]

TOM: WAY too soon, I don't like this.

>"(Damn!!)" Sally see's him squinting really hard.

CROW: Judging by what she just said, I don't want to know as to what he's 
squinting at.

MIKE: Pearl?

>He looks at the bathroom door and notices that Sasha didn't hear her say 
>that.

TOM: That telepathic link sure is handy.

>Sasha is brushing her hair at the time. Sally wanted to make sure that he 
>knew about this, but not in front of her.

CROW: Even though it GREATLY concerns Sasha.

>"Sally, how old do I have to be?" "At least 18." "What!!!"

ALL: AT LEAST EIGHTEEN!

TOM: And how do you go about STATING 'what?'

>"That way you will be adult about it." "Why not at least 16 to 17, since 
>that is when you and Sonic started."

MIKE: The future queen of Mobius, everyone.

>"Well, alright Tails, 16 to 17

CROW: Yeesh, he can only do it within that time frame?

>it is. But I expect it to be late in your sixteenth year.

MIKE: Why exactly did the lil' dork TELL an 'adult' that he has having sex 
illegally?

>Your luck

TOM: Must REALLY suck.

>I am letting you get off

CRWO: Hee hee.

>so easy. I'll leave ya alone now. I expect you to follow my rules.

MIKE: Hey, genius, don't you think them having sex to begin with is a bit of 
a point knocker
for trust?

>If you dont, you will regret it.

CROW: "With SWIFT Macoist torture."

MIKE: Yikes.

>Bye Tails." "Bye Aunt Sally."

TOM: I think she was talking to herself, that time.

>Sal

CROW: Since when do narratives use abbreviations?

MIKE: I dunno, CR, how 'bout you, TS?

TOM: That was a SHINING example, Mike.

>leaves out the door and heads toward Sonic. Tails walks over to the 
>bathroom and opens the door. He walks in and sees Sasha wrapped in a towel, 
>brushing her wet hair.

CROW: About towels...

MIKE: Not now, Crow.

>"I didn't know you took a shower."

TOM: [As Tails.] I though you rolled around in the mud like most people who 
go into their
bathrooms do.

>"Ya, decided to. Hey, are you going with me tonight?"

CROW: [To himself.] PLEASE say to an execution range.

>"Where would this be?" "You'll see." "See what?" "You'll see, you'll see."

MIKE: All I know is that someone can see.

[All shut eyes.]

ALL: Isn't me.

[All exchange glances while eyes are shut.]

>She giggles at the thought in her head.

TOM: Dear, Lord.

>Tails looks at her weird, but then walked out of the room and into the 
>kitchen.

CROW: He meant to say nothing. ...The heck? For an obscured joke, *I* 
didnt't understand it!

>He opens a droor and grabed a spoon, then he opens the fridge and pulls out 
>2% milk.

MIKE: No, go back to the droor, I want to see what else is in there!

>He walks over to a cabinet and grabed a glass and chocolate mix. He open's 
>the chocolate mix container and scoops three teaspoons in.

TOM: Jerry Lewis starts his day.

>He pours some milk in and stirs with the spoon. When he takes a drink, he 
>notices something that would make anybody spit out there milk like Tails 
>does.

CROW: Fran Drescher: Last Laugh.

[Tom shudders.]

>He sees Sasha

MIKE: Then the spitting was understandable.

>walking out of the bathroom, naked, drying her hair with a towel.

CROW: They're ALL naked.

>She hears this and looks at Tails. "Why did you do that?"

TOM: Well c'mon, it's YOU.

>"Well, your naked." "What, it is not like you've never seen this body 
>before."

MIKE: I hate Sonic, both of them.

>"Ya, but what if Sally happened to walk in?"

CROW: We'd have plot.

>"The doors are locked and the shades are down in here. I'm not a fool 
>Tails."

TOM: Idiotic imbecile, I could see her as.

>"I know that, just the front door isn't. Sally just walked through it.

MIKE: Is Tails narrating?

>Now walk your fine butt

CROW: Take the pooper-scooper with you!

>in there and get dressed." "You don't like what you see?"

TOM: Must,... stab,... eyes!

>"Of course I love that beautiful young body.

MIKE: And that IS indeed all, he loves.

>And to tell you the truth, your quite big for your age,

TOM: AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

[His bowl glows.]

CROW: Whoa, don't take it like that!

MIKE: Is that supposed to be a compliment??

>being that your 14, if you know what I mean."

MIKE: [Sobbing.] We don't want to, dammit!

>"In more ways than one." "Just I wont see it in an intimate way." "Why?"

TOM: Who's talking???

CROW: Take a guess.

MIKE: Members of Morons Anonymous?

>"Sally just said I couldn't until I was at least 16, late in that year 
>though." "That can be fixed."

TOM: Just apply the Goldbond Medication like I said last time.

>She says as she walks in to the bedroom and sits down. "Hey Sash!

CROW: "Stop leaving butt-marks on the chairs!"

>So, where are we going tonight and what do you mean by that remark!?"

MIKE: Well, I... I *think* she meant that, it could be fixed.

>"You'll see!" They say as they yell across the house. Tails walks over to 
>the couch

TOM: What couch??

>and sits down after cleaning up the mess he made.

MIKE: Told him he'd need the pooper-scooper.

CROW: *I* told him that.

>Sasha walks out only wearing a string bikini.

TOM: [Whimpers.] I don't like Marcus.

>"What is that for?" "This is for tonight." "What are we going swimming?" 
>"How did you guess?

MIKE: Yeah, you need intelligence for things like that.

>I invited Sonic, Sally, Knux and Julie-su to come over for a nightime pool 
>party.

CROW: Where did this convenient pool com from, exactly?

>Now it can serve as a way to help us.

TOM: Pools have a way of doing that if the proper toxins are added.

>Go get dressed, we have to be there in 15 minutes."

TOM: It's your own party.

>"O.k!"

CROW: Tom's just making sure, don't yell.

>    He watches Sasha walk into the bedroom and gets up.

CROW: WOW! A new paragraph!

>He walks into the bedroom and notices Sasha bent over,

TOM: GAAAHHH!!!! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!

>putting makeup on.

CROW: That still sounds unsafe.

>He walks past her and grabs his trunks and slides his shorts off.

MIKE: What shorts??? For Goodness Sake STOP IT!!

BOTS: Stay frosty!!!

MIKE: Shut up!

>He then slides his trunks on. He takes his shoes off and puts his sandals 
>on. "Hopefully, we can talk Sally out of what she just said." "NO, NO, she 
>is right."

CROW: AGREED.

>"But, I mean we could use condoms like we always do."

ALL: MWAAAAA!!!!!!!!

>"Yes, but it still wouldn't be right. We are to young." "I see. Now I am 
>seeing the mature side of you, and quite frankly, i

TOM: "-t's uglier than I thought!"

>like it." She kisses him on the lips as they walk outside and join Sonic, 
>Sally, Knux and Julie-su walking over to the pool .

MIKE: The poor lone period.

>When they reach the pool, Sonic slips his sandals and shirt

CROW: Proclaiming that the Monkees rule.

>and jumps into the water. He splashes back up and yell, "Man, talk about a 
>wake up!!"

TOM: Don't set your alarm so early.

>"Well that's what you get,

MIKE: Regardless of the overpricing.

>jumping into the pool without turning on the heater." Knux says.

CROW: Sheesh, is the word off-character COMPLETELY unknown to Marcus?

>He goes into a little shack

TOM: [Silently.] ...The Love Shack, is a lil' ol' place where...

>and pushes a button. Then, Sonic felt the pool heat up slowly.

ALL: HEY!

CROW: No switching between tenses!

MIKE: Tense switcher!

>The Sally and Julie-su walk into the water slowly as Sasha jumps in with 
>Tails.

TOM: Boy, aren't THEY building a climax.

>Knux also jumps in and they start having fun.

CROW: Two minutes of non-fun was TOO much.

>Sonic is enjoying this until a thought crosses his mind.

MIKE: The headache that followed was unbearable.

>He gets out of the water and sits on a lawn chair. He looks up at the stars 
>and thinks

TOM: "Why do I get so many headaches??"

CROW: [As Sonic.] OW! That one hurt!

>"(We're never gonna have Mobotropolis back. Oh, at least I have my parents 
>back,

MIKE: Whoopee.

>but what about Sally's? Who knows where they are.

CROW: I'd tell you, but I can see Tom writing his next 'Fanboy' skit down.

TOM: Nuts.

>I should go talk to Unc about this.)"

TOM: Unc Williams?

MIKE: You made that up, didn't you.

TOM: Well... it depends on your deffinition of 'made up...'

>He gets up as Sally notices he is out of the pool.

CROW: As he has been for ten minute thinking about being an idiot, or 
something like that. I
wasn't paying attention.

>"Hey, where are you going Sonic?"

MIKE: "We have to play pin the brain on the hedgehog!"

>"I am going to Uncle Chuck's for a while." "Why?" "I just have to."

CROW: "Don't MAKE me think of a reason."

>He speeds to his hut and puts his socks and shoes on. He takes off towards 
>the destroyed Mobotropolis.

TOM: Forgetting to remember that is was Robotropolis.

MIKE: Hey! Record time, segment!

BOTS: Yay.

[All file out.]

[.....1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....6.....]

[BREAK]

[Commercials:]
[The Gary Coleman selection of Christmas Songs,]
['Soilent People' fails to hold up to 'Soilent Green'. More at eleven,]
[The newest watch is water and time-resistant,]
[Nike, ReBok, and Adidias team up to make and sell puppies,]
[More Lard Man dinners are endorsed.]

[Mike is at a lap top with the bots attentively at his sides.]

CROW: Ok, we need an incompetent boob to help us sabotage Pearl... but we 
need him to have
a middle initial...

TOM: Why?

CROW: He just does!

MIKE: Ok, cross refference the list of people in the universe with a middle 
initial and
incompetent...

[Mike does.]

[Tom reads results.]

TOM: 23,542,786,345,765,554,770,065,234,334,535,435,346,454,230,003,164,321 
matches found.

CROW: Cross with idiotic, stupid, and brainless.

[Mike does.]

TOM: 23,542,786,345,765,554,770,065,234,334,535,435,346,454,230,003,164,321 
matches found.

MIKE: Nuts to this, let's just get Marcus.

[They call up a video window and Marcus Pepin appears via Internet.]

TOM: Hey Marcus, we have a request.

MARCUS: Waz'up? How coulda I have helped ya?

CROW: The hell?

MARCUS: Waz somethin' wrong?

TOM: He speaks in past tense!

MIKE: Weird, and he writes in present tense... makes sense.

MARCUS: Waz der somethin' I coulda have done for ya?

TOM: Do you know where Castle Forrester is?

MARCUS: Actually, yeah, I did.

CROW: Great, go down there and mess things up.

MIKE: That's a little crude.

CROW: So?

MARCUS: How waz I 'sposed ta do dat?

TOM: Uh... any way you can.

MARCUS: Have done!

[The screen flickers and blanks.]

MIKE: That was just weird.

[Fanfic stuff.]

MIKE: Right.

[.....6.....5.....4.....3.....2.....1.....]

[All file in.]

TOM: At least we know where to find our incompetent people with middle 
initials.

>    As he travels there,  his mind travels in a different direction.

CROW: Back to the pile of dog stuff. It's true origin.

>It goes to the time time

MIKE: That was lame lame.

>when Sally brung his older brother over,

TOM: STOP TRYING TO MAKE A PLOT!!

>the one that has been missing for about 15 years.

CROW: Yeah, THAT one.

>He remembers how they stopped Robotnik,

MIKE: Flushing him down the toilet their first failed attempt.

>destroying Robotropolis with it.

TOM: And you STILL don't live there? Is stupidity stopping you?

>He didn't think about that. He starts to speed up and passes Uncle Chuck's 
>hideout, that really is his home now.

CROW: At least he HAS a home, unlike poor, poor Tom, here.

TOM: What?

>He speeds around and head to the spot where he believes Robotnik's main 
>quaters was.

MIKE: THE HELL??? It's like Marcus fell down an idiot hole and brought a 
fanfic with him.

TOM: What have we told you about bitching???????

MIKE: Well? What?

>He visualizes himself running

CROW: *Actually* running wasn't enough.

>through, as if nothing had changed. He swirves around, thinking he is 
>dodging Swatbots

TOM: So he likes to affect himself psychologically.

>and slicing them to pieces. He realizes what he is doing and speeds back to 
>his uncle's house.

MIKE: Where he's surprised that his uncle hasn't changed.

CROW: [As Sonic.] <Sigh,> you're STILL a robot?

>When he arrives, he finds the door blown off. He speeds down the stairs and 
>gets to the floor and notices that his uncle is on the floor, injured 
>mildly.

TOM: No worries then.

>He also notices that there has been a struggle here,

MIKE: Uncle Chuck? Fight back?

[All look at each other and burst out laughing.]

>things had been knocked over and destroyed. He ran to him and asked "Hey 
>Uncle Chuck!

CROW: [As Chuck.] Ya like what I did to the place? Looks kinda nice now, 
with all the
wreckage!

>What happend here?" "Sonic, (ZZZT)

TOM: He turned into a mosquito AGAIN.

>your parents were kidnapped by (ZZZT) by (ZZZT). Uncle Chuck shuts down and 
>starts to

MIKE: Continue shutting down.

>repair it's self.

CROW: Well yeah, he IS himself.

>Sonic saw this and started to panic. He yells out "Whyyyyyyyyy?!?!"

TOM: "ARE WE OUT OR TOILET PAPER!!!???"

>and falls to his knees and starts crying.

MIKE: Well, it IS toilet paper.

>He wipes off the tears and races out of the house and heads back to 
>Knothole. When he arrives, He tells the others the bad news.

CROW: No more sex.

TOM: Hell, not bad news for us.

>"Guys, listen up.  My folks have been kidnapped and Uncle Chuck was beaten 
>up pretty badly. !"

CROW: How do you pronounce '. !'?

MIKE: 'Period space exclaimation point.'

CROW: ...Right.

>They all gasp, then Sally says, "Are you sure?" "Positive. I asked my unc 
>and he told me.

MIKE: ...The Uncle that was beaten up, yes.

>Something is wrong, I can feel it.

TOM: YOUR UNCLE WAS BEATEN UP AND YOUR PARENTS ARE GONE! I THINK IT'S A 
CLUE!

MIKE: What did I tell YOU about staying frosty?

>The one thing though, I don't know who took them." They start to come out 
>of the water

CROW: So they continued their water sports while Sonic paniced... how... 
surreal.

>as Sonic gets over to Rotor's garbage/lab.

MIKE: Garbage lab?

TOM: No, no, no, it's one or the other.

CROW: Garbage.

>He skids into the garage and stops next to Rotor, who is working on another 
>devise.

MIKE: So what plan are we devising this time?

TOM: Darn! Here Crow, ten dollars.

CROW: Huh?

TOM: OH wait, that's for Jimmy.

>"Hey Rote, where is that robot detector?"

TOM: Never leave LameVille without it.

>"It is in the droor over there. What do you need it for?"

CROW: [As Sonic.] Duh, detecting cheese?

>"My mom and dad have been kidnapped." "How do you know?" "I went over there 
>and found it looking like the place went through a tornado.

MIKE: As opposed to tornados that do the moving.

>I have to find them." He grabs the detector and hands it to Rotor.

TOM: "So do my job for me well!"

>"Set it to there robot structure." "Alright Sonic. Are you going with 
>someone?" "No, this on, I go solo."

CROW: OOOH! Now the title makes sense.

>"No Sonic, you shouldn't.." "I have to. Give me the radar and let me be."

MIKE: Fine, I WON'T help you be a retard.

>Rotor takes a deep breath and says, "Alright Sonic, here ya go, ready and 
>waiting."

TOM: But courteously, I think not.

>Thank you Rote, you don't know what this means to me. I find a way to pay 
>you back. Bye!"
>He runs to his hut and grabs his backpack.

CROW: He thinks it makes him look cool.

>He stuffs the radar in there,

MIKE: Doing it as carelessly as possible.

>then runs to Sally's vest and pulls out her laser pistol.

TOM: ...Why was the vest not on her?

>He also stuffs it in the bag and runs over to the ring pool. He grabs some 
>rings he had been saving and shoves them in.

CROW: How could he save them if they disappear after twenty-four hours? 
Oops...

TOM: [Sucks in breath.] FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! ...Boy.

>He grabs Sally, gives a mad passionate kiss and says, "I'll miss you, my

MIKE: Pie giver.

>love." He takes off in the direction the radar shows him. Sally watches him 
>leave and runs into her hut. She jumps onto her bed and buries her head 
>into her pillow.

TOM: A fun new game.

>Sasha walks in, closes the door and sits next to her. Sally lifts up her 
>head and Sasha can see the pillow was already filled with tears.

CROW: Just bacon grease.

>She sees how sad Sally is and says, "Why are you crying sis?

TOM: ONION PEOPLE FROM MARS! AAHHHH!

>You know he'll be back."

MIKE: Oh please, no.

>"It (sniffle) is just that I don't (choke) Don't know when he will return! 
>Wahhhh!"

CROW: Was she doing a Lucy impression?

>Sally wails and she forces her head back into the pillow. Sasha rubs her 
>back

TOM: NO STOP! AAAHHHHH!!!

>and tries to calm her. She never seen her cry this much, Sasha thought. As 
>she tries to
>stop Sally's crying, Sonic is following the beeping radar. He stops, then 
>says "O.k.,

CROW: "Now what does this little bleep mean..."

>now that way is east, and that way is west. Then I should head this way."

TOM: Note as to how irrevelent that was.

>He revs up and takes off again. He looks straight forward, jumping over 
>rivers

MIKE: In Robo-Town?

CROW: Of oil, of course.

>and and small creeks. He come up to a canyon as he head into a desert-like 
>area.

CROW: He can't even speak in present tense right.

>He races through the canyon, staying on top of where he was going.

TOM: Then why did he race to get there?

>    When Sally finished her tear shed over Sonic's depart, she walked 
>outside and re-joined the others at the spa.

MIKE: Where do you get a spa in the middle of nowhere??

>They all neaded to relax and take some time to adjust to the disapointment.

CROW: That the bakery was out sugar cookies.

>When she enters the spa, they are already talking about the news, with 
>Bunnie and Antione this time.

TOM: And two more idiots the next time.

>"Az I waz sayeeng, I should of went weeth Soneec.

MIKE: As to provoke a murder mystery, yes.

>"Antione,

TOM: Look out! The Anti-One!

>I appreciate your bravery but this was a problem that Sonic had to do.

CROW: Viagra. That's all I'll say.

MIKE: Must you?

>Someone took his parent and that, I have a feeling, made him really mad.

TOM: Her brilliant deductive skills were going on overdrive again.

>You're better off here Antione." " I guess you right again, my princess." 
>"Ah have a question, how did who evah did this find Sugah Chuck?"

CROW: Chuck flavored sugar?

TOM: Blech.

>"That is a good question Bunnie, and one I can't answer. Mabye we should go

MIKE: AWAY!

[BREAK]

[Commercials:]
[MST:RBSL has bought the next five slots just to laugh at you.]

[END BREAK]

>investigate the hideout." "That is a good idea Sally, I'll contact the 
>Chaotix

CROW: Some sort of chaotic group of weirdos, I'd assume.

TOM: Heck, you're the authority on Mobians.

>and tell them I'll be here a little longer." "Alright, you do that. O.k. 
>everyone,
>pack up and get ready for our trip,

TOM: IT'S PICNIC TIME!

>I'll go get Sonic's brother, he'll want to know about this." Sally runs off 
>towards Akeela's home as everyone else splits up towards there huts.

MIKE: If this were all a dream, I'd have bored myself awake.

>She knocks on his door and he opens. "Yeah Sally, what do ya need?"

CROW: "The hundred you owe me."

MIKE: CROW.

>"I have some news you need to know. Can you come out here?" "Sure." " 
>"Thank you." He walks outside and tells him the bad news.

TOM: There would be no more lemon pie.

>"Akeela," She starts off, "earlier, around 8 o'clock,

CROW: [As Joe Friday from Dragnet.] It was Tuesday, man, I needed a bath 
that day.

>Sonic was outside with Knuckles, Julie-su, Tails, Sasha and I over at the 
>Spa.

TOM: It's not a spa if it isn't unnecessarily capitalized.

>Sonic left for a reason that is currently unknown, and came back saying 
>that your parents were kidnapped." "What?!?!"

CROW: For Goodness...

ALL: YOUR PARENTS WERE KIDNAPPED!

>"Sonic already left in serch of them using a robot detector.

MIKE: [As Sally.] I tried to tell him that they were with your grandparents.

>Don't worry, your brother knows what he is doing."

[All snicker.]

>"I know that, but if they harm our parents, oh they are dead, YOU GOT 
>THAT!!!!"

TOM: Well yeah, they were handed out in cute little wrappings.

>Akeela yells into the air, echoing through the sky. Beep, beep, beep.

CROW: Someone's got a foul mouth.

TOM: Just Bunnie's pager, wink wink.

MIKE: Look at what you've done, Crow. Part of you has rubbed off on Tom.

[Crow looks down.]

CROW: Liar.

>That is the sound the detector is making as Sonic nears his parents. He 
>speeds up, almost
>at the speed of sound. He looks at the radar, looks forward, looks at the 
>radar and so on.

MIKE: Ignoring what he ran into, of course.

>As he nears his parents and unc,

TOM: Wasn't Chuck still at the hideout?

>they are in a looked room, pitch black and one light shining on them, tied 
>up and on the floor.

CROW: Marcus and I have different definitions of pitch black, it seems.

MIKE: Crow, remember the green glow from the LAST time?

>Sonic's dad acts like he is asleep as a Swatbot walks by.

TOM: Robot's dont slee--

[Tom and Crow suddenly nod off.]

MIKE: Guys?

[They awaken.]

TOM: --P.

CROW: Yup.

>He looks at it as it leaves, then Destroys the rope with eye lasers.

MIKE: Something tells me these eye lasers aren't good for defending ones 
self for no reason at
all.

>He frees his wife. He pulls out a holacube

TOM: Holographical cube? How do you pick that up?

>that he got from Uncle Chuck and puts it in the darkest area so it won't be 
>found.

MIKE: But stepped on? You bet!

>He pushes a button on it and it creates a hollagram that shows they are 
>still tied up.
>They run over to the door and open it, only to be stoped by the one that 
>captured them.

CROW: Bean boy.

>The person walks in and shines a bright red light from his eyes.

TOM: Alex Trebeck?

>They back up, gaping at the sight, terrified at this single person. "No, 
>don't hurt us!"
>Sonic's dad yells. He moves in closer as they shudder and try to get away.

MIKE: I am REALLY glad it ended like that.

TOM: Segment?

CROW: Cheeseburgers.

[They file out.]

[.....1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....6.....]

[All are resting in a spa.]

BOTS: Ahhhhh...

MIKE: We never get to relax.

BOTS: Ahhhhh...

MIKE: Hey, what if being in here provokes us to talk about condoms, and sex, 
and--

[Bots quickly jump out.]

MIKE: Smart.

[Mike does so, too.]

[Mads light.]

TOM: Hmmm, more flaky crust.

[Mike taps it.]

[CF]

PEARL: Hey! We found our new Professor!

[SoL]

CROW: Really? Who?

[CF]

[Pearl shrugges.]

PEARL: Mark Pepi or something.

[Marcus pops in.]

MARCUS: Hey, waz was up?

[Observer is still poking BoBo.]

OBSERVER: Weirdo.

MARCUS: It took one ta know one!

OBSERVER: Shut up, you know nothing know-it-all!

MARCUS: Don't make me been over der!

PEARL: Both of you, shut up!! ...See what I have to deal with?

[SoL]

[All are trying not to snicker.]

ALL: Yeah.

[CF]

PEARL: Oh well, I-- hold. Marcus Pepin? Be right back. [Turns to Observer.] 
Fry em.

OBSERVER: GLEE!

[Observer causes Marcus to disappear.]

PEARL: Nice work.

[SoL]

CROW: Now you know how it feels! That's why we sent him to you--

TOM: Crow! NO!

[CF]

PEARL: You, sent him?? [Back to Observer.] You know what to do.

[Screen flickers off. And Marcus appears on the SoL.]

ALL: AHHHHH!!!

[Fanfic stuff goes off.]

ALL: AND WE HAVE SONIC IDIOCY!!

[.....6.....5.....4.....3.....2.....1.....]

[All including Marcus file in.]

CROW: I hope you know what you've done, Marcus.

MARCUS: I thought, I did.

MIKE: I sure as fudge ain't translatin'.

>    "(Now where am I?)"

TOM: The Chinese version of China-Town.

>Sonic thought to himself. He walks over to a sign. It reads, "South end of 
>Robotropolis."

CROW: South end, eh?

>"What! After all this time, all this traveling, I end up here?!?

MARCUS: This sounded familiar.

MIKE: It's your fic.

MARCUS: MY GOD!

>Well, the radar point's toward the north so, what the hell,

TOM: "I'll go west."

>it doesn't matter where the battle is fought,

CROW: Just as long as EVERYONE dies.

>I just want to get my folks back." He speeds off as fast as he can in the 
>direction of the
>beeping.

MARCUS: This was definatly mine.

TOM: Can you talk in present tense, please??

MARCUS: What waz wrong with the way I waz talkin'?

CROW: Hold on.

[Crow goes back and retrieves a line from the fic.]

CROW: This sound familiar? "No mre love making til' your old enough."

MARCUS: YAAAUGGGHH!!!!

[Marcus's head blows up, and Tom tips him over.]

MIKE: That was brief.

>He travels over the land,

ALL: And through the woods.

>dodging the laser fire that is shot by guns that were

TOM: Nonstratigically.

>stratigically put there. He passes them all up and starts to destroy all of 
>the robots

BOTS: BOOOO!!!

>that get in the way. "(These are new,

MIKE: You can tell because they keep asking the wrong questions.

>someone has been messing with Robotnik's factories.)"

CROW: Maybe, I dunno, evil.

>He slices through the robot's and

TOM: Leave the Robot's 'And' alone!

>makes his way to a familiar spot. "No way, the radar indicates that they 
>are in Uncle Chuck's
>hideout. But how can that be?

MIKE: I smell a plot twist.

CROW: That's my turkey sandwich.

>Better go down anyway." He opens the door

TOM: ...That was blown off.

>and the thing starts goin' nuts.

CROW: HEY! Get Sally outta that--

MIKE: Not after what happened to Marcus and Tom.

>"Waoh, this thing seems to be saying that I am very close."

TOM: I SERIOUSLY wonder why.

>He looks up and notices that Sally and the others were there.

CROW: Du, du, duuuuhhh!

>"Hey, what are you doing here guys?" "We came to investigate Charels' home. 
>We thought that we may find some evidence that points out who kidnapped 
>your parents and your uncle."

TOM: For the last time, his Uncle wasn't kidnapped! Just, shoved against the 
lockers.

>"Hey Sal, can I ask you a question."

CROW: Was that the question?

>"Sure." "What were we doing before I left?"

MIKE: Did you forget already?

>"You were devising a plan to stop Robotnik."

CROW: What Robotnik??

>"Aha!

TOM: Swiss cheese!

>That was not what I was doing. I was at the pool with the others. Who are 
>you and what have
>you done with my folks?!?"

MIKE: Revlon and Loreal get more guinea pigs.

>"Sally's eyes start to glow red, then the others do the same. "We meet 
>again, hedgehog."

CROW: "And this time, it isn't in Fun Crazy Wacky Land!"

>"That voice, it can't be! No, I destroyed you a long time ago with my 
>brother!"

TOM: You destroyed your brother? Wow, did he steal one fry too many?

>"Well, it seems that he is under my control now! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!" "No! 
>He roboticized all my loved ones!"

MIKE: When did this happen? Do the fics run while we're hosting??

>He starts crying, but thinks to himself "(Hey, wait a minute! She would of 
>known, weather

CROW: "The last time I believe her when she says it's sunny."

>she was roboticized or not!) They aren't real! THEY AREN'T REAL!!! 
>AHHHHH!!!!!!"

ALL: AHHHHHHHH!!!!

>He spin dashes into them all, destroying them, and runs over into another 
>room.

TOM: And that's where the left socks that disappear from the dryers are 
stored.

>He looks into the shadows and emerges a bloody figure that makes Sonic's 
>heart skip a beat.

CROW: Some sick form of hopscotch.

>A badly damaged Robotnik walks out, a chunk of his head is is missing,

MIKE: Charming.

>which was replaced with robotic technology, but still bleeding. His left 
>arm is now replaced with a robotic one like the right arm.

TOM: Jimmy Joe Bob takes out his rage.

>A chunk of his stomach is missing, but also replaced with robot parts. 
>Sonic backs away scared, but regains his courage and attacks Robotnik head 
>on.

CROW: Attacking head off prevents sight anyhow.

>He throws aaa punch,

MIKE: Brought to you by a local 'Triple A' gas station.

[Cash-register.]

MIKE: Boo-yeah!

>but he goes straight through him and quickly backs away before a door 
>closes behind him.
>He looks behind him and notices that everyone has been captured, tied up 
>and gaged.

TOM: Well, I never saw that comin'.

>He gasps at what he sees and turns to the real Robotnik, behind a computer 
>control panel.
>He looks the same as the hollagram did, just uglier.

CROW: You *know* how well holograms make you look.

>Snivley is next to him, fully roboticized.

MIKE: Someone who spells Snivley like I do!

TOM: But it's Marcus.

MIKE: ...AHHHHHHH!!!!!

>"You! You did this to the ones I love and trust!"

CROW: Nooooo, really?? I though it was the butler!

>"Yes, good plan wasn't it?"

TOM: Well, no, not really,... Sonic still found you out.

>"I am gonna make you pay!! AAARAGHH!!!" He charges at him, but is deflected 
>by a force field surounding them. He shakes his head and stands up.

CROW: "No more Mr. Needs-A-Life... duh-I mean, Nice Guy..."

>The next thing he sees is Sally up there, crying her eyes out as Robotnik 
>holds her by the ropes. Then, Akeela spins through the ropes and tries to 
>attack Robotnik.

MIKE: He's JUST thinkin' of that?

>Robotnik shoots Akeela down with a laser.

TOM: Oh darn. That sucks, how, horrible.

>Somehow, Sally gets the gag off and screams out "No!! "Shut up bitch!"

TOM: [Looking surprised.] S-sorry, Sally, I just thought that was kinda 
funny...

>Robotnik yells and he slaps Sally.

MIKE: Something reserved for Sonic alone.

>Sonic sees this and is thrown into a mad rage. Sonic Yells into the air "NO 
>YOU DON'T!!!!!"

CROW: But he already did...

>Then, all of a sudden, a blue fire surrounds Sonic.

TOM: NOT DBZ CROSSOVER!!

>He takes off straight to Robotnik and breaks through the force field,

MIKE: And explanations remain scarce.

>and delivers a devastating blow to Robotnik's face. Robotnik takes the hit,

CROW: With a side of fries.

>but returns a blow of his own. Sonic flies into the wall, but jumps of it 
>and charges back
>at him. He Sonic spins straight through Robotnik's stomach, but found that 
>he was all robotic.

TOM: DAMMIT! He has a plot now.

>He sees this, and also sees the hole in Robtnik closes up and repair 
>itself.

MIKE: They stole our nanites!

>Sonic doesn't care about his own well bieng and tries to save Sally,

CROW: Who was already pretty safe.

>but is stopped by Robotnik with a laser blast from his eyes. He screams as 
>he falls next to Sally, who is just coming out of that smack.

TOM: To your left.

>"Oh Sonic!" "Huh?" "Are you all right?" "Ya, but your face is bleeding! Are 
>you alright?"
>"I'll live."

MIKE: Or WILL you???

[All dart heads around suspiciously.]

>"Is Akeela o.k.?" "He is right over there. Watch out!!!"

CROW: Who else loves mood swings?

>Robotnik shoots a laser at Sonic, but he jumps out of the way with Sally, 
>speeds to Akeela,
>puts Sally down and says "Wake up man! I need your help!!" "Hey, was'up 
>man?"

TOM: Wasn't he shot?

>"Get your ass up and help me!" "Alright, what's the plan?"

CROW: [As Sonic.] Plan? What's a plan??

>Sonic whispers into Akeela's ear. "Oh, o.k." Akeels speeds off toward the 
>door and yells "Shoot me Robuttnik!!"

MIKE: Hey! This plan makes sense!

>"You insignificant fool! I am not stupid I know what you are doing!"

TOM: "You're being annoying! I can tell because I have SUPER deductive 
skills!"

>"To late buttnik! The plan has already worked." "WHAT!?!"

CROW: Figure it out, Butter-Face.

>"I already freed our friends and now you will be put in your rightful 
>place, the scrap pile!" "Ahhh!!" Robotnik yells as he shot at Sonic,

MIKE: What, did he miss Sonic and hit himself?

>but misses and gots a matalic uppercutt from Bunnie.

TOM: Wow, the switch from tense to tense was so sudden, I completely 
noticed!

>Then, Sally rapid fires her laser shotgun

CROW: He didn't think to take the weapons away??

>at Robotnik and blows a hole in Robotnik's head. Then, Sonic and Akeela 
>take off straight at Robotnik and both do a roundhouse kick on either sides 
>of Robotnik's head.

MIKE: His blown up head, yes.

>His face is smushed inward, he stumbles, then Sonic screams out "DOG PILE 
>ON HIS
>ASS!!!!!!!!"

TOM: Unfortunately, his detachable ass allowed him to be free when they 
piled on his butt.

>Then all of them dive onto Robotnik and start beating him up severly. 
>Robotnik doesn't even
>has a defense against this. He falls down, then yells "Help me 
>Snivley!!!!!"

[All burst out laughing.]

>He pushes a button on his arm, then spikes come out of his head and back, 
>his shoes turn red,

MIKE: Making him extra-cool.

>his body turns blue, then before you know it, Snivey turned into a giant, 
>Sonic-looking robot. "Now, you will fight my greatest creation."

TOM: Cheesy Puffs.

>"That's what you always say, and yet, It is no match for me!" "On the 
>contrary hedgehog!"

CROW: It's obviously is because he said that.

>I took the data from your speed when I last roboticized you and enhanced it 
>100 times.

MIKE: Is the author talking?

>Good luck, AHAHAHAHAAA!!" Sonic and Akeela spin dash at the robot, but 
>bounce off of it, leaving no scratch on it. Sonic pulls out the 10 rings he 
>had and gave five to Akeela.

[Crow sighs.]

>They power up with the rings and try it again. But, they bounce off of it, 
>knocking them straight

CROW: ON THEIR ASSES!

MIKE: Why did you scream like that?

>into the wall. Then, the robot just disapears and shows up right next to 
>them and gives them a

TOM: Hearty handshake.

>swift kick into there backs. Sonic thinks himself "(We are no match for 
>this! We better esacape.)" So, he signals Akeela to grab as many of the 
>freedom fighter he can and escape.

CROW: Wimps, I couldn't take him!

TOM: Exactly! We're wimps too!

>Luckily, they managed to get everybody out. They race out of Robtropolis as 
>Robtnik yells at
>them "This is the new begining!!!

MIKE: "That's what you get for hitting the reset button!"

>You will all parish!!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

CROW: Big-droopin'-deal.

>     The Freedom Fighters escape, but Robotnik still lives.

TOM: ...Duh...

>They have lost a battle,

MIKE: And dignity.

>there hearts and minds are shaken a little, but not destroyed.

CROW: Paralyzed, but not maimed.

>They reach there now, forever home, in thier minds. The forever battle 
>between good and evil still rages on, in thier hearts and in thier homes.

TOM: The OJ Trial.

>They, once again vow to destroy Robotnik and make sure that he is taken 
>down completely.

MIKE: Unplug him.

>This will be accomplished, if SONIC THE HEDGEHOG has anything to say about 
>it!

CROW: It'll no doubt be stupid.

>Finished: Saturday, May 08, 1999, 2:30:15 PM.

TOM: Started: Friday, June 23, 1854, 6:21:44 AM.

MIKE: Wow, this was a shortie.

CROW: But not short enough.

MIKE: We're out.

[All file out.]

[.....1.....2.....3.....4.....5.....6.....]

[All are on screen, trying to rebuild Marcus.]

TOM: These face molds are great, Crow.

MIKE: Ok, add a little more molasses and we're all set.

[Gypsy does.]

CROW: Did you preheat the over to 350 degrees?

TOM: Yup. Shove em' in!

[They do.]

MIKE: OK, give it two minutes.

[MADS light.]

GYPSY: What a perfect way to waste them.

[Mike taps.]

[CF]

PEARL: Hey, turns out BoBo was asleep. Amazing huh? An idiot at rest remains 
at rest until
smacked a couple times.

[Observer is still poking BoBo even though he's up and standing.]

PEARL: Looks like the Death-Clock was a flop. But a least you have the clock 
part... that
doesn't work... anyhow, how's Marcus workin' out for ya?

BOBO: That tickles Brain Guy, hehe!

[SoL]

CROW: Well, we hit a little snag when his head blew up, but we have him in 
the oven now.

[CF]

PEARL: Good good, just remember--

[SoL]

[The oven 'dings' and out comes Marcus. They remove the mold and see that 
he's without eyes,
a nose or a mouth.]

TOM: Darned it, I grabbed the 'Man Without A Face' mold.

[All groan.]

[CF]

BOBO: Marcus Pepin? I went to school with him! Hoho!

[All at Castle Forrester and on the Satellite of Love simultaneously 
respond:]

ALL: Figures.

PEARL: Anyhow,... keep those inventions coming.

[Screen zaps off.]

MIKE: Show Marcus to the airlock, Crow.

CROW: Will do.

[Crow does.]

TOM: We need better things to do than to lead people to air-locks.

[Fade out.]

[END]

----------

[If it is to your liking, I will be playing the ultra-silent end theme. You 
may have to do
it yourself if you can't hear.]

Ah, I went with a relatively short one this time. Did it in a day, [Beams 
proudly.] But I can't
call it a short short because it was still one line too long. *Grunts.* Oh 
well, I know what
I'm doing, I think. (What I also think, - and fear - is that Marcus' reign 
of terror isn't
over.) Now, catch the locations, credits, derogatory slogans, the cast of 
Wayne's World 2,
and some retail outlet stores. (Wait, wait, wait, I don't think some of 
those apply.)

Location Variants:

[www.sonicfoundation.org] - The Sonic Foundation
For all my Sonic fanfic needs.

[http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Hollow/3689/] - Khaos and Kylie's Sonic 
Zone.
For other... various... Sonic fanfic needs...

[www.tealartail.com] - Team ARTAIL
Sonic and [Wretch.] Pokemon. (Yeah, I hate Pokemon, got a problem?) One of 
the best for pics
and fics.

[http://www.emulationzone.org/sonichq/] - Sonic HQ
A must for Sonic fans. Categorized FanFiction,... and plenty of it.

[http://foobar.ml.org/sonic] - (Unknown.)
I haven't been here, but hey, Sonic episodes in Real Time.

[http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k/] - Web Site Number Nine.
THE place for Sonic, or any other type of MiST. I love that crack-house, I 
mean, webpage.

     And that be all concerning the focus of the MiST. Not much, but 
sufficient enough.
Depending on the genre, I'll add or blow up some links. And now, for your 
enjoyment, the
Tomato Soup Da- I mean, people who need to be pulled back into the 
spotlight.

     Firstly, Marcus. I ASSUME he'll be a good sport if he finds out about 
the MiST, hehe, oops.
     Firstly and a half, my bestest buddy, Alex (previous victim,) he's 
helped, I'm grateful. ;)
Live life, love life, eat pretzels, as I once told him.
     Secondly, all my, as Alex phrased it, beta readers. They pushed me into 
finishing
the thing. Lessee...
     Amber Nichols! Big help! Thanks to her for laughin' her ass off 
frequently at my jokes. ;)
     And a long time bud, under the alias of stary_traveler, who always 
managed to squeeze
in her own little smile.
     A few non Internet friend, Jonathan Elash. He seemed to love the 
derogatory crap. ;)
     Ashley and Jackie Mathews. They've don't even know what a MiST IS, but 
they just think
I'm really funny, hehe.
     Krista Johnson!! I love you!! I love you!!... Platonically!! Her little 
brother is a great
target for jokes, and she helps me make up words.
     Irena... anyhow, her last name is REALLY hard to pronounce. But, I'm 
her baby... for some
reason... making her my... mom... no, that's not right... But SHE thinks I'm 
a riot, when
stoned. (Which I never am, thank you very much.)
     Saturday Night Live! Funny ASS shit!
     And like I mentioned, Bill Watterson and Gary Larson, love those guys! 
(I like Calvin's
Dad, hehehe.)
     And my parents! Yes, my parents for laughing their asses off, too! And 
whoever I
missed, well, I missed you with love. :) And, 'I have no enemies, but the 
ones I dislike know
who you are!' (YEAH! Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst everybody! 'Three Dollar 
Bill!') I'm done
pluggin'.
     And my true identity, (What true identity????) remains unknown. ;) And 
to end on a high
note, I am hatless at the moment. Later!

Contact Vitals:

AIM:
[Mike256bit]
[Hardly on recently.]

ICQ:
[49168605]
[On CONSTANTLY.]

E-MAIL:
[mike_256bit@hotmail.com]
[Hey, I'm EAGER for feedback, but Flames while be laughed at, stored in a 
special folder, and
taken back out for further comic relief.]

HOMEPAGE: [IT NEEDS WORK!]
Tails' Hut - [www.homestead.com/tails_hut/FrontDoor.html]
[I need to be motivated to work on it.]

CONSTANT VISITATION:
Yahoo Poker Chat Room: Social Lounge - [play.yahoo.com] (You'll figure it 
out from there.)
Logged in as: [Mike256bit]

[And of course, the 'Real End.']


>>"No mre love making til' your old enough."

--

>>"Someone took his parent and that, I have a feeling, made him really mad."


[BREAK]

[Commercials:]
[Another guy gets made fun of because he gets PC Gamer magazine,]
[A 'Ways to buy books' book is now released,]
[And to battle that, a 'Completely ludicrous things' book,]
[Death-Clocks made it to the market,]
[A 'Real World' ad saying '...when they stop being nice, and start getting 
cheesecake...']

[A movie that is just... unexplainable.]

[RECENT EPISODES:]

[01: Percussion: The Cymbal's Luster (Sonic/Insertion)]