Prower Science Theater 3000 Episode 102 - The T-Bone Saga [Note: This MiSTing is set in the John Berry universe (i.e. Mobius).] Season 1 Theme Song : [identical to MST3K Season 8 Theme, except for last line "For Prower Science Theater, 3000!"] [Door 1 - A door slides from the ground to the ceiling.] [Door 2 - A glass door slides from the right to the left. Has number "2" on it.] [Door 3 - Two vertical strips go from floor to ceiling, three do vice-versa. The three middle strips combine to make "3".] [Door 4 - An iris hatch contracts, with "4" on each of the pedals.] [Door 5 - Two triangles combine to form a wall. They both have "5" painted on them.] [Door 6 - A vertical and horizontal dogbone crisscross each other. The horizontal one is in front, and has "6" painted in the center.] [Door 7 - The dogbone door from Season 8 of MST3K.] [INT SoL. The WildServo/WildCrow from Episode 101 is in the center, while Mike is in the "cock pit" adjusting some controls. Tom and Crow are looking over his shoulder, not seeing they're on.] Tom : That's the spirit, Mike! Insert those doohichies in that whatzigger! Mike : [To Tom] Shh!! [turns to Cambot, then realizes they're on] Oh, hello. We're just adjusting the controls to the WildServo and/or WildCrow to see if this baby will fly. > The T-Bone Saga All : Huh? > By T-Bone Crow : Hey! We're not supposed to get this yet! [Mobius, interior of a hut. Pearl is standing on the front of the screen, while Observer and Bobo are playing Hungry-Hungry-Hippos in the background.] Pearl: Sorry, Nelson. Just a little technical trouble. I wasn't supposed to send you the fanfic until about five minutes from now. The point being, Mike, That was your fanfic for today. The prequel to Wildcat Alley. [INT SoL. Crow has a gun pointed at Mike, Mike at Servo, and Servo at Crow.] Mike : Don't worry, Pearl. We've already got a plan for this. [Gypsy walks in from stage right] Gypsy: Hey guys! What're you - [sees guns] AAAAHHH! [eats all of the guns] MT&C : Hey! Gypsy: What have I told you about commiting suicide before the experiment starts? MT&C : [in unison] Sorry, Gypsy. Gypsy: Sorry won't do it, Nelson and pals! Now do you plan to stop attempted murdering of each other? MT&C : [in unison] Yes, Gypsy. Gypsy: Now, you behave! Let the evil Pearl handle the rest of this. [Gypsy walks off to stage right] [Mobius, same as before] Pearl: Anyway, Nelson - [cut off by Observer] Observer: Ooh, I won another game! Bobo : No fair! You used your mind! Observer: Nobody said you couldn't. Pearl: [seems frustrated] Bobo : I'll look in the booklet! [picks up booklet, flips through some pages] Ah-ha! Right there! [points to page] "Really pale guys called Observers aren't allowed to use their mind in Hungry-Hungry-Hippos." Observer: Give me that! [yanks booklet from Bobo's hand and looks over it] Well I'll be. Pearl: [to O&B] Hello! I'm trying to perform an evil experiment here that will help me rule all of mankind! And I'm being postponed by a brain guy and a chimpanzee with the IQ of Forrest Gump! Bobo : I'm not a Chimp! I'm an Ape! Son of Koko... Pearl: Shut your piehole! [Bobo stops, Pearl turns towards Camera] Here's a little fanfiction peice that will blow your mind. And yes, you do have to re-read the last two lines. [SoL] All : Awwwww..... [lights go hectic] Mike : Movie sign! AAAAHHHH! [chaos ensues] [7...6...5...4...3...2...*] > The T-Bone Saga Crow : Which is currently in competition with box office success "The Sirloin Saga!" > By T-Bone Tom : [sniffs] I smell self-insertion. > Part Mike : Oh, god. Crow : The author doesn't even know what part we're on. Tom : AAARGH! [dome explodes] Mike : [coughing] That's the second time he's done that before an experiment has even started. [smoke clears] > The Mission Tom : ... for plot development! Crow : In a *T-Bone* fanfic? That would take years. > > >All credits to characters will be Mike : ... not given, due to the fact that I would get sued. >in the final part of The T-Bone Saga. Tom : The T-Bone Saga - when steak goes bad! > > >Scene 1 Crow : Well, he knows what *scene* we're on. >Area 51 Mike : Okay, no cow, steak, or beef jokes from here on. Bots : Fine. > > > Area 51 . Crow : The world's top producer of beef. [Mike punches him] Ow! Mike : I called it, didn't I? >The top secret military base that has been kept secret from the public has now >disovered somthing unbelievable. As a helicopter aproched Tom : Is that pronounced aproked? >Area 51 General Mike Harris was >sitting in the chopper drinking a cup of coffie. "How far are we from the base?" He asked. Crow : "It depends - do you wanna jump or land?" > > "We should be there in a few minutes." > > The chopper landed in the heli pad. Waiting at the pad was Major Frank Sharpe. Mike : With companion Minor Steve Flatt. >"Welcome to Area 51." He saluted. > > "Thank you Major. I came as soon as I heard Tom : That you guys had Billy Beer. >what your scientists discovered." Crow : Well, you gotta admit, it is pretty incredible what planes can do with *two* wings instead of one. > > "Its more amazing than the alien ship we found in New Mexico. But first I want to show >you somthing else." All : Ewwww!!! > > "What is it." Crow : "It's big, and long, and hairy." Mike : Crow! Crow : Jeez, I was just refering to a tail! Mike : Oh. > > "Lets go in first. I don't want to say it here." > > >Scene 2 Tom : Major Sharpe's bedroom, I bet. >Inside Area 51 > > > They went down a elevator which went down five base ments. "How far are we going?" >Gen. Harris asked. > > "Its just in the next room. Look at the window." Mike : Marvelous! Look at the framework and the craftmanship... oh, the thing *inside* the window. > > They both looked at the window and saw somthing that shocked the General. "What is >that?" He said shockly. Crow : Some guy from Tennessee named "Earl". > > "His name is Lieutenant Sergio Hernandez." Mike : SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGIOOOOOOOOOOO! > > "What happened to him?" > > "Its a long story. He volunteered for a genetics experement that will enhanced his >strength and speed. But it went his outer feature changed. He now looks like a humanoid >wolf. He also lost vision to his left eye but we replaced it with a robotic eye." Tom : *yawns* > > "Let me see his records." > > "He graduated at West Crow : Side University? > Point Crow : Oh. > a year early do to his astonishing record. He then was told >of this project and jumped at the oppritunity. His father died in Desert Storm and his >grandfather served in the Vietnam War." Tom : ... And this is relevant because...? > > "Lt. Miguel Hernandez was his father. He saved 20 P.O.W's and died while doing it I >remember because I gave his wife the Medal of Honor." > > "His wife also died a year later so the medal was given to his son." Tom : His son also died a year later so the medal was given to his sister. And his sister also died... > > "I would like to meet after you show me the other thing." > > "Yes sir. We have to go deeper in the base." > > >Scene 3 >The Relm Mike : Not to be confused with the correctly-spelled "Realm". > > > "Where are we Major?" Gen. Harris asked. Tom : We're in my bedroom! Like it? > > "We are 200 feet below Area 51" Maj. Sharpe replied. " Here is professor Donaldson." Crow : [Donald Duck] Hello, folks! > > "Hello General welcome to the Relm." Prof. Donaldson said. > > "The relm? What do you mean?" Mike : Anything but a "realm". > > "OPEN THE GATE!" All : AAAHHHH!!!!! Crow : Not so loud, dickweed! >Prof. Donaldson yelled. Tom : Thanks for clearing that up. I thought he just "said" that. > > A gate opened and inside was a portal. "What in gods name is that?" Gen. Harris asked shockly. Mike : Come on! He has to admit he made that one up. > > "A dimensional portal." Prof. Donaldson said. > > "Amazing when did you guys discover this?" Crow : As soon as T-Bone wanted a self-insertion fanfic. > > "A month ago. We did some tests. Only a few people know about this. Not even the >president knows about this." Maj. Sharpe said. Tom : Clinton would probably have sex with it, anyway. > > > "Professor Donaldson." The probe is coming through the portal." Somebody said. > Mike : Oh, it's just an unpaid extra. > "Major, General come lets go see what the probe discovered." > > The probe came out of the portal and everybody gathered around it. "Hook it up to the >t.v. so we can see what we discovered." Prof. Donaldson said. > > But he was interrupted the probe changed into crystal all of a sudden. "What happened?" >Gen. Harris asked. Crow : Welp, I'm lost. > > "Damn. It turned into crystal again. So this means what ever goes through the portal >comes back and turns into crystal." Prof. Donaldson said. Tom : Brillant observation, Mister Duck! I mean, uh, Professor. Heh. > > "So what are we gonna do to put somebody through it." Maj. Sharpe said. > > "Yeah. How about we put Lt. Hernandez through it." Prof. Donaldson said. Mike : I don't think he's suffered enough. Let's perform some more experiments on him! > > "No way in hell he is gonna go through there!" Gen. Harris yelled Crow : "He's too fat!" > > "We will find a way to bring him back without turning into crystal. Besides he cannot do >anything here. He is no longer human. For all we know that dimension might have species >that will look like him." Prof. Donaldson said. Tom : "For all we know, he could end up in the universe of his favorite video game, and become one of their freinds within hours due to plot conveinences! Of course, what are the odds of *that* happening?" > > "I don't know. Should we Major?" Mike : "No, let's Minor." > > "I think we should for Lt. Hernandez. He does not deserve to be an outcast." Crow : "He deserves to be thrown into a dimensional portal." > > "All right call him up tell him to be in Maj. Sharpe's office." > > >Scene 4 >Maj. Sharpe's Office > > "Sir you called." Lt. Hernandez saluted. "GENERAL!" Tom : "PYLE!" > > Lt. Hernadez came with his robotic eye and his wolf like appearance. Mike : He never left home without it. >"Lt. Hernandez I'd >like you to Crow : Die. Er, I mean... >meet Gen. Harris." Crow : Yeah, that's what I meant. > > "Good to see you Sergio. I knew your father. He was a good man." > > "Thank you sir." > > "Lt. Hernadez we have a mission for you." > > "What is it?" Mike : "Can my fish come?" > > "Just a month ago we disocvered a portal to another dimension. Tom : Possibly Mobius. >Now when ever we send >somthing over there it comes back and turns into crystal. We Mike : Plan this will happen to you. That's why the mission is so urgent. >need you to explore that >portal. But one thing you may never come back. This mission is your choice. You don't have >to take it." Gen. Harris explained. Crow : "Well, I'm pretty sure you don't. Well, er, uh, yeah, you do have to take it. Sharpe, where's my tranqulizer gun?" > > "What do I have to lose. I'll do it. I want a code name." > > "What is it?" Maj. Sharpe asked. Tom : "It can't be the name 'Keith Aksland', 'Ryan Huber', or 'Michael Prower' because we've already sent people with those codenames through." > > "T-Bone." Mike : Wait until dinner! > > >Scene 5 >The Relm > > > Lt. Hernandez came out Crow : Uh-oh. We're on the fruitiness spree again. Mike : Crow! >wearing his military uniform. Behind him was Tom : The late Elvis Presley? Crow : A box of Trojans? Mike : The script? Crow : Come on, Mike. He'd throw that away when he got it. >a hummer full of >his stuff including a mini trailer behind him. Clothes, Electronic equipment, and of coarse >weapons. "So looks like everything is ready." T-Bone said. Mike : So does? > > "T-Bone take this." Prof. Donaldson said. "Its a plasma cannon. It lasts for five hours and >then you must recharge ot for one hour." Tom : You know how to speak German, Donaldson? Crow : Die, T-Bone, Die! Tom : Wow, I guess you do! Crow : Who said I was speaking German? > > "Thanks professor." > > "Good luck." Prof. Donaldson said. > > "Well T-Bone I guess this is good bye. Your father would have been proud. Mike : "Until he found out you were a loser." >" Gen. Harris >said. " Good luck." > > "Good luck." Maj. Sharpe said. > > "Thanks you General, Thank you Major. I'm ready to go into the portal." > > T-Bone went into his hummer and drove into the portal slowly. As he got in the portal >closed. As he does not know what is gonna happen to him. Tom : He were? > > >To Be Continued. Crow : That phrase just caused 50 heart attacks across the United States. >Next: The Chase Mike : Plot development being in last place, as usual. > > Tom : Can we go, Mike? Mike : After the next part. > The T-Bone Saga > By T-Bone Crow : [announcer voice] This fanfiction peice brought to you by the beef council. > Part 2 All : [sigh of relief] Mike : At least we know what part we're on, now. Tom : If that helped, I'd be very appreciative. > The Chase > > >Scene 1 >The Middle of Nowhere > > > T-Bone came out of the portal and he found himself in the middle of nowhere. Mike : ... As was already suggested in the title of this scene. >He was Tom : In the middle of nowhere, as previously discussed. >confuesd. Crow : I'd be confuesd, too, if I was confuesd. >Was he in earth but in another part? Was he dead and he is in the Crossroads? But >then he saw somthing. All : Hi, Somthing! >He saw some type of vehicle it was hovering and on top of it was some >figures. Tom : Uh... anybody here get that? Mike : Nope. Crow : Not a clue. >T-Bone got out of the Hummer and walked towards the vehicle. He waved his hands Tom : Ironically enough, T-Bone was listening to Our Lady Peace while writing this. >to >get their attention. the vehicle stopped and a door opend and out came out a figure with black Crow : Hey, the Men in Black are here to save the day! All : [dully] Yaaay. >armor and said. "Freeze or you will be teminated." In a emotionless type of voice. > > "The hell I won't!" T-Bone replied getting out his 9mm. Crow : Ugh... Mike : Gun, Crow. His nine millimeter gun. Crow : Mike, how unlike you! Mike : Crow! > > "NOW!" Someone yelled. > > Sonic the Hedgehog, Sally Acorn, EG Foxfire, Davey Crocket, and Shades the Enchina >jumped Tom : T-Bone, leaving him lying in the road after they were done. >off the top of the hovercraft. Davey shot the Swatbot. "Sally the coast is clear. Get in the >hovercraft and get the info." Davey said. > > A swatbot came towards Davey and was getting ready to shoot him. "LOOK OUT!" >T-Bone yelled. > > T-Bone shot the Swatbot with his 9mm. "Thanks." Davey said. Crow : Hey, I trust you completely! > > "Who the hell are you?" Sonic asked. Mike : [deep voice] I'm Batman! > > "Damn!" Sally said. Tom : I'm not Damn! Take that back, dammit! > > "Whats the matter Sally?" EG Foxfire asked. > > "They don't have the info we are looking for. This must have been a decoy." Sally >replied. > > "Hey you guys there are some Stealthbots on the way. We better get out of here." >Shades said. Crow : Who's Shades? Tom : Somebody who was in a fanfic that nobody ever has read. Mike : Except for T-Bone. > > "You guys can ride with me." T-Bone said. > > "Who are you?" Sally asked. Crow : Who cares? I'm sure he won't harm us at all, because he did something that did something else. > > "No time for that. He saved my life. I trust him. Mike : David! Don't you remember what happened *yesterday* when that person from another world came? >Lets go in his Hummer." Davey said. > > They all went into the Hummer and T-Bone pushed on the gas and headed towards the >Great Forest. But the Stealthbots were hot on their trail. "We are not losing them." Shades said. > > In the middle of T-Bone Tom : Was the stomach and chest, as well as the spleen and pectoral muscle groups. >and the passenger's seat was a compartment. T-Bone opened it. >It had lots of buttons. "Lets see here back homing missiles. FIRE!" T-Bone yelled. > > Two homing missiled fired Crow : Missiled? Isn't that an adverb? >from the back of the Hummer and blew up two Stealthbots. >But ther were still more. "Okay hyperdrive. Mike : Hey! We're now in a Star Wars fanfiction! >NOW!" T-Bone yelled. > > The Hummer went as fast as Sonic goes when he uses a power ring. The Hummer drove >into the forest. "Hey we lost them. Cool ride." EG Foxfire said. Tom : This story is just an excuse to have all self-insertion characters ever made to be in one fanfic. > > >Scene 2 >The Great Forest > > > As T-Bone was driving he all of a sudden slammed the brakes. "Wait a minute. This >can't be real. I can't be in Mobius." Mike : Somebody's a little slow today. > > "Well it sure as hell ain't Kansas." Sonic said. Crow : We're in Wyoming, my freind! > > "Sonic shut up." Sally said. "This is real. My name is...." Tom : Larry Flint. Crow : Stephen King. Mike : Mr. Ed. Tom : John Doe. Crow : Speed Racer. Mike : Mike Tyson. > > "I know you are Princess Sally Acorn, Sonic the Hedgehog, Davey Crocket, Eg Foxfire, >and Shades." > > "Come on lets go home." Davey said. "We'll talk about this at Knothole." Crow : Later that day at Knothole, the Freedom Fighters spotted yet another person from another world landing on their planet. > > >Scene 3 >Knothole > > Everybody in Knothole gathered around Sally's hut to see the new figure. While >Davey, Sonic, Uncle Chuck, and Sally were inside with T-Bone. "Whats your name son?" Uncle >Chuck asked. Mike : Duh, Larry. > > "Lt. Sergio Hernandez code name T-Bone, my mission is to explore this dimension." Tom : "As well as co-star in several cheesy fanfiction peices." > T- >Bone replied. > > "So you were from Earth." Davey said. > > "How did you get here?" Sally asked. Crow : "Oh, the usual. Super-secret portal in Area 51, transported through, lost all family and freinds, and ended up in my favorite video game and/or cartoon show. Nothing odd." > > "From a top secret military base. Area 51." > > "So there was a secret base. Was there really a alien ship in New Mexico?" >Davey asked. Tom : "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." > > "If I told you I'll have to kill you." Tom : Hey! He ripped off my joke, pulled out a comma, and changed the tense in mid-sentence! >T-Bone said sarcasticly. "Yeah there was a alien ship. >But I didn't see it they thought I wolud tell the Press." Mike : English is not my first languig, yu c. > > "How do you turn into a wolf?" Sally asked. Crow : Hey! How did he become a metamorph? Mike : An attempt at plot development. > > "By a genetics exeriment. I am now able to lift ten times my weight and run 60 miles per >hour. But somthing went wrong my outer feature changed into a humanoid wolf because of the >wolf DNA they put in me I also lost vision to my left eye but they replaced it with a robotic eye." Tom : They took all my commas and periods too I'll get them for that. > > "Well as long as you can't run faster than me. Your cool with me." Sonic said. > Mike : Hey, give me back my cool! > "T-Bone can you leave us for a second?" Sally asked. > > "Yeah. Sure." T-Bone replied. Crow : Whatever. > > T-Bone left the hut and the crowd followed him. "So what are we gonna do with him?" Tom : Let's send him cheesy movies! Crow : The worst we can find! Bots : La la la! Mike : That sounds vaguely farmiliar... >Sally asked. > > "He can't go back home. Let's make him a Freedom Fighter." Davey replied. > > "Yeah we'll put him through the obsticle coarse to see what he can do." Sonic said. > > While they were talking the were interrupted by some loud music. "What the >hell was that?" Sonic asked. Mike : So he played the music for a second, then turned it off? > > "Rap music." Dave said. They went outside an they saw some Freedom Fighters Crow : Getting trampled by deer. Mike : [makes splat noise] >dancing. "What is this T-Bone?" Sally asked. > > "Tu-Pac, California Love." T-Bone replied. > > "This song is way past cool." Sonic said. Tom : Strange. I thought Sonic was a headbanger. > > Nobody exept for Davey has ever heard rap music before but they liked it. "T-Bone. Mike : You're the one who's be stealing our commas. Aren't you? >We need you to go to thr obsticle Crow : Throbsticle? >with us." Sally said. > > "Why?" Tom : "Why not?" > > "To see what you can do." Davey replied. T-Bone, Sonic, Sally, and Davey went off to >the Freedom Fighter Training Coarse. Mike : [humms Mister Ed song] > > > >To Be Continued >Next: Basic Training Crow : Funding for this story for this story brought to you by "Sufferers Like You". All : Let's go! [all make "Woo, Packers!" type noises] Mike : [picks up Tom] I feel we have a long way to go. [all file out of theater] [*...2...3...4...5...6...7] [INT SoL. Tom and Crow are standing next to a large jungle gym, with lots of slides and tubes. It looks like something from a McDonalds playground.] Tom : Do you really think this is neccessary? Crow : Of course. [Mike comes from stage right] Mike : Hey, guys! What's the jungle gym for? Tom : Well, you know how T-Bone has to go through an obstacle course to join up with the Freedom Fighters? Mike : Yeah... Crow : Well, you didn't have to go through an obstacle course when you got to the SoL, did you? Mike : Well, no... Tom : So Crow and I decided that it was better late than never! Mike : Wait. I have to go through the obstacle course to watch cheesy movies with you guys? Crow : Well... yeah. Mike : And if I fail, I don't get to watch cheesy fanfics and movies with you guys. Tom : Um... yeah, I guess so. Mike : In that case, I don't want to do it. [Mike leaves] Tom : Crow! You said the plan was foolproof! Crow : Well, I guess Mike isn't a fool, now is he? [commercial light] Tom : We'll be right back. Crow : What'll we do with the obstacle course? Tom : Let's send it to China! Crow : Good idea! [bots go off to stage left] [commercials] [all file into theater] > > The T-Bone Saga Mike : T-Bone must've been drunk when he wrote that. He didn't center it. > By T-Bone > Part 3 > Basic Training > > > Tom : So much space! >Scene 1 >Freedom Fighter Training Coarse > > > T-Bone, Sonic, Sally, and Davey was now at the Freedom Fighters Training Coarse >where T-Bone is gonna show what he can do. Crow : Well, we can tell T-Bone didn't get better at writing over the course of that break. >" All right T-Bone you have to climb a wall, Mike : A whole three feet? Aww, shucks. >then go >through the monkey bars, run for 100 yards while you have to dodge fake Swatbots, Tom : Ooh, toughie! Crow : Dodge cardboard cut-outs that can be knocked down by winds of 3mph! >then grab >the rope and swing above the pit." Sally explained. Mike : Oh, yeah, that pit is full of alligators. So don't fall in. That's how we lost the *last* person that came here. > > "The record is five minutes. By me." Sonic said. > > "Are you ready? Tom : To RUUUMMMMMMBLEEEEE!!! >" Davey asked. > > "Yeah." T-Bone said. > > "Good Luck." Sally said. > > T-Bone started the coarse. Mike : He's a hoarse, of coarse! >He climbed the wall with ease, Crow : All he had to do was step over it. Yeesh. >then went through the monkey >bars in a few seconds, next was the 100 yard dash with the fake Swatbots he used his enhanced >speed and got out his 9mm and fired at the Swatbots, still with his speed T-Bone jumped for the >rope grabed it and swung across the pit, finally T-Bone made the finish line. Tom : Wow! I'm gonna submit that sentence to the Guiness Book of World records! >"3:35. Its a new >record." Sally said. Crow : Of course, that's only 'cuz your the authors creation and stuff. > > "No fair. He used a gun. Thats against the rules." Sonic complained. > > "There are no rules to war." T-Bone said. Mike : Unless there's a United Nations in Mobius. > > "He's got you there Sonic." Davey said. "Looks like we have a new Freedom Fighter." Tom : He's standing right next to T-Bone. >Davey said. Mike : Hey! Two different Davey clones! > > "Tonight we celebrate the new Freedom Fighter." Sally said. > > >Scene 2 >Knothole Center > > > Everbody gathered around the center of Knothole and T-Bone came wearing army >pants and boot with a Jerry Rice 49er jersey and a blue & grey hat that said the WESTSIDE! Tom : The WESTSIDE! With new Glaxol coating! >"To all Freedom Fighters" Sally announced. "I am proud to introduce our new Freedom Fighter. >T-Bone!" > > T-Bone came to the podium and the crowd was cheering. "We'll I ain't that much for >speeches. But I'm gald Crow : Gald? Mike : [pats Crow's shoulder] It's a disease, I think. >to be a part of this crew. So now LETS PARTY!!" Mike : DO THE HUSSLE! Do do do do do do do do.... > > T-Bone went to his Hummer to turn on the music. He put his Foxy Brown c.d. on >he also got out a cooler that had some 40's in it. "Hey T-Bone what are those?" EG Foxfire >asked. Tom : They're tic-tacs. You need one. > > "They are called 40's. Malt liquor." > > "Can I try one?" > > "Your to young." Crow : What about my to young? > > "Just give me one it isn't gonna hurt." Mike : "I'll only go around drunkenly cussing at Freedom Fighters and have unprotected sex with people I don't know!" > > "Well all right." Tom : This fanfiction peice supports underage drinking. > > T-Bone gave EG Foxfire a 40 she took a sip. Seconds later she didn't look so good. Mike : Her face had melted into a bagel! >"I don't feel good." She said. "I think I'm gonna throw up." > > She ran behind some bushes and threw up. Whlie everybody else was laughing. All : Injury is funny! >"T-Bone >I need to talk to you." Sally said. > > "About what?" T-Bone asked. Crow : You stole my remote, didn't you! COMMY BASTARD! > > "The reason why we attacked that hovercraft is because we need to find the location on >Doom Island." Tom : "Which, in actuallity, is a peninsula." > > "Whats Doom Island?" > > "Thats what we are trying to find out. Nicole intercepeted a transmission that said >Project Doom Island. Thats all we know but I know its bad." Crow : Wait. That's all we know, but I know something else? > > "Don't worry we'll find out the location." Mike : "See, there's this little thing called 'fanfic luck'." > > "Also one more thing. Tomorrow we are gonna build your hut so tonight you'll >have to sleep in Davey's hut." Crow : See, Mike! I told you! Mike : I'm starting to see your point. Tom : [shudders] What would happen if Davey and T-Bone inbred? All : [shudder] > > "Thats all right I have a tent I'll set that up. Now come on lets dance." > > Everybody was dancing to T-Bone's music. Tom : Which truely was the Gilligan's Island theme song. >It was one of the biggest parties they have >ever had. "Hey Davey do you think T-Bone is ready for the Freedom Fighters?" Sonia asked. Tom : Hey! A new character! Mike : I think it's a typo. > > "Is the Freedom Fighters ready for T-Bone." Crow : Somebody fell asleep during their "Schoolhouse Rock". > > >Scene 3 >Robotropolis > > > Robotropolis once the Mobotropolis the center for peace it was invaded by Dr. Ivo >Robotnik as he roboticized almost everybody except for the Freedom Fighters. Tom : Duh... wha? >Now in his >headquarters Robotnik was Mike : Eating a jelly doughnut. >planning on the Doom Island Project. "Snivley!" Robotnik yelled. >"How did the Freedom Fighters escape this time? You said this trap would get." Tom : Patience you must have, Robotnik. Learn you must. > > "I will show you with the cam bot." All : Booooooooo!!! Mike : Don't take our characters into your fanfic! >Snivley replied. > > They were watching what happend and they saw T-Bone came through the portal >and helped them escape. "Who is that?" Robotnik asked. Crow : Oh, the usual. Some guy transported from another dimension, finds freinds here on Mobius, gets trusted within minutes. Nothing new. > > "I don't know sir." Snivley replied. > > "He appears to be from Earth zoom in on his uniform." > > Snivley zoomed in to T-Bone's name tag it said Lt. Hernandez U.S Army. "He is from >the United States Army." Mike : How do the people from another dimension know about the U.S.? Tom : I guess we're just a universal country. > > "So King Acorn did not send him in. The U.S. Military did. But for what reason?" > > "Maybe they are planing to attack us and he is just a scout." Crow : "Maybe Hernandez was a freindless loser on his home planet, and was sent here to find some freinds!" > > "Bring me IG-89." > > IG-89 came to Robotnik. He looked like a Swatbot but bigger and had more weapons >then any other Swatbot. He also had artificial intellagence. Mike : If this was the self-insertion character description, I would have died. Crow : It's rather ironic that he misspelled intelligence, isn't it? Tom : Hey, you spelled it wrong in "Wildcat Alley". Crow : Oh, come on. The author was just studying for his Spanish quiz. What would you expect? Mike : Calm down. >"You called me sir. Tom : I'm very moved by you calling me sir! >" He said. Crow : Leave me out of this! > > "You see that person in the screen." Robotnik said. "If he ever comes here >bring him to me." > > "Yes sir." IG-89 replied. > > "I want to know what he is doing here." Mike : "And whether he sells girl scout cookies." > > >To Be Continued All : Boooooo!!! >Next: T-Bone vs. IG-89 Tom : Can we go, Mike? Mike : Next part. > The T-Bone Saga > By T-Bone Crow : Disclaimer : This is not a self-insertion fanfic. T-Bone in no way represents me, the author, T-Bone. > Part 4 > T-Bone vs. IG-89 Tom : The two meatiest competitors collide! Crow : In the blue corner, we have, respresenting the Beef Council, T-Bone! Mike : In the red corner, we have "The Pork Man" alive, IG-89! > > > >Scene 1 >Knothole > > > It was morning at Knothole. Mike : That's the most informative sentence in this whole fanfic. >T-Bone was sleeping in his tent when he was awaken >by Tails. Crow : You better not have stole any of my 40's, Tails. >"T-Bone wake up." he said. Tom : I wasn't having dirty thoughts about Captain Planet! Oh, it's you, Tails. Heh. > > "What is it?" T-Bone asked > > "We're gonna build your hut in a couple of minutes come on and help." Tails replied. > > "I'll be there in a little bit. First I got to do somthing." Crow : [shudders] Mike : I gotta admit, that was kind of odd. Tom : And weird. > > T-Bone got out of the tent and said to himself. "I got to check out Robotropolis >myself and have a talk to Robotnik. Tom : "We'll settle our dispute on Jerry Springer." >" He then went to his Hummer and drove to Robotropolis >without no one knowing. Mike : Hey! Double negative! Tom : That means somebody knew? > > Meanwhile Sally was at her hut looking in a magnifying glass when Sonic came in. Crow : Sonic! Put on some clothes - ooh... through the magnifying glass, *everything* looks bigger... >"Hey Sal. What cha doing?" Sonic asked. > > "I'm looking at a blood sample from T-Bone. He gave it to me after Mike : "Tails bit his face off." >he went through >the training coarse. Its amazing his genetic code has been changed. His human DNA was >mixed with a wolf, a cheeta, Bots : Torch-aaa!! >and other animals." > > "Talk about a melting pot. Tom : "Breakfast sure does smell good." >" Sonic said. > > "There are other things that I have never saw before. I guess thats what gave him his >super strength, and fast healing." Crow : Who ever said anything about fast healing? > > "How do you know all this?" Mike : I read the script ahead of time. > > "We talked before the celebration. He was born in a city called East Los Angeles. >He is chicano." > > "What is a chicano?" > > "A Mexican-American. His father died in a war called Desert Storm while trying to >save some prisoners. He got the Medal of Honor for that. T-Bone went to a college called >West Point where he graduated a year early since Tom : "He just made this character up and can do whatever he wants. u 'Cuz T-Bone rules n' stuff." >his good grades and his good leadership. >He then was Lt. Sergio Hernandez and was stationed in a secret military base called Area 51." > > "I know the rest. Crow : "Guy gets transported to favorite cartoon show. Happens all the time." >" Sonic said. > > "T-Bone had such a hard life but unlike Davey he still wants to go back." > > Tails came into Sally's hut with a worried look. "Aunt Sally, Sonic T-Bone Mike : Hey, a new character! >is gone. His Hummer is gone too." Tails said. > > "Where did he go Tom : [singing] Without ever knowing the way? >?" Sonic asked. > > "I don't know. But we need to form a search party. Me, Bunnie, and Tails Crow : Who's talking here? I thought Tails was. Mike : Me, Bunnie, and my robotic clone... >will take >the hovercraft to search by air. While You, Tom : Who? Mike : Hugh Jass. >Davey, EG Foxfire, and Shades search on the >ground." Sally said. > > >Scene 2 >Robotropolis > > > T-Bone arrived at Robotropolis and got out of his Hummer. He looked around and >saw all the junk and pollution that was all over this city. "This place stinks. I can't beleive All : It's not butter! >that this was a the greatest city of Mobius." T-Bone said to Tom : A bread crumb. >himself. > > As that was happening IG-89 and five Swatbots were behind him. "Prepare to >attack." IG-89 said. "He is no good to Robotnik dead." > > T-Bone was well aware about the ambush and he turned around with his plasma >cannon and started firing at the Swatbots. Instantly destroying two bots. Crow : Could we have a subject, please? >He then hid >behind a big pile of junk and started Mike : Eating pudding. >firing agin destroying the other three Swatbots. >It was then T-Bone and IG-89. IG-89 went to attack by shooting at T-Bone but T-Bone Tom : Kept on mentioning his name in the same sentence. >moved out the way and started firing at IG-89. Then T-Bone jump kicked IG-89 to >the ground. As IG-89 tried to get up but T-Bone then did a uppercut. Then T-Bone got >out his plasma cannon again. "I know you don't want to be looking like any of this junk >so you better stay there." T-Bone said while aiming his plasma cannon at IG-89. Crow : That was the climax? > > "What do you want? Tom : [singing] "I'll tell you what I what, what I really really want!" >" IG-89 asked. > > "I want to speak to Robotnik." > > "Why?" > > "Thats for me to know and you to find out." > > >Scene 3 >The Great Forest Mike : All forests are great, man. > > The search was on for T-Bone. The Freedom Fighters did not know that T-Bone went >to Robotropolis. So they searched for T-Bone in the Great Forest. "Have you guys found him >down there?" Sally asked Sonic in her wrist com. Crow : Nope, but we've decided to nuke the forest instead! > > "No chance Sal. Its like he disappeared." > > "He's got to be here." > > "What if he went to Robotropolis?" EG Foxfire asked. Tom : That would cause plot development. Don't even *think* about that happening. > > "Then T-Bone would be crazyer then me." Davey replied. > > "Well we still need to keep searching. If all else fails then we have to Mike : Go make sandwiches. >go >to Robotropolis." Sally said. > > >Scene 4 >Robotnik's Lair > > > T-Bone entered Robotniks lair and Robotnik was sitting in his so called throne. Crow : Which, in reality, was a stolen office chair from a Dilbert comic strip. >"So you are Lt. Hernandez. How did you get by my Swatbots?" Robotnik asked. > > "Your Swatbots couldn't even catch a computer virus. In their best day. >You think you have good Swatbots because they can take a peaceful civilization >but they never met the United States Army." > > "What do you want?" Tom : I'd sing something right here, but I already used my "Girl Power" reference for today. Mike : Good decision. > > "I want to go home. Crow : "Mommy! Robotnik says I can't go home!" >I know you have a way to turn me human and bring me to earth >without me turning into crystal." > > "I might have a way." > > "Don't give me you might!" T-Bone said while aiming his plasma cannon. "You ain't >hard to miss." Tom : "Being that you're three feet from me and all." > > "Settle down. Meet me at these corridinates in about two days. I might have a way." > > Robotnik handed T-Bone a piece of paper with the corrdinates on it. "So you are >just gonna let me go?" T-Bone asked. > > "Yes. Now go or I will change my mind." Mike : And I will spontaneously combust. > > "I'm not worried I could take out all you Swatbots anytime." > > T-Bone left and went to his Hummer and drove to the Great Forest. "Why did you let >him go." IG-89 asked. Crow : 'Cuz we need a plot. > > "He beat you did he?" Tom : T-Bone! A little lighter on the prepositions! >Robotnik replied. "He might be useful." > > >Scene 5 >The Great Forest > > > The hovercraft flew above as they saw T-Bone's Hummer. "Sally its T-Bone." >Tails said. > > "Where did he come from?" Sally asked. > > "He came from Robotropolis." Rotor replied. Mike : You two didn't read ahead in the script, did you? Bots : No, Mom... > > "Is he crazy. He went there by himself. Contact Sonic tell him we found T-Bone >and he is heading home." Crow : I think's it's ironic. Through all this excitement of T-Bone being home and all, I haven't seen a single exlaimation mark so far, except for after WESTSIDE! Tom : Crow! He didn't actually write that! He cut and pasted it from a Wu-Tang site. > > >Scene 6 Crow : Say that three times fast. Mike : Scene Six, Scene Six, Scene Sex... Bots : [snicker] Mike : D'oh! >Knothole > > > T-Bone came back and got out of his Hummer waiting for him was a Crow : Spellchecker. >not happy >Sally. Tom : I don't like you. >" Where did you think you were going?" Sally asked. > > "Robotropolis. Where else." T-Bone replied. > > "Without nobody's permission." Mike : Argh! There's another double negative. Tom : I got permission from the WESTSIDE! > > "Since when do I need permission to go where I want?" Crow : "'Cuz this is my self-insertion fanfic and all." > > "Since you became a Freedom Fighter. I am a higher ranking then a Leiutenant." > > "I don't go by a monarchy. I go by a democracy. Besides I'm back. Tom : "In black." >" > > "Thats not the point. You are not allowed at Robotropolis unless you are with sombody >else!" > > "Hey if you got beef then eat a porkchop." T-Bone said as he walked off. All : Take a bite out of crime! > > >Scene 7 >Davey's Hut > > > T-Bone walked in Davey's hut carrying his cooler full of 40's. "You mind if I chill >here for a while?" T-Bone asked. > > "Yeah pull up a chair. Let me have a 40." Davey replied. > > T-Bone grabbed a chair gave a 40 to Davey then he opened another one as he >laid back on the chair. "Is Sally always this power hungry?" Mike : Usually it's for burgers, but some of the time it's for tacos. > > "Naw. She's just worried about everybody's safety. She is not doing it because >she is power hungry she just does it because she cares about everybody." > > "Well she doesn't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself." Tom : Oh, that's why you got transformed into a humanoid wolf. > > "I need to ask you somthing. Why did you name yourself after a steak?" All : That's what we want to know! > > "Why did you name yourself after a guy how got killed in the Alamo but Disney >just used the name to make money." Crow : Gee, Davey... > > "Good point." > > "You wanna help me out with building my hut." > > "Surething its almost done. Lets go." > > T-Bone and Davey went to finish building T-Bone's hut as it was a bright and sunny >afternoon. Tom : Thanks to Knothole's odd weather patterns, it was rainy at the same time. >"Hey Davey this could be a start of a phat friendship. Mike : Wha? >" T-Bone said. > > >To be continued Crow : Well, that sucks. >Next: Football Fury All : A whole chapter of playing football! [scream wildly] > > Tom : Let's go! Mike : [picking up Tom] We need to psych ourselves up. Crow : [getting up] Agreed. [all file out of theater] [commercials] [INT SoL. Nobody is there. Five seconds later, Gypsy comes from stage left.] Gypsy: Hello. Mike, Crow, and Tom are outside playing football psyching themselves up for the next chapter. [two seconds go by] Uh-oh. I'm going to have to entertain the veiwer while the boys are outside! Um... [goes off to stage right; returns with rubber chicken in her mouth.] Mphf.. mmfph... [spits out chicken] That was my impression of Kenny! Heh, heh... [Gypsy is noticeably nervous] Um, here's my impression of Bill Clinton on a bad day! My fellow Americans, I haven't had sex for ten minutes! Where have all the interns gone? Wasn't that funny? Heh.. heh... [Mike and the bots enter from stage left. They are cheering, i.e. Woo! Packers!] Tom : Oh, hi, Gypsy. We had a great game out there. Mike : I mean, we were down by 14, then Crow got an interception! Crow : Yeah, that was great! [hoots] Gypsy: Who did you play against? Crow : Oh, we just used the escape pod to go down to Earth and got back through Gemini. Gypsy: Well, that makes sense... [shakes head, then gets furious] You *what*? Mike : We went to Earth to play football. Something wrong? Gypsy: Has it ever occured to you that you could have *stayed* on Earth and never had to watch a bad movie again? Tom : Well... MT&C : No. Gypsy: Ergh! [storms off to right] Tom : What was her problem? [movie signals] Mike : Maybe it was FOOTBALL SIGN! [chaos] [7...6...5...4...3...2...*] [sit in seats] > The T-Bone Saga > By T-Bone > Part 5 Tom : T-Bone becomes a contestant on "The Price is Right!" > Football Fury > > > >Scene 1 >Knothole > > > T-Bone and Davey were building T-Bone's hut. Crow : For a reason T-Bone couldn't figure out, Davey kept mumbling about knives and T-Bone and tonight. >Many people joined them Mike : Become one with the T-Bone... >into building it. >They all went to sleep in the neight Tom : Except for the nocturnal Freedom Fighters, which went out to seek prey. >and the next morning they finished it. "Well T-Bone how >do you like it?" Crow : It stinks! >EG Foxfire asked. > > "Hmmmm." T-Bone said. "It is missing somthing." Mike : "Of course! The *roof*!" > > T-Bone ran to his Hummer and got out the U.S flag. He then went to his hut and put the >flag Crow : Where the sun don't shine. >next to the door. "Now I like it." T-Bone said. "God bless Amreica. Tom : Amreica! The country of the future! >This flag stands for Mike : Pudding. >Freedom. Soon we will put this flag in the center of Robotropolis not for America but for >Freedom. I plege allegance to the rag of the United Westside Connection. All : ...the hell? >And to the W >for which it stands one neighborhood under god. Invincible with luxchry and Tom : Lack of grammar, spelling and plot. >riches for all >WESTSIDE!" > > "Thats not the U.S. pledge." Davey said. Crow : No, really? > > "I know its the Westside Connection's pledge. It sounds better. I guess I better unpack." Mike : You do that. Sally, when do we get rid of this chump? > > T-Bone went to his Hummer again but before he got his stuff he went to his gloove >conpartment and got out a Milky-Way. EG Foxfire saw it and ran towards T-Bone and jumped >him All : [snicker] Tom : Looks like big tough Westside boy T-Bone got jumped by an eleven-year old. >and pinned T-Bone down. "Oh wow chocolate. Gimme" EG Foxfire said. > > "Hey get off of me!" T-Bone yelled. > > "Give me the chocolate." Mike : Show me the money! > > "All right but Tom : The Price must be Right! >get off of me first." > > EG Foxfire got off of T-Bone and T-Bone gave her the Milky-Way while everybody else >was laughing at T-Bone. "Maybe we should have told T-Bone that if you show EG chocolate >she'll go crazy." Shades said. Crow : Well, at least I'm an original character! Oh, wait. > > "I have an idea." T-Bone said. "I'll unpack later. Davey lets see your Crow : [spews] Mike : Come on, I'm sure T-Bone wouldn't want to see *that*. >throwing arm." > > T-Bone got out a football and gave it to Davey. "Go long." Davey said. > > T-Bone ran as Davey went back to pass and threw it to T-Bone and T-Bone >caught it. Tom : That's a record so far, isn't it? Mike : A record for what? Tom : T-Bone mentioning his own name in one sentence. >"Nice arm." T-Bone said. > > "What was the point of that?" Tails asked. > > "We are gonna play some football." > > "Whats is football?" EG Foxfire asked. > > "Its an exciting sport. Crow : Oh. Let's play then! >The object is to score a touchdown on your opponents endzone >100 yards away. You have a offense and defense. In the offense you have four chances to score >or to get a first down. To get a first down you need to go 10 yards. There are penalties in football >which I'll Mike : "Neglect entirely 'cuz I wanna see some blood!" >tell you as we play the game. Davey since you know how to play you'll be team captain >two and I'll be team captain one. We'll have five on five. So we need at least ten people Tom : Okay, T-Bone. The Freedom Fighters know how to add. >so >everybody meet me at the open field next to the Great Forest in about thirty minutes. Crow : Doesn't "the open field next to the Great Forest" mean 65% of the land area of Mobius? >One more >thing where some clothes Mike : Finally! Somebody from another universe informs Sonic and freinds that they're naked. >like sweat pants or shirts or some sports clothes." > > >Scene 2 >Open next to the Great Forest > > > Sonic, Bunnie, EG Foxfire, Davey, Shades, Antoine, Tails, Rotor, and Amy Rose Crow : Let's just hope Tails doesn't cover Amy... Mike : Crow! >were at the open field when T-Bone came to the field not wearing his reagular stuff. He was >wearing a older version of his Jerry Rice jersey but he was also wearing shorts Tom : Thank god. >that went down >to his knees, Nike shoes, and was wearing a do-rag. Crow : Notice it said nothing about underwear. >"All right lets pic out the teams. >I got Sonic." >T-Bone said. > > "I got Shades Mike : "... aka freindless loser person nobody knows." >." Davey said. > > "I got Bunnie." > > "I got Antoine." > > "I got EG. She can tackle" > > "I got Rotor." > > "I got Tails." > > "I got Amy." Mike : Hey! Why was Amy picked last? Bots : [cough] Tom : Mike, why did you say that? Mike : Uh-oh, I didn't just think that? Crow : Nope. Mike : D'oh. > > "All right Davey since you were second captian then you get the ball first. Lets >kick off team!" T-Bone said. > > T-Bone kicked off the ball and Shades got it but EG Foxfire came in quickly and tagged >him. Tom : How come Mister Cool Westside Dude is playing two-hand? Mike : Face it Tom. In a fanfic, he's a cool-ass punk, but in real life he's the computer nerd that tries to be cool by listening to Wu-Tang. >Davey's team then got into a huddle. "All right team I'm quarterback. Just get open." Crow : Great plan! Tom : He should be the Packers' new manager! >Davey said. > > They got out. Rotor hiked the ball to Davey and Davey got to pass. He could find >nobody open except for Antoine he quickly threw it . Antoine was getting ready to catch >it when all of a sudden T-Bone came by and intercepted it. But T-Bone was taged by Shades. >"Nice move T-Dog." Sonic said. Mike : Nice move yourself, little scrawny hedgehog person. > > "Sonic your quarterback." T-Bone said. > > Tails hiked the ball to Sonic and he went back to pass T-Bone waved his hand >despite Davey covering him. Sonic threw the ball. "I'm gonna get the ball T-Bone." >Davey said. Crow : Not with fanfic luck you won't! > > "I don't think so." T-Bone said as he jumped on Davey Bots : [shudder] >and caught the ball and ran >for the touchdown. > > "YEAH!" Sonic said as he high fived T-Bone. "Good catch." > > "Good throw." T-Bone said. Tom : Good gravy. > > The game was a high impact game Mike : How could it be high impact if it was two-hand touch? >but T-Bone's team won 35 to 28. "This >was fun." Tails said. "Lets do this again some other time." Crow : [starts to cry] It's not even fun anymore! > > "How about we do this every week with the same team." T-Bone said. > > "Yeah thats a good idea." Sonic said. Tom : "Oh master of mine." > > "Lets go home now and get some rest." Dave said. > > >Scene 3 >Knothole > > > T-Bone was in his hut hanging pictures and posters in his wall. Mike : This guy knows how to live life on the edge! >He finished setting >up the rest of his room. Then Tails came in. "Hey T-Bone. What cha doing?" Tom : Uh-oh... Well, have you ever looked down when you're naked? Crow : I'm always naked. Tom : Oh. >Tails asked. > > "I'm hanging up some pictures." Mike : Boy, I really respect your way of living life on the edge! > > Tails looked at them he saw T-Bone as a human. He saw newspaper articles >talking about how T-Bone graduated from West Point a year early and his father's Medal of >Honor. He also saw a picture of T-Bone Crow : Without any clothes on. >standing right next to a different car than the Hummer. >"Hey T-Bone what car is that?" Tails asked. > > "1958 Impala. My gradfather Tom : Knot rasponsibel four messpelings. >first had it then my dad and he turned it ino a lowrider >then it was given to me." > > "What happened to it?" Mike : I ate it. > > "I sold it. I wanted to get into West Point so bad I had no choice. It is somthing >that I regreted doing for a long time." Crow : "Even now, when I'm in Mobius, having only little animal freinds." > > T-Bone then went back to his Hummer to get his t.v. but found that it was broken. >"Damn. My t.v must have been busted when I first came to Mobius." T-Bone said. > > "Thats no problem. Rotor has got a bigger t.v. in his workshop." Tails said. Tom : "The only channel we get is PBS, though. You might want to stay away." > > T-Bone went into Rotor's workshop. He saw many machines some broken >others that were fix. He also saw the hovercraft that the Freedom Fighters from Robotnik >a while ago. Mike : Oh, I get it now! Bots : What? Mike : T-Bone is a member of the "Anti-Verbs Club"! Bots : Ahhh... >But it looked different it was now called Freedom Fighter 1 with the color >blue and red. Right next to Freedom Fighter 1 was a bi-plane which was called Freedom >Fighter 2. "Rotor where are you?" T-Bone asked. > > "Over here." Rotor said. > > Rotor came out of a underground trap door. "What are you doing down there?" Crow : Anything except having dreams about Barry Manilow! > > "I'm building an escape route. I'm been building it for the past two years. Its >just in case if Robotnik ever finds Knothole. So what do you need." Tom : Well, I just came to tell you that Sally's going to destroy the escape route. > > "My t.v. busted and Tails told me that you have another t.v." > > "Yeah I got another one its in this closet." > > Rotor went to the closet. He opened it and brought out a 50 inch screen t.v. >T-Bone's eyes widend. "You have a big screen." Crow : [sighs] I wish I were younger. > > "Yeah you want it because I don't really need it." > > "Sure. I'll take it to my hut today." Mike : [singing] Have you had your hut today? > > "Let me help you out." > > "By the way you got some nice stuff in hear. Tom : What? >But I don't need anybody to help me >fix things I can fix stuff my self. I want to show you somthing." Crow : Oh, no! We've been transported to the beginning of the fanfic! > > T-Bone got out a somthing that looked like a remote control. "What is it?" > > "Its called the gate key. I can open a portal to earth any place any time." Tom : "Which apparently is the cause of the recent number of outcasts stumbling into this place via fanfiction peices. Ooh, there's another one." > > "Wow how do you make that." > > "I didn't make it the people at Area 51 made it. They use some things from >some alien equipment. Come on lets go take my t.v." > > T-Bone and Rotor carried back to T-Bone's hut. It wasn't to heavy for T-Bone because >of his enhanced strength but it was hard for Rotor. "You know you don't have to help me >I can carry this on my own." T-Bone said. > > "Oh....now you tell me." Rotor replied. Mike : Wuss. > > T-Bone lifted it the rest of the way he then found a spot to put it in. "Okay time to >hook it up." T-Bone said. > > T-Bone went back to his Hummer to get his stereo system, speakers, sub worpher, >and his video games. He hooked them up to the t.v. "All right lets see if my stereo works." >T-Bone said. Tom : Didn't he already play it at the beginning of the fanfiction? Mike : Oh, you expected continuity? > > He turned on the stereo but he didn't know that the stereo was on high volume when >he turned it on the the song was so loud that all of Knothole heard it. Crow : Did we mention it was loud? >"TURN THE VOLUME >DOWN!" Rotor yelled while covering his ears. > > T-Bone turned it down. Davey came in the hut wondering what was going on. >"What the hell was that." Davey asked. > > "Sorry my stereo volume was on high." Mike : "I told it to stop getting high, but it just keeps smoking." > > Everybody heard the noise and Sonic, Bunnie, Tails, EG Foxfire, Sonia, Tom : There *is* a character named Sonia? Mike : I thought it was just a typo of Sonic. >and Shades >came to see what happen. "Hey cool stuff." Shades said. > > "How many video game systems do you have?" Davey asked. Crow : I have my Atari 2600! > > "Playstation, Saturn, and Nintendo 64. You guys want to play." > > T-Bone set up his video game systems. He had a lot of games like NFL Gameday, >Virtual Fighter 2, Mortal Kombat Trilogy, Resident Evil, etc. "What do you guys want to play?" Tom : How about 'Get Out of the Crappy Fanfiction'? > > "Lets play Resident Evil." Davey said. > > "Ah wanna play first." Bunnie said. Mike : Oh, shove it, Bunnie! Go study on that fake accent of yours! > > "Well you guys knock yourselves out I need to talk to Sally. Where is she?" > > "She's at the gym." Sonia replied. > > "You guys have a gym?" > > "Yeah its where we do our hand to hand combat skills." Davey said. Crow : Amazingly enough, we're still scrawny weaklings. So, um, heh. > > T-Bone went to the gym he saw Sally in a ring wearing a karate suit practiceing >her karate skills. "Not bad moves." T-Bone said. > > "Just because I'm a princess doesn't mean I can't fight." Sally replied. > > "Yeah but can you fight under pressure." Tom : For example, say I take off my shorts... Crow : EWWW!!! It's so small! > > "Is that a challenge?" > > "I don't know you think you can take me." > > "In the ring." All : [singing] In the navy... > > "I'll be back. Mike : After these messages. >" > > T-Bone went and got some boxing glooves and came back and got in the ring. >"Lets get it on. I'll beat you without hitting you." Tom : "All I have to do is show you my..." Mike : [coughs] > > Sally started by trying to punch T-Bone but T-Bone kept on blocking them then she >tried to kick him but he blocked those. "Is that the best you can do." T-Bone said. > > That got Sally mad she faked a left kick which distracted T-Bone that gave her >a chance to hit T-Bone with her right kick. It worked it left T-Bone stunned and then >Sally did a sweep kick knocking T-Bone down to the ground. "You mean like that." Crow : Mmm... did one of you Freedom Fighters drop pizza here? > > T-Bone got back up. "No more Mr. nice wolf. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!" > > Sally went for a jump kick but T-Bone ducked and Sally missed him. Sally then >tried to do the same moved that knocked T-Bone down but T-Bone blocked it. Then Sally >tried to do another sweep kick but T-Bone jumped over it while Sally was turning from the >sweep kick T-Bone then tripped Sally with his arm behind Sally's leg knocking her down. >Then T-Bone pinned Sally down with his fist getting ready to punch her. "You give up?" >T-Bone asked. Mike : Looks like T-Bone went anti-pronouns, now. > > Sally tried to push him off but T-Bone was to strong so she had no choice. Crow : Ooh, T-Bone, you're so strong... >"Yes you win." > > T-Bone then got off of her and offered his hand for sportsmanship. Sally grabbed his >hand and T-Bone helped he up. "You fought well." Tom : "But you lost, and failed, so I get to laugh at you." >T-Bone said. "Now that we are done I need >to talk to you." > > "What do you want." Crow : I want you... > > "I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. Going to Robotropolis without >permission." > > "I'm sorry too. For yelling at you. Me being the leader I just worry about everybody." Mike : "And people say I brag about being the leader. Just because I'm the leader doesn't mean people have to say I brag about being to leader. I mean, just 'cuz I'm the leader doesn't mean that others have to be mean 'cuz I'm the leader. Did I mention I'm the leader?" > > "Its still gonna take time for me to get use to taking orders from a princess. But I >can handel it." > > T-Bone and Sally left the gym as the sun set and night fell. T-Bone got out the >corridinates. "When everybody is a sleep then I'll ball out." Tom : [singing] Ball out! With me oh yeah... > > >Scene 4 >Knothole (Late Night) > > > Everybody was asleep. T-Bone got out of his bed and went to his Hummer when Tails >showed up half asleep. "What cha doing T-Bone." Tails said. Crow : Didn't it say that everyone was asleep? > > "I've got to go somewhere. Give this to Sally." T-Bone said while handing Tails the >corridinates. "Tell her that this is to Doom Island. Give it to her in the morning. Now go back >to sleep." Mike : Sleep... plot... no plot... plot will not arise... sleep... > > Tails went back to his hut and T-Bone got into the Hummer and drove out of Knothole. >The distance from Knothole to Doom Island was 300 miles so T-Bone used his super speed >and went on to Doom Island Tom : Why does "Doom Island" vaguely sound like something from "Transformers?" > > >To Be Continued >Next: The Betrayal Crow : That was a long chapter. Can we go? Mike : Alright. [Tom scoots on Mike's lap] > > > > > > > Tom : So spacious. [Mike stands up] Crow : [standing up] Onward, ho! [all file out of theater] [*...2...3...4...5...6...7] [INT SoL. Mike, Tom and Crow are on the bridge, talking.] Mike : ... so, I think that it was a really cheesy name. Crow : Agreed. Mike : Oh, hi, folks. Me and the bots were just discussing some of the names of fanfic inserts and how they got there. Crow : We've only figured out one so far. Tom : Which is Sonia, which must have been a typo of Sonic, then the person said, "Hey! This would make a great new character!" Mike : Well, I'll assume that T-Bone, the star of the fanfic, was made after the author said to himself, "I'd like some steak tonight. Hey, wait - steak... T-Bone... I've got it!" And voila. You have yourself a new cheesy fanfic character. Tom : Michael Prower. That's just from some guy named "Michael" who wants to be inserted into a fanfic. Crow : Packbell is obvious. A little child crawled up on David Pistone's computer while he was writing a story, spilling juice on "ard". Therefore, leaving "Pack Bell", and thus being joined into one word. Mike : Bookshire Draftwood. That's a toughie. I'd say Mr. Pistone got it from his mother. Tom : Logical. How about "David Prower"? The creator of that character was Shawn Wolski, so you can't get David from his name. Maybe Shawn had a freind over while writing his fanfic? Crow : Good observation. We can't forget "Ryan Huber", "Eric Goodwin", and all the other good denezins that at least didn't *change* their name after being transported to Mobius. Tom : That would rule out Keith Aksland, which changed his name and self to make sure nobody knew that he was a self-insertion character. [commercial sign] Mike : We'll be right back. [taps button] Crow : How did Forrester come up with "Satellite of Love"? Tom : Hmmm... [commercials] [INT SoL. Mike is standing on the bridge, alone.] Mike : Oh, hi again. Pearl's having some technical trouble so movie sign isn't quite where it should be. [Crow comes from stage left] Crow : Hello, Mike! Should I tell you that I'm staying in the top-secret *Doom Island* from now on? Mike : What? Crow : This fanfic inspired me. I don't *need* to live on some satellite with a human and another robot. I'm going to live on *Doom Island*! Mike : Where is this Doom Island? Crow : It's not Doom Island, its *Doom Island*! Mike : I still don't know how you pronounce those. Crow : Ah, kiss my @$$, Nelson. Mike : Hey! Crow : Sorry, just showing off. [Tom comes from stage left] Tom : Hey guys. M&C : Hi, Tom. Tom : There was this island-type thing hooking on to the back of the satellite, so I cut it off. Crow : WHAT? M&T : (He/I) said (he/I) cut it off! Crow : Argh! Mike : What exactly did you make the island out of? Crow : Oh, just some five-manned escape pod laying around. Mike : Huh? D'OH! [movie sign] All : Waaah! Movie sign! [7...6...5...4...3...2...*] [all sit down in theater] Mike : Alright, we're on the last two parts! Bots : Yaaay! Mike : Let's just hope we make it out alive! > The T-Bone Saga > By T-Bone > Part 6 > The Betrayal > > > > >Scene 1 >50 Miles from Doom Island Crow : Which, unfortunate for T-Bone, was in the Atlantic Ocean. > > > T-Bone arrived at the meeting place he got out of his Hummer and got out his plasma >cannon and two 9mm's. Tom : He also pulled out his run on sentences. >He then looked around. He came in at the right time but Robotnik was >late. Mike : Man? Where's the dude with the stuff? I can't get as high off of chalk, dude... >Then all of a sudden a hoverbot appeared from the cliff. Crow : It's the magical hoverbot! Tom : Now with the power to walk through solid rock! >It landed and a door opened out >came four Swatbots and started fireing at T-Bone. T-Bone ran and hid behind a rock he then >pumped his plasma cannon and started fireing hitting two Swatbots. Mike : Boy, these action scenes are just high-pumped, aren't they? Tom : Zzzzz... huh? Oh, yeah. >Then he did a summersault >and shot one Swatbot. He then ran back the the rock and picked it up with all of his strength Crow : Which, mind you, isn't very much. >he >threw it towards the last Swatbot and the rock Tom : ... starring Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage ... >crushed it. Then Robotnik came out of the >hoverbot."What the hell was that all about!" T-Bone said. Mike : It's my way of saying, "What's up". > > "I was just testing you to see how good you can fight." Robotnik replied, >"And you passed." > > "If you do that again I'm gonna bust a cap in your ass." Crow : Homey! Tom : Don't make me bustacap on yo ass, young! > > "I will remember that warning. Come in the hovercraft we are heading to Doom Island." Mike : "Don't let the name fool you. It's really Madagascar." > > T-Bone got in the hoverbot and the hoverbot went to Doom Island. As they got closer to >the Island a tower got bigger and bigger. "What is that tower?" T-Bone asked. Tom : I dunno, but it's getting bigger. > > "The main tower of Doom Island it has the chemicals I need to take over Mobius." > > "Chemicals? What for?" Crow : A lame attempt at plot development. > > "In about 24 hours the top of the tower will open bringing out a cloud deadly to trees. >It will then go to the Great Forest where it will kill all of the trees and it will open the locatin to >Knothole." Tom : Isn't that his plan every time? Mike : Pretty much. > > "Very smart and you put it this far so the Freedom Fighters won't find it." > > "You learn quick Lieutenant." > > "I'm a quick learner." Crow : Aladdin reference! > > >Scene 2 >Doom Island > > > The tower was huge it was over 200 feet. T-Bone and Robotnik got out of the >hoverbot. "How long did it take you to build this?" T-Bone asked. Tom : 42. > > "It took me four months to build it." Mike : "Of course, it fell and collapsed afterwards." > > "Why so quick?" > > "With the technology I have. It is far more advanced than the U.S's technology." Crow : "Yes, I'm sure you foolish U.S.ers don't have any Atari 2600s! You do? Well, how about TurboGrafix 16? Don't tell me you have MS-DOS 3.0, also!" > > "Enough of the small talk lets get to buisness. You said you might have a way for >me to go home without turning into crystal and turning me back into human. Do you?" > > "Yes I do. But you must do somthing for me." Crow : Help! Mike : Don't think about it, Crow. It won't happen. Tom : I think it will. Mike : Tom! You're not encouraging him. > > "What is it?" > > "I want you to capture the Freedom Fighters. Mike : See? It's all better now. Crow : Thank you, God! >Especially The Hedgehog and the >Princess." > > "Thats it? You got a deal." > > >Scene 3 >10 Miles Towards Doom Island (Hours Later) > > > Sonic, Sally, Davey, Uncle Chuck, Tails, Bunnie, EG Foxfire, and Shades were in >Freedom Fighter 1 heading towards Doom Island. "Whoa take a look at that. Its huge." EG Foxfire said. Crow : Don't say it... please don't say it... Mike : Don't let him say it... please don't let him say it... Tom : Don't tell Mike you ate his dessert. Please don't tell Mike you ate his dessert. > > "I don't like the looks of it." Shades said. > > "Sally why did T-Bone go by himself was he drunk or somthing?" EG Foxfire asked. > > "I don't know EG." Sally asked. Mike : I'm EG. Now you know me. > > "Maybe he's got a plan." Davey said. > > "If he does then why didn't he get me or Sal to help him?" Sonic said. > > "Maybe he is crazy." Chuck said. All : [scream like lunatics] > > >Scene 4 >Doom Island [stop screaming] > > Freedom Fighter 1 landed and the Freedom Fighters got out. Davey looked around >and saw a figure. "T-Bone is that you?" Davey asked. Crow : No, it's the script. > > He did not reply but instead he shot him. Davey fell on the ground stunned. >Then he shot Sonic so he could not use his speed. "Don't move or you'll be wakeing >up with a bad headache as well." Mike : ... The hell? Tom : How do you shoot someone so they lose their speed? > > He got out of the shadows and Sally was shocked to see that it was T-Bone >"T-Bone what are you doing?" Sally asked. Crow : Back on Earth, I was a rapist. > > "I'm going home." T-Bone replied, "Now put your hands up you're all going to >have a little talk to with Robotnik." > > He then chained them and picked up Davey and Sonic and carried them to >Robotnik. As a couple of Swatbots guided Sally and the others as well. "Everything >is going as planed." Tom : "Yep, planed. We're going straight into the ground." >T-Bone said to himself. > > > >To Be Continued >Next: T-Bone vs. IG-89 Round 2 Mike : More ear-biting action from Tyson as he battles Holyfeild! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tom : That's a lot of spaces, even for T-Bone. Crow : He's just seasoning his victim ups before he sends us the final chapter of torture. > The T-Bone Saga > By T-Bone > Part 7 > T-Bone vs. IG-89 Round 2 > > >Scene 1 >Doom Island > > > Davey and Sonic woke up. Mike : That's the climax, folks. Go back to bed now. >They found themselves chained and right next to >them was Sally and the rest of the Freedom Fighters chained as well. "What happened?" >Sonic asked. > > "I don't think we want to know." Davey replied. Crow : He used his shrinking ray on my... ya know... > > Davey and Sonic saw T-Bone right next to Robotnik. "I did my part of the deal now >you must honor your part." > > "You have to do one more thing. Tom : Bite me. >Shoot them." > > "Very well." T-Bone said aiming his plasma cannon towards the Freedom Fighters >and puting it on high power. Mike : Which has the force equivelant to that of an ant falling from three feet. > > "T-Bone why are you doing this. I thought that we were friends." Sally said. Crow : We were freinds until you stole our question marks. > > "Friends. I look like a freak and you keep me here just to fight your stupid war. >I don't care about this I just want to go home. Don't think I won't pull the trigger because >I seen people die. It won't bother me." All : [chanting] Shoot them! Shoot them! Shoot them! > > "Sally had tears coming down her eyes Tom : Who's talking here? Mike : T-Bone got tired of narrating so he just handed the job over to Sonic. >as T-Bone aimed plasma cannon at her >he then all of a sudden winked at her Crow : Let's get a little sugar tomorrow, huh, princess? >and turned around. "The name is T-Bone remember it." Mike : Alright, what's your face! >T-Bone said and fired at the Swatbots that were next to Robotnik. He then went to the Freedom >Fighters and broke their chains he then gave Davey a 9mm. Bots : Eww... Mike : A nine millimeter weapon. >"Ah knew that you went gonna >turn on us." Bunnie said. Tom : Either 'went' is a southern accent, or a typo. [pause] All : Typo. > > "We'll talk about it later." T-Bone said. > > Robotnik left and ten Swatbots came. EG used her electric power Mike : Electric power? Crow : Who is this EG character, anyway? >and blew up one >Swatbot, Shades used his gliding ability and punched a Swatbot, Bunnie used her robotic arm >and punched the Swatbots head off, Davey Tom : Used his comma power. >fired the 9mm and shot two swatbots, Sally jump >kicked a Swatbot but was not aware that a Swatbot was behind her. When it was too late the >Swatbot punched her and knocking her down. All : [cheer] >"SALLY!" Sonic said. > > Sonic used his spin attack and sliced the Swatbot in half. "Is Sal okay?" Sonic asked. > > "She's got a concusion. Chuck you and Tails go and take Sally back to Freedom Fighter >1 keep here awake by asking her some questions. Mike : [Tails] Did you drink while you were in college? Crow : [Tails] When did you loose your virginity? Tom : [Tails] Are you going to help Sonic beat up T-Bone tomorrow? >The rest of you guys the core is down the hall >take the detinators and set them up for ten minutes." T-Bone said. > > "What are you gonna do? [stare in awe] Mike : A *question mark!* >" EG Foxfire asked. > > "I'm going after Robotnik." > > T-Bone then went after Robotnik. "T-Bone wait." Davey said, "You guy's go I'll go after >T-Bone." > > > T-Bone got to the door where Robotnik was at but then IG-89 came out of nowhere Tom : And was then crowned the stealer of periods and run-on sentences T-Bone went after him but IG-89 stole all of his conjunctions. Crow : That's pretty good, Servo. >"I knew that you should not have been trusted." He said. > > "Hey its not my fault that you guys are dumb. Tom : [Bugs Bunny] Remember, 'mud' spelled backwards is 'dumb'! >I guess this is where we left off." > > IG-89 tried to punch T-Bone but T-Bone blocked it. T-Bone then returned with a left >hook. Then he did a uppercut on him. Mike : You know, this reminds me very much of Mortal Kombat. Tom : Yeah... you're right... >IG-89 returned with a kick to the stomach and the IG-89 >uppercuted T-Bone. T-Bone was on the ground but not for long T-Bone then did a sweep kick >on IG-89. He then picked up IG-89 and powerbombed him. "I don't have time for this. I win." >T-Bone said as he got out a grenade and threw it to IG-89. T-Bone than ran and IG-89 blew >up. Crow : [woodenly] Fun. > > Robotnik was getting ready to get in the hoverbot when all of a suddent T-Bone Mike : This fanfic was brought to you by the letter 'T' and the Beef Council. >came and shot at Robotnik. "That was a warning shot. You ain't hard to miss." T-Bone said. Tom : [T-Bone] Being that you're three feet from me and all. > > "How dare you betray me. You could have gone home." > > "This is my home." Crow : [T-Bone] I must star in more crappy fanfiction peices! > > Unaware of Snivley behind him Snivley shot T-Bone in the are causing him to drop >his plasma cannon. Robotnik now had a laser gun and aiming towards T-Bone. "Well look >who is at who's mercey. Well I like my T-Bone's well done." All : [muted trumpet] Wah wah wah waaaaaaaaah... > > All of a sudden Davey came he grabed Snivley and threw him to Robotnik they >both went in to the hoverbot. "Why did you follow me?" T-Bone asked. > > "To save your ass. Come on this place is gonna blow up any minute." Crow : KABOOOOOOM! Tom : The bodies of ten Freedom Fighters, Robotnik, Snivley, Packbell, and various other Sonic Fanfiction stars were found dead last night. Authorities assume the cause was of a complete lack of plot in a certain fanfiction peice. With the full story, here's Mya Buttreeks. > > T-Bone grabed his plasma cannon and warped Mike : Uh-oh. It's slowly morphing into a Sliders crossover! >the strap around him while he was >holding his arm. Everybody was at Freedom Fighter 1 when they saw T-Bone and Davey. Both >of them went into Freedom Fighter 1 and flew off after that Doom Island blew up. "How's Sally?" Tom : [Sonic] Apparently, she fainted from boredom. >T-Bone asked. > > "She's fine. We need to check you arm." Uncle Chuck said. > > "Don't worry about me. When we head to the mainland Davey drive my Hummer back >to Knothole." > > >Scene 2 Crow : I don't care what scene it is! End the fanfic! >Knothole > > > Dr. Quack Mike : Daffy Duck is in Sonic the Hedgehog world now? >was examing T-Bone's arm he found no problem. "This is amazing your arm >healed quickly." > > "Thats because I have a fast healing factor." T-Bone said. > > "Maybe your name should be Wolverine." Davey said. All : Huh? Tom : I'm not gonna ask how Mobians get X-Men on TV. > > "Heh heh heh." Crow : [T-Bone, dryly] It's _hilarious_. >T-Bone laughed, "Thats a good one. I need to be alone can I go doc." > > "Yeah sure thing." > > T-Bone left the hut he then went to the pool where Sonic Crow : Was convienently skinny dipping. >gets his rings and sat on a >log. He just sat there and was thinking about thing Then Sally came with a Mike : Case of periods. > bandage around >her head. "Hey T-Bone." Sally said. > > "Hey Sally how are you feeling." Tom : [Sally, dryly] I am feeling super-duper let's go beat up Robotnik again WESTSIDE. > > "I have a big headache. I'm glad that you didn't turn on us. Why didn't you tell us your >plan?" > > "I had to make Robotnik beleive that I was lying. You know when I was a kid at night Crow : [T-Bone] I use to lay in my bed, and think about all the pretty self-insertion characters that existed in all the pretty stars outside my window. >I would always sit down outside and just think of stuff. Mike : Oh, that's very informative. "Stuff". >I loved my dad when he died that was >the biggest shock to me. After his funeral I never cried again because what was there to cry >about. Tom : Um, your dad dying? Duh? >At first I wanted to go home but I now realize that I'm alread there." > > "Your father would have been proud from what you have just done. Now come on >lets go back." > > "I'll be there just hold on." Crow : [T-Bone] I have to go give a public service announcment to the veiwers. > > Sally left and T-Bone got out his fathers dog tags. "I hope you are proud of me dad. >I'll never forget you." He then threw the dog tags in the pool and walked back to his home. > > > >The End All : Yess!! [charge out of theater] > >Credit Where its Due All : [off screen] Aw, nuts. [file back into their seats] > >T-Bone, IG-89.............T-Bone a.k.a Makaveli Tom : [to the tune of Ami dayus] Makaveli makaveli! >Sonic and all related characters........Sega of Crow : Uzbeckistan and the former Czech Republic. >America >Davey Crocket............David Gonterman Mike : The *other* Ratliff. >EG Foxfire..................Carol Schneeweiss Tom : [Carol] Disclaimer - I am *not* Swedish. >Shades......................Joseph Leonard Crow : -o DiCaprio? >Sonia the Hedgehog....Emily Smith Mike : [chuckle] Heh.. Smith. > > >The T-Bone Saga Continues the next story >Wildcat Alley Tom : [getting picked up by Mike] Which, thank god, we already read. Crow : [standing up] Finally! This idiot fanfic is *over*! [all file out of theater] > > > > > > > [*...2...3...4...5...6...7] [INT SoL. Mike and the bots are standing on the bridge.] Mike : Well, we finally made it through the fanfic! Bots : [cheer] [longish pause] Tom : So, what now? Mike : Uh, [light flashes] oh, we have a transmission! [Mike hits the button and the hexfeild thingy opens up to reveal a robotic, gray wolf with a robot eye. He is standing in a hut, presumably on Mobius.] T-Bone: Yo, homeys! What you dudez be chillin' with? WESTSIDE! Crow : Uh... T-Bone: [looks at Crow] Whoa, a talking waffle iron! Hey yo, come look at this joint! Crow : Hey! I resent that. Tom : [laughs] T-Bone: [looks at Tom] I'll deal with you later, gumball machine. Crow : [snickers] Tom : Hmmpfh. [Sonic comes into the hexfeild's view. He is holding a Sam Adams.] Sonic: What's up, T-Dog? [looks at Mike and the bots] Oh my god! [drops drink] Let's go inform the all-mighty Pearl! [Sonic and T-Bone run off to the right. The hexfeild closes.] [longish pause] Mike : That was odd. [two beats] Tom : A little *too* odd. [a beat, then the MaDS light flashes] Mike : Let's see what Pearl and the gang are up to. [Crow hits the light with his beak] [Mobius, interior of a hut. Pearl is sitting on a bed, reading a book.] Pearl: Wow! Stephen King sure knows how to write! [looks up] Oh, hello, Nelson. [throws book aside] How was today's fanfiction peice? [SoL] Mike : Even "Wildcat Alley" was better. Tom : Yep, I have to admit, T-Bone really sucks at writing. Mike : Hush, Tom. Crow : Oh, yeah, Pearl? Expect some visitors soon. [Mobius] Pearl: Visitors? What're you... [Sonic and T-Bone rush into the hut] T-Bone: Yo, homey-g! Pearl: [frustrated] I told you not to call me that. T-Bone: Whatever, young. Listen, yo, I be finding some homies on the WESTSIDE that were a gumball machine and a waffle iron! Sonic: Yeah, they were red and yellow! And they were scary! Pearl: Oh, you two have just been playing too much MK3. Cyrax and Sektor aren't out to harm you. T-Bone: Not them! And there was this big bozo that called himself Mike, and he said something about being forced to watch cheesy movies as an experiment! Pearl: [a beat. Pearl then stands slowly up, and slowly turns toward T-Bone] You... two... tampered.. with.. MY EXPERIMENT! [charges after them] S&T : Aaaah!!! [run out of the hut. Pearl follows.] [fade to MST3K logo] -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Prower Science Theater 3000 Episode 102 - The T-Bone Saga HEAD WRITER: Michael "Prower" Reid http://members.xoom.com/Prower/ mikeprower@geocities.com ENCOURAGEMENT: Joe Blevins, the only person to send me a comment on my first MiSTing (Wildcat Alley) WHERE TO GET MORE STH MISTINGS: Joseph Nebus' STH3K site, at http://www.math.rpi.edu/~nebusj/sth3k.html COPYRIGHTS ---------- This MiSTING is based on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" by Joel Hodgson. All characters that appear in this MiSTing are properties of Best Brains Incorporated. Copyright 1998 Best Brains Inc. The characters in the fanfiction peice are copyright SEGA (Service and Games, Inc.), or the individual authors. The fanfiction peice as a whole is copyright 199? T-Bone. Used without permission (no e-mail address). This MiSTing as a whole is copyright 1998 Michael "Prower" Reid (mikeprower@geocities.com). All comments are appreciated. Remember, "this is just a joke". -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > T-Bone came out of the portal and he found himself in the middle of >nowhere.