[The season eight theme, then, rather than the usual doorway sequence, we fade out, then fade back in on Pearl's VW. Observer and Bobo are in the back seat, as the camera focuses on them] OBSERVER: Will you keep your junk on your side?? What is this? [throws the objects at Bobo as he mentions them] A rubber banana toy? BOBO: I get bored. OBSERVER: Gummi Worms. An eight track of ABBA. A wad of fur. BOBO: I lost three combs trying get that out. OBSERVER: Three combs. BOBO: Oh, there they are. OBSERVER: Elmer's glue? BOBO: I get hungry. OBSERVER: Good God, ape... A "Barrel of Monkeys" game. An unidentifiable wad of mush. And a "Dial M for Monkey" action figure. BOBO: He's my hero. OBSERVER: Now you keep these on your side this time! BOBO: Yeah, yeah. Make me. OBSERVER: Fine. There's an invisible line right down the middle of the seat. Now keep yourself on that side. BOBO: This side? OBSERVER: Yes, that side over there. That's your side. Now stay there. BOBO: Sure. {hehe} [As Observer looks out the window, Bobo sneaks his hand over to his spot by having his fingers "walk." As soon as he gets to the other side, there is a white flash and explosion sound effect. Bobo's fur is standing on end while smoke comes off him] OBSERVER: I told you. What? Did you think I was lying? BOBO: You said it was an imaginary line. OBSERVER: I said it was invisible. I just failed to mention it was a force- field. BOBO: Why you-! [He leaps at Observer and is once again zapped] OBSERVER: You dodo! You thought I would put it down? BOBO: A dodo, am I? Why, I'll-! [Zapped again] OBSERVER: Oh, will you stop it? BOBO: Stop it? You want me to stop it? I'll show you "stop it." [Zapped] OBSERVER: That sentence made no sense. BOBO: Made no sense? I'll show you! [Zapped] OBSERVER: You're only hurting yourself. BOBO: Oh, am I? [Zapped] OBSERVER: Stop! BOBO: No! I'll show you! [Zapped] OBSERVER: Stop! BOBO: No! [Zapped] OBSERVER: Stop! BOBO: No! [Zapped] OBSERVER: Stop! BOBO: No! [Zapped] OBSERVER: Stop! BOBO: No! [Zapped] OBSERVER: Stop! BOBO: No! [Zapped] OBSERVER: Stop! BOBO: No! [Zapped] PEARL: You two stop it back there or I'm turning around right now. BOBO & OBSERVER: Yes, Ma'am. [Pause] BOBO: It's all your fault. OBSERVER: Is not! [Commercial] [Back to the VW] BOBO: Lawgiver, I'm hungry. PEARL: Yeah? So? BOBO: Well, I wanna eat. PEARL: And? BOBO: And... could you stop over for a hamburger? PEARL: As long as it's quick. BOBO: How 'bout McDonald's? PEARL: I said quick. OBSERVER: Wendy's? PEARL: All right. Maybe that planet down there has one. Whitey, give those other guys a call. It's time for their weekly dose of usenet mish- mash. OBSERVER: Very well. [Concentrates with the usual sound effect] [SOL] [There is a ladder in the center going up off screen as Crow, left, and Tom, right, are looking up. The Mads' light is going off] TOM: Mike, I think the ceiling is a bit too small to remake the Sistine Chapel's. MIKE: [From atop the ladder] Servo, you know how it is when you get these artistic influences. TOM: Well, no, I don't. CROW: OH MY GOD!!! [Mike loses balance and the ladder falls off to the left as Mike screams and crashes] TOM: What?! What is it? CROW: Oh, uh, Shemp, Joe, and Curly-Joe are calling. TOM: Oh............... Mike? You okay? CROW: How are we supposed to receive the transmission if we can't hit the button. Our arms don't work. TOM: Let's get Gypsy to do it. CROW: Good idea. HEY, GY- Tom, you dope, she doesn't even *have* arms! TOM: Oh, yeah. Okay, we'll flip to see who will do it. CROW: TOM! TOM: What? Oh, yeah; the arms. Well, how about-- [Crow growls and ducks under the desk] TOM: What are you doing? [Crow pops up from under Tom, sending him flying up screaming. Tom lands head first onto the Mads' button then promptly falls off behind the desk] CROW: So, Pearly? Wuz shakin'? [The VW has already landed on the planet. It's a grassy field with huts randomly scattered across. Pearl and crew are already out] PEARL: Jeez, Art, what took you so long?? You too good for me? [SOL] CROW: Oh, uh, vice-versa, actually. [Planet] PEARL: That's more like it. Well, looks like there are no Wendy's here. OBSERVER: Although there seems to be plenty of Denny's. [Just then, a badly animated blue hedgehog runs up] SONIC: Yo'! BOBO: Huh? SONIC: No, "Yo'", as in... um... well, anyway, yo'! BOBO: Well, yo-yo to you too, little critter. SONIC: [Looking at Pearl and Observer] HUMANS!!! AUGH!! OBSERVER: Human?? Why, you insult me. PEARL: [Whacking Observer upside the head] Yeah? So? What the hell's wrong with that? SONIC: [Mouth moving completely out of synch] I'll tell you after we kill you. [Running away] Hey, guys there'll be blood tonight! BOBO: Oh, isn't that nice. Oh, and he's so quick, too. OBSERVER: Why couldn't we have landed on a planet of mushroom-hopping Italian plumbers? PEARL: Oh, I'll show that rat some of his *own* plumbing. Oh, by the way, Mike, your fanfic this week is "Tricks of the Trade", the much anticipated sequel to "The Newcomer", which was also supposed to be somewhat based on a blue rodent-thing. Send him the text, Brain Guy. Then let's go kick some anthropomorphic a-. OBSERVER: Watch it! We're in a cartoon. PEARL: Oh, uh... toushie. Let's go! BOBO: I'm still hungry. [SOL] MIKE: [Recovering from the fall] "Newcomer"? TOM: An oldie but a baddie. CROW: One we did with the other guy. MIKE: Oh. [Pause] MIKE: So... CROW: ...Yup... [Pause] TOM: Mm-hmm. [Movie alarms] TOM: Oh, here we go. ALL: FANFIC SIGN!!!!!!! [Shunk...6...5...4...3...2...SAFE...] [Each take their respective seats] >Tricks of the Trade CROW: [Bullwinkle impression] Nothin' up my sleeve!... >A Sonic the Hedgehog Story >by Ryan Huber TOM: [As author] Or as the ladies like to call me, Ryan Hubba. > >This entire story and all related characters in it are protected under >copyright laws. It fine MIKE: "It fine"? TOM: I sense a bit of laziness, as the exact same goof was made in the *last* story. > to distribute this story, but only in it's full form, >with no alterations, and never for profit. MIKE: If we're being forced to read this, what are the chances it's profitable? CROW: First, you must remember the amount "Batman & Robin" made. MIKE: Ahhh... > >For all those of you who liked "The Newcomer", TOM: I guess there are always those select few. > here's the next story. CROW: For those who didn't like it, screw you. > What >will become of Ryan and the strange comet? MIKE: Is it really love? > How are he and Sandra getting >along? TOM: Given the fact that she is now seven months pregnant, I'd say it went quite well. > Will Ryan be caught and killed by Packbell? TOM: Alas, it is not to be, for sequel after sequel they shall come. > Read and find out. :) MIKE: That's a "BWAHAHA" kinda grin. I can tell. > >Sonic the Hedgehog, Princess Sally, and all other related characters are >copyrights of SEGA, CROW: Don't shout. > DIC, CROW: And *definitely* don't shout that. MIKE: It's pronounced "deek". CROW: Oh... Never mind... > and Archie Comic Publications. Except for the >following... TOM: Garfield the cat, Dilbert, Mario and Luigi, Fone Bone, Wile E. Coyote, Goofy, Barney Rubble, and Yakko Warner. CROW: That sentence is gonna cost us bundles. > >Bookshire, Sandra Nightweaver, and Packbell: CROW: One big happy family. > David Pistone MIKE: He is, like, sooooo p'stoned, man. TOM: Huh huh. >Sir Kain: Eric Goodwin TOM: Ah, I see he accepts OTHER authors' self-indulgence. >Ryan: Ryan Huber MIKE: Boy, it's kinda getting tough in the '90s when you hafta start copyrighting yourself. > >Historian's Note: CROW: Then the historian gets slashed by a riding-by knight. > This continuation leaves off exactly where "The Newcomer" >left off TOM: Good, then we need not waste time with backstory. > ...Ryan heading back to Knothole, with Sandra staying back, waiting to >meet him again. MIKE: For about three seconds, then a vulpine on a motorcycle stops by her, and they rode off together, leaving Ryan to wallow in self pity. > >Part 1 TOM: The Fanfic Horror. > > Ryan went back to his home in Knothole, MIKE: As was previously mentioned. > smiling slightly CROW: Oh, boy. This again. TOM: The smiling never stops. > as he changed >forms to match the species of every Freedom Fighter he passed. CROW: Then he turned into a slug just as a goat walked by and dropped his saltlick. > Just as he >reached the small porch in front of his hut, a voice called out behind him. MIKE: "You must kill your boss. You must kill your boss..." > "Hey, showoff!" CROW: "Tuck that back into your pants!" > Ryan grinned TOM: Oh, Ryan got a thesaurus. More words for "smile". > and turned around, seeing exactly whom he expected to >see... MIKE: Okay, raise your hand. Who wants to fill in the blank here? > Sonic. "Well, Sonic...do you want me to lose my touch at morphing?" CROW: "Zordon will take away my powers if I do." > Sonic smirked. TOM: Or "smiled". > "You've had that rock for less'n a day and you're >already worried about losing your touch... MIKE: Let's, um, leave that sentence alone. > Just like me." MIKE: Please, guys? TOM: Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, just this once. > Ryan smiled. CROW: "A-hyuck." > "You know if I don't keep a wide selection of TOM: "...pies, we'll go out of business." > forms, >Packbell will find me sooner or later. CROW: "That is if I walk directly to him and say 'Hey, kill me!'" > You also know what'll happen if he >does." MIKE: "He'll force me to play infinite rounds of 'Brain Warp'." > By that time, the smile had died from Ryan's face, TOM: A funeral was planned for his smile the next Saturday. > and he shuddered. >He knew exactly what would happen... MIKE: Jello... Unthinkable amounts of Jello... > Sonic knew what Ryan felt, CROW: And told him to get his hand away from there. > and tried to lighten his mood again. TOM: "Well, I'm sure you won't get tortured *too* badly... No, wait. Death isn't *that* bad. No-no-no!..." > "Well, >at least try to choose a form so we don't confuse you with anyone...or not even >know you're you." MIKE: "How about a big, yummy bug. {slurp sup-sup-sup}" > "Hmm...I'll have to think-" TOM: His sentence was cut off by his head's explosion. > "What?" CROW: "His head exploded? I don't get it. What's the joke there?" > "I got it... Expect me to either be in my human form most of the >time...or MIKE: "...Um, something else. Genius, huh?" > this." > Ryan concentrated for a second, and faster than even Sonic's eyes could >follow, transformed into a silver-furred fox. TOM: He turned into the Mobian equivalent of an Oscar. > Sonic blinked MIKE: Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-LINK. > ...no...not silver, CROW: {Cha} Jeez. Make up your mind, Mr. Huber. >black with some clear furs that gave a frosted appearance. MIKE: He started his own corporation of snowcones and made millions! > Ryan examined as much of the new form as possible. CROW: "Oh my God, six nipples!" > He stood as tall as >Sonic, TOM: And kept shrinking into nothingness. > and had white markings on his elbows and feet. CROW: They all somehow resembled Whistler's mother. > On each elbow, there was >a pattern that resembled a white diamond, MIKE: Then Sonic grew money-hungry, and ripped off Ryan's elbows, drooling while thinking of his future fortune. > and the white on his feet went >halfway up to his knees, like boots. TOM: If you forgot that he wasn't barefoot last we saw him. > Ryan swished his new tail in front of >him, MIKE: Then realized it was already in front of him. CROW: "Oh, Lord! This can't be right!!" > and saw it had a white tip. ALL: [Lots of "Ahems" and "Yeahs" going on] > He noted that later, he really should examine >his face. CROW: So he's writing this as he's going along? TOM: If the third person narrator goes out of character, you *know* you're in trouble. > Ryan saw Sonic's eyes grow wide. MIKE: Actually, from what I've seen, it was just one big eye with a pair of pupils. > "Er...Sonic?" > "Huh? MIKE: "What?" TOM: "Um." CROW: "Whoa." MIKE: "Eh?" TOM: "Wow." CROW: "Oh." MIKE: Is this the "additional dialogue" you were informing me about before? CROW: Er, huh? MIKE: Never mind. > Oh, yeah?" > "What're you staring at?" TOM: ...asked Ryan as Sonic pulled the binoculars from his face and climbed back down the tree. > "Well, seems this form is a mix of Sandra's fur color, CROW: Wait, I thought Sandra was completely black; how can it be a *mix*? > but not >quite...parts are white." > "Hmm...her being a good friend of mine would explain it..." > Ryan smiled. TOM: Surprise, surprise. MIKE: Why does he have a separate paragraph here if he was talking in the last one? > "Or would you like me to be a hedgehog?" > Sonic laughed. CROW: He hyperventilated and died. > "No way! You'd be way outclassed for looks." MIKE: "By Fabio." TOM: Ah kahnt beleef it's not buttah. > "By whom? MIKE: "By Fabio." TOM: Ah kahnt beleef it's not buttah. > You'll outclass me when Antoine gets a brain and a life." CROW: Stereotypes never get old, eh, guys? > "Ha! I think the chance is infinitely less than that." > Ryan laughed now. TOM: He hyperventilated and died. > "Can you even understand what he says most of the >time?" MIKE: [As Sonic] "Not with all those marbles in his mouth." > "Nope...but...it's kinda like the sound of a fleet of Hover Units... >You learn to not listen anymore." TOM: "I ignore them, so I can get captured so they can do horrible, unspeakable things to me." Yeah, that makes sense. > "I hope that happens with me soon, I'll go crazy listening to that >babbling." CROW: "Unlike me. I never babble. I can talk on and on without a trace of babbling. Yup. That's me: babble-free. You won't be hearing me babble anytime soon..." > Sonic grinned TOM: Or "smiled". > and waved. "See you tomorrow morning." MIKE: Or will he? > Ryan waved back and said, TOM: "See you tomorrow morning." CROW: [Sonic] "Copycat." TOM: [Ryan] "I am not!" > "Afternoon, more likely... MIKE: "All my rowdy friends are comin' over tonight." > I'm really not a >light sleeper." TOM: "I'm a caffeine-free sleeper." > "Oh?" > "Let's just say if Robotnik tested a new bomb in the center of >Knothole, I _might_ just half-open an eye." CROW: The next day Sonic decided to test this theory. It went horribly wrong! > Sonic grinned TOM: Smiled. > one last time and sped off. Ryan opened his door and >went inside MIKE: Oh, thanks for pointing that out. I thought he walked through the door or came in through the window. > his new home for some much needed rest. CROW: Sandra was in his bed, waiting. TOM: "Jeez! It's about time!" > > Sandra looked into Ryan's hut through a window. CROW: Oh, God, I hope they don't describe this in graphic detail. > She was perched in a >tree about twenty feet behind his home. TOM: The rare female variety of tree-peepers. > She sat there and thought to herself. MIKE: "Boy, do I like gerbils." >"Hmm...should I give him another wake up call like last time? CROW: But I thought it was pointed out that he was a heavy sleeper, and... > No...something >more subtle this time, MIKE: "Something that involves gerbils, cuz, man, I just love gerbils." > and see how he reacts. Who knows, maybe I can teach him >a thing or two about my little... TOM: Ooo, a pause. Something dramatic's coming up. > profession." CROW: She's a - - ? MIKE: No, Crow. > > >Part 2 > > Ryan didn't sleep soundly that night. TOM: Sandra, you call this subtle? > His mind was under attack by >nightmares MIKE: REDRUM! > of the past occurrences CROW: Like his first date. > ...Robotropolis, roboticization of his >finger, Packbell leering at him, the pain... TOM: Dr. Smith? > The metamorph's dreams were distorted by the fear in his heart, and >twisted still by pain. TOM: Dr. Smith? > > Packbell smiled TOM: Yeah, I know... > evilly. "Well, well...we meet again." MIKE: "REDRUM!" > Ryan hung in a cage, surrounded by ghosts of people he had never seen, >but knew used to be Freedom Fighters before they were either killed or >roboticized. CROW: Because they were individually labeled and polywrapped. > One stood out from the rest. MIKE: It was Fabio. TOM: Ah kahnt beleef it's not buttah. > "E...Eric? CROW: "Th-the Viking? Oh, God. NO!" > But I saved you..." > The ghost moved forward. TOM: Then turned around and bent down. CROW: [Ryan] "HEY!" > Packbell and the other wraiths disappeared. MIKE: Pop! >"No, you never did. My soul was ripped TOM: "...And was encoded into an MP3." > from my body in the roboticizer. My >flesh turned to metal, my mind subverted. Now I wander in eternal agony, never >being able to reclaim my lost body." CROW: That line sounded like something right out of a King's Quest game, didn't it? > "No! This is just a dream!" MIKE: "REDRUM!" > "Wrong, the way in which you saved me was a dream. MIKE: "REDRUM!" > It's your fault I >am now like this..." MIKE: "REDRUM!" > "I didn't mean to! Can you forgive me Eric?!" MIKE: "REDRUM!" > The image of Sir Kain, known to Ryan as Eric, TOM: Whoa, good thing he reminded us of that important plot point. > shimmered and faded. CROW: "Beam me up, Scotty." >Ryan collapsed and began to cry, out came tears of mourning and fear. TOM: His school photo of him with spinach jammed in his teeth was going into the year book. > Fear was >a block of ice that had formed around his heart. CROW: We keep our hearts in ice to keep them yummy-fresh. > "Oh..poor you..." Packbell leered from behind him now. MIKE: "REDRUM!" > "Why don't I >help you? I know... MIKE: "REDRUM!" > I'll put you out of your misery..." MIKE: "REDRUM!" > Packbell lifted the laser rifle, and a black beam lanced from it. Ryan >felt the impact into his chest...and the burning as his skin melted... TOM: I'm glad this story doesn't have pictures... CROW: Yech. > > The next thing Ryan knew, he was MIKE: Ooo, another fill-in-the-blank. > thrashing and screaming in his bed. CROW: Actually, one only thrashes in bed in between the small times where one is not dreaming. But since he was just waking up, I'll let that one slide. >His shapeshifting had gone wild, MIKE: It's just wahld, man. Wahld. > and he saw the concerned faces of his friends. TOM: All one of them. >He slowly stopped his dream-induced panic, MIKE: And three weeks later... > and began to regain his control. >The shifting stopped, and he settled down, TOM: I think we get the point that he's regaining control, here. > changing back into his fox form, CROW: So what he *really* meant to say earlier was "Never expect to see me in my human form, but this." > and >removing his hand from the comet chunk, which had been tightly clasped in it. MIKE: Oh, I thought it was tightly clasped in his *foot* when he removed his hand from it. > Ryan was still trying to understand what had happened, CROW: [Sonic] "Hey, {hehe} should we tell him what he did with the apple juice?" TOM: [Sally] "No, Sonic." CROW: [Sonic] "Aw, man." > but suddenly, >he broke down into tears again, MIKE: Again? I thought that was a dream sequence. > not ashamed of the action...he didn't care. >Sonic cleared everyone else but himself, Sally, and Bookshire CROW: ...of Satanism. > from the hut. >The hedgehog looked around, TOM: [Sonic] "Hey, where's everyone goin'?" > and spoke. "What happened?" > Ryan regained a measure of control, MIKE: Oh, good, he's back to normal. > and said, CROW: "The last thing I remember is several bottles of apple juice, and..." > "A nightmare... MIKE: "REDRUM!" TOM: All right, Mike. That's enough, dear. > I dreamt >that I hadn't rescued Eric...er...Sir Kain, and I was captured by >Packbell TOM: "Or was it Tandy? No, no, it was definitely a Packard Bell...unless it was a Gateway 2000..." > ...he...he MIKE: Quit laughing. This is serious. > shot me with a black laser..." > Sally nodded. CROW: She's like one of those toy birds that bobs into the glass of water. > "I understand. You saw too much in one day. Take a >rest tomorrow, a walk in the forest might help. TOM: "And if you happen to hear a fleet of hover units coming after you, just ignore it." > I know...I had the same >problem after the coup. Only my dreams dealt with my father." CROW: Characterization. > Sonic also nodded, showing he had had the same problem at some time. MIKE: [Sonic] "I dreamt that Ryan got blown by a black laser, too." > Ryan wiped his eyes dry, TOM: [Ben Stein] Have dry, irritated eyes? Then try Clear Eye...dude. > and stood, taking a deep breath. MIKE: Until he inflated to thirty feet in diameter. > "I'll...be >alright. Don't worry." > All of his friends nodded, and left...except Bookshire who stayed just >long enough to say, CROW: "I am gonna whoop yer ass this afternoon." > "I also had dreams... TOM: Please think about what you're gonna say before you say it. Who HASN'T had dreams?? > don't ever let them take advantage of >your MIKE: Lunch money. > emotions...that can easily hurt you." > Ryan nodded, and Bookshire left. CROW: I see as a follow-up to last story's smiling, there shall now be tons of nodding. > The young man sniffed TOM: "Phew. Gross. What *is* that?" > and mentally >chided himself. "Real good going...you looked like a kid in front of them." >Ryan knew they understood and didn't blame him for the breakdown, but he still >felt foolish. > "You ok?" MIKE: Pronounced "awk." No periods or capitalizing. CROW: [Ryan] "Of course I'm awk. I'm always awk. How 'bout you? Are you awk?" > Ryan turned slowly to see Sandra by the window, and nodded. CROW: See? See? I told you guys! > "By God, >Sandra... MIKE: Not exactly your typical teenage dialogue. > you don't make a sound...you'll have to teach me that sometime." > "Oh, don't worry...I fully intend to." > Ryan's eyes became wide. TOM: [Inflating sound effects] > "Wha? What do you mean?" MIKE: Jeez. CROW: [Sandra] "I MEAN I...WILL...TEACH...YOU...TO...MOVE...STEALTHILY!" > Sandra smiled. TOM: Yeah, yeah. > "I mean I'm going to teach you a few things about >stealth." CROW: SEE? SEE? I TOLD YOU! MIKE: The Richard Simmons, Crow. CROW: I'll shut up. > "Wait a sec...you smiled?" TOM: "In this story? How is it possible??" > Ryan said, grinning. TOM: Smiling. > "I smile TOM: Sheesh. > when it suits me. Got a problem?" > "Nope...sorry. I take it back... You're colder'n ice." CROW: "The ice that keeps my heart yummy-fresh." > Sandra's gaze became slightly hard for a second, MIKE: She just got hard contacts. > and then she saw >Ryan's smile, TOM: Mmf. > and she laughed quietly. CROW: [Dot Warner] Tee hee; kirtsy laugh. > "You're lucky we're friends." > Ryan smiled again. TOM: ARGH! > "I know...you've killed for more'n that, eh?" > It was now Sandra's turn to smile. TOM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! > "No, I've simply respected people >for less than that." > Ryan blinked. MIKE: He just got soft contacts. > Sandra said, "I respect people with courage like that, CROW: Huh? Could someone point out this courage to me? MIKE: Take it easy on him, Crow. He was too young when he wrote this. > but I have >friends who have that and sense. You have both." TOM: Now here's the part where we laugh our heads off in total disbelief. ALL: [Laugh their heads off in total disbelief] > "Ah... TOM: "Choo." > I see. It goes no further than respect CROW: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. TOM: Is that what it means to you? CROW: I guess. > ...you can still hate >them, right?" > "Right." MIKE: Oh, now I don't get it. > "Seems each time we have one of these conversations, we learn more of >each other. TOM: Gee, what are the chances of that? > Do you think we'll ever know all of each other's secrets?" > "I may find yours... CROW: "Like what you did with that apple juice. God!" > good luck getting mine." MIKE: "You'll have it." > Ryan sighed, TOM: Then smiled? > then smiled. TOM: I knew it. > "Good luck to you, Sandra. I'll see you >tomorrow." > Sandra waved, then jumped out the window. CROW: [Ryan] "Sandra, wait! We're eight stories up!" > Ryan moved over to look >outside. Sandra was nowhere to be seen. MIKE: [Ryan] "What's that red smudge on the freeway? Nah, that can't be her..." > "I have _really_ got to learn that..." TOM: [Hums "Shave and a Hair Cut"] > > >Part 3 > > The next morning, before Ryan was fully coherent, MIKE: ...he was incoherent. > he wandered in the >general direction of the Power Ring Pool. CROW: And fell in. Since he was too tired to swim, he just let himself drown. > All he expected was a nice place to >sit and wake up...but he got much more than that when he arrived. TOM: He had to stand and wake up. > Ryan stumbled over to a log and sat. MIKE: On a knothole....Not the village, I mean a real knothole. > Suddenly, the pool began to glow >golden. CROW: Quit peeing in the pool. > Ryan jumped back no longer groggy, and gaped at the sight. MIKE: Gahhhhhhhhhhhh...Gawh, gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... > The waters began to swirl, TOM: And turned into soft serve ice cream. > and a huge cone of water rose into the sky, >suddenly falling back down, depositing a golden ring in the sky which hovered >for a moment before beginning to fall. CROW: So an angel fell into the water and the halo was more buoyant so it flung out of the water into the air? > Before it hit the water again, Ryan >felt a strong breeze. TOM: Then he realized that in his grogginess, he had forgotten to dress. > The next thing he knew, Sonic stood there holding the >ring. MIKE: He's standing on the water? How'd he pull that off? > Sonic smirked. TOM: Smiled. > "Now ya know why we call it the Power Ring Pool." > Ryan stopped gaping and said, MIKE: "REDRUM!" - No, wait... > "No doubt...but...what is that?" CROW: Let me guess; a power ring? > "Well...this ring gives me speed I wouldn't normally have. It was >built by my Uncle Chuck before he was...roboticized. One day we'll get him >back..." MIKE: Characterization. > Ryan nodded. CROW: Hey, Servo, how about I count the nods, and you count the smiles. TOM: I think it's a bit late for that. > "I see. Later, Sonic." > Sonic smiled TOM: On the other hand... > quickly and ran off. > > Sandra Nightweaver watched from the woods. "Should I talk to him >now..or later, when he's in the forest...?" she thought. MIKE: Ah, women can never choose. > She smiled mentally. TOM: Going for a telekinetic smile now? >"The forest." > The black-furred fox CROW: What? Who? Ryan? MIKE: Sandra, I think. > continued to watch from the foliage MIKE: [Marge Simpson] Ahh, isn't the foilage beautiful? CROW: [Lisa] Mom, that's foliage. MIKE: [Marge] I *said* foilage. It doesn't take a genius to pronounce "foilage." CROW: [Lisa 'grr'ing] > as Ryan shook TOM: ...his booty. >his head, and walked off. "Hmm...I really do like that fox form of his >better," she thought...right before she yet again disappeared MIKE: Let's give a round of applause for David Copperfield. > into the forest. > > Ryan wandered around Knothole for a little while, TOM: "Where the hell is the men's room?" > then went to the >center of the village to see of the group head off for a mission. Before they >left, Sally came up to him. > "Ryan, please take the advice I gave you and take a walk in the >forest... CROW: "Not that I want you to get captured. Oh, no. Heaven forbid. {hehehe}" > It may help." > Ryan looked at her and CROW: I say nodded. TOM: Ten bucks says "smiled." CROW: Yer on! > smiled. CROW: D'OH! > "Don't worry, Sally...I fully intend >to." MIKE: [Sally] "Oh, yes. Ha ha ha. Oh, wait. Sorry. Didn't mean it." TOM: C'mon, Crow, pay up. CROW: Uhhhh... > "That's good," she said, smiling now. TOM: D'RGH. > "It may be the forest...but >still, be careful. The is the remote chance a wandering robot finds you." MIKE: "Just remotely. Really. Really. Go on." > "I will," Ryan said. As Sally and the few other Freedom Fighters >turned to leave, Ryan waved. MIKE: ...nodded and smiled. TOM: All right, Crow, cough up the dough. CROW: Gee, I seemed to have, heh, left it in my otherrrrrr [starts to run off] WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHH!! TOM: [As Mike picks him up] C'mon, Mike! Get 'im!! [Mike gives chase after Crow] > As they left, he followed a bit behind to head >into the Great Forest. > [SAFE...2...3...4...5...6...Klunk-shunk!] CROW: [Holding a script] Okay you have your stupid money. Now, may I propose my idea? MIKE: [A la the stinger of "The Clonus Horror"] Sure! CROW: Thank you. A-hem [pronouncing the word]. Since you, Mike, has not had the privilege to view the prequel to this lovely story, I give you my invention, the Cliff's play. TOM: Eh? CROW: Yes the Cliff's play. A combination playlette and Cliff's Notes, this little screenplay can sum up what happened in our last "episode", not too dissimilar to every second season episode of "Disney's Gargoyles." I have already begun casting. I shall play the part of the princess. TOM: {Pfft! Ha ha} The *princess*?? Whadda fem'! CROW: Hey! Gypsy didn't want the part. Besides, I have the figure for it. And Tom, you lucky dog, *you* get to play the lead character! TOM: Ryan? CROW: Uh, no. Sonic the Hedgehog. Mike is Ryan. GYPSY: [Coming from the left] What do I get to do? CROW: You? You quit. GYPSY: I did? Wow, that was stupid. TOM: Actually, I find that quite intelligent at this point. CROW: Well, lesse. I have an opening for Sandra. GYPSY: Hell, no. CROW: Take it or leave it. GYPSY: Take it, of course. CROW: Umm... yeah. Okay, everyone, memorize your parts over this break. We'll be right back. MIKE: That's my line. We'll be r- CROW: Excuse me, Mike, but I *did* say it first. MIKE: So what? It's my job. We'll be right- CROW: That's it! You're fired! MIKE: Good. CROW: In that case, you're rehired! MIKE: Dammit. [Commercial]