> >Part 4 [Mike and the 'bots enter and sit down] > > Ryan walked through the forest. TOM: To Grandma's house he goes. > He admired the tall trees, MIKE: [Ryan] "Boy, those trees are tall..." > the green >leaves all over, MIKE: [Ryan] "Wow, there are green leaves all over..." > the grass slightly wet with dew. MIKE: [Ryan] "And the grass. It couldn't be more slightly wet with dew." > He walked around, breathing >it in, CROW: [SNORT! Choke! HACK! COUGH COUGH!] > and relaxing. MIKE: [Ryan] "I'm relaxing." > He heard something behind him. MIKE: [Ryan] "I hear something behind me." CROW: All right, Mike. > He thought quickly... TOM: [Ryan] "I like fudge. Adam Sandler's a GOOD lyricist. What the heck is pu-pu platter? My feet hurt." > he didn't want to >let whatever know he knew of it... CROW: He turned into a valley girl. > so he slowly turned his head TOM: [Robotic pumps moving; Buh-gssshhhhhhh-click] > enough to see >behind him, but to make it look like he was looking at a tree. MIKE: [Ryan] "Those trees are tall." > He didn't see >anything...yet. CROW: Oh, except for that tree. > > Sandra held a snapped twig in her hand. She smiled. TOM: Yeah. > "Good job, >Ryan..." she thought. MIKE: "You snap twigs well." > "Most would have spun and yelled 'Who's there'...but you >didn't. CROW: And the thought never occurs to her that he may have not heard anything. > Wise move making it not look like you were actually looking for >someone." MIKE: "Looking at a tree. Pure genius. You are of superior intellect. I should kill myself for not being as smart as you. God, are you wise!" > Ryan looked back ahead, and moved on. Sandra followed. > > Ryan sat on a stump that was nearby. TOM: [Ryan] "Could someone hand me a magazine?" > He pretended to close his eyes, CROW: While being on the can, it's a good time to meditate. >after pulling out the strange comet...just in case he had to morph into >something that could beat a hasty retreat. MIKE: Um, where did he grab that comet from? BOTS: Ewwwwwww. MIKE: What?... Heyyy... > He waited and watched. MIKE: He shook the comet and saw a little snow storm inside it. > He saw a few leaves rustle, then nothing. Fear coursed through him, >but he held his ground TOM: And got dirt under his fingernails. > ...not even flinching. "I have to not move," he thought. >"If I do, and whatever that is sees me..I may be in more trouble than now." CROW: So the narrator didn't explain it enough? Now the character has to perform exposition? > > Sandra smiled TOM: What else is new? MIKE: [Sandra] "Staying in one place so I can easily attack him! He is so brilliant!!" > at the ploy, and circled around, brushing a few branches >on purpose. She began to circle around. CROW: Then after that she circled around, then circled around. After a bit of time, she circled around. > After a few seconds, she was directly behind Ryan. TOM: After passing by him so many times from circling him like a Merry-Go- Round. > She made a small >sound, MIKE: [Sandra] "Pardon." > and Ryan quickly leaped to his feet, CROW: [Ryan] "Ew! The smell!" > and swiveled TOM: ...his coffee. > , with his roboticized >finger leveled right at her chest. CROW: Wow! > "Hold it MIKE: "Boy am I holding it." > rig-...Sandra?" Ryan said. > Sandra smiled. TOM: Rrr. > "Who else? Can you please not aim that at me, it's not >polite to point..." CROW: I'm thinking of some other impolite things at this moment. > Ryan smiled TOM: Yup. > as well, lowering his arm. CROW: Right towards her- MIKE & TOM: CROW!!! > "You had me there for >awhile CROW: "And then I had you." > ...I was scared." TOM: "I never touched a girl before." > "As any smart person should be... You did well." MIKE: "Except that next time, could you poke a particular one instead of in the middle?" > "Hold on... CROW: "I know *I* am." > That was... TOM: I'm not gonna say it. > a test?" CROW: If this had been an actual touch, you'd have been slapped. > "Yes...I wanted to see how much I needed to teach you of caution and >subtlety MIKE: "I'm kinda glad you weren't too subtle." > ...not much, I see." > Ryan smiled again. TOM: D'oh! > "Good...any words to the wise?" CROW: [Sandra] "Sure do! Know any wisemen I can tell?" > "Keep the fox form..it suits you." > Ryan said, with mock surprise, TOM: "Jeez, surprise, yer stupid. And ugly. Bet you can't catch me, surprise." > "That's _all_? Surely you have more to >tell this humble student..." > Sandra's eyes drooped a little. MIKE: They oozed out like Silly Putty. > "Watch it...or I may not." > Ryan closed his mouth, and Sandra smiled. TOM: This is getting old. > "Easy..." Sandra said. "I was kidding." > Ryan exhaled sharply. MIKE: [Whoosh, stab, and vibration sound effects] CROW: OWW! Damn kids! > "Don't do that, Sandra! You really had me CROW: "Or was it the other way around?" >worried that you wouldn't talk to me any more..." TOM: True friendship is when you are in deep suspicion of each other. > "Don't worry...you're my friend. MIKE: [Singing] Together again, my friend, just you and me. > It's been about twelve years since I >had someone I could call my friend.. MIKE: [Singing] Together again, my friend, just you and me. > and I'm not about to lose one now." CROW: "Hey, where'd he go?? Dammit!" > Ryan smiled at Sandra. TOM: I swear, guys, the next time that happens, my head's gonna explode. > "That's good...because I'd hate to not see you >as well." > Sandra blushed, though Ryan couldn't tell through her fur. >"Well...lesson one..." > Ryan listened closely. MIKE: [Ryan] "I - am - in - tres - ted." > Sandra continued. "Always watch your back... TOM: "Swallow a mutagen so you grow eyes behind your head." > even when you're with >someone...you never know what's around." > Ryan nodded. CROW: Haven't had one of these in a while. TOM: Wish I could say the same. > "Lesson two...never, no matter what, MIKE: "...watch 'Boy Meets World.' It's life or death when it comes to that." > underestimate your opponent...it >could be the death of you." > Ryan nodded again. CROW: Well... > "Final lesson...never try more than MIKE: "...one brand of laundry detergent at the same time." > you know you can do. Never take >unnecessary risks." CROW: "Be your weakling self." > Ryan smiled. [Tom's head explodes] MIKE: WAUGH! CROW: He wasn't lying. MIKE: [Clearing away smoke] 'Sokay? TOM: 'Sall right. > "I won't forget. MIKE: "Whatever it was you said." > Anything else?" > "Not really. I could teach you some tracking. CROW: "Whenever your videotape won't play a clean image, press the up and down buttons on your VCR remote." > Try to follow me." > "Alright." > "Turn that way," Sandra said, pointing. TOM: Doesn't have the same effect as when Ryan did it. > "and don't look behind you." MIKE: "Even though that was your first lesson." > Ryan turned around and didn't look back. CROW: Obedient, is he not? > Sandra said, "Ok. Good. Count to twenty." > Ryan began to count, TOM: One, two, five... CROW: Three, sir. TOM: Three... > and Sandra slipped off... MIKE: ...her gown and told Ryan to turn back around. > leaving a few footprints >and snapped twigs behind her as a trail. CROW: Then some obsessed beavers came and used the twigs for a dam, leaving Sandra cold and alone, slowly dying of starvation... MIKE: That's... pretty dark. CROW: Oh, thanks. MIKE: That wasn't - Never mind... > > >Part 5 TOM: Fox had had no originality after 'The Simpsons'. MIKE: What? TOM: 'Part 5'?... [No response] ...'Party of Five'? Get it?... Heck with it. > > Ryan had been following the trail for nearly two hours... MIKE: And made it about three feet. > but he dare >not give up. He began to think to himself. TOM: "I wonder what Rocky the Flying Squirrel looks like without his hat..." > "There is no way I'm going to lose >this trail... CROW: "Where ever the heck it went." > I have to find her and prove I can do it." MIKE: {AHEM!} Well. > > Sandra moved on, a good half mile ahead of Ryan. TOM: [Sandra] "Why does he keep following me!?" > She moved along MIKE: ...foot loose and fancy free. >silently, snapping a few twigs here...ripping small amounts of leaves and bark >off there... CROW: Leaves being ripped to shreds *naturally* happens when you're hiking. TOM: Call me kooky, but may she be giving him a slight edge? > She took a moment to climb a tree, and looked back. There was Ryan >working through the bushes. TOM: From a half-mile back. Boy, she has good sight. > She smiled. [Tom blows up] TOM: [Weakly] I'm allllllllllll right. MIKE: Yeesh! > He was still a half mile back, but >that's closer than she expected. CROW: 'That IS closer than she expected'? Quit changing tenses. > > Ryan kept on moving. MIKE: ...foot loose and fancy free. > He concentrated on the trail... CROW: He tried to lift it with his mind. > then he remembered. > Always watch your back... TOM: And search the skies! > Ryan turned back just in time to see a SWATbot... MIKE: Convenient time to remember to look back. > it hadn't seen him, >and he moved sideways into the brush, making little noise. TOM: Unfortunately, that brush was combed through Alan Hale's hair. > Thoughts raced >through his head, ALL: [Singing] Go, Thought Racer, go, Thought Racer, go, Thought Racer, go! > but only a few made sense. MIKE: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? > "What the hell is that?! CROW: Hey! This is a fanfic based on a cartoon! *Kids* could be reading! > If it's >from Robotropolis...I didn't see that thing last time... Wait a sec! Sandra! >It's heading along the trail she left... TOM: Um, what is this? Did the narrator take a break? > whether it knows about her or not..I >have to hope she either sees it, MIKE: "Or it finds her. NO WAIT..." > or I find her first." > > Sandra moved on for another quarter mile, and climbed a nearby tree CROW: She does a bit of that. > to >wait. She heard some rustling leaves. TOM: [Sandra] "Jeez. The sound effects men are late again." > "He couldn't have moved that >fast..could he have?" she thought. MIKE: Mmm, the sentence doesn't sound quite right, does it? TOM: I dunno. It sounds like proper English, but still... > A SWATbot came out of nowhere, CROW: Oh, c'mon. *Everything* comes from someplace! > walking straight up to the tree Sandra >was in, MIKE: It walks directly to the tree yet doesn't see Ryan right in front of him. > and said in its robot monotone, "You-will-surrender-now. Resistance-is- >futile." TOM: I-hate-the-way-he-stereotypes-robots-in-this-story. CROW: Mike,-how-come-he-has-a-dash-in-between-every-word-it-says?-Is-it- talking-fast? MIKE: I-think-it's-supposed-to-represent-monotone. TOM: But-the-author-all-ready-specified-it-was-monotone.-So,-why-the-dashes? MIKE: Answer-unclear.-Please-try-again. > Sandra tried to climb higher up so she could jump to the next tree. >The SWATbot raised its arm, TOM: [SWATbot] {sniff-sniff} "Gee,-I-really-*do*-smell.-Maybe-I-should-get- some-Old-Spice." > and a stun beam impacted into Sandra. CROW: The author sure loves to use 'impact' as a verb. > She came >crashing to the ground. MIKE: She's been watching too many Road Runner cartoons. > Luckily, a bush below cushioned the fall, CROW: That happened to be a rose bush. TOM: Then she rolled into the poison oak. > and she >wasn't hurt badly. > > Ryan was running now. MIKE: [Hums the "Chariots of Fire" theme] > He had heard the humming shot, and the crash. TOM: [Ryan] "Oh, God! Poor humming bird." >He only prayed he wasn't too late. MIKE: [Ryan] "There may be still time to catch 'Seinfeld'!" > He came to a tiny clearing, CROW: [Woman voice] Now, watch out, Bambi... > and saw the >SWATbot reaching toward Sandra's body. TOM: The SWATbot started pointing at her chest. > He growled and charged the SWATbot, his MIKE: The SWATbot hypnotized him into believing he was a bull. >rage taking over. He raised his roboticized finger, CROW: [Ryan] "Flip you, `bot!" > and let loose a shot. TOM: [Ryan] "Boy, that feels better." > The SWATbot was blown back a few yards, but got up and came at Ryan. MIKE: Robotnik had apparently forgotten to program accumulated memory. > Ryan ran up to Sandra's body CROW: ...and pointed at her chest. > and lifted her up into his arms. MIKE: ...then carried her across the threshold. > Then he >ran like hell. TOM: How *does* hell run, anyway. MIKE: The hell I know. CROW: Why the hell does he keep repeating 'hell'? It's annoying as hell! TOM: It's like he's saying it for the hell of it. > He went as fast and as far as he could...realizing it would >either be both or him, he hid Sandra's unconscious form in a bush, CROW: So it wasn't really her, it was just a form of her. > and stood >there. TOM: [Ryan] "C'mon... when is that SWATbot gonna kill me?... I can't stand here all day, y'know!..." > The SWATbot came up, and before Ryan could dodge, hit him with the same >beam that had knocked out Sandra. MIKE: SWATbots recycle, shouldn't you? > The SWATbot picked up the new limp form, TOM: It's your new limp form! > and >carried it back to a nearby Hover Unit. It drove back to Robotropolis. TOM: The end. Let's go guys. [Mike picks up Tom as he and Crow leave] > > >Part 6 TOM: Oh, fart. [All sit back down] > > Packbell was still furious CROW: As hell. > with the new arrival to Mobius... MIKE: It took months to get there due to the UPS strike. > he had >outwitted and humiliated him. TOM: [Packbell] "I have a brain the size of a leech." > He wasn't about to tell Robotnik... No, >no... CROW: That would mean actually adding a character of the original cartoon's cast. > this was a personal vendetta... > Dents were beginning to decorate the walls. MIKE: [Scandinavian women] Oh, isn't it pretty. He did it all himself. > That fool laser of Ryan's >had been the closest thing to ever hurting him... CROW: And to think it was meant for welding. > probably not even Sonic could >cause this much damage. TOM: Who's Sonic? I forget now. MIKE: I think he's supposed to be the star of the show this fanfic is based on. TOM: Are you sure? MIKE: I definitely am not. > The newcomer was a definite threat. CROW: Well, you *gave* him that laser-firing finger, you idiot! > Packbell glanced over prisoner reports, MIKE: [Packbell] "Tim Allen is accused of DWI, again... Eddie Murphy picked up a WHAT??" > almost gleefully noting another >had been captured. Then he noticed something that surprised him... TOM: His cousins Tandy and Mac where back to haunt him! > "What?! A _unidentified_ fox?!" MIKE: Fox's ratings aren't *that* bad. TOM: 'A unidentified'? I guess androids can't be all perfect. > he thought to himself. "I have access >to all resident files before the coup...and this prisoner is too old to have >been born after the coup... CROW: How can one person have a list everyone born in the world? MIKE: It's fiction, honey. Try to play along. > I'll see this for myself..." > Packbell got up, and headed toward the prisoner blocks. > > Sandra finally came to in the forest, about ten minutes after Ryan was >taken prisoner. TOM: [Sandra] "Finally, I ditched him!" > She rubbed her head and MIKE: ...pointed to her chest. CROW: And nodded. TOM: And smiled. > thought out loud, "Ouch... Last thing >I remember is that SWATbot...can't believe I was almost..." MIKE: Eating pudding? CROW: Touched by a llama? TOM: Sitting on bread mold? MIKE: Sucking water from a john? CROW: Collecting tiny Elvis souvenirs? TOM: Finish your sentence. > Sandra looked around, and it hit her... MIKE: So she passed out for another ten minutes. > she wasn't in the same place. >"If I've been moved...then CROW: "I guess I bounced pretty high." > Ryan must have been able to move me here...but where- >The SWATbot!" TOM: It- At Robotropolis. > She said it out loud, MIKE: As was previously mentioned. > almost as if to make sure this was really >happening. CROW: She poked her chest to make sure. MIKE: CROW! > She thought to herself now. TOM: Out loud, or...? > "I have to find him... If Packbell lays >his hands on Ryan, he won't last a second." MIKE: I guess his hands are really filthy. > Sandra jumped to here feet TOM: And then to there feet. Then some somewhere feet as well. > and began to run towards Robotropolis. > > Packbell had finally Reached the prisoner blocks, CROW: Made from Legos, cuz, you know, they're blocks. Ha ha... shoot me. > and was searching out >the newly captured fox. MIKE: Searching? He escaped all ready? > He came across him and looked closely. Something >tugged at the back of his artificial mind, CROW: It was an artificial stroke. > but he didn't quite grasp it, MIKE: I wouldn't want to grasp an artificial mind, either. > which >was very lucky for Ryan. TOM: Ryan's life is pretty much based on luck. > The prisoner looked up at the android. His breath caught in his >throat, and he feared he'd choke. Packbell grinned TOM: Smiled. > mirthlessly and said, >"Welcome, prisoner...enjoy you're stay CROW: "...at Hilton." > before you're roboticized. I don't know >who you are, but I'll interrogate you later." TOM: "Knowing who you are just doesn't seem to interest me at the moment." > Ryan almost sighed with relief. "Thank God...he doesn't recognize me!" >he thought. "If he had..." > Ryan gulped mentally. MIKE: He swallowed his brain. > Looking down, he saw his roboticized finger...if >that wasn't a giveaway, then he was ruler of Mobius..he quickly covered it with >his other hand... CROW: [Packbell] "Why did you quickly cover your hand?" TOM: [Ryan] "Itch." CROW: [Packbell] "Well, I suppose you can be trusted." > he'd use it to escape later. > Packbell gloated TOM: Smiled. > a bit more. Apparently satisfied, he walked off. MIKE: [Packbell] "That's all I needed to know. Heh heh.... Hey, wait, what *did* I learn?..." > Ryan walked closer to the bars TOM: Gimme a 'Bloody Mary'. > and looked around. The end of the hall, >the opposite end from the exit Packbell took, was about twenty feet away. He >might be able to make it... > Never try more than you can do... CROW: Said the elves. > Sandra's advice echoed in his head. MIKE: RICOLA! -LA -la -la... > He guessed it meant what you >weren't sure of, either... TOM: [Ryan] "Oh, well. I guess I should let myself be killed." > He realized a SWATbot could be down there, or >approaching. He looked some more...and saw something. CROW: Groucho Marx! > An air duct was right across from him. He knew that was his only other >chance, and a much better one. He aimed his finger MIKE: ...at Sandra's chest. > with the laser and fired, >melting through the lock on the duct first... TOM: [Ryan] "Now how do I get out of this cell?..." > then the one on his cell. He >looked quickly, opened the door, closed it, CROW: Oh, good. He closed it. It'll make it seem like he never left. > and ran MIKE: Like hell. > to the duct. Opening it, >he rushed inside, closing it behind him as well. > He began to head in the general direction of Robotropolis' city >limits... TOM: Why would the building's air duct lead out of town? That must be some central cooling system. [All leave] [Commercial]