[Enter Mike and the Bots] > > >Part 11 > > Sandra hurried to move up to Ryan's position MIKE: [Ryan] "Sandra, this is no time. I'm getting killed here." > when she saw him. He >stepped out and froze. CROW: Mr. Freeze got to Mobius, too. MIKE: 'He stepped out'? Sandra got a sex change operation. [All shiver] > Sandra heard the voice... TOM: [Whispering] If you build it, they will come... > and knew who it was. PACKBELL! MIKE: IN SENSURROUND! > Sandra moved to one side of the duct hatch, where she couldn't be seen, CROW: So time backed up a little for this part, apparently. MIKE: He knows how to use a cliffhanger. >and saw if she could do anything. TOM: Only move to one side of the duct hatch where she couldn't be seen. > She was just in time to see Ryan get shot. CROW: [Sandra] "Just in time." > > The beam impacted into Ryan's chest. An explosion broke loose, TOM: WHOA! Someone should have told Ryan to not saturate himself in nitro. > and >Ryan felt something shatter. CROW: [Ryan] "Oh, poo. My skull." > Power surged through him... TOM: SUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRGE! > he felt changed. > Ryan was aware of a shouted "NO!" from behind him. MIKE: "I don't want any drugs." ALL: Drug free's the way to be! > A black streak, CROW: [Singing] Speeds by! >seemingly moving faster than Sonic could shot in front of him, and planted a >kick to Packbell's hand. TOM: Where'd she find kick seeds? I've been looking all over for some of those. > The laser rifle went into the air, spinning lazily. MIKE: [As the laser rifle] Well, don't quite feel like spinning. Well, another day, another dollar. Ho-hum. > Sandra jumped up CROW: Got outta bed, brushed a comb over her head. >and grabbed it, pointing it at Packbell. > Sandra growled. TOM: "DRIVE!" > "Let us go now...or you die..." > Packbell began to laugh, MIKE: [Packbell] "Heh, heh. Well, I guess you had to be there." > but a roar erupted from behind Sandra. TOM: Y'know, there's another Mexican food joke here, but they're kinda repetitive. >Packbell looked over her shoulder, and for the first time in his "life", CROW: Boy, you're telling *me* he doesn't have a real life. >Packbell felt fear. MIKE: It was warm and prickly. > > >Part 12 TOM: That's how many Police Academy movies they made. > > Ryan looked down, and saw greenish shards of crystal laying around. MIKE: [Ryan] "MY LOLLYPOP!" >His means of changing form was gone! > The floodgates opened. TOM: Meanwhile, at the Hoover Dam... > Rage from being ripped CROW: ...and encoded into an MP3. > from his home, MIKE: No more wide fields. > rage at >Packbell for the pain inflicted upon him, TOM: Forced to watch reruns of the Sinbad show. > and rage for this... MIKE: This thingie. > the destruction >of his sole link to the past coursed through his veins. CROW: His soul link to his past was LSD? > Anger became >tangible...reason became nothing. > A change came over Ryan in a split second. His skin and new fur became >tough and purplish. His teeth became two feet long, his mouth large enough to >hold them. Legs shorted to stublike appendages, arms became heavily muscled, >veins throbbing. [All are laughing] TOM: He just described Peter Puppy! Hehe! > He had become a monster. CROW: {Pffft} Yeah, if you're into those Japanese "classics" sorta thing. Hehehe! > The thing that had been Ryan saw Packbell. For some reason it felt the >need MIKE: ...for speed. > to kill it. It saw the other, but didn't care...yet. TOM: [Sandra] "He cares. Really." > The non-Ryan lumbered toward the android, [All hum 'Powerhouse'] > legs scraping the ground, >grunting and snorting. CROW: Oh, he turned into Bob Dole. > He was going to tear the android from limb to limb. MIKE: [Monster] "I love you." > He was finally in range. Three foot claws raked the android, actually >digging deep into the metal, exposing circuitry. CROW: Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick. TOM: Robot guts. Ewwy. > Another slash...sparks. The >android screamed... MIKE: [Packbell] "Don't rip me *there*!" > not in rage..but fear, and blinked out. TOM: I knew it was a bad idea to hook our android to the Clapper. > The non-Ryan didn't >know anything of teleporters. CROW: Teleporters? Where? Huh? MIKE: Um, 'blinked out' means 'teleport' rather than fainting, I guess. > It focused it's attention on Sandra. TOM: [Monster] "Hot mama!" > > Sandra had seen what had happened, and had quickly moved out of the >way. Now the thing that she used to know as Ryan moved at her. CROW: [Monster] "C'mon, kiss me baby. It's still huggalovable me inside!" > "Ryan..." she said, "I know you're still in there somewhere...try to >change back. Don't you see? You don't need that comet...you changed by >yourself." MIKE: [Monster] "No I didn't. My make-up just peeled off." > The thing blinked CROW: So he teleported now? MIKE: No, I think he just blinked. CROW: I'm confused. TOM: Nothing new. > and hesitated. It lumbered forward for a moment more >and growled. Another step, a snort. CROW: He has those slippers that make funny noises when you walk. > Another step...nothing. CROW: And the batteries ran out. > The non-Ryan began to regain its mind. The bloodlust fled. [Tom whimpers] > He changed >back...now effortlessly, with no real need for concentration. MIKE: Who needs that card game, anyway? > He shook his head, CROW: {Wubba wubba wubba} > now a fox again. "S...Sandra? What happened?" > She smiled a bit TOM: Back to this. > and shook her head. CROW: {Wubba wubba wubba} > "I do believe...that...is a story >best left for later. Let's get out of here." > Ryan nodded. CROW: Back to this. > > >Part 13 MIKE: Our lucky number. > > Ryan laughed. MIKE: My comment wasn't *that* funny. > "I really did that much to Packbell?!" TOM: "I almost killed Packbell. Haha! That is so hilarious!" > He suddenly >sobered. MIKE: "Oh, I gotta go pray to the porcelain gods, now." > "But..I wasn't in control... CROW: "You women are always trying to take over." > you barely snapped TOM: "But it was bound to happen sooner or later." > me out of it. >Sandra..I could have killed you... MIKE: "You could have died of laughter from my 'monster' appearance." > I couldn't have lived with myself after >that." CROW: Well, except if you were still a monster. > Sandra smiled. TOM: If you gain a wrinkle every time you smile, this woman must look like a prune by now. > "You couldn't? I must say...I'm flattered. Anyway, I >had to see if you were still in there... MIKE: "Y'know, like a Matrushka doll." > and I would have put up a good fight >for you if you hadn't come around." > "Oh?" > "It took about seven royal guards to keep me down when they caught >me..if they ever caught me." CROW: So did they, Mike? MIKE: Uh... CROW: Oh, I just wanna go home now. > Ryan laughed. "Gave them some training, eh?" > Sandra laughed a bit as well. TOM: Laughing's contagious. > "I guess you could say that. You did >well today. You are quite a bit like me...I could almost swear your last name >would be Nightweaver." MIKE: So, were there Nightweavers before this one that actually lived up to her name? CROW: Now I'm not the only one confused, eh? > Ryan smiled. TOM: "I'm pregnant." > "Why not? I kinda like it...'Ryan Nightweaver' has a >nice ring to it." CROW: Uh, no. > Sandra blinked, then smiled. TOM: [Crazy tone] "{Eglhlligckhhlllllll}" > "Alright. Ryan Nightweaver it is." MIKE: I dub thee. > Ryan leaned forward, towards Sandra. CROW: If they start tonsil boxing, I'm gonna scream. > "Well, anyway...I'm glad I'm >still here with you." > "And I am as well." > Both smiled. MIKE: United we smile! TOM: The power of two smiles! > > Packbell had teleported directly to the repair center. CROW: He's completely gutted and his telepoter works. MIKE: And is still conscious. BOTH: We're confused. > The damage was >near-critical. One more swipe would have finished him off. TOM: But we still need him for the sequels to this story. > Packbell now knew >what fear was, MIKE: Fear: noun. 1. A painful feeling of impending danger, evil, trouble, etc.; the feeling or condition of being afraid. 2. A specific instance of such feeling... > and that new feeling was mixed with an even mor intense hatred >towards the metamorph. > "I know your marking... ALL: Ew. > I'll find you...and kill you. You won't get >lucky much longer..." he thought. "I swear." CROW: "Like the shadow that's by your side, I'll be there." > >-THE END- [All leave] TOM: And he lived happily ever after. [SAFE...2...3...4...5...6...Klunk-Shunk] [Crow, Mike, and Tom respectively left to right] MIKE: So, what did we learn? [Crow opens his mouth to say something, and closes it after a second] TOM: I do not know that. MIKE: Well, I learned to smile as much as I can. TOM: Oh, in that case I learned you can base a story on a show and have none of its characters starring in it. MIKE: True, true. CROW: I learned that 'impact' is a verb. MIKE: It's true, you know. Look it up. TOM: Yeah, it turns out this story was very educational. CROW: Yeah, like evil robots crawl through your air ducts... MIKE: Well, no- TOM: And a laser the speed of light can take two minutes to hit you at twenty feet. MIKE: Actually- CROW: And if you shrink to three feet your clothes will still fit. TOM: And when you grow a tail, it can fit through your pants. CROW: And a purely evil android can scream bloody murder for the most particular reasons. TOM: And writing for your own ego can be publicly accepted... [Crow and Tom keep talking] MIKE: [Shrugging] Well, back to you, Mrs. F. [Mobius] [Rotor is at showing off his computer to Pearl] ROTOR: ...and U.S Robotics thinks their so great cuz of their 56 kps modem, but this puppy... PEARL: Just take me to, uh, www.acmelabs.com. BOBO: What's there? PEARL: I just made it up. How could a name like Acme Labs really- ROTOR: There. PEARL: Huh? ROTOR: You asked me to take you to- [Pearl shoves Rotor aside] ROTOR: WAUGH! [Crashes] PEARL: Yes! Yes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! BOBO: Ma'am? PEARL: Look at this! More Sonic fanfics than one could imagine! [SOL] [Quick zoom in on Mike's frightened face with over-dramatic music] [Mobius] PEARL: Yes! And I shall take the pleasure of showing you every one of them! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! SONIC: [Singing] We're gonna torture the robots. We're gonna torture the robots. PEARL: Prepare for your next dose of pain, Nelstupid. BOBO: Hey, could you punch up mst3kinfo.com? PEARL: I guess... [Fade out] OBSERVER: When can I have my brain back? --- HEAD WRITER: John Berry. CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Jen & Nicole Berry. "SPELL CHECKER": Nicole Berry. PROOF READERS: Shay Caron & Joe Nebus SPECIAL THANKS TO: Ryan Huber for being a really good sport. Joe Nebus and "FX Ferret" for inspiration E-Mail me at: berry@sugar-river.net See some similar work of mine at: members.aol.com/TheVid1987/STCParody.html Mystery Science Theater 3000 and characters ©1997 Best Brains Inc. Sonic the Hedgehog and other characters ©1997 of SEGA, DIC, and Archie Comics.