Tom: Take THAT, you banana-nosed-spider-duck! Crow: Shaddap, bubbledome! Mike: And to think this all started while watching MTV. Dr. Forrester: Greetings, Hamsters! M&TB: Hello Doctor Forrester..... Dr. F: I've decided to give you a GOOD story for once! Mike: Really? Dr. F: Yes! But I don't feel like giving it to you right now. Bots: Awwwwww............ Dr. F: Instead, you're getting the lamest Hedgehog Hognut EVER! It's short, but the pain inflicted should be immense. Crow: Another Sonic Crappie? Man! Tom: Dare I ask of the plot? Dr. F: No, but I'll tell you anyway. I think it's called "Saving Private Bob". It's about Bob and his exploding trailer. Now GET TO THE THEATER! ALL: CRAPFIC SIGN! >AUTHORS NOTICE > >Hey I thought that I would stop writing sonic fights robotnik Crow: I couldn't agree more. >and instead >just write stories Mike: I couldn't agree less. >because it would be dumb to have like sonic fights >robonik 52 ad nauseam and stuff. Tom: I could not a-naaahh........ >Here is how uncle bob All: Huh? >came back to >knothole this story was wreitten very fast so tis not as good as the >others probobobly. Tom: Is that a sign of the apocolypse? > >COPYRIGHT NOTCIE >Hey dude, sonic is copyrights of those dudes at archine. Mike: Um, no....... Crow: Fanboy! >Blah bklah, >other satuff is copyright of their owners. Mike: Um, no... >Got it? Mike: Um, no... Crow: Do you need to lie down, Mike? Mike: Um, no... >Ok, now get this, Mike: He seems to want me to keep saying "Um, no". >I do Tom: He does! Wow. >not mean to claim ownership of anything in this story. so ya ya ya now >lets read the story Crow: Let's not. >END COPYRIGHT NOTICE > >BEGIN STORY IN > >6...5...4...3...2....1 > >Uncle Bob Returns! Mike: And then leaves again! >By: SONIC FAN > >A cool short-story Crow: There's a sign of quality. > >Hello its knothole and today is tuesday lets see what the freedom >fighters are doing, hmmmmmm? Tom: What? > >SONIC HUT > Crow: Any relation to JABBA HUTT? >"YYAYYAHAHAHYAYAYY!!!!" went sonic as he played guitar and jammed and >jumped around spinning off wallls and running on the roof. Mike: This would be normal, if not for the fact the Sonic was actually a spray-painted blue coffee table. Crow: "Definately not typical behavior of household furnishings!" > >Tails walks in :"yo sonic dude" >SONIC says "AHEY! WHat up low-bro?" Crow: Why yes, this is quite low-brow. >Tails said"oh nothing ehwat u doing?" >"JAMMIN!" said Sonic >"oh COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!" said Tails Tom: Make it STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! >Tails plays the drunms its a rocking good! >JUST THEN ROTOR JUMPIN JACK FLASH THRU THE HUT! Mike: What? >"Woh woh" say sonic "yo rote" >Rotoro stops. Tom: The Adventures of Rotoro, the bulimic mexican walrus. > runs back "HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY SONIC!!" he yells in sonics >ear Crow: Binky the Clown and Rotor Walrus: One and the same? YOU DECIDE! >"yo hi" said sonic >"Whatever happened to uncle bob?" said Rotor >"He left" said Tails "In sonic fights robotnik 3" Mike: Uh...... >"I hate ken penders" said sonioc Tom: This is so WRONG! >The camerman says "hurry up and finish this scene" >"YO-K man!" sayed sonic Crow: It's a bird! It's a plane! It's YOK-Man! >"lets find uncle bobo" says TaILS! Tom: Professor Bobo and the uncanny little prodigy, TaIlS >"uncle boob?" says sonic Mike: I'm not going NEAR that one. Crow: I will! >"bobo?" rotor said "WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????" Tom: This is SO wrong. >"typo" says Tails >"OH!" say sonic and rotor >all 3 jump though a walll Tom: This is SO VERY WRONG! > >OUTSIDE >-__-__--_--_--_-_--_----__-__--_ > >:) > >AHHHHH!!! goes sonic they run into sally >"AK!" sas SallY! Mike: "Access Sally"? >"Ooop!" says rotor >"Yyayayyayaya" say tails "We go find uncle bob!" Crow: He Tarzan, me jane! No wait..... >"No yo bro" says Sallly Mike: That was outta character. Tom: Whassup, Homies? You wan' go on dat dere mis-say-own, well, no yo, bro! >"Youre not going, uncle bobs not going here" All: What? >"waaah" says tails All: What? >"no and the answere is no!" says sally >"waaaah sniff waaah" says tails All: WHAT? >"Well a'ight" says Sally "Just be coreful!" All: WHAAAAT? >"YO WE WILL SALLL" yells sonic >sonic yells into a megaphone "I LOVE U SAL LETS HAVE CYBERSEX!" Tom: After the story, PLEEZE! >"I hope i was being discreet" said sonic >(JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Mike: Um........ >"sal is cybersexy" says Rotor "oops i said that didnrt I?" Crow: Yes, you didnert. >"YES!" says sal "Go away before i have to kill you all" All: Please do. >"otay" says Tails >"YAAAHHHH BUH-WEET!" says SOnic >ZOOM ZOOM BAM BOOM! ran sonic Mike: He needs his carborator checked. > >_-__-_-_----_---__----____----_ > >A MILLION MILES AWAY >5 minutes later Tom: This is so WROOOOOONG! > >"Sonic stops" said sonic, stopping. Tom: See Sonic stop. Sonic sees Sonic stop. >"sonic stopped" says tails Mike: Tails sees Sonic stop. >"stopped sonic" said rotor >"hmm funy how a typo turns into humerous dialoge" saiys sonic Crow: Yes. Very foony. >I am typing fast" said SONIC FAN >just then bots attak. lots of bots!' >"ahhhh" sayd tails "focky!" >"No fock!" say sonic >"oh shet" says rotor Tom: Is it just me, or is this lame? >"ROOTOR!" say sonc in tails Tom: Roo-Tor? >A fight ensuses. Mike: And the peasants rejoice. >sonic spins bots THEY DIE! >rotor kicks bots THEY DIE >"Wie spak spak!" tails says, fighting bots as they die Crow: Yes, We spak spak. >END RESULT >Bot casulaties: 10000 sonic casulies: 0 >"cool" say sonic >"FOCKIN' A!" says Tails Tom: This kid has some issues to discuss. >they walk into secret baste Mike: Secret Pastry? > >-_-__---_------__-----_-__-___- > >SECRET BASE > >"Hello anyody home?" sayd SOnic >"i am scared" said tails >"BOOOOOOO WOOOOBOOOGIIIIEEE!!!" says rotor,m scaring tals Mike: Which is lots easier than L Scaring Tails. >"AHAHHAHAHHAHHHHH!!!" said tals "ROTOR SCARED ME!" Tom: If it's scary, why are you laughing? >"shaddap" says Sonic >They go thru the dark secret base, it is scary and dark. Crow: What complex dialogue. >shadow bot attacks! sonic fights it and wins! they move on Mike: There's an epic batle for you. >CREAK CREAK CREK >"Whats tha?" says SOnic Tom: A typo. What else? >"I hear steps" says Rotor >"hold on" says the camerman "i will turn on infared" >click >buzzz Mike: ding Tom: hack Crow: blat >"hey look its uncle bob!" says Tails >"Good Mornin' to ye!" says Bob >"YO BOB!: say sonic Mike: Yo-Bob: Close cousin to Shiska-Bob. >"Och, ye larden! wasup with ye?" says ob Crow: What? >"want to live at knothole?" says tails >"ok, my trailer blew up" said bob Tom: Yes. It ex-plo-ded and killed eve-ry-one. It caused a nuc-lear ex-plo-sion and de-stroyed a vil-lage of help-less chil-dren. >"how did you know his trailer blew up?" says Sonic Tom: Cause I was in it at the time, how else? >"I phoned him a few days ao" said tails Mike: So? >JUST THEN ROBOTNIK STEPS ONTO THE SCNEE!' Mike: What? >"Ha ha" says robotnik >"Lard o' chubbin'!" say bob Crow: Is that like Rice-o-Roni? >Heli-bots shoot thru the ceiling sonic trys to get awaya but can;t! Tom: Because he.....just....uh...can't! >roobntik captures the ff's >The are shoved into a hoverunit that transports them to robotniks TV >station in the dessert! Mike: Yum. > >DESRT Crow: What? > >Bwa bwa bwa...BWA .... hshstshshshthtssth > >ON TV... > >this is script format! Tom: Whoop-de-crap. > >(music plays) >ANNOUNCER: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO IT's THE ROBOTNIK SHOW! Mike: This is as amusing as watching my bony old grandma dancing to "Whoop, there it is". >(more music) >ANOUNCER: WITH DR. ROBOTNIK! >(wonky tunes) >ANOUNCER: WITH GUESTS SALMA HYEK and KEN PENDERS >ANOUNCER: MUSICAL GUEST KNUCKLES AND HIS REGGAE BAND! Crow: Um.......Yah. >(music) >ANNOUNCER: AND SNIVLEY AND THE SWAT BOT ORCHASTRA >ANNOUNCER: NOW HERE"s THE SULTAN OF SALTY SNAK FOODS...DOCOTR >ROBOTNIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mike: Decoder Robotnik? >(robotnik bounds in) Tom: Bounds? I expected him to bounce in, or roll in, or fall in, or crawl in, but BOUND? >ROBOTNIK: hi! >ROBOTOCIZED EWROKERS IN AUDIESNCE: YAAAHHHHHH CLAP CLAP!!!!Y >YAHAAYHAYHAHYh!! >wooOOoOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Robotnik: Now here'z snivley and swat bots! >(snivley, wearing sunglasses, plays the sax, the swat bots play other >instruments. they play the pee-wee herman song) Tom: How educational. >Robotnik: (sitiing in desk) doo doooDOOO! doo doo doo doo doo doo DOO >DOO! >First thing we do tonight is unthaw Dr. Quack Crow: UN-thaw? Wouldn't that mean to FREEZE him, not MELT him? >(grounder and scratch brings out frozen dr quack >Grounder: Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh >SCRATCH: HHEHEHEHHEhehHEHHEHHEH!!!!! >(they put dr. quack in big microwave) >ROBOTNIK: PLay that funky microwave music sniv man! >(band plays microwave sonG) >DING Mike: What extraordinary lyrics! >(dr quack is unthwaed he steps out) Crow: He steps out while Frozen? >QUACK: hey hey yo, what? >RObotniK: you not dead! >QUAK: Quak quak cool! Tom: Kill me now, Mike. >(but dr quack is somehow different) >(man walks on stage) >KEN: hell i'm ken penders Crow: Hell, you are! >ROBOTNIK: fock off >KEN: ok >(robotnik kicks ken off stage int othe audience) >AUDIENCE: HAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!! >ROBONTIK: Now lets brign out the HEDGEHOG AND FRIENDS! (robotnik throws >cuecard out the fake window) >*KRASH* >SOnic and friens are hustlesd Mike: And sold at a 7-11 >on stage by sWAT bots >ROOBOTNIK: HAHHAhahahha Whoi shall we roobotocize first >BOB: FOCK YE ROBOTNIK! Y'ER A BIG EEJIT! Tom: An "EEJIT"? >RoBOTNIK: hmm perhaps the scotsman >SNIVLEY: ya i need bagpipes >ROBOTNIK: ok get in the robocizer >(obob gets in) Mike: Obob.....yeaaaahhh........ >JUST THEN SONIC IS SPINNIN AROUND HES KILLIN BOTS LIKE THERES NO >TOMMOROW!!! Crow: There isn't, cuz it's GROUNDHOG DAY! >Sonic slam dunks a bot hea in the garbage can >SONIC: 50000000000000000000 points! >SONIC FREES TAILS >TAILS NINJA FIGHTS! Mike: Yeah, kill the ninja, Tails. >TAILS KIKCS DOWN THE ROBOTOCIZER UNCLE BOB IS FREE! Crow: But he's a robot already, so he kills tails. >KABOOOKMMKRAKAKAKKAKAKAKKAK POW! goes bobs shotgun! >BOB: I focking make short work of ye bots! >ROBOTNIK: ha ha i locked the doors you can't get out of here >QUACK: No, I ujuts UNLOCKED THE DOOR HA! Crow: What does this mean? Could this mean that....THE DOOR ISN'T LOCKED? >ROBOTNIK: No! you betreyt me! >QUACK: May i join u sonic >SONIC: ya dude >THEY FUGHTS KILLIN A MILLION BOTS THE WHOLE PLACE IS EXPLODING THE GOOD >GUYS RUN DOWN THE BASMENT ROBOTOCIZED WORKER BOTS ARE FLYIN THU THE AIR Tom: They went downstairs to happy town! >LOOK OUT TAILS!!! Tials gets in just in time they slam the door on a >flying bot! fwonk! >TAILS: SOmebody down here >BOB: yeh, aye am >TAILS: no that guy >(they see Rabbit Rabbot) Mike: Known foir his complex name. >RABBIT: Good afternoon to ye >SONIC: ITS bUNNIES LONG LOST DAD Crow: What a coincidence. >RABBIT: I WAS IN JAIL, here, mmm-hmmm Tom: Ho-Hum. >SONIC: we saved you lets juicin jam! >SONIC Pulls out a powr ring >RABBIT: Some folks call it a power ring, i call it a potater, mmm-hmm Mike: We know where Bunnie gets her incredible brainpower. >They rush teh door! bot killing ACTION! zoom fwahs kqaboom! >Uncle Bob riverdances on stage with some bots Crow: NOOOOOOO!!! >ROBOTNIK: NO NO NO!!!! >They run out of the building and divei nto the sand >JUST THEN THE BUILDING EXPLODES >FWAP BAP BOO-BAP SHADDA LADDIA SHIBBI BIBBI HOOOOOOOOO-AAAAHHHHH! >RABBIT: hot dam Tom: It gets so hot that it melts, flooding the planet. >they run back to knothole >ROBOTNIK: No nO NOOOOooO! They beat me again! WAAAAHHH!! THIS SUCKS! >(knuckles shows up) >KNUCKLES: Hey mon, is it time for our act >ROBOTNIK: all the cameras are dead, except for that one >"Hey" says our cameraman >Knucles and the chaotix band set up >(band plays music) >KNUCKLES: oooh yeah, we're jammin' Mike: and hammin' and spammin'! >robotnik dances > >BACK AT KNOTHOLE >_-_-__--__-___-_-__-__-----__-_--___-- > >SONIC RUNS RIGHT INTO DULCY >DUlcy " budda don't wann do HOMEWORK??!?!?!" Tom: No. Buddha has NO homework. >the others run into antoinne >"le oof" says antoinee Mike: Ant-weenee? >Sally shows up >"AAHHHH WHATS DR QUACK DOING HERE???" SCEMred sallly >"Hes a good guy now" said Sonic >"Quack yes" said Dr. Quack >"Ok Dr Quack and Uncle Bob you have to pass the interview before you can >become freedom fighters. I wil ask you the secret questions. Anything >that happens inside that hut does not leave the confines of that hut, >ok?" Crow: Oh, GROSS!!!!!! >"Aye" said bob >"QUAK-OK!" said Dr. Quack Tom: Quack-Awk? >They go to sallys hut Crow: How much do they have to pay Sally for this? Mike: CROW!!! >"DADY!" says Bunnie >"Hello ye daughter of mine" sais Rabbit Rabbot >(emotional scene) Tom: Oh, sick! Is that Legal!!!!! >The camraman gets bored and falls asleep >"HEY WAKE UP!" says sonic >"WHa" says cameramna" oh" >bow-bow-chick-womp-bow-wukka-chiak-chjika Crow: Funky! >Tails" I am getting funk to this disco beat >Sally walks out of the hut followed by unc. bob. and quak. >Sally:" ahhh... they are freedom fighters now~!!!!!!!!" Mike: Oh, GEEZ! >"yaaaaay!!!!!!" say knotholes inhabitents! >PARTY TIME >"TIme to test my new invention": says rotor >ROTOr test the catapult SONIC TAILS ROTOR UNCLE BOB AND DR QUACK ARE >THROW A BILLION FEET INT THE AIR Mike: And die. > >-_---__---_---_---- > >SONICS HUT Crow: Jabba? > >JUST THEN SONIC, TAILS, DR QUACK, ROTOR,,,, AND UNCLES BOB falls THROUGH >THE ROOF OF THE HUT! Crow: Jabba has a roof? > >"WobbbA!" said SOnic Tom: He's just survived a deadly fall without a chute, and all he can say is "Wobba"? > > >AND THATS TEH JUICY JAMMIN EWND OF OUR TALE. All: What? >YO ARCHIE FEEL FRE TO MAKE >THIS INTO A COMIC BOOK, >JUST EMAIL ME AT soniciscool@yahoo.com YOU CAN >HAVE THE STORY FOR FREE IF U WANT. Mike: No thanks. > > > >"fini" said Antoine >"AH zed FININ! YOU LEAVE NOW! LEEEEVEEEVEEEEE!!! ZEEE All: Beware the french weenie-fox! Dr. F: Well! His spirit should be a piece of petrified dung by now! Let's see! Crow: Look, Sonike! It's Tim Snarvo, Tom's long-lost Father! Mike/Sonike: Why, so it is! Tom/Tim/Crappy plot contrivance: Yep, that's me! Crow/Croils: Wow! Hey, let's use our suddenly appearing Ninja skills to steal some Sno-Cones! Dr. F: AAAARRGGG!Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap!!!!!!!! The End MST3K is Best Brains, Inc "The Return Of Uncle Bob" is SonicFan This isn't really an insult to the fanfic's author, tho I can't honestly say it was a good story anyway. ____ __ __ MiST by | __| \ \ / / | |_ \ \ / / | _| / /\ \ |__| /__/ \__\ -The Man with the Crappy Sig Stinger:YO ARCHIE FEEL FRE TO MAKE THIS INTO A COMIC BOOK