<--UM..WELL...LEMME GET MY NOTES..OH, RIGHT..GET YOUR WINDOW SIZED NOW!--> [SOL. Mike is still reading his book. Suddenly, Crow jumps out of nowhere, but instead of a net for a head, his head and beak have turned into scissors.] Josh: AAAH! IT'S TIMMY! Mike: AAAAAAAH! Crow: Really, guys, stop it. Mike: Fine...yeesh..are we getting too repetitive? Crow: No..but..stop it. I'm portraying a snip! Servo: Crow..that's not what a snip is! Crow: No..THIS IS! *snips his teeth at Servo* Servo: AAAAH! HE'S ATTACKING ME! Mike: AAAAAAAAH! Crow: Here we go again.. [Mike runs offscreen. And then he returns with a sledgehammer.] Crow: OH GOOD LORD! OW! OW! AAAAUGH! *falls to the ground* Josh: Let's check on the mads. [Anime High School. Bobo is dragging Observer around.] Bobo: I love sightseeing! Hoo hoo hoo! Observer: Help me, Mike! He's driving me insane with his tours! [SOL.] Mike: I wish I could, Observer. Well, lemme see what the Nanites can do about this.. [Crow walks onscreen.] Crow: Hey guys. Mike: Hey, Crow. [Crow looks at the Crow on the floor.] Crow: Hmm..I hate my clones.. [Anime High School.] Serena: Are you lost, sir? And who's the gorilla? Bobo: It's APE! Serena: Sorry. Now, answer my...he *talks*? Observer: Unfortunately, yes. Serena["!" pops up]: COOL! Can I walk him around the school? Observer(grateful): Oh, please do.. Bobo: I walk for no man. Serena: Person. Bobo: Person. Observer: You're walking for me. Bobo: Well you're a nobody! Serena: Hey! You're evil aren't you? Observer: Well..I must admit I am a tad.. Bobo: Me? No ho ho ho! Serena: I wasn't talking to you, Brain Jar. I was talking to the ape. Bobo: And I just said "No ho ho ho!" Serena: Are you mocking my intelligence?! Bobo: Well..I.. Serena: Sailor Scouts! Let's get to work! [Luna wanders in and faints.] Serena: EEEEEEEEEK! What have you done to her! [Serena rushes to Luna.] Serena: You..ripped her poor little leg off. Luna: Actually, it was.. Serena: You'll pay! SCOUTS! Come on already! Bobo: I believe you are quite mistaken.. [Reeny pops in.] Reeny: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bobo: Then again, I don't have much to fear. Reeny: RAAAA! [Reeny dives on Bobo and starts wakking him with her floating cat thing.] Bobo: OW! OW! HOO! OWIE! STOP! Observer: Heh heh.. [Reeny pulls out a gun and aims it at Observer.] Observer: Um..then again.. Bobo: The pain..stopped? [Reeny turns the gravity off in the room.] Serena: Oh..not again.. [Everyone starts floating around.] Observer: My brain! Aah! Bobo: Hoo! I kind of like this! [A-ko zooms through the air, still able to run unlike anyone else.] A-ko: I'm late I'm late I'm late I'm late I'm late.. [Reeny starts hitting Bobo again.] Bobo: OW! OW! OWIE! OWIEOUCH! A-ko: Latelatelatelatelatelatelatelate Serena: SCOUTS! SCOUTS! SCOUTS! COME ON! SCOUTS! SCOUTS! Reeny: RAA! RAA! RAA! Observer: My brain! Help me get it! He- *KAABOOOOOOOOOOOOM* [SOL.] Mike: Oops. Josh: Does he..do this a lot? Crow: Yeah..be glad the Nanites only blown up half of the school instead of all of Earth.. Servo: Actually, this isn't bad anymore..every month, I get to see some spiffy special effects. Mike: So..what next? *Klaxxons* All: SAILOR MOON SIGN! 6 5 4 3 2 1 Mike: Hey guys, IS there a pattern to these fanfics? Crow: Not really.. > A Change of Heart.. Servo: But what if I only want change for a dollar? > Chapter 1: A turn for the worst. Crow: Oops, read that wrong. A turn to the LIVERworst. > Serena slowly walked into her house and made her way up to her >room. After dropping her school bag, she sat on her bed, " They hate >me, Luna, they all do...." She whispered. Mike: You got that right! >The black cat looked up at the blond girl. Crow: Maybe it's because you're stupid! > " They don't hate you, Serena, they're just angry, and I understand >why...." Answered Luna, licking her paw. Serena hung her head. Josh: It's because I'm Japanese, isn't it? > " Yes they do, they hate me. It's not fair, why do I have to be >like this?" she asked, looking in her mirror. Mike: Milk doesn't do anime characters' bodies good. > " I don't know, someone had to be the lazy, donut snorting, scatter >brained, doofusy couch potato, and you must have applied for the job. Servo: Since there isn't an anime Garfield out there. >Did I mention that you don't do your homework..." Luna said, trying to >fit every detail. Crow: Anime high schools give homework? I thought all they did was teach simple elementary skills and let the students fart around during the weekend. > " I get the point! But still, THEY ALL HATE ME!!!!" she cried, >thinking back to earlier... Josh: Simpler times..when Robotech was the only real competition.. > Serena was skipping into Raye's temple for a meeting. Mike: I think I'll skip by my other friend's castle later.. >As she came in the girls all just looked at her and went on with their >talk. Crow: Sorry, we don't talk to dumb squareheads anymore..waitaminute. >Serena plopped on Raye's bed and began reading a Sailor V comic. > " So, how do we get Reeny home? I mean, we know she's from the >future and all, but how did she get here? How do we get her back?" Amy >asked. Mike: There's no airplane flights to the future until next month! > " Hey, remember that day when she made us all float and stuff in >that market on the day of that big thunderstorm? She used that little >key of hers to get us down. Maybe that has something to do with it..." Josh: We're dumb anime blondes, we can only remember what happened up to 15 minutes ago. >Lita said, thinking. Mike: Lita, your head is on fire! > " Maybe, but we can't be sure. We can't be sure of anything now. >This is all to confusing..." Luna inquired. Crow: But we're just dumb squareheads, so what WOULD we be sure of? > " Yeah, but maybe if we can get her to tell us more about herself >then we could figure it out." Mina said. Servo: Look at her AOL profile. > " Naw, she won't let anything slip. She must have some discipline, >I wonder who her parents are..." Raye said, " She probably won't tell >anyone she doesn't like, and we're not the people she's chosen as >friends - - Hey! Wait a second! She really seems to like Darien, maybe >she told him something... We should ask him tomorrow." Josh[One of the Scouts]: Slow down! I haven't written this all down yet! > " Good idea!" everyone agreed, " What do you think, Serena?" Mina >looked back at Serena. Suddenly, Serena burst out laughing, startling >everyone. Mike[Serena]: This fanfic suddenly strikes me as amusing! > " Hey guys! Look at this! Sailor V just nailed this guy! He was so >stupid!" she laughed. Everyone's faces turned red. Crow: Who slipped barbeque sauce in our meals? > " Serena! Get with the program, you always do this at meetings!!" Mike: You know, always using common sense and staying out of them.. >shouted Lita, angrily. Serena looked startled. Josh: Hold on, my brain's still trying to comprehend what you're saying! > " Yeah, Serena, whenever we talk about important things you have to >go and do something stupid like this! Well, we're not filling you in on >anything!" Mina yelled. Crow: Doesn't matter, I look over your shoulder during the test anyway. > " I'll say, you snooze you loose, to bad you couldn't have learned >that sooner, huh?" Amy said, crossing her arms. Serena was just still >staring, she couldn't believe what they were saying. > " Get it together, Serena! You can't go around with your stupid >Sailor V comics and never listen to anything, Meat Ball Brain!" Servo[Italian Guy]: Mamamia, that'sa spicy meata ball brain! >cried Raye. Mike: A raye of hope to all those in need. > " Hey, Raye, Sailor V isn't THAT bad...." Mina inquired, her face >red. Then, Raye stood up and glared at Serena. Crow: You're just a meatball-head. Come back when it's square! > " Serena, this is the fifth Scout meeting you've been late for this >week! You're always late, you never participate in our training, and >you sit on the ground and wail during battles! You're not the Champion >of Love and Justice, no, you're the champion of Stupidity and >Lazyness!" her eyes were on fire, Mike: Finally, the director of the show reads peoples' flame mails! >" AND I'M TIRED OF PUTTING UP WITH IT!! GET OUT!" Crow: You have a double-digit IQ and I won't have that! >She pointed at the door, seriously. Servo: But, uh, seriously folks, she pointed at the door...huh huh.. >Serena stared for a moment, looking at each of the >others for help, yet getting none. She felt tears in her eyes. With a >look of failure and sorrow on her face she picked up her bag and comic >and left with Luna at her heels. Josh: Wait, can someone give me a ride home? Well..I guess they won't *now*.. > Serena laid down on her bed and began to cry, quietly, " I wish I >was more responsible. I wish I was really the best worrier!" she cried. Crow: Too late, Chuckie accomplished this in Rugrats. >Suddenly, a light flashed out of Serena. As it cleared, everything >seemed normal again. Luna was staring, scared. Mike: AUGH! Oh..wait..something similar to this happens EVERY episode. > " Serena?!" she asked. Serena was just laying under the covers, >sleeping as if nothing had happened. Luna sighed and laid down too. Crow: Maybe this whole fanfic's just a dream, and when I wake up, life will be peaceful again.. > Serena's alarm clock went off in the morning. Luna's head perked >up, " Oh, the alarm, I over slept!" she said, jumping up. She suddenly >noticed that Serena was gone and the bed was made, " Huh?" Luna asked, >" Where is she?" Mike: If I had four legs, I could call out an APB.. > Serena was at school. Josh: And just in time for Story Hour! >She was the first one in her classroom, reading a book. The book was on >social economics. She was really wrapped up in her book when the bell >rang. Crow: She's probably just looking at the pictures.. >When students began to enter the room, they gasped at this sight. Serena? >Here? Studying?! Mike: It's only the SAT, Serena, lighten up! >Their eyes never left her as they sat down, but she didn't notice. When >Ms. Haruna entered she was smiling brightly, " Good morning class, we'll >only spend five more minutes waiting for Sere..." suddenly her eyes >caught Serena. She couldn't speak. Suddenly, Molly snuck into the room >and slipped into her desk. Crow: Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann, Noone's cooler than Pepper Ann.. > " Least I'm not as late as...." He eyes caught Serena too. She >leaned forward and read the cover of the book, " Social Economics?!" >she said, not believing it. Servo: That's unbelievable! Um..Serena, what's Social Economics? > " Uh, er, Serena?" Serena looked up from her book at her teacher, " >Um, we're starting class now, please, um, put the book away..." Ms. >Haruna said, smiling, < I never though I'd have to say that to her..> Mike: At least not until she reads Playgirl. >she thought, " Now, please hand in your homework.... Class." Her eyes >shot to Serena, who was already holding out her papers. She walked >along, taking the papers from everyone. She stopped, took Serena's, and >looked at them. She couldn't believe it, Serena could spell!! And these >were some of the best answers she had ever gotten.... Crow: They weren't correct, but that's besides the point. >She gave Serena a very strange glance and walked back to the chalkboard. Servo: You're still getting an F though, because you're a squarehead! > At lunch, Serena sat behind a bush, unlike where she normally sat, Mike: ..behind *George* Bush. >under the cherry blossom tree with her friends. Amy, Lita, and Molly >were all under the tree, watching her. Crow: The Anime Center for Law and Justice is gonna sue her for acting her shoe size..I wish *we* could. > " I can't believe it... she hates sitting by herself..." Amy said, >taking a drink of orange juice, "Maybe what we said yesterday was a >little too mean.." > " I think so too, but I made her some muffins to try and make up >for it." Lita said, staring at the ten muffins. Mike: They're drugged, but again, that's besides the point. > " You won't believe this, guys, Serena was the first one in class >today, she was reading a social economics book AND had her homework >finished!" Molly said, taking a big bight of a chocolate chip cookie. Crow: What's a bight? Is that more than a pinch or less than a tad? >Lita and Amy looked at her with blank faces. Josh: The animator wasn't done with this frame, apparently. > " You have got to be kidding - - - - - - Serena? Reading anything >but a comic book?" asked Lita, not believing this. > " She was the first one in class? And she finished her homework? >Wow...." Amy said, thinking, Mike: Why must everyone repeat what others have said earlier? >" I don't know what's wrong." Crow: She must be taking American class..wait..that's the name for it isn't it? I'm just a stupid squarehead, I wouldn't know for sure. > " I guess I'll give her my muffins now." Lita stood up and walked >over to Serena, " Here Serena, I made you these." She held out the box >to Serena. Josh: This isn't bribery is it? I'm still eating them; I just want to know. > " No thank you, Lita, I'm really full and I have to get back to >class to study, bye." She just stood up and walked off. Lita was >staring. Then, Amy and Molly came up, " She didn't want them.." Lita >said. Crow: And then I stared for the 23rd time this episode. > " What happened to her?" asked Amy, " I really hope she's not still >sad about the other night, I feel terrible. She looked so sad..." Amy >said. > " I don't know..." Molly whispered. Josh: Does anyone know? That's basically the sum of what everyone's asking. > That evening, Serena was walking back home. She was coming up to >her house when she saw Darien. Darien glanced at her. Serena only >closed her eyes as if she didn't notice him, " I don't care about him." Crow: Just pretend he's American and he'll disappear.. >She whispered. She walked into her house and set down her things. She >didn't have any homework, having finished it at school. Servo: She listened to Wayne Campbell's advice.. > " What are you ganna do, Serena? Go play video games?" asked Sammy, >walking in. Serena looked at him with a disgusted face. > " Video games? Are you crazy? Those things are just stupid and have >cheap graphics." Serena said, walking up to her room. Crow: I'm gonna play with my Barbie dolls instead. > " Huh?" Sammy watched her, " What's up with her? She's never said >that before..." he just shrugged and walked outside. > Serena was now up stairs, reading. Suddenly, she sat up, dropping >the book, " I've got a strange feeling..." she whispered, " It must be >the Negaverse!" she took off her brooch, " Moon, Crystal, Power!" she >cried. After transforming, she jumped out the window and began to run. Mike: Um..and HOW do the common people NOT know their identity? Crow: I know! They look exactly the same! >She soon found the source. She saw a monster attacking Reeny, " Hey, >you! Leave her alone!" the monster looked over at her, " I am Sailor >Moon! The Champion of love and justice! Josh: And the American..no wait.. >In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!" she cried, standing in her >pose. Servo: You're going to get such a spanking when we get home! >The monster shot at her with this electric rope. Crow: Yeah, it was, like, this electric rope, and like, it had this rope-like thickness and stuff.. >Sailor Moon jumped up and out of the way. Reeny ran away. The monster >shot another at her. Sailor Moon dropped to the ground and rolled out of >the way, " I'm not so easy to get rid of!" Mike: It'll take 3 of those to stop me..oh wait..just gave it away. >she yelled. > " Oh yeah? Check this out!" the monster ran at her, with an >electrical energy surrounding her. Luna walked up and saw Sailor Moon >fighting. She ran off to call the others. Sailor Moon jumped out of the >way. Crow: Uh, you guys finish without me, k? > " Nice try, my turn!" she jumped into the air and landed a kick on >the monster, " Haha! Now I finish you!" she took out her scepter just >as the other Scouts began to arrive, " Moon, Scepter, Elimination!" the >monster screamed as it disappeared, " Moon dusted!" Servo: Why didn't she do that at the beginning? Mike: To make the fanfic more painful for us.. > " Sailor Moon.." she turned and saw the Sailor Scouts, " Why didn't >you call us to come help you?" asked Sailor Mars. Sailor Moon put her >hand on her hip. Josh: Hey, Armstrong didn't need help when he scaled me, yet the US can't send astronauts to YOU! > " No reason. It's just I didn't need your help. I'm totally capable >of doing this job on my own, now run along." She shooed them away. Crow: Go play some squarehead games. > " Where do you get off telling us this stuff? We're a team, >remember?" asked Sailor Venus. Sailor Moon just closed her eyes. Mike: And in a team, everyone fights for themselves..wait.. > " Hey, I'm the leader. If I don't need you, I don't need you." She >said, seriously, " So just go!" she pointed down the street. Crow: But our house is down that way! Mike: I DON'T CARE! > " Sailor Moon, we have to fight as one, or have you forgotten! You >just want to take all the glory for yourself!" Mars said. Josh: Planets speak? > " I am one. And I don't want to take any glory! Do you see any >reporters or such things around her or such things? No! I'm only here >to defend the innocent!" Sailor Moon. Crow: This sounds like a CasaDeJoey argument. > " Sailor Moon, you can't do this by yourself, and you know it!" >Sailor Jupiter yelled, " We are the Sailor Scouts. Not just the Sailor >Scout!" Sailor Moon got in a battle position. Servo: Although when a big scary monster appears, it DOES become just the Sailor Scout. > " You don't think I can do it by myself, huh? I'll prove it! I'll >take you all on!" she cried, holding her scepter at them. Jupiter, >Mercury, and Venus just stared. Josh: Who's counting the stares? Mike: So far, 36. > " Fine!" Sailor Mars got in position to do her fire. Suddenly, a >rose slashed between them. Everyone looked up at Tuxedo Mask. Crow: (sarcasm) Gee, I wonder who *he* is? > " Sailor Scouts, don't forget that your greatest strength is your >friendship! Don't loose it!" he shouted. Sailor Moon looked up at him, >angrily. Mike: It's the human fortune cookie! > " Get out of here! What do you know about friendship!? You just >left me on the spot, leaving me clueless! Just go away! I don't need >you!" she shook her fist at Tuxedo Mask. Then, she looked at the Sailor >Scouts, " And you, I was never good enough for you, was I? No. So you >yelled at me and scolded me! Are you happy now?! I am the champion I am >said to be! I can do this all by myself! I don't need you! Any of you!" Crow: Go find yourselves a NEW squarehead friend! >she turned and ran. The Sailor Scouts and Tuxedo Mask just watched. And >Reeny, unknown to everyone, watched from the bushes. Mike: This'll be good for blackmail.. [Everyone leaves the theaters.] 1 2 3 4 5 6 [SOL. Everyone's dressed in Sailor outfits.] Mike: WAAAAAAAA! [Crow and Servo stare at Mike.] Servo: Sailor Bland! What's wrong? [The Snip Crow gets up.] Snipcrow: Ow..Mike..come on..wh- Mike: WAAAAAAAA! Snipcrow: AAAAAAAAH! SAILOR SCOUTS! AAAAAAH! [runs off-screen.] Mike: I feel dejavu approaching.. Josh: Sailor Gumball, get into battle position! [Servo stares at Josh. Snipcrow comes back with a burning log and starts wacking Mike and Servo.] Snipcrow: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Mike: OW! Help, Sailor Fanfic! Josh: I can't..I'm being held in..this forcefield! Snipcrow: Shut up, chicken, you're just making it up! Josh: No..I'm not..I am powerless..to stop..you.. Snipcrow: Oh brother. Crow: Sailor Bland, do your..special effects thing! [Mike stares at Crow.] Mike: Oh, yeah, Sailor Bird! BLAND, ELIMINATOR, ATTACK! [Mike suddenly pulls out the book he's been reading and starts to read.] Snipcrow: NOOO! NOT THAT! NOOO!....noooo......no...n....o... [There is a poof, and Snipcrow is gone.] Josh: Yay! WE saved the day! Crow: Another enemy vanquished, thanks to US. Mike: TEAMWORK is the key! We'll be right back, viewer-san. Crow: Mike, is this A-cup too unbelievable? Mike: No, actually, it's not big enough to be proportional to your body.. [Mike begins to fix Crow.] *Planet spins*