<-------MUST I REMIND YOU THAT YOUR WINDOW MUST BE THIS BIG?!-------------> [Everyone reenters the theaters..] Crow: Watch your step, Sailor Bland..hehe.. Servo: This is sorta fun..it's spontaneous..random.. Mike: Well, actually, every 2 stories have a theme.. Servo: They do? Mike: Well, the first 2 were Sega game fanfics..and these 2 are SM fics. Crow: Oh, great. >Juggernaut Productions Presents Mike: X-Men in Television Productions! >A Blackwood Studios Creation > >Sailor Journeyman Servo: At least it's not Sailor Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. >Created By: Jason Holland Mike: If he's named after his country, I think we can pull through. > Based on Characters Created By: Josh: P-Funk! >Naoko Takeuchi > >and > Servo: Um..I know the other guy..hold on, I'm serious! Uh..oh yeah! >Presto Studios Mike: And Abracadabra Incorporated! >(Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and The Journeyman Project are owned and >copyrighted Crow: Sucks, doesn't it? >by the above respectivly and are not intended to be used for financial >gains. Servo: And with that, let me start by saying that I'm only 13 and rolling in cash.. >Please don’t sue me for I have NOTHING) [Josh drops the phone.] Josh: Ooops. >Episode 01 > >“Scouts, Rips, and Arthur” Mike: Arthur the Aardvark? >(fade in) > >(Est. shot: TSA Headquarters ext. Caption reads:) Crow: "Caption for sale. Dial 1-800-BITE ME." >Somewhere in the Appilachans >Time: November 5, 2328 A.D. Servo: Mike, what are Appilachans? Mike: I think he means that mountain system in the US. Crow: An appil a day keeps the A-Chans away! >(Dissolve to Administrations room where 3 people are present. Commisioner >Jack Baldwin, Head Time Engineer William Daughton, and Agent 5 Gage >Blackwood. All are discussing maters that are vital to the TSA. Such as:) Crow: Who's bringing the pretzels? Ok, William. Check. >Baldwin: Tomorrow will be my 15th year as TSA Commisioner and, frankly, Servo: Temp jobs SUCK! Mike: Watch it.. >the old body’s not what it used to be. (chuckles) This is why I have >brought both of you here today. Josh: To wed you in holy matrimo..oh wait, wrong message. >I have decided to retire the day after tomorrow. All: YAY! >Gage:(shocked) But sir, why now? We don’t have a successor for the >position chosen yet. Mike: And this is related to Sailor Moon in WHAT way? >Baldwin: That is where you are wrong Gage, or should I say, Commisioner >Blackwood. > >William:(pleasantly surprised) Congrats Gage! Crow: *Phew!* He gets the job and I'm off the hook! WOOHOO! >(Gage is shocked and surprised beyond human comprehension.) > >Gage: What? Why? Josh: Don't ask me. It's just a crossover fic. >Baldwin: Well, you have proven time and again that you are one of the >greatest agents the TSA have to offer. You are perfect for the job! Mike: Besides, noone else wants to do it! >Gage: But with my wedding in a couple months, I don’t think I can find the >time. Crow: Tell Richard you'll do it later! >Baldwin: Nonsense! You have the talent and the drive and the intellect to >ensure of the TSA’s prosperity and vigilance. Servo: (whispering) Please let him take the job, please, oh please.. >(Baldwin moves to stand near the door) Daughton, make sure that the >compound is working up to par. Mike: No bogeys for *this* golf club! >A couple of very important people are going to attend the 10 year >aniversarry of Earth’s induction into the Symbiotry. Crow: So it's more like Sailor Spawn or Sailor Venom..I don't see Sailor Journeyman.. >William: Who, Commisioner Baldwin? Mike: No! Me, dammit! >Baldwin:(smirking) The rulers of Crystal Tokyo: King Endymion and Queen >Serenity. (fade out) Crow: But enough of that, time for your crappy Sailor Moon fanfic! >(Title Sequence) >(open on a shot of the Earth and as the narator speaks the zoom gets >tighter untill we end with a shot of Gage in his Chameleon Jumpsuit sans >helmet) Servo: Hey, stop zooming! AAAAH! *CRASH* >Narrator: In the year 2328, mankind is at it’s apex of self-discovery. An >alliance of benevolent alien races that have accepted Earth as one of >their own, a discovery of a race long extinct, and the invention of the >time machine will come together into the biggest adventure of all. Mike: But that'll have to wait until after the crappy Sailor Moon fanfic. Moving on.. >One man is the key. He is Gage Blackwood. He is more than he thinks. Josh: And thinking is half the battle! >Sailor Journeyman > >(A mixture of the Sailor Moon and Journeyman Project themes begin) Crow(sarcasm): NO! Really? >Starring: > >JM Cast >Jerry Rector as Gage Blackwood/Agent 5 Servo: Jerry Rectum? Mike: Gage Threepwood? >Michele Scarabelli as Michelle Visard/ Agent 3 Crow: AND LISA MERCATOR AS THE HOPPING WOMAN! > David Fenner as William Daughton > Daniel Mann as Jack Baldwin >Matt Weinhold as Arthur Farnstien Josh: David Spade as Sailor Moon! Crow: Leonardo DiCaprio as Sailor Pen-er..VENis.. Servo: And of course.. >SM Cast All: D'OH! Crow: Should've waited a second for that line to pass first. >Terri Hawkes as Serena Tsukino/ Sailor Moon >Karen Bernstein as Amy Anderson/ Sailor Mercury(1992) >Katie Griffin as Raye Hino/ Sailor Mars >Susan Roman as Lita Sinclair/ Sailor Jupiter Mike: Hey! The author's good buddy Roman is in this one! >Stephanie Morgenstern as Mina St. Sophia/ Sailor Venus >Toby Proctor as Darien Chiba/ Tuxedo Mask Servo[sings Coocaracha]: His name is Chiba, Ariba riba, and he calls girls meatball-heads.. >Special Guests >Greg Uhler as Mark Johnson of INN Mike: Chris Farley as Garth Brooks of TNN! >James Woods as Greg Urawa(2328) Crow: Wow, there's a lot of Greg Urawas out there. >Elizabeth Hurley as Amy Urawa (2328) > >Based on Characters Created By: Josh: We read this already, didn't we? >Naoko Takeuchi(Sailor Moon) Crow: I'd like to see her Sailor Moon, I'll tell you that much.. >Red Orb Entertainment and Presto Studios(The Journeyman Project) > >--------------------------------------------------------------------------->--- >------------------- Mike: Before we begin, I'd like to showcase my 7-year old son's ASCII art. >(fade in) > >(Futuristic building in bio-dome. Dissolve to a big white building) >(Caption reads:) Servo: "The Big White Building in the Bio-Dome" >St. Diana Spencer Memorial Hospital >Location: Europa. Moon of Jupiter >Time: November 6, 2328 Mike: That's the date, brickhead! >(Dissolve to a bio-bed with a young woman inside) Crow: Can I have some bio-dinner? Turn on the bio-TV for me, will ya? >Intensive Care Ward > >(Zoom in to see a young man standing beside the bed holding the woman’s >hand gently) Servo[Man]: Don't worry, they're just 4th degree burns, hun. >Man: Hang on! The Med-Techs have almost cracked the code of the virus. Crow: They're too lazy to get McAfee's crap! >Woman’s Voice:(weak) I cannot hold much longer. My time is nearly up. >(zoom in on the woman’s face. It is a combonation of beauty and tragedy. Josh: And comedy and action. >A head of short black hair with bright blue highlights, giving her hair a >near total blueness, contrasts her pale face) > >Woman: Greg, I just wish that I could see Gage one last time and thank >him. [Mike starts to sing some Alanis Morisette...] Crow: AAAUGH! >Greg:(puzzled) For what, Amy? Mike: We fought together in the Vietnam War.. >Amy: >For.....for......the.......ad.....adven...........adventures.............. Crow: Just spit it out already! You're on your deathbed as it is! >(As Amy leans back, her last breath escapes as a sigh and her eyes slowly >close forever) Mike[Dr. F]: No..I'm alive..no....I'm....dead. Wait..I'm still alive.. Crow: Red Zone Cuba..what a classic..what a classic nightmare. >(The ECG, which had been recording Amy’s heartbeat, now made the long, >high-pitched whine that everyone knew meant that she had passed on.) Josh: I thought it just meant that it was time to cover your ears.. Crow: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! >Greg:(voice quivering) Amy? Amy? Don’t do this Amy! Mike: Stop being dead! Come back to life! I order you! >(Greg, obviously crying, moves closer to Amy. Greg lifts up his head not >speaking for a moment) > >Greg:(screams) AAAAAAMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Crow: Yeesh, must've been a pretty short moment. >(The scream reverberates throughout the complex. Along with the crying >afterwards) Servo: Ebert's crying over Siskel.. Crow: They would have a blast reviewing this fanfic, wouldn't they? Mike[Ebert]: I HATED IT! It was awful uninspired trash! Josh[Siskel]: I see it as an inspiration to us, the viewer, to write our own screenplay. Thumbs up. Crow[Newspaper Guy]: Two...stars...gotcha. >(fade out) >--------------------------------------------------------------------------->--- >------------------ Mike: Nice ASCII ray-gun. >(fade in) Servo: Is there supposed to be a commercial break somewhere? >TSA Headquarters Viewing Room >5 Hours Later > >(zoom in on Gage looking at some vid. His body blocks our view.) Mike: Out of the way, moron! Crow: Sit your fat ass down, Richard Simmons! >(Enter Arthur Farnstien, He looks like a young blond man in his early >20’s. He is, in acuallity, an Artificial Intelegence with no actual body. Servo: Well, better artificial than not there at all.. >He is borrowing Gage’s Jumpsuit when he [Gage] is not using it) Crow: Again, DUHHHH..who else would use it? >Arthur: Hey Gage! Mike: Arthur, go become a children's book series! >(Gage jumps half a foot into the air) Servo: NO! Catch him! I'll get the trampoline! >Gage: Arthur! Don’t scare me like that! > >Arthur:(apologetic) Sorry. (brightens) Hey! Heard the news, Mr. >Commisioner of the TSA! Crow: Has Adam West called in yet, Gordon? >Gage:(blushing) Well, it’s not till tomorrow. > >(Arthur sees Gage enraptured in something. Arthur, naturally, is curious) Mike: Sir, look out! Somethings enrapturing you, whatever that means! >Arthur: Wat’cha watching, Gage? Crow: Oh, just checkin' out Mr. Bean. >Gage:(nervously) Nothing, Arthur. Just some archival footage. Josh: Yeah, that's the ticket! >Arthur: Aw, come on! Lemme see! > >Gage: No! Crow: And the Sailor Moon stupidity starts to sink in! >Arthur:(pleading) We’re buds! Let your bud see what’s on! PUH-LEEEEEZE? > >(William enters during this back-and-forth and decides to make himself >known) Mike[William]: Um..I'll decide this. I win. Ha. Ha. Ha. >William:(To Arthur) It’s nothing. Just Gage’s Sailor Moon vids > >(Arthur tries to supress a chuckle) > >Gage:(upset) Will! > >William:(matter-of-factly) Well, it *is*. Crow: As a matter of factly. >Arthur:(in between giggles) You......watch........Sailor.....Moon? Mike: It's trendy! >Gage:(trying to cover-up) I watch the show for it’s political effect...... > >William:(finishing) ...of seeing young teenage girls in short skirts. Crow: You know, Mike, these guys are doing a good job riffing. Let's leave. Mike: Good idea. [Picks up Servo.] [Everyone leaves.] 1 2 3 4 5 6 [SOL. Mike is still reading that book.] Servo: You know, Mike, those things will rot your mind. Mike: Books? Crow: Yeah! You should be smart and start playing video games and eating candy and watching TV violence! Mike: I suppose...but trust me..you guys will be reading this one.. Josh: FINE! Lemme see it. [Josh grabs the book from Mike. A leaflet falls out. Josh drops the book.] Servo: WHOA! A secret message! [Mike screams out and holds his foot, hopping around, crashing into things.] Cambot: Slow down! AAUGH! *konk* [Cambot shakes a bit and stills.] Cambot: You low-life! Crow: READ THE MESSAGE! READITREADITREADIT! Josh: Alright..ooh! It's the Chant of Hodgson. Servo: Sing it! Maybe it'll do something cool, like the Occarina of Time! Josh: You're better at Quasi-Gregorian chants. Servo: Alright..ooooooo joooooo *Poof* Servo: Hey, I wasn't finished! Crow: LOOK! JOEL! [Joel is in Nelson's place, holding a snow-bunnie.] Joel: Pick you up at 8, ok? Snow-Babe: Tee hee! Joel: Oh, hey! We're on..welcome to the Satellite of Love..I'm.. Crow: Robinson! Where have you been these past episodes? Joel: Well, after I did work on Robot Carnival 2, the company went bankrupt and fired me as a result. Josh: Did you cause it? Joel: Not really. I guess they fired me for the hell of it. Servo: That sucks, Joel. Well..good to have you back. Joel: How are those crazy Mads doing? [Joel hits the Mads button.] [A big crater in the ground. Observer slowly crawls out of the crater, burned badly, though his brain bowl is unscathed..The student body of the school just continues to walk by the crater. Noone really cares about the explosion. Serena sticks her head out of the ash.] Serena: This is all YOUR fault, ape-breath. Bobo: Me? But Miss, I didn't even.. Serena: Your power level is higher than ours! Luna: We..give..up.. Raye: You're too good. But..we'll be back! Serena: HA! HA! HA! Reeny: *Bonks Bobo on the head with the flying cat thing again* Bobo: OWCH! [Suddenly, Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Aeris, and Nabiki come running through.] Cloud: This is all your fault, Yuffie! Yuffie: What? Cloud: You had to take us back to *this* time period. Serena: NEW STUDENTS! [Suddenly, all the Scouts have little anime swirly eyes.] Scouts: Must..become..friends..with..students.. Aeris: Watch what you say! [It starts to rain.] Aeris the Cat: MREOW! Darnit! [The scouts doubletake.] Luna: RAAAA! Aeris the Cat: I'm supposed to fight against a 3- legged cat? Luna: Oops, forgot about that. AAAAAAAH! [Aeris divebombs Luna.] Chichi: That's it..it's fighting time! Serena: Moon..Crescent..Po- [Chichi punches Serena in the jaw, knocking her unconscious.] Chichi(dusting her hands off): Heh heh..Who's da man/woman? Nabiki: This'll look good for blackmailing Cloud later..heh heh.. Yuffie: Ack! The principal! And we don't have a hall pass! All: AAAAAAAAH!(Everyone runs for their class) Bobo: Ho...ho...they're gone. Reeny: I don't have class here. Bobo: Oh no! *bonk* OW! OW! STOP! OOF! [Mike walks over to Reeny.] Mike: Hey! Leave the ape alone. Reeny: AAAAAAAAH! Observer: Nelson! What on Earth are you doing.. on Earth? Mike: I jus.. Reeny: DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY!*clings to Mike* Mike: Um..what? Bobo: Ho ho ho! Thank goodness! [Bobo gets up, dusts himself off, and begins walking..right into the crater.] Bobo: HOOOOOOOOoooooooo-*thud* Mike: Um..Joel? Can you please explain this? [SOL.] Joel: Well, I'd say she thinks you're Darien.. Crow: I say she needs glasses. [School.] Reeny: I'm never gonna leave you again ever ever ever ever ever ever ever.. Mike: Yeah..that's..that's great. Observer: Well, sending you back to the satellite. Mike: NO! I still have Ree- *poof* Bobo: Well..that was fun...owie.. Observer: Where next on our "exciting" Japan tour? Bobo: OOH! HOO! The statue of liberty! Observer: Oh, for Christ's sake.. [SOL.] *poof* Reeny: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! A CROW! [Reeny takes out her flying cat thing and starts whacking Crow.] Crow: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! OW! OUCH! AAAHAHAHAHAHAUGH! STOP! Servo: Well..you have to admit, she seems to have some things in common with Mike. Josh: So who's gonna write the Ransom note? Mike: We'll..be right back. Joel: Don't write a ransom note..cause you don't want Mel Gibson to track us down.. Servo: Good point. [Planet spins..] Crow: OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! Stop that, god dammit! [ Everyone reenters the theaters.. ] Joel: I hope Mike has what it takes to be a fake parent. Crow: Yeah.. >(Arthur is now rolling on the floor laughing) Servo: Looks like they're still riffing each other. Crow: Let's go..just kiddin'. >Gage:(pissed) WILL! > >Arthur:(gasping for air) Which is his fave? I’ll bet it’s Jupiter. Gage >is the kind of guy who’d go for tall women. Crow: If he wants that he should go to a WNBA game. >Gage: Et tu Arthur? Joel: Es falso, ?verdad? >William: Nope! It’s....(whispers) mercury. > >Gage: Will! Josh: Jenny! Servo: Cyrus! Joel: Chief! Crow: McCloud! Servo: Hehe.. >(Their discussion is cut short when a reporter announces an INN update) > >Reporter: This is an Interactive News Network Special Bulletin. Here now >is anchor Mark Johnson. Josh: They named an anchor Mark Johnson? What next? A poopdeck named Old Washy? >(The screen shows anchor Mark Johnson in a somber mood) Crow(noting "soMber"): Hi, I have a hangmover from being drumnk. >Johnson: It pains me to report that Amy Urawa, member of Crystal Tokyo’s >court, has died at St. Spencer Memorial Hospital. All: YAY! >It was 3 months ago Joel[Charlton Heston]: Yes..so..very long ago..there was a girl there..I still remember that promise I..made to that girl.. Crow: Ok, Joel, enough. >today that an explosion at the Nor-Easter Chemical Plant claimed the >lives of 200 people and contaminated thousands more with the bio-virus >Araxus-Quinnide X, commonly known as The Color Eater. Crow: The Colon Eater? Joel: No, The Cirrhosis Dealer. Servo: I heard The Bowler Meeter. >Urawa was one of those thousands contaminated. The symptoms included >high fever, blanching of the facial area, and general bodilly weakness. Josh: And the usual anime squarehead symptoms. >The virus Servo: Was quickly annihilated in Dr. Mario. >gradually eats away at the victim’s metabolism untill the victim dies. >Mrs. Urawa leaves her husband of 323 years, Joel: Take your time, Methusulah. >Greg Urawa, and her 2 children, Maxwell and Paul. Once again: Amy >Urawa, member of CT’s court, has died at St. Spencer Memorial. Crow: They..lived over 300 years and only had 2 children? >(All are silent as the news is relayed) Joel: Well..anyway, let's go back to our Sailor Moon bickering.. >(Suddenly the alarms and klaxons blare) Joel: MOVIE SIGN! AAAAH! Crow: AAAAH! Servo: Hey, wait a second. >Computer: Alert! Alert! Temporal Distortion In Progress! All Available >Agents Report to Jump Point Alpha! Joel: What? Are the computers not year 3000 compliant now? >(The gang heads to the main Temporo-Comp) > >William:(punching keys) I’ve pinpointed the rip in Tokyo, Japan. Crow: It's in a pair of denim jeans. >Time: May 23, 1992 A.D. Josh: That's funny, up here the time's 7:20. Not 23:1992. >Gage:(quietly) The Disclosure. > >William:(puzzled) What’d you say Gage? > >Gage:(hurridly)Nothing, Will. Servo: I was just thinking about my mortgage payments. >William: Arthur, you have to give up the guise so Gage can use the suit. > >Arthur:Oh, all right. Gage needs the suit more than I do. Joel: Why, thank you..HEEYY! >(A flash of energy and the Chameleon Suit transfers to Gage’s body) Josh: Great! He's turned into Gex! Sheesh! >Will: The co-ords are logged in, Gage. The suit should have a late 20th >century Japaneese guise in it’s databanks. Crow: Ooh! I like cheeeeese from the Japaneeeeese! Servo: *chuckle* >Gage: Thanks, Will. See’ya on the other side. > >William: Yeah, Gage. (seriously) Good luck, buddy. Joel: Um, we're one-dimensional, what side are you talking about? >(The trademark lighting and sounds associated with a TDU [Time >Displacement Unit] activated occur as Gage and Arthur are propelled back >into the ages) Crow: They're travelling back to our future past, I see. >(fade out) >-------------------------------------------------------------------------->---- >--------------------- Joel: It's the side-view of the Starship Enterprise! Servo: Hey, look at that..whadda ya know.. Josh: We'll be right back after these... >(fade in to a city in full swing) Josh: Um..never mind. Crow: Whooaaaa! I'm gettin' dizzy! Stop the ride! >(Caption reads:) Josh: "A City in Full Swing". >Place: Tokyo, Japan >Juban District >Time: May 23, 1992 >8:02 P.M. Joel: So now we have time, but in the future we don't..hmm. >(dissolve to an abandoned building where Gage appears) Crow: Hm..that old building over there is dissolving.. >Arthur:(now audio only) Wheee! What A Rush! No matter how many times we >time travel, the trip will always be my fave part! Servo: Especially after the acid kicks in! >Gage: Calm down, Arthur! We don’t want to attract attention before I >activate the guise. Joel: Tell the guise yourself to be quiet. Servo: Hehe..guys.. >(Gage does so. The green Jumpsuit swirls to create a green buisiness suit >while the helmet completly dissapears into Null-Space) Josh: He's using one of those old TMNT human-costumes! >Arthur:(singing) ‘Cause every girl’s crazy ‘bout a Sharp Dressed Man! > >Gage:Shh! > >Arthur:(sotto) Sorry, Gage. > >(Gage looks through the only window of the building that is not borded up >and notices somthing unusual) Servo: Hm..those robots we hired to do the interior are backfiring.. >Gage: Arthur! Check this out! > >(We see that they are looking at a giant skyscraper made almost entirely >on the spot) Crow: Look at all those trees being ripped out of the ground by that thing! >Arthur: (amazed) Wow! If I know my urban history, and I do, Tokyo’s >records don’t mention anything of this building existing before OR after >today. Servo: Actually, I heard one of Tokyo's 8-tracks had something on it, but I lost that one. >It’s as if this building shouldn’t even be here. Joel: Like someone's tamporing with time..what an original plot! >(Gage [Arthur is residing in a Translator Biochip] leaves the apartment >and walks down the street) > >Gage: (stops a man on the street) Excuse me, but do you know anything >about that building(he points at the skyscraper) over there? Josh: Why's he talking in English to someone from Tokyo? >Man: Not a whole lot. You might like to know that strange things have >been going down around here. Crow: Actually, that bogs down my entire day, but continue. >A few weeks ago a man named Maxfield Stanton disapeared while at the >park. He was never seen again. Servo: Um..that's interesting. Who's Maxfield Staton, Joel? Joel: I dunno.. >Arthur: Uh...Gage? I was checking the Japan Bureau of Records from now >‘till 2328 and I couldn’t find File One concerning this Maxfield Stanton >character. Crow: Just two seconds after the man told him about the guy? >No birth certificate, no death certificate, no nada! Joel: No shoes, no shirt, no service! >Gage: Interesting. > >Man: Who are you talking to? Servo[Danny]: It's my finger..REDRUM! REDRUM! >(Gage realizes that the man saw him talk to nobody) > >Gage:(quickly) Nothing. I just find that interesting. > >(Gage leaves the man and heads toward the ‘scraper. As Gage nears it, he >notices somthing else ) Joel: Trumpy? Trumpy, stop making everything spin around in stop-motion! Crow: Trumpy..hehe. >Gage: There is some wierd parcipitation near there. Servo: PARcipitation? >(a pan from the bottom shows that the top of the building with a wierd >thunderstorm localized to the building) Joel: That's a pretty good pan. I'd buy it if it had a no-stick guarantee. >Arthur: Yeah, that is Wierd with a capital ‘WE’. > >(Gage races inside and looks around) > >Gage: Woah! Will you take a look at this. Crow: Do we have to take a look at this? I don't think we have a choice. >(a slow pan shows the ‘scraper’s interior is covered in vines and >protrusions of an unknown material) Joel: Wait..this pan has scrapes..I'm not getting it. >Arthur: (amazed) Wow, yeah Gage! Was this place built or grown? Josh: Yeah, they use those new building seeds..farmers love 'em.. >(Gage and Arthur here wierd noises from above) Crow: Trumpy, get down from there! [Servo plays carnival music from The Pod People.] Joel: MOO! *splat* >Gage: Did you hear that, Arthur? Servo: Sounds like a cow impersonator being crushed by a 4-ton weight! >Arthur: Yeah. Sounded like.....like......laughter. Evil, evil laughter. Crow: Uh oh, Kefka's coming. Joel: No, that's evil, evil muffled warks. >(The sounds of an explosion are heard) > >Arthur: Sounds like it came from the top floor Servo: Sounds like it's getting clos-AAAAUGH! >(The duo race to the nearest elevator, only to discover that...) Joel: Damn, the buttons are in Japanese! >Gage: The car is missing! Servo: Hm. Noticed that from inside a solid elevator. That's interesting. >Arthur: This could be the work of those time bandits. So that we >couldn’t get to the top. Crow: Yeah..I hate it when people prevent cars from driving up buildings. >(Gage spots an open and inviting elevator) > >Gage: There’s one Josh: Yeah, let's get out of this perfectly good elevator and get into that shoddy, renovated one. >(Immediatly after the two enter, the doors snap shut and the elevator >starts its ascent) > >Arthur:(Imitating Church Lady) Isn’t that conveeeeenient? Crow[Church Lady] If you take Sailor and Journeyman, take the s and a from Sailor, the a and n from Journeyman, and add a t..what do you get..wouldn't you get SATAN?! >(As the elevator rises, the cab slowly transforms untill it is the same >as the lobby) Joel: How about that? Taxis that morph into floors of buildings. >Gage: Something tells me that we should be on our guard, Arthur. > >(The elevator stops and the doors slide open) Crow: RAAAAA! Servo: DIEEEEEE! Joel: KILL THE HEROES! >Arthur: Great Googly Moogly, Gage! Check this out! > >(the camera shifts to show 3 people. The first is a blond person in a >greyish uniform. All: YAY! Crow: I'd gladly accept Serena's antics as long as it saves me from this horrible plot. >by looking at it, one would think that the person was a Bishonen male. >But upon listening to the person speak, one would then realize it was a >she. Servo: Sort of like the kid in Quest of the Delta Knights. >She is staring down the other 2. Crow: Well, this girl's pair is ok, but this guy has a better one..huh? >One is a male who appeared to be dressed in a tuxedo, cape and white >Masquerade mask. Crow[T.M.]: Do you know where the wedding of April and Bob is? I'm supposed to perform at the recession. >Number 2, a few paces behind, is a young girl not more that 14 years old >and oddly well developed.. Servo: If Japan thinks it's odd, I can't wait to see what America thinks. >She is wearing a white one-piece combined with a short, blue skirt. Joel: It's called a school uniform, dickweed. >here were 2 red bows. One on the front and one on the back. She was >also wearing red thigh-high boots. What caught Gage’s attention was her >hair. Crow: Nice meatballs..oh..that's your hair..hmm..I guess I'll have to get my meal somewhere else. >Blond with 2 flowing trails reaching her waist, and done up in what can >be only described as meatball-shaped (for lack of a better term) deedle->bobs.) Servo: Actually, I like the term "meatball-shaped" better. Crow: Me too. >Uniformed woman(UW): Now, place the crystals on the floor. > >Man: Not unless you swear not to swipe them. Josh: Alright, I don't swear to not don't swipe them. >UW: I swear Crow: You shouldn't..it leads to bad habits. >(The man places 4 spherical gems off to one side. Each gem is of a >different color.) Joel: This is the precursor to Pokemon, isn't it? >(The UW gestures to an area behind the young girl and a crystiline spear >materializes on the ground, and heads for the girl’s back.) Crow: *poke* Hm..that's funny..there's this large pointy object coming out of my stomach. >Arthur: I ran a check. That millitary woman ain’t in any databanks of >this timezone. > >Gage: Then she must be the cause of the rip! We have to do something! Servo: Before she tears more of her clothes! >(Gage wips a pistol out of Null-Space and shoots an energy web at the >UW.) Crow: *U*ndressed *W*oman? >UW: (angry) What is this outrage! I can’t move! > >(As Gage approaches the scene, the crystal spear dissapears just inches >from the young girl’s back) Servo: Damn! We were so close, too. Joel: Yeah.. >Gage: (to UW) Under Section 4356-Q12, Ammendment 44 of the United Earth >Charter, I hearby place you under arrest for felony Historical Sabotage. >You will be returned to 2328 where you will stand fair trial. You have >the right to remain silent. Crow: Don't even *TRY* to use body language either. >If you choose to Servo: Accept it, Ethan, is to break into a crappy fanfic and save its viewers from going into a cataclyptic state. >waive that right, anything you say or do can be used against you in a >court of law. You have... Joel: Nice breasts. Can I squeeze them in the car? >UW: How dare you confine me to your rules! I am Zoycite! General of the >Negaverse! Crow: Isn't that where Darkwing Duck's evil twin lives? >Gage:(sarcastic) And I am the King of England. > >(as this back-and-forth progresses, 4 other people enter the area. All >young girls, their clothes are nearly the same as the first one except >for the color of their skirts. The raven-haired girl’s was red, the >blond’s was yellow-orange, the blue-haired girl’s was blue[duh], and the >brunett’s, the tallest of the 4, was green) Crow: Well, they're ALMOST color-coded. Servo: I guess that Color Eater from a while back messed with the Brunett's skirt. >Blond: Are you allright, Sailor Moon? Joel: There's only one of me. I can't be all right, squarehead! >Moon:(confused) I guess so, Venus. > >Blue-Haired Girl: What happened? Crow: Well, first the heavens and the earth were created..but it was a void..so.. >Moon: That witch, Zoycite, challenged Tuxedo Mask to a duel for the >Rainbow Crystals. Josh: No purpose for them of course, but since when did Sailor Moon have any justifiable cause of action? > I had a feeling that she would cheat. Next thing I know, >she is doubled-over and and some guy shows up and arrested her. Does >this make any sense to you, Mercury? Crow: I'm just the stuff they make thermometers with, don't ask me! >Mercury: Not a bit. [Guffaws.] Crow: WOO! They made a breakthrough. They admitted they were squareheads. >Moon: The wierdest thing about this is that Tuxedo Mask is actually >*Darien*! Joel: NO! Really? Crow: He's not going to be that pleased if he sees Mike with Reeny. >Brunett: I don’t believe it! Tuxedo Mask is Darien? Servo: And all this time I thought it was just Darien's mask-wearing twin! >Venus: Believe it, Jupiter. > >(Tuxedo Mask sees Gage and heads over to him while yelling) > >Tuxedo Mask(TM): Crow: All properties, rights, and merchandise of Tuxedo Mask belong to the alleged companies and are reserved. >Why did you interfere? I could have won the other crystals! Josh: This isn't fair! I can trade these crystals for MewThree! >Arthur:(peeved) You *would* have seen your gal-pal get skewered like a >girk-ka-bob! Crow: Then why did these guys bother going through time? >(TM is stunned to see a voice come out but no moving lips) Servo: Get used to it. It's poor English-dubbing. >TM: Who said that? > >Gage: That was Arthur, my sidekick. > >Arthur: *Ahem*? > >Gage: I mean my partner on my missions. Joel: He kicks me in the side when I belittle him, you see. >Arthur: Thank you. > >Raven-Haired Girl: Would someone please tell us what is going on? Crow: These squareheads need a frickin' explanation every five minutes.. Servo: What happened to the studying Serena? I liked her. >Venus: Yeah! Mars is right. > >Gage: Of course. Follow me. Joel: The music picks up a bit, but you should be able to follow my lead. >(Mars is doubtful) > >Mars: Should we trust him? Josh: Depends on what your definition of trust is. Well, depends on if you KNOW what the definition of trust is. >Moon: Sure. I mean he just saved my and Darien’s lives >Jupiter: Yeah! Any friend of Sailor Moon is a friend of the Scouts. Servo: That's not funny, Gage, stop aiming your gun at Jupiter's head. >Mars: (resigningly) Okay. (to Gage) Where to? > >Gage: In one minute: (Activates com-link) Will, Mission Accomplished. >We got the perp Crow: And the peeps, and we're givin' props..wigga. > and have some others who need attention.(winks at the Scouts) Joel: Strong MEDICAL attention. >William:(voice) A-OK, Gage. Initiating Recall Command.......Now. Crow: A-Ok? Don't they mean A-Ko? >(The group is engulfed in energy and dissapear back to TSA) > >(fade out) TO BE CONTINUED........ Joel: But not on this show! >Closing theme: “Chasing Forever” By: Will Smith Crow: That's a decidedly white pick. Joel: The song? Crow: No, just that this is the choice for a theme song. >Next time: >The Scouts meet the staff of the TSA, learn of a new threat to Time and >learn a suprising fact about themselves and Gage. Servo[Church Lady]: Could it be..their..relationship..to..SATAN?! >All this and more in Episode 02: >“Welcome To The Future” Josh: That SOUNDS like the end to Dragon Ball Z. >-------------------------------------------------------------------------->---- >--------------------- >Author’s Notes: Joel: Good! Maybe he can explain why there's a bunch of crappy 3 line text drawings. >Thus endeth “Sailor Journeyman” Episode 1. Thanks to Naoko Takeuchi, >Presto Servo: Chango! >Studios and all those people who made Sailor Moon and JourneyMan Project >possible. BTW: Will Smith is signed to Columbia Records and I am not >intending to make Crow: ..him look good in any way. If I'm going down I'm taking him with me. >any money off this story. Till next time: Servo: Or date, considering his definition of time. [Everyone leaves the theater.] 1 2 3 4 5 6 [SOL. Mike is STILL reading his book.] Crow: Whew! That was fun at the end! Mike: Oh, hey guys! Reeny: DADDY! DADDY! READ ME A STORY! Joel: Hey, I'll read you a story.. Reeny: Oh boy! [Reeny sits down and pulls out a gun.] Reeny: AND IT BETTER BE GOOD! Joel: Of course..now..I guess before I read the story I can tell the Mads that this is my invention..for the Invention Exchange. As you may know, people have gotten bored of the traditional storybook. Crow: Like..me and Servo and Josh. Joel: Right. Well, I designed a special kind of book. You know those books-on-tape. Well, this is a book-on-neurotics. Here, let me demonstrate.. [Joel attaches wires to Servo's head.] Crow: A Force Feedback book? Joel: In essence, yes. But it really replies to the voice of the reader and not the book itself. Alright..let me turn this on. Ok. This story's called..hold on..where's the book, Crow? [Crow hands a book to Joel.] Crow: Why, it's right here, Joel! Joel: You ok? Never mind. Ok...chapter one..Tom Servo basked in the warm sunshine. There were birds..and the sun's warm, gentle rays poured onto Servo's back.. [Tom leans back and hangs his mouth open, relaxing.] Joel: When suddenly, out of nowhere, Timmy attacked Tom with a relentless array of bashes with a baseball bat, asking HIM how it feels! Tom: Ah..hu..OW! OW! STOP! OW! STOP IT! [Tom starts to sizzle.] Joel: Servo thought he could escape, but it was no use. Timmy was upon him. The end. Tom: AAAAUGH! HEEEEELP! JOEL! STOP THIS CRAZY THING! [Suddenly, Tom explodes in a bright burst of light. Cambot shows Rocket #3 as there is a big puff of fire spewing from the cockpit..then gas..then nothing...] ~pause~ Reeny: Can you read me another story? Joel: Why not? Josh: We'll be right back. Mike: I'll look for a replacement Servo.. Joel: How'd you like the invention, Pearl? [Castle Forrester. Pearl gives the OK sign.] Pearl: *smiles..then..* IT STINKS. *planet spins* Joel: Ok, this story's called "Servo's Revenge on Crow", ok, Reeny?