So far, the host segment continuity has gone through "Tricks of the Trade", "Orcium", and "Seeing Stars" respectively, after which it continues into Cedric Henry's "Merry Christmas" MSTing. [Season 8 theme] [SAFE...2...3...4...5...6...Klunk-shunk] [Mike is alone] MIKE: Hi, everyone, I'm Mike Nelson. Howdy. Welcome to the Satellite of Love, and- [Dozens of models of the SOL fall on him] OOF! The hell? Servo? [Several machine parts fall on him] Ow! Crow? [Many (stuffed) crows fall on him] What's going on?? [Enter Tom and Crow] CROW: Hi, Mike. TOM: Howdy-doody. MIKE: Guys...? [Several mannequins fall on him] Ouch! What is all this?! CROW: Oh, y'know how whenever Captain Kangaroo says "ping-pong balls," he gets pummeled by ping-pong balls? MIKE: Yeah? TOM: Well, we've taken it to a new level. We had the nanites build an instant-matter-constructing machine on the ceiling, voice activated by you only. CROW: Now any object you mention shall fall on you by the dozens, in light of this famous shtick. MIKE: Why- [Cardboard copies of the letter "Y" fall] -you...! [A few life- sized stuffed sheep fall on him as he falls behind the desk] CROW: Whoa... TOM: You think we went too far with this gag? MIKE: [Still down] Get me a doctor... [Several BBIers dressed as medics fall from the sky, each landing on Mike resulting in him uttering "Ow."] TOM: Ooo... maybe... CROW: Not as bad as the "Screaming Lemur" incident, I hafta admit, though. TOM: Yeah... [Commercial Sign] Oh, we'll be right back. CROW: Mike? DOCTOR: We'll take it from here. CROW: `Kay. [Commercials] [Mike is laid on the desk head-to-toe in bandages. Crow and Tom are in front of him] CROW: Um... we took the thing down. So you can talk now. MIKE: Mmf. TOM: See? Not a single "mmf" fell on you. Happy? MIKE: Mmf. CROW: Oh, and with eighteen medics, I had to charge it all to your credit card. You don't mind, do ya? MIKE: [Struggling] MMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFF! CROW: I knew you wouldn't. Thanks, Pop, you're swell. [Call light] TOM: Poil's callin'. MIKE: Mmf. [Mobius, hut interior. Observer, Pearl, and Bobo, left to right, are in three separate beds. Bobo has the remote to the TV in front of them] PEARL: Hi, Nel-stink. Things have somewhat taken a crappy turn for us. Turns out this "mild" Smilitis has effected our foreign bodies. It's a bit worse to us than it is to Mobians. If I could just grab Rotor's neck right now... BOBO: Shh, my favorite commercial is on. PEARL: What? BOBO: It's that one where there are all these psychics, and everyone says "Wow, cool, she's really a psychic," and the psychic says "I'm a psychic," then she does psychical things, like telling a woman she's a woman. It's really great. PEARL: As you can see, Mike, I'm at the end of my rope. Not even Whitey's brain power can fight off the virus. OBSERVER: [Waves slightly] Hi, I'm sick. PEARL: And basically, none of the Mobians dare come near us for catching the mild-but-very-annoying Smilitis. [SOL, Mike is back to normal] MIKE: Well, any symptoms of this "mutation"? [Mobius] OBSERVER: I'm growing hair. PEARL: I'm losing weight. BOBO: My butt isn't red anymore. OBSERVER: I'm getting color. PEARL: I don't feel as evil as I used to. BOBO: My IQ went up two points in fifteen minutes. [SOL] MIKE: And you want to... get rid of it? [Mobius] ALL: YES! [SOL] MIKE: Well, alright, I suppose we could send a couple of nanites down. CROW: Sure. [Mobius] PEARL: Thanks. D'oh! You see how not evil I'm getting?? It's horrible! Well, anyway, I guess I'd better send you your fanfic for today. It's called "Vixen in the Labyrinth," and it uses the same formula of adding yourself to your favorite show, except this time it's written by the female point of view. Believe me, this does not make it any better. Also, there's a short, called "IT'S WAY PAST COOL, MAN" with I-don't-know-how-many exclamation points. It isn't worth summarizing. Hope you enjoy... I mean suffer. Damn this illness, damn it... [SOL, the Microscope/Monitor is down] TOM: Nanites, are you ready for launch? [Microscope, a small rocket ship. Inside are Ned and Wade] NED: Roger that, Mr. Servo. [SOL] TOM: Then................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ....................................................................... ............................................................... engage. [A small "fwish" is heard. Then the alarms go off] ALL: FANFIC SIGN!!!!! [Shunk...6...5...4...3...2...SAFE...] [All enter and sit down] > IT'S WAY PAST COOL MAN!!!! CROW: We can only hope... > BY MATTHEW LUEBBERT >It was a bright MIKE: OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! MY EYES! > and sunny day on Mobius when all of a sudden it started to rain. >It must have been Robotnik TOM: The weather report was wrong! It must be our most hated villain! > that darn evil man how does he do all >this stuff. CROW: Did that sentence just hiccup? > In a flash MIKE: Great, now we're watching 'Showgirls'. > it's like magic when that happened now lets get to the good part. TOM: Um, at least the spelling's decent. >sonic was playing baseball at a restaurant. MIKE: Chicken nuggets make good baseballs. CROW: You've had a pathetic life, my man. > The cops came and arrested him. CROW: "I swear, officer! She *looked* eighteen!" > But it really >was his brother Meansonic. MIKE: Clichéman strikes again. > When Sonic walked in to the restaurant his >brother ran out and the cops accidently arrested Sonic. TOM: Racist cops think every hedgehog looks alike. MIKE: So he's arrested for.... > He was struggling >but it was too late they threw him into jail. CROW: Plus an extra charge for passing 'Go' to collect two hundred dollars. > He told them they >got the wrong guy but they didn't believe him. TOM: If you don't have money, you don't have freedom nowadays. > Tails heard on the news >that Sonic got arrested MIKE: It's a good thing the ten-year-old was watching CNN. > and saved him and together destroyed Meansonic. CROW: They killed the only likable character. TOM: I know. He had such in-depth characterization. I almost felt like I was him myself. MIKE: {sniff} I'll miss him. > > > > > CROW: And, um... MIKE: Yeah, the... space... um... > THE END MIKE: Well, hey, that wasn't so bad! TOM: Yeah. > > > ___------__ > |\__-- /\ _ - > |/ __ _ > //\ / \ /__ > | o| 0|__ --_ > \\____-/ __ \ ___ - > (@@ ___/ / /_ > -_____--- --_ > // \ \\ - > //|\__/ \\ ___ - > \_\\_____/ \-\ > // \\\| > ____// ||_ >/___//_\ /___\ MIKE: [Picking up Tom to leave] Good likeness. TOM: Doubt he made it himself. CROW: How come he has two noses, though? > > >-- CROW: [Following Mike out] What symbolism. I was just about to dash away. [SAFE...2...3...4...5...6...Klunk-shunk!] MIKE: Well, at least it was short. TOM: Yup. [Commercial]