[All enter and sit down] >I'd like to start out by saying, TOM: "Burz, negga, xerp." > this story is from before Robotnik was >defeated. CROW: There! And I'll say it again if I have to! > Plus I'd like to thank CamCoon, MIKE: Filmed via Coon Cam; entirely from a raccoon's point of view! > who really brightened my day >with his response to "Bunnie's Bad Day", TOM: So she got *one* positive response to her previous fanfic. CROW: Sad, really. > Bookshire, who happens to be the >best storyteller around, ALL: What? CROW: She's, um, being sarcastic, right? > and I'd also like to say to a certain "Nefaria" MIKE: One of Pinky's feminine exclamations. >that I would love it if he sent me more pictures. Clean ones that is. CROW: He's sending nude pictures of himself to her? {Yech} > >On wit da storwee... TOM: Hey, wow. You know, this is just-- wow. I've never wanted to kill myself so early into a fanfic before. Wow. >__________________________________________________________ >"VIXEN IN THE LABYRINTH" CROW: Jennifer Connelly wasn't *that* hot. > by Holly-Beth Vixie Kraft (my real name) TOM: It's such a good thing that she clarified she wasn't using a pseudonym. CROW: With a name like Kraft, y'know this fanfic has t'be cheesy. > > It was a MIKE: Dark and stormy night. That's a rip-off. > typical Knothole day. Tails was outside playing with CROW: To have a dirty thought, or not to have a dirty thought... >Sonic. Sally and Bunnie were talking and figuring out things on Nicole. TOM: Like who has a crush on them, when "Weird Al's" next concert will be... >Rotor stood in his workshop, MIKE: Oh, WOW! He sure knows how to live. TOM: Is he doing anything? Or does he just feel like standing there? > and Dulcy was asleep. MIKE: I take that back! SHE definitely lives life on the edge! > Antoine happened to be >on lookout that day, TOM: Just happened to be. It was kind of an accident. > and he was getting very t ired. CROW: So tired, in fact, he fell asleep on his spacebar. MIKE: She really was influenced by Bookshire. She stole his "list people in their typical day" introduction. > To no one in particular, he spoke. TOM: [Stage whisper] Get the straight jacket. > "Sacre bleu cheese! CROW: Hey, I know he sucks at English, but why is he screwing up his own language? > Zees es >soooooo boreeng...Ah I know! Oui Oui, yes TOM: That's right, Holly; 'oui' means 'yes.' > I will take a break for zome >loonsh. Zat weel get me goeeng!" MIKE: Maybe with a mouth full, his accent won't be so obvious. > Antoine smiled CROW: Great. Holly's reminding me of Pearl's sad condition. > and walked over to the edge TOM: Oh, he's doing ESPN Extreme Marching. > of the lookout post to >reach his sandwich. Unfortunately, there was a loose board, and Antoine, >being himself, tripped over it, making him squash face first into his >calamari dish. MIKE: And his commas scattered randomly. > Sonic and Tails had happened to be looking at Antoine when he >fell, TOM: They just *happened* to be. It was another accident. > and they were rolling on the forest floor, laughing. CROW: I've never seen someone use 'ROTFFL' before. > As soon as they >had calmed down, they ran up the ladder to help him. TOM: Poor dope already drowned in his squid. > "Why Ant, MIKE: Why not Ant? > why I think squid makes a statement for you!" MIKE: Why not I think squid makes a statement for you!? TOM: This sentence brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department. > Sonic sneered. > Tails fell down again and laughed. CROW: And fell off the ladder, smashing his head wide open. > "I am not thinkeeng zees was funny! Stop laughing!" Antoine said >with malice as he picked off his lunch. > "Chill Ant, MIKE: Actually, I *burn* ants. Use my magnifying glass. > I just came to tell you that your shift is over, you >can go back to Knothole." Sonic smiled. TOM: "And to laugh as hard as possible in your face." > "Hmph...I knew this! CROW: Actually, that's 'zis.' If you're gonna use a cheesy accent, follow through with it all the way. > You cannot knit wool over mah eyes!" TOM: Now he has a Southern accent. > Antoine >said matter-of-factly. > "Good, then go! Dulcy takes over from here!" Sonic then whistled MIKE: [Wolf whistle] "What a babe!" >for Dulcy. It never failed to bring her attention. Hearing it, she got up >and flew to the lookout. TOM: As mentioned, it grabbed her attention. > "Hi Sonic! Hi Tails! Hi...uh..Tony." paused Dulcy, "Um, Antoine, if >you don't mind me asking, what happened to you?" MIKE: "What doze eet look like? My face explodeed." > "He was attacked by a killer squid!" giggled Tails. CROW: Now *that's* a good movie idea. I gotta write that down. > Sonic laughed. "C'mon Tails, let's go see what your ol' Aunt Sal >is doing with Bunnie." TOM: I hope they aren't doing anything with each other, if you know what I mean. > "Okay Sonic! Bye Dulcy!" barked Tails, CROW: Well, he *is* a canine after all. > as he climbed down the tree. > Antoine was close behind him as he and Sonic left. > > "Hey, Sal. What's cookin CROW: ' TOM: Or g. > ?" said Sonic as he and Tails walked into >the hut. > "Hi Sonic, we're just working on a plan to sabotage one of power >plants in Robotropolis." replied Sally. CROW: They do that, like, every other episode or fanfic. When are they gonna realize that that doesn't work? > "Plus we're workin' with Nicole here to find out why I've been >sleep-walking!" added Bunnie. > "Sleep-walking?" said Tails. ALL: Sleep-walking. > "Mm-hm. I keep going over to the Power Ring Pool in the middle of >the night, for reasons Sally-girl is trying ta find out!" MIKE: This has taken priority of Nicole's calculating. > "I'm pretty sure it has to do with a dream you might have had." TOM: YEAH! Brilliant, Holmes. >Sally said to the side of the ongoing conversation. > "Anyway, what's the ol' plan?" CROW: [Sally] "We're gonna Krazy Glue Bunnie to her bed and see how- oh, you mean that power plant thing." > "Well, there's a cargo shuttle containing fuel and oil that we'll >sabotage on the way in. MIKE: Great plan! TOM: "We'll make it fall and explode, undoubtedly burning down half, if not all, of our forest! This team shall never lose!" > When we overtake the Swat-bots on the inside, CROW: How do you plan to get inside the SWATbot? TOM: How many different spellings of 'SWATbot' have we seen so far? > we >can lead the shuttle into the Doomsday Area." MIKE: "*My* Doomsday area." > "Way cool plan, Sal. TOM: Yes. So precise. No way for it to fail. > Tails can come, right?" > "Sonic, I don't think..." CROW: Well, I know that. But seriously, folks... > "Good! That's good! MIKE: But is it good? > You don't think! CROW: Oh, that one just slapped me back in the face. > Okay, so Tails can come with >me!" Sonic grinned mischievously. TOM: "BWAHAHA!" > Sally sighed. "So immature..." CROW: "Is this author." > "Can I, Aunt Sally?" MIKE: Now Sonic's trying to be cute. > "Sure Tails, MIKE: Oh. > but you are going to be careful, right?" > "Of course, Aunt Sally!" Tails smiled. TOM: I'm just gonna punch the teeth out of the next Mobian that smiles. > "Okay." > "Yes! Past cool, big guy! C'mon, let's get ready." Sonic said >motioning to his admirer. > "Yeah!" > > "Snively, have you placed that false file about CROW: "Nude pictures of Lucy Lawless?" > the cargo ship into >the Swat-bots?" Dr. Robotnik growled. > "Yes sir. The freedom fighters have already downloaded it from a >Stealth-bot this morning." MIKE: Stealth-bot, SWATbot, what's the difference? > "Good, Snively. Very good." TOM: But is it good? > "Thank you sir." CROW: "Wow! I did something right!" > "Now once I have that rodent in my vicinity, we'll invite him and >his little friends on a trip to my labyrinth." > "Labyrinth, sir?" questioned Snively. ALL: Labyrinth! MIKE: Does Mobius have ear trouble today? > "Oh yes. It's a complex maze TOM: Thank you, Webster. > I have made especially for that >blasted blue burden. CROW: He's Dr. Smith all of a sudden. > Once inside, I will persuade him to find the center >of the maze. Of course, I'll tell him I will set him and his friends free >when they reach the center, MIKE: "But being I'm the villain, they won't believe me, so it's kinda pointless." > but in the center of my little labyrinth, is >really... TOM: Yes? > a Roboticizer!" BOTS: Oh, boy! > and with this, the evil Doc laughed. MIKE: "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!" > > The next day, Sonic and his friends were packing up to go to >Robotropolis. It was going to be a tough journey since it had began to >rain as they headed off. TOM: Being that Robotnik forgot to waterproof it, the plant exploded and the journey was for nothing. The end, let's go. > Sonic took Sally and Bunnie on each of his arms CROW: Cuz they're weak girls. MIKE: Somewhat odd, being a girl wrote this. >while Tails flew alongside Dulcy, who was carryi ng TOM: A keyboard with a stuck spacebar. > an extremely petrified >Antoine on her back. > When they all reached Robotropolis, MIKE: They headed back to Knot- oh, wait, that was another story. > they began the journey to the >power plant. TOM: The power plant was undoubtedly *in* Robotropolis. MIKE: And they stopped when they got there just to go in? CROW: What? MIKE: Exactly my point. > Smog smothered it. Probably because of over usage. CROW: Holly is just Little Miss Science today. > Sally checked the coordinates from Nicole with the ones she had stolen. MIKE: Sally, bad girl. It's not nice to steal. >According to Nicole, they were right on target. > "C'mon you guys, get inside!" TOM: Oh, I can see how they needed Nicole to find it when they were right at the door. > Sally whispered. > All the Freedom Fighters continued within, when suddenly a giant >monitor came to life MIKE: Frankenstein's monitor. > before the steel door slammed shut behind them. > On the screen was Robotnik. CROW: Hey! It's Donald C. Moore! He looks good with a mustache. > "Welcome, Welcome!" TOM: "Come on in, Mr. Welcome." > he sneered, "I see you found my little false >file in that stealth bot MIKE: Or 'stealth-bot.' > you overtook this morning?" > "I knew it Robutthead! You're always a snake." Sonic shouted. TOM: [Jafar] A ssssnake, am I? > "Oh really? Well, I have another surprise for you. CROW: "Here you go. Happy birthday." > I am pairing you >up with three other Freedom Fighters, MIKE: How do you *pair* someone with *three* other people? > on a trip.. CROW: "See you next fall." > through my labyrinth..." > "What's the deal Moon-head?" Bunnie cried. > "Oh, it's a lovely little maze I designed for all of you. In it, >there are traps, tricks, and treachery! If you make it to the center of >the labyrinth, I guess I'll be able to set you free. TOM: So what was the whole point of that scene with Robotnik telling his plan to Snively? > That IS if you can >make it to the center." > "Don't be so sure about that, Robo-geek. MIKE: [Robotnik] "Oh, yeah? Well, you're a booger-head." > This is one way past cool >hedgehog you're talking to. CROW: Where? > Don't count on us being stopped." Sonic said >with certitude. > Robotnik chuckled. "We'll see, rodent...we'll see." > And with that, TOM: The universe exploded for no particular reason. > the floor dropped out from beneath all the Freedom >Fighters, leaving them to a high domed maze. MIKE: Of course, as seen from their flying abilities earlier, Tails and Dulcy easily flew the others out. Sheesh. > Beside them, were the three >other Freedom Fighters Robotnik was talking about. All three were girls. CROW: Say... > The first, a fox CROW: I'm sure. > about Tails' age, CROW: Oh, ca-ca-poo-poo. > stood up. "I'm Vixie Lamenta, TOM: Aw, man. An author-representing character mentioned in 'Blood & Metal.' I have a feeling we're in for some pain. >Freedom Fighter of Northbreeze. This is Zip," MIKE: "It's best not to wonder why she's called that." > she said pointing to a >hedgehog about the same age as Sally, TOM: Remember, the same age as *Sally*, not her other peers. > "and this is Annie." CROW: "She lost her pupils. Don't let it freak you out." > she finished, >motioning to a young hedgehog, who was younger than all of them. MIKE: In fact, she wasn't even born yet. > "I guess you're our partners through the labyrinth?" said Zip. > "I guess so," replied Sally, becoming slightly jealous of Zip. CROW: For no reason in particular. Sonic hasn't shown any signs of like whatsoever and neither has Zip. Sally can just get so hormonal at times. > "Well, let's get this thing over with." said Sonic. > Vixie walked over to Tails. > "Why do you have two?" she asked. TOM: WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A QUESTION IS-- > "You mean tails? TOM: Oh. {Huff huff} MIKE: Calm down, man. Breathe. > I don't know." > "Is that bad?" pondered Vixie. CROW: [Tails] "Only when I have an itch." > "No. I can fly with them." Tails smiled proudly. TOM: How? If he keeps spinning them, they'll eventually twist into each other. MIKE: It's, um, like a bumblebee... CROW: Bees spin their stingers to fly? > "Oh, cool!" she said. > Tails was beginning to like Vixie. CROW: Ooooooooooo... > In fact, her darker red fur was >very appealing. CROW: Wow! > Like Bunnie, she had a little tuft of hair between her >ears, which made her look at least twelve. TOM: For the first time, hair on your head can make you look *older*. > "How'd you get caught..uh.." > "Tails, call me Tails." MIKE: "I have no idea why I'm called that." > "...Tails." > "Robotnik tricked us into a mission to destroy a power plant." he >paused for a moment, CROW: Rebooting. > "How did you get caught?" Tails wondered. > "Robotnik was getting ready to Roboticize my parents, with Zip and >Annie's. He didn't seem to notice us escape, TOM: [Tails] "You escaped already? Then how did you get caught in the first place like I asked??" > until we got caught in a heat >duct." MIKE: [Tails] "Oh, is that why you're all red?" > "Why didn't he just Roboticize you three?" wondered Tails. CROW: [Vixie] "We have Fanfic Luck!" > "He said that we would need a little extra punishment for >postponing the inevitable. So he shoved us here." the vixen answered. > "That's too bad." > "Yeah..." MIKE: And the conversation... just... teeters out, then... > The group of Freedom Fighters walked on inside the maze. TOM: They followed a pencil point drawing a line in front of them. > Tails >held Vixie by her hands and lifted her in the air. CROW: A bit early in the relationship to be showing off, isn't it? MIKE: Oh, c'mon, they've known each other for at least... a minute and a half. > As the rest of the fighters walked on, Annie tugged CROW: Erf. > on Zip's arm. > "Zippy? MIKE: Why does that sound like a Jeff Dunham character? > Are Mama and Daddy gone?" she asked. > Zip looked down at her little sister. "Yes." > "When will they come back?" she persisted. TOM: If '7th Heaven' was made of a cast of anthropomorphics... > "Annie, they're not coming back. MIKE: "They're *dead*! DEAD!" > Robotnik roboticized them." > Annie sighed heavily for a six year old hedgehog. TOM: Y'know, by six years, rodents are actually quite old. > Sally and Sonic had watched the whole thing, and Sonic held Sally >a little tighter as they walked. CROW: [Chanting to himself] Don't say it. Don't say it. MIKE: Thanks. > Soon they came upon a fork in the maze. TOM: [Johnny Carson] Then get to the Shlauson Cutoff... > One of the forks was lined >in red, and the other yellow. CROW: Ketchup and mustard. > "Which way, Sally-girl?" asked Bunnie. > "Well," said Sally, taking out Nicole, "Let me try to see which way >is safer." MIKE: "Nicole has a way of seeing into the future. Have I mentioned that?" > Nicole then proceeded to scan the area. TOM: Sonic's. > "Scan shows sign of heavy bot patrol in the red sector, Sally." >droned Nicole. > "Yellow." blurted Sally. CROW: "`Scuse me. {urp}" > The group moved down the yellow path. > Dulcy was beginning to get nervous. Her claustrophobia was even >stronger now, MIKE: Characterization. > since the yellow path was smaller in height. TOM: Now entering Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. > Antoine, as usual, was worse off than Dulcy. > Suddenly, Zip heard something. MIKE: "Sally, did you just blurt again?" > She began to get ready to juice up, CROW: [Giggling] What? > just >like Sonic, only her feet began to glow. TOM: "OW! FIRE! AAAAAA! OUCH!" > Just then, she darted off ahead of the troupe. CROW: They're a group of mummers now? > She then commenced >to blow away Swat-bots with TOM: The power of chili. > lasers that were attached to the bracelets on >her arms. MIKE: It's hard to believe it, but they came up with a femmy weapon. > It was at that time, that Tails noticed Vixie had a bracelet too. >And he began to fly over the bots, CROW: [Vixie] "No, Tails, they're just for looks! No! AAAAAAAAA!" TOM: {Pow! Crunch! Smash!} > letting Vixie fire from above. TOM: Figures. We hafta leave right at an action sequence. MIKE: D'ohhh. [All leave] [Commercials]