Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog From: coyoteSPAMJAMMER@ACTIVATEDcunning.co.uk (James "Coyote" Calhoun) Date: 2000/04/30 Subject: Re: HELP needed in "Sonic 3 and knuckles"!!!!!!!!!! When asked about the escalating hostility in the totalitarian city-state of alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog, White House Press Secretary Ronald Cheesewaller told CoyoteNet reporter The Chaos Emerald: >To all the people who think SONIC FAN is not fake, go here: >http://somerandomguy.homepage.com/ >Notice similarities in the "prank fic". Question: Does anyone even care about Sonicfan anymore? He's gotten so predictable, I think he writes most of his stories via cut 'n paste. Here, let me save everyone a whole lot of trouble and write the plot for every Sonicfan fanfic, past present or future... Sonic: [runs past] I'm way cool, dude! Rotor: [falls through the roof of the hut] Sonic! There's a "SWAT missel" coming at you! [jumps through the wall, knocking half the building down and killing several random passerby with the falling debris] "SWAT missel": [zooms past and misses Sonic completely] Geoffrey St. John: [gets hit by the "missel" and blows up] Sally: Sonic! Robotnik is doing something totally predictable and stupid! We have to stop him! :-O Sonic: Okay, Sal! But let's have cybersex first! Sally: NO!!!!!!!! >:-( Sonic: Okay. Uncle Bob: [blows something up] FOCK FOCK FOCKING FOCK! FOCK FOCKETY FOCK FOCK? FOCK FOCK! FOCK!!!!!! -SCENE CHANGE- Robotnik: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to blow up the world with a nuclear something-or-other! I don't care if I've tried this plan hundreds of times before and it's failed miserably each time, it's a genius plan! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!! Snively: [mumbling] Stupid fat moron. Robotnik: What? Snively: I said you smell like cheese! Robotnik: Oh, okay. Hmm... that sounds like a... WALKING CONTRADICTION! Robotnik & Snively: [stomp around singing "Walking Contradiction" by Green Day for 20 minutes] Freedom Fighters: [smash into Robotnik's control room] Sonic: Hold it right there, Ro-bloat-nik! We're gonna FIGHT YOU AND FIGHT YOU GOOD! Robotnik: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You fools! You've fallen for my cleverly constructed plan which I have just thought up 15 seconds ago! Bots, surround them! [Several (insert random capitalized words)-bots surround the Freedom Fighters] Bunnie: Oh my hoo-hah stars, Y'all! Look at all o' them bots! Why, some of em are (adjective 1) bots, and some of them are (adjective 2) bots, and some of em are (adjective 3) bots, and some of them are (adjective 4) bots, and some of them are (adjective 5) bots, and some of them are (adjective 6) bots, and some of them are (adjective 7) bots, and some of them are (adjective 8) bots, and some of them are (adjective 9) bots, and some of them are (adjective 10) bots, and some of them are (adjective 11) bots, and heck gol-dang hoo-hah shee-yit fry mah hide y'all, some of them aren't even bots at all!!! Uncle Bob: [throws Bunnie out the window to shut her up] SHUT FOCK THE FOCK FOCK FOCK UP FOCK!!!!! Robotnik: Grrr! Get them! [One poorly-worded 47 page fight sequence later...] Robotnik: What? How did you defeat my latest super-weapon, the SUPERDUPERDOUBLELOOPERbot?!! Blast! Oh well, I'll just have to escape to put my diabolical plans into action some other time! HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAH AHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAH AHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAH AHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAH AHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAH AHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Antoine: [falls over, asleep from waiting for Robotnik to finish laughing] Robotnik: [trips on Antoine and falls out the window, then falls a billion stories to the ground but lands on Bunnie, which saves him (though this won't come up until the next story)] Sally: Hooray! We beat Robotnik! :-D Sonic: Cool, man! Now I can get home and watch Furry Judge Judy! Uncle Bob: [blows up the TV station for no reason] HA HA, NOW YE CAN'T BOY-O!!! [runs off into the distance, firing off his shotgun and screaming "FOCK FOCK FOCK!!!"] Rotor: Oh no! That's the fourth time the TV station's been destroyed this week!!! What're we gonna doi? AIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!! [head finally explodes from his constant over-reacting] Sonic: You sure you don't want to have cybersex, Sal? Sally: RRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH... fine. <:-P THE ENB!!! -- ________________________________________________ CoyoteNet, Inc. ___________ _. | | We can do the innuendo, we can dance )'' | coyote@cunning.co.uk | and sing/when it's said and done we / | | ICQ: 72591655 | haven't told you a thing/we all know _f_)\. | http://coyote.50megs.com | that crap is king, give us dirty laundry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~