Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog From: machhedge@aol.com (MachHedge) Date: 1998/06/25 Subject: [Not really MSTed but kinda...] STORY: Sonic Fights Robotnik {Natasha and Mach enter and sit down} Natasha: I Hope you know what you're doing, Mach. Mach: Trust me Nat, I heard this Fic was good. James: Hey, pass the popcorn. Mach: ZIP??? What the heck are you doing here??? James: Shhh... It's starting. >ATTENTION: This is a good story so no bad coments >please! Mach: Oh, I'll make sure of that. >Author's notes.. >Lord of PEZ is awsome! *James puts a Pez dispenser on Natasha's lap* >Vote NO on Ken Penders! *Natasha sees the pez dispenser and starts giggling uncontrolably* >End of Author's notes. Now onto the stroy! Mach: But, mommy: I don't wanna ride the stroy! >SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK James: Oh, yeah. great flick, Mach. *Natasha still giggling* Mach: How was I suppost to know??? >By SONICFAN Mach: Well. it could be much worse. >Sonics best adventure yet! James: That's debatable. *Natasha finally calms down* >It was a brite midday morning in KnotHole Forrest. The >animals were >doing things like they usually do. Mach: I'm not touching that one. > Rotor was cleaning up >the sprokets James: Your Sprokets are never too clean. >Bunny was repainting the huts and Tails wasx fighting >stuffed bots with >kung-fu. James: Argh, Another fan made character? >Sonic was in his hut drinking a Mountian Due James: And how did Mountan Due get to Mobius? Mach: Plothole, what else? > and >watching TV. Furry Beavis >and Butthead Mach: Huhuhuhuh... Lookit the boobs on that SWATbot... James: Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh.... >was on. "It's like beavis and butthead but >beavis is a rat and > butthead is a dog" Sonic says to the reader. Mach: Where exactly is this Bevis and Butthead show made? James: Plothole productions, no dowt. >Antoinee was in his house jamming to Greenday. Mach: How pathetic. James: Hmmm... Furry Greenday? Both: Nahhh... > Just out >of nowhere rotor jumps >into the room! Mach: Boingy! >Sonic looked around his hut. "Sonic!@" saidrotor. James: Sonic at where? Mach: Saidrotor? James: That's a typo. Mach: Yeah, It's suppost to be sadrotor. James: The Sprokets weren't clean. That always gets him down. >"Look >out a SWAT-missel is >going to hit you!" James: Yes! an action sequence! Woo Hoo! >Sonic said "WHA?" and loooked out the window. A swat >missel was going to hit >him! He jumped out of the hut and ran around the missel. >Soon it smashed >into a tree and blew into a million peices. James: That's all?? Mach: Don't feel bad. James: *Sniffle* Mach: Dangit! See that you did, SonicFan? You hurt his feelings! >"Woah close one dude but I made it ok" he said (sonic) Mach: Good. It wasn't Green Day again. >ROtor said "Bye" and left. >[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: Hey.. neato... It's a fade-type-thingy. James: I can do that: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: Don't do that. James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: Stop, James. James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: DANGIT! That's REALLY getting annoying. James: Fine, fine. >Meanwhile in Robotroptolis James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: James, please don't. James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] *grabs the popcorn and wips it at James* James: HEY! >Grr Mach: He's not the only one. >said Robotnik. >"I hate it when missel misses!" he said, also Mach: Say THAT three times fast. >"THis is your fault!" he said to Snively. >"no no sir!" he replied! >"Packbell" James: Yes, that's his name. >"Yes sir?" >"Kill sonic because snively is too dumb to be able too!" Mach: Well, you see, That's gonna be a problem. Robotnik: Why? Mach: Oh, never mind. >"Yes sir" >"What a fat" said snively, under his voice. Mach: That's the best you can come up with? >[][][][][][][][][][][][][] James: Hehehehe... Mach: Don't you start! >3 or four days later back at knothole James: What, you're not sure? Mach: Guy can't even keep his timeline strait. >Sonic is chatting with Sally on IRC James: > I luv u sal ;) *Three SEGA reps come in and beat the snot out of Sonic* > Awww ;) > no ;p > you are buetiful James: I REALLY hope that is a complement. > ok we ave cybersex *Mach laughs so hard that he falls out of the seat* Mach: Wagh!!! James: I say, old chap, we 'ave Cybersex here in IRC? > *MachHedge sets mode +b *!*@*.SonicKnothole.com > Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!! > Hey! Who set you Op? > *MachHedge sets mode +b *!*@*.SallyKnothole.com > I'm furry... Huhuhuhuhuh... James: Now that that's done... Mach: Let's move on, shallwe? >JUST THEN ROTOR BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR IN EMERGENCY! James: And the ironic bit of that is HE'S gonna be the one that fixes the door. >Rotor: Sonic look out we are under attack by 1000000 >SWAT BOTS! Mach: Well, bend over and kiss your butt goodbye, because that's all the time we have left. >Sonic: Ok i got it covered James: I'd hope so. >Sonic runs to the bots "Yo dudes whats up?" Crow: The sky? Tom: The leaves? Mach: Umm... guys, this is the wrong MST. Bots: Oh, sorry. >Swat bots: DRRRROOOONE, Both: SUUUURRRRRGEEEE! >WE KILL HEDGEHOG #1 PRIRORITY James: Uhg... discover fire... bring meat for family. >Sonic said "You drone alot bots" Mach: Wow, what an incredible taunt. >Just then Sonic spinned around and around killing half >the bots. James: OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED THE BOTS! BASTARDS! >The other half tried to shoot him but sonic pulled out a >power ring Both: SUUUUURRRGEEEEE!!!!!!! > and >turned into super sonic easily killing the rest with no >effort. James: Do you thik that the bot-killing process was hard? Mach: I'm not convinced... >"well" said sonic "looks like 0 to me hmmmm your >counting is bad Rote" Mach: *Mock laughter* It's just one grerat wittisisim after another. >Sonic goes back to watching TV >Robotik appears on the TV! James: GASP! >"Hello my name is Dr. Robotnik I have taken over the >TV station no one can >stop me ha ha ha ha." Mach: My sentences don't even stop. they just keep going and going. >"No way Fatnick! Let's get ready to rock!" said sonic Nick: *From Mach's pocket* I AM NOT FAT! >Sonic was talking to Sally "We gotta stop Robotnuk!" Mach: Robotnuk? James: yeah. He's a big fat guy with sharp knuckles that can clinb walls and stuff. >Tails says "Can I go too Sally?" >Sally said "No you are too little robotnik and his bots >would kill you or >robotosize you" >-----WARNING if you are offended you should not read >this neck part---------- James: JOY! Mach: Sonic and Sally are going to neck? >"FOCK YOU SALLY!!!!!!!!!!!" SCREMED tails Mach: Goodness. Fock? FOCK YOU JAMES! James: Oh yeah? FOCK YOU MACH! Mach: Whatever. James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: Oh, not again... >--------Ok kids you can look now :)---------- >Sally kicked Tails "BAd Tails don't say >that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" > Sally Kicks Tails. (Banned) >Tails said "I am mad now I hate you!" Mach: >Sonic said "oh no but we have to stop Robotnick's TV >plan! Let's go!!!!!!" Mach: What is his TV plan? James: Evil TV dinners? Mach: 24 hours of Ed Sullivan? James: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: Argh, that's getting annoying. >Sonic was at the Tv station fighting bots that were >jumping off the antenna. >Tank-bot attacked towards sonic. Mach: His aim was so bad that he merely attacks TOWARDS somone. >Sonic jumped flipped >and spun in the air but >tank bot was too fast. James: You'd think that a TANK bot would be slow. Mach: Well, it says that It's fast, so it's fast. James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: Oui... > Just then sonic ran up the wall >and tank bot hit the >wall. SOnic laughted at the funniness of this. Mach: Even the characters think this is funny. > Then he >went into the tv station >Robotnick was there doing the robotnik show Mach: SonicFan should have put the disclamer here. >"Dooo doo doo this is tnhe robotnick show we will be >pack arfter the messages >doo doo doo BUY KEN PENDERS *Meanwhile Bill Gates is reading this* Bill Gates: Hmmm... That's not a bad Idea. > now back to the show doo do >doo its the robotnick >show our guest today is >"SONIC????????????????????????????????????????" Both: SONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >"Yes" said Sonic >Sonic fought snively first. Armed with a laser gun >snively shot at sonic but >sonic beat him good. Mach: It was good? James: It was good. > Next was packbell. He shot rockets >at sonic but sonic >jumped out of the way and kicked him down anyways. >THen Robotnick hit the >button. Mach: BUM BUM BUMMMM!!!! *Toilet flushes* Robotnik: Oops... wrong button. *Robotnik presses the right button* > The lasers were aimed at the blue blur. They >would kill him and his >friends! What will happen next! >Stay tuned for PART 2! James: It's over? Mach: {Whew} >Just kidding but sirousley tit's time fro a commerical >brake. Both: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! >Wheel be right back (I hope) >COmmercial >Ken: Hello this is ken penders i hate sonic because i >draw his comics. James: That's a perfectly good reason, isn't it? Mach: YEAH! > I really >suck why dont i just kill sally BANG Mach: And there was much Rejoising. Both: *Dully* Yaaaaaay. > she died now i'll >do a crossover of sonic >and mR rogers ha ha ha ha ha i am evil. Mach: Robotnik invades the neborhood! James: O/~ Oh, won't you be my Evil Robotic slave? O/~ >No back to the show, >Sonic escaped a stickey situaton but there was more in *Mach watches as the lezers fall into the plothole. >store for our hero. >RObotnick produced a bomb from his sleave. "Ha ha ha" James: That had to hurt. >said he. >Sonic kicked robotnick knocking him out the window. Mach: And there was much rejosing. Both: *Dully* Yaaaaaaay. The >lardish doctor fell >5000 story's to his death. But as Tails later noted he James: There's 5000 of these storys????? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mach: Agh! >was not really dead. >Sonic ran out of the building just in time. The bombs >fuse ended and.... >SNAP CRACKLE POP! Mach: CEREAL BOMB!!!! >THE BOMB EXPLODES!!!! >There goes our tv shows >said sonc Mah: Hmm.. that's all he cares about? Jams: I guess so. >[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]] >Sonic and friends had to blow up the robotik crystal >mine. >"Y'all." said Bunny Mach: That's all? >"these is soem weird crystals some of em are blue and >some of em are red >and some of em are green and some of em are purple and >some of em are yellow. >Some are squaree, otrhers are triangle. >Heck all y'all some of em arent even crystals at all!" >Just then they all gasped in horror. Mach: Some of the crystals aren't crystals! That's horrible! > The biggest bot in >the world suddenly >appeared with its guns aimed at the freedom fighters. >"Nooooo!" >Antoinee quipped "Ze bot es BEEEEG!" Mach: He's... a... GENIUS! >SOnic and Sally attacked the bot. The bot blew up taking >the mine with it. Mach: Mine. James: No. Mine. Mach: MINE! James: MINE!!! Mach: MINE!!!!!!!!!! James: Fine yours. Mach: Thankyou. James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] Mach: Argh. >[[[[[[[]]]]]] >Robotnik was watching this on camera. >"That hedgehog is a walking contradiction" Mach: I fail to see the logic in that. James: You're telling me. > he said. >Snively said nothing, neither did packbell andthen >They all sing "Walking Contradiction" by Greenday Mach: No, I'd rather not. >[[[[[[[[[[5 years later]]]]]]]]]]]]]] >It was the last battle with robotnick. All of mobiuses >freedom fighters had >gathered at Kothole to discuss the plan. >"Here is the plan" said Princess Sally "We sneek into >Robotropolis and sonic >you fight the bots while we blow up the death egg" Mach: Brillant! James: No way for it to fail!! >Sonic walked thrugh the woods with sally. >"Umm sall what about that cybersex" *Mach once again laughs untill he falls off the chair* >[[[[[disco music]]]]]] >bow-bow-chicka-bow-wowp-chika-chika-bow-bow >Tails: Funky! (dances) disco fever! (sees sonic and >sally) OoOopS!!! sorry Mach: That was pointless, no? James: That was Pointless, YES! >The troupe arrived at robotopobis. They stormed the >death egg. >It was and exciting battle but the freedom fighters won >in the end. Mach: Wow, the whole battle is... so DETAILED! James: It's like you're really there! >Back at Knothole celebration was in order. They >discussed how to fix the >TV station Mach: Wow, Five years and it's still down? >and antoinne danced and Chis Petrucii sang >the song of the Death >Egg battle Mach: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! >Sonic was on a mission dark >to defeat the evil doctor >but he beat him >like he did >and no one was asunder >thunderrr... >SONIC! SUPER SONIC! >he is the hero of our day >SONIC! SUPER SONIC! >let's all say hooray >lats all say hooray >Bookshire wept at the heartstrung plucking of the *Mach wept because of the total stupidness of the song* *James wept because of the big chunk stuck in his eye* >guitar. >Tails made up with sally and gave her a hug. Mach: FOCK YOU SALLY!!! James: FOCK YOU, MACH! Everything >was A-OK. >Just then 50 million missels, a million swat bots and >the entre robo brigade Mach: All there missles and such come from WHERE? James: Plothole, where else? >were attacking Knothole. RObotnick showed up, holding >the off button. Mach: Off button to what? The Fan? The grage door? This Fic? (Pleasepleasepleaseplease) > Only >he had the power to stop the attack. Sonic put on his >cybersuit. Mach: Props for this Fic are supplied by Plothole props. > Robotnik walked >into rotors invention hut James: what, was he lost? >sonic followed behind him. >They were both in the >hut sonic attacked with fists of fury! Mach: HEY! I LOVE that game! > POW! BANG! >SHABOOM! BOOM! KABLAMO! >[[[[[[]]]]]]]] >[][][][][][][] Mach: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] James: [[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]] >"I hope you had the time of your liiiiiiiiife" sang >Greenday. >THE END >Hope you liked my story! Sorry about any spelling >errors. Mach: Hey, It's over... *Natasha Wakes up* Natasha: Wha? What did I miss? James: The movie. *All get up to leave* Natasha: Oh, ok. Mach: Hey Nat, whanna go home and have Cybersex? James: FOCK YOU MACH!!!!!! THE END Note: The views expressed by Mach, Zip, and Natasha do not reflect the views of the author. Zip, James, and Mach are (c) New Cross City Productions. No harm was ment in the MSTing of this Fic. This wan't an insult to SonicFan, simply that this story was an insult to Sonic Fans. No animals were hurt in the filming of this MST. Mach H. Hedgehog, Pointless thingy of the un-determined amount of time: "It's not the Heat, it's the stupidity" -David Letterman