Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog From: John Will Date: 1998/07/20 Subject: Re: Sonic Fights Robotnik 4: Meet Dr. Quack Heehee, just thought I'd join in the fun here with three of my chars... Okay, this isn't really that funny, but my sense of humour has gone as bad as my breath, and this is my first attempt at MSTing something... I stayed up till 2:00 in the morning last night working on this... Zantiro: *Yawn* So what movie are we goin' to see? Furgess: I dunno. Something about Sonic fighting Robotnik. Kerri: Is it good? Did Siskel & Ebert finally agree on something? Furgess: Um, I think reviewers have called it "a piece of crap that took 5 minutes to write and 10 minutes to shoot." So, yeah, I'd say they agreed on something: that it sucked. Zantiro: Can we go home now? Furgess: Shut up, we've got to do this MST. >LEGAL STUFF----------- >All characters like Sonic and stuff, fetured in this >story are copyright of SEGA and Archie Comics. Other >copyrights like Beavis and Butthead and Mountain Due Furgess: Hm, I've never had Mountain Due before, I'll have to try it sometime. > and >Greenday are copyrights of other companies. Zantiro: Oh, great, more Green Day. I mean, they're cool and all, but when's he gonna realize that they've got no place in a Sonic fic? >THe author >of this story does not intend to imply ownership of >anything or anycharacters in the following story Kerri: WOW!!! Did you see THAT?! Zantiro: What? Kerri: Sonic Fan's IQ went up 10 whole points in 2 minutes!! >End of LEGA STUFF---- >The epic series continues with another one of the >greatest sonic stories ever written Kerri: Whoops, guess not... Furgess: When will this series ever *end*?! When will he stop plauging us with this crap?! Make it die... >SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK 4 Zantiro: Why are movie sequels always so bad, yet so irresistable? >Meet Dr. Quack >It was another day in knothole city and like many days >it was a good day. Kerri: It was a good day because we decided to do this MST. Furgess: And *boy*, it's a good thing we did... >Bunnie was fixing the sproket wheels >with rotor, Zantiro: But, unfortunately, neither of them knew how to fix the sprockets and they exploded, killing both of them. The end, let's go home. > Sally was organizing the freedom fighter >picnic and Sonic was jamming to Greenday in his hut. Furgess: *groan* More off-planet references. He might as well be listening to "Little Brown Jug". Kerri: If he mispells "Green Day" one more time... > "Ah >yeas a fine day indeed" thought rotor as he acidentilly Zantiro: Tripped over a shovel. >dunked a sproket in coffee and bit it "Ow" he said. Zantiro: (Homer Simpson) "Mmmm...purple..." ><<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>> Kerri: He really has improved. He changed his little pattern and made it all pointy. Furgess: Which isn't necessarily an improvement. >Robotropolis >A Wooden Shack Zantiro: Since when is Robotropolis a wooden shack? >"Hmmm" said Roobotnik, "Well Robotropolis got blown up >so we have to stay here until we can repair the city" Zantiro: We've got that plothole repaired, sir. >Then Scratch pushed a button and it launched a SWAT >missle. >"You blithirig ditiot!" said Robotnik Furgess: He was still getting over his cold. > "That was our last >missile!" >"OOp heh hheh" went Scrotch Furgess: Or maybe Sonic Fan is just suffering from a severe case of Typo Syndrome. ><<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>> >Sonic's Hut >Sonic and Tails are jamming to Greenday but Tails trips >over the CD player. Kerri: (Tails) "Help me, Sonic, I tripped over a CD player!" Furgess: Shame on you, Sonic. You shouldn't leave plotholes lying around where people can fall into them! >"Argr" sasid Sonic "Now we have to fix it" >"I know said ails" Tails kicked the CD player "Work you >focking peice of junk!" said Tails Zantiro: Oh, sure. Kicking my household appliances *always* works. I do it *all* the time. >"You shouldn't say bad words" said Sonic Kerri: (Sonic) "Not that you used any..." > ":::looks out >the window::: hey what's that" Zantiro: He turned his head so fast, that his question mark detached from his sentence and went flying out the window. >JUST THEN ROTOR JUMPS THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THE HUT!!!! Furgess: AND LANDS ON THE CAPS LOCK KEY!!!! >"Sonic!!!!!!!!!" says Rotor "Look out a SWAT missle is >headed at us! ahh oh no oh no ahh ahh ahh ahhhhh!" >"No sweat rote I beat those all the time" Kerri: Mainly because Sonic Fan can't think of anything else to write... > sonic said >cooly "I'll just do thje sonic spin and bam bam jucie >time and the missle is dead" Zantiro: I had no idea missles were animate.... >JUST THEN A SWAT MISSLE FLYS IN THROUGH THE WINDOW!!!!! Furgess: AND TURNS ON THE CAPS LOCK!!!!! >"YAAHHHHH!!!" said Rotor >Sonic ran atround but the SWAT missle chased him around. >SOnic jumped behind the couch. Tails hit the missle with >a guitar but that made it mad. Kerri: Then the neck broke off, someone came along and put it onto the body of a Mustang, and made Mobius' first Jag-Stang. > Then it chased after >tails and Rotor threw coffee on it and the missle went >flying at the couch. Furgess: Apparently his notions of a missle defense were a bit quaint. Zantiro: Why did it go after the couch? It's not like the couch threw coffee on it... > Then sonic led the missle into the >closet and closed the door. After a few minutes Sonic >let the confused missle out of the closet and it hit a >tree outside and blew up. Kerri: Couldn't it have hit the door and blew up? Furgess: This is turning into a regular AoSTH cartoon... >"Yo yo missle can't mess with the blue-hog" sadi Sonic >"But you know what thgis means" said Royor Zantiro: Who's Royor? Rotor's twin brother? >"No" said Sonic >"Robotnik is back!" said ROtor >"No focking way man!" said Sonic >"Yeah!" said Rotor >"Well you know what that means" said Sonic Kerri: (Sonic) "It's time to repeat the same story again!" >"Right" said Tailes >"It's time to >FIGHT ROBOTNIK!!!!" Kerri: Yup... Furgess: Well, waddaya expect from Sonic Fan, anyway? >They all said >So they went to tell Sally Zantiro: How old is Sonic Fan, anyway? 6? 4? Maybe even younger? > but meanwhile in >Robotropolis.... ><<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >Wooden Shack, Robotropolis >Robotnik is kicking bot butt! >"You stupid bots" went a robotnik Furgess: A Robotnik? How many Robotniks are there? > "You wasted our last >missle!" >Ow ow ow" goes Grounder "D'oh we not know" >"Ah sir" said Snively >"SHUT UP SNIVELY!" said Robotnik Kerri: (Robotnik) "Can't you see I'm in the middle of an incredibly action packed fight sequence with no descriptive paragraphs whatsoever?" >Robotnik kicks more bot butt! >Scratch gets kicked through the wall of the shack >"Yaddy yadda!" says Scratch >"Ah sir" said Snively >"I SAID SHUTUP!" Robotnik says Zantiro: (Snively) "But sir, Sonic Fan's right outside!" Furgess: (Robotnik) "SONIC FAN?! NOOOOOO!!!! HE'LL RUIN ALL MY ATTEMPTS TO LOOK EVIL!!!!" >RObotnik kicks some Snivley butt! >JUST THEN A SPACESHIP CRASHES RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SHACK! Zantiro: *Don't* say it... Furgess: AND LANDS ON THE CAPS LOCK KEY! Zantiro: *groan* >"Hmmmm did you hear that" said Robotnik >They all went outside to look >The door on the spaceship Kerri: Was all crumpled, and couldn't open. The end, let's go home. >opened >A man walked out >"Hello" said the man "My name is Dr. Quack. I come to >take over planets quack quack" Furgess: Get the straight jacket... >"Hello" said Robotnik "I am Dr. Ivo Robotnik and I am >ruler of this planet but the HEDGEHOG BLEW UP MY CITY!" Zantiro: Some ruler he is if he lets everyone blow up his city... >"Hmmm" said Dr Quack "I seem to be stuck here but if we >work together we can take care of that hedgehog. But I >will require payment" >"Want a deep fried hotdog on a stick?" said Grounder Kerri: It's called a *corndog*, Sonic Fan, perhaps you've heard of it? >"Hmmm yeah" said Quack Kerri: (Dr. Quack) "Oh, yuck!!! What's this disgusting yellow stuff on the outside??? It tastes like puke!!! Oh, well, I like it anyway." >"Mmm I like these I want lots" said Quack >"Good I will give you hotdog on a stick, but you have to >help me kill the hedgehog" Robotnik said >"Ok" said Quack "ATTENTION BOTS! FORWARD MARCH!!!" >STOMP STOMP STOMP >Millions of bots walked out of the spaceship >"Bots are good" Furgess: (Robotnik) "Bots are our friends." > said Robotnik "But that hedgehog is >powerful, he can beat BILLIONS of bots!" >"Muhahahah" said Quack "But I have another weapon, the >MEGA-GEM!" Furgess: I'm surprised that Sonic Fan didn't write another million robots into the story. Zantiro: Yeah, but it would help if we knew what this "Mega-Gem" was, what it does, etc. >"HAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!" said Robotnik, >"Freedom fighters will pay AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!" Kerri: No, instead we get another one of Sonic Fan's feeble attempts to make Robotnik look evil. Furgess: What, you actually thought this story was gonna be *good*? ><<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >Knotohoel Zantiro: Where's Knotohoel? Furgess: It's located somewhere in Typo City. >"Sally!" said Sonic "Robotnik is back!" >"What oh no" said Sally "We have to fight him" Kerri: Translation: We have to relive the same story again. >Sally gathered all of knothole's FF's together >"Attention" she said "Robotnik is back" >They all gasped Furgess: Wow, y'know, this is just *so* well done, I just--wow. I can't believe how good this is. >"We need to fight him again" she said >They all cheered >She sent Tails on a spy mission to Robotropolis Zantiro: As I recall, the last time that happened, he got captured. Kerri: That sentence was pointless enough as it is... ><<<<<<<>>>>>>> >Knothole Zantiro: Um, wait a minute. I thought we were already *in* Knothole. Furgess: No, we were in Knotohoel. Zantiro: Oh, yeah. >Rotor is dunking donuts in the power ring pool >"Hey what are you doing" said Jackerey Prower "Your >donuts will get soggy" >"No" said Rotor "I replaced the power crystal with >coffee crystals" Kerri: (Rotor) "Now, because of my extreme stupidity and OOC-ness, we have enough coffee for all of Knothole! Let's hear it for me!" >"But what about power rings?" said Sonic >"Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh oh no oh no oh no oh no oh >no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no I forgot" said Rotor >"Hey now what will I do power rings won't work with >coffee on them" said sonic Furgess: Um, hang on. Coffee grounds can't make power rings anyway. >"It will be months before we can fix it" said Rotor >"FOCK!" said Sonic "Now I have to fight robotnik without >power rings! Fock you Rotor! Fock you!" Kerri: Yo, Sonic Fan, how 'bout thinking up a less idiotic way to get rid of the power rings? Like having the power crystal break or something? Furgess: We're not supposed to be giving Sonic Fan constructive criticism! We're supposed to be making fun of him! Kerri: Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, I'll do better! ><<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>> >Robotropolis >The cameraman's view is blocked Zantiro: Another example of how shabbily produced this movie was. > but we hear... >BAM! KABOOM! BANG! ZAP! KABAMO! >WHHOOOSH! BADOOOM! KAPOW! ><<<<<<<>>>>>>>> >"AAHHHHHH!!!" went tails >VROOOOMMMMMMMMMM KRRRAAAASSSHHHHHHHHHHH SHHPOOOWWWWWWWW >BOOOOOMMMMMMMMM Furgess: Um, excuse me, but what just happened here? Zantiro: The "cameraman's view was blocked", remember? So all we get is a bunch of cheesy sound fx and no exposition. >Tails ran into Antoinne >Antoinne went "AYe AYe AIEEEEEE NON NON WHA????" >"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" went Tails Kerri: Put them in the psycho asylum too! >"Calm down Tails!" said Sally >"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" said Tails "THERE WERE BOTS!!!" >"How many" said SOnic >"A BILLION MILLION!" said Tails "And there were SWAT >bots and EVIL bots and MONKEY bots and SPIDER bots and >POWER bots!" Furgess: (Tails) "And PINK bots and ORANGE bots and LITTLE bots and BIG bots and FUNNY-LOOKING bots and CHEESE FLAVOURED bots and... and...and...*out of breath*" >"Oh no oh no oh no ho no" said Rotor >Sonic fights with Rotor! >"Cut that out" sally kicks them Zantiro: That's not the way Sally usually breaks up fights... >"AHHH!" said "Tasuls and I was in ahuge fights with them >there was so much action you wouldn't belive!" Kerri: What the? Who's talking here? And who's Tasuls? >"Sacre Blue!" said Antoinne >"And there was a ship! and a guy named Dr Quack!" said >Tails >"Woah new Badnik?" said Sonic >"Sacre Blue!" said Antoinne Furgess: Yikes! He's repeating himself IN THE SAME FANFIC!!!! >"No prob lil bro" said Sonic "I can beat a billion bots >standing behind my back" >"wow cool sonic" said Tails >Sally made a battle plan and showed it to the freedom >fighters "Ok, we go into Robotropolis and fight the bots >and blow up the ship" said Sally Kerri: And just *how*, pray tell, will they do that? >"It's Jammin' Penut butter Jive time!" said Sonic >They went to robotropolis ><<<<<<<>>>>>>> >As soon as the freedom fighters got there an exciting >battle took place. Furgess: This is *EXACTLY* like the parody!!! >Sonic fought some bots! >Sally and Bunnie and Antoinne were shooting bots with >paint guns. >Tails Karatre kicked the bots! >haiiiiyyyayyayYYYYYASAAAAAAA!!!! >And Rotor dismantled a bot Zantiro: Unfortunately, he wasn't quick enough, the bot killed him, and everyone was happy. The end, let's go home. >Sonic was killing bots but then a evil bot was going to >blade his head off! YAHAHHH!! Kerri: An "evil bot"? What other kind of bot is there? >Sally shot it with a rocket launcher! KABOOOMMM!!! >DROONNNNNEEEE!!! >More bots >said sonic >Sonic zoomed and dashed and killed them >"Hey bots don't drone just fight" said Sonic Furgess: Yikes! This story's getting worse by the minute!! We'd better put it on life support... Zantiro: Nothing's gonna help this story... >Then more bots apperead on the horizon >"Don't these dudes get tired" Sonic thought out loud Kerri: How can you think out loud????!!! >Bunnie threw the cybersuit to sonic. Sonic caught it >"ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!" >Sonic put on the suit >DUNN DUUN DUNNNNNN >CYBERSONIC! >SOnic was way past cool cyber style! >Then he fought the bots with Cyberweapons >WHEEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEHEHGUDGUGIOOO!! DROONNNEEEE Furgess: Pleeeeeeeez? It's getting worse... Zantiro: So just shut up and keep making fun of it!! >BOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!! Furgess: (Tails) "Oops, sorry, I had a nuclear fart..." >BANG! Kerri: OOOOWWW!!!! MY LEG!!!! >KRAK!@ >BOOM! >BARG! >JHOT! >ADBN! >EROROTIOROOOOOP! Kerri: Anyone care to explain what's going on here? Furgess: Sonic Fan is just randomly typing keys on his keyboard. "oh, what's this, a bunch of letters? ooh, i wonder what these look like when i put them together..." >The bots are dead but what's this? >WHAT'S THIS??? >WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS!!!!?!?!?!?! Zantiro: Yet another mispelled curse. >Thought Sonic >SNIVELY HAD A CYBERSUIT OF HIS OWN! Furgess: This story appears to be missing a page or two here... Kerri: We must be watching USA Network. >But sonic cyber-punched Snivley first and Snivley went >flying up 500000 feet in the air >"YEeeeaahhhh" said sonic Zantiro: Well, that was pointless. Kerri: But was it pointless? Furgess: AGH!!! Don't start THAT again!!! >After more bot blasting action all the robots were dead, >or were they? >Dr Quack stepped out of the ship >"Quaak quaaak" he said "So Headgehog, quaaack, Kerri: (Sonic) "Yo, man, the name is SONIC!!!! S-O-N-I-C!!!!" > you seem >to have killed my bots waaak wakk quack. Furgess: No, they were evil bots, not waaak wakk quack bots. > But I still >have the power of Zantiro: CHEESE!!! > the MEGA-GEM!" >"The what?" said Sonic Kerri: (Dr. Quack) "The PLOTHOLE!!! I'm going to make this story even more confusing than it already is!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! hack, hark, kaff, kaff..." >"THIS!! quaakk waakkk" said Quack Zantiro: The world's largest disco ball! Furgess: Guaranteed to drive you insane in less than 45 minutes! Kerri: If it's after then and you're still sane, you get your money back! >Dr. qUACK used the power of the MEGA-GEM on sonic. >THE CYBERSUIT BLEW UP!!! Kerri: And then SONIC BLEW UP TOO!!! The end, let's go home. >Quack powered up the mEgA-GEM again!!!!!!!! >"WE GOTTA RUN!!!!" said Sonic >And the freedom fighters ran away back to Knathole Furgess: ...and were eaten alive by all the gnats. The end, let's go home. >"QUAAKAKK QUAAACKK QUAAAAAAAACK HA HA QUACK!" said Dr. >Quack >"Whew," said Sonic "Well at least we killed all the >bots" >"No we didn't sonic I noticed that there were a lot more >bots we didn't fight" said Tails Kerri: A-HA!!! He DID write another 700 million or so robots into the story!!! >"Oh well" said Sonic "I'm hungry I need a chilidog!" ><<<<<<<<>>>>>>>> >We'll be right back Zantiro: Quick! Change the channel! ><<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>> >Hi there. We're back. The scene is Knothole villiage. >Sally is planning the next attack while Rotor and Sonic >are arguing Kerri: Back to business as usual. >"Hey assmunch!" said Sonic "You were lazy all you did >was dismantle a bot while I was killing millions of >them!" >"I was getting some chips out of it ok?" said Rotor Furgess: (Rotor) "It was only to build another useless invention that wouldn't work. I know, all I do is sit on my fat butt all day making stuff that never works, but, y'know..." >"Fock you rotor" said sonic "You're a chicken BOCK BOCK >BGAAAWK!" >"Go fock yourself" said Rotor >Sonic went back to his hut >"Stupid Rotor" he said "Putting coffee in the power ring >pool" >Sonic grabbed his guitar and played the Rotor Sucks Song >You can sing along! (or not) Furgess: Um...nooooo.... Zantiro: Rotor doesn't suck. Sonic Fan just has him acting OOC. >ROtor Sucks! >Rotor Sucks! >He so stupid >He just sucks! >He's to fat! >Rotor Sucks! >Walrus face >Rotor sucks! Kerri: The first song in history to be written in only 7 seconds! Furgess: Which doesn't neccessarily mean it's a GOOD song... >Then Tails walked into the hut "Hey sonic what are you >jamming to?" he said >"Just a song about how rotor sucks" said sonic >"Yeah but Rotors smart and he knows stuff" said Tails >"Yeah I guess you right" said sonic Zantiro: And Tails' word is instantly taken as gospel truth. >Sonic made up with rotor and they gave hi-5's and were >freinds again. Kerri: YES!!! I KNEW he was going to mispell "friend" eventually!!! ><<<<<<<<>>>>>>>> >Later.... >"So rotor" said Sonic "How can we beat the MEGA-GEM?" >"To beat the MEGA-GEM we need and ANTI-MEGA-GEM said >Rotor "But I don't know where to find one, Furgess: (Sonic) "And just HOW did you come to this idiotic conclusion, Rotor?" Zantiro: (Rotor) "Why, easy. Sonic Fan couldn't think of an original way to end this story, oh no." Kerri: This story has an END? YAAAAAAAAAY!!!! Um, so when is it, exactly? >"Maybe my uncle, Rabbi Prower, knows" said Tails >"Who?" said Sonic >"The guy who owns the Knothole Kosher Deli" said Tails Furgess: (Tails) "They specialize in Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls!" >"Woah that place must have always been there but I just >didn't know that it was there" sonic said Zantiro: (Tails) "Really? Me either! Oh, well, I guess you're right, it isn't really there, so we'll have to think of something even more dumb." >"Let's, er, juice n' jam, i think" said Rotor >"RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said >sonic ><<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>> >Knothole Kosher Deli >They walk into the Deli Kerri: and Tails has another explosive fart. >"Hiya Unc!" said Tails Kerri: (Tails) "Whoops, sorry 'bout that, I'll just leave now, heh heh." >"Hello, it is my nephew Tails, what do you want today?" >said Rabbi Furgess: (Tails) "I want this story to end!!" >"I was kind of wondering if you know anything about an >ANTI-MEGA-GEM" said Tails >"An anti mega gem?" said Rabbi "Well let's see you can >find the great crystal of Zgghgotoytin in the ice caves >up north" Zantiro: (Rabbi) "Which is located somewhere in the Wonderful World of Random Key Mashing." >"Wow thanks!" said Tails >"Now either buy something or get the fock out of my >deli" said Rabbi Kerri: (Tails) "I don't think I want any overalls, thanks..." ><<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>> >Robotropolis >The robots are rebuilding the city >HI HO HI HO IT'S OFF TO WORK WE GO >DROONE DRONE DRONE DRONE DRONE DRONE DRONE DRONE >HI HO >HI HO Furgess: AAAAAAGH, NOOOO!!!! Kill us with Wizard of Oz references, I don't care, but not "Snow White and the Seven Dorks"! ><<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>> >Knothole >DUNN DUNUNUNUNUNJUN DUNN DUNNN!! >DUNN DUNN! >DUNUNUNUNUNUN DUNNN DUNNNN! >DUNNN DUNN!!!! >DUN NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUN! Zantiro: Hang on, is this another fight sequence? Kerri: Kinda looks that way, don't it? >DUUUNNNNNNNNN DUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! >DARRRNARRRRRR!!! WHEEEOOOOOOOOOO >DUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUN!!!! >DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Furgess: No, it looks more like we came back to the start of the movie. Kerri: Really? Oh, no... >BOOM BOOM BOOM-BA-DOOM! >Sonic and the band were having one last jam session Furgess: Right before they died. >before Sonic Tails Rotor and Antoinne left to get the >crystal. Zantiro: And I suppose they were playing "Rendundant" or some other such song. Kerri: In a story like this, it would fit. >Sally and Bunnie were preparing more rocket lunchers. >"Yo sal see ya ROUND!!!!!!!" said Sonic >BZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! they zoomed off ><<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>> >A feild >"Doo doo doo" said ROtor "I'm walking >along...WWOOOOOAQAHHHHH!!!!" >They all fell into a hole Furgess: Um, okay, so what was the point of that scene with Rotor singing like a retard to himself? >"Hey I can't see" said Tails >Just then A VOICE SPOKE >----WARNING MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!------ >"Hey , want some yiffy vixens?" said the voice Zantiro: (Sonic) "Well, no, but thanks for asking!" >------OK KIds back to apporpiatre content! :)------ >"Huh huh that would be cool" said sonic Kerri: What the? I thought Scratch and Grounder were supposed to be the equivalent of Beavis & Butthead... >"Just go into that room" said the voice >A door lit up >"heh heh that's right in there....*DRONE*....er i >mean..." said the voice >"Hey WAIT!!!!" said Sonic "It's a robot! This is a >trap!" Furgess: Oh my GOD...a robot lured them into a trap with *yiffy vixens*? Zantiro: Well, after all, Sonic seemed a little yiffy, too, if you ask me... Kerri: ZANTIRO!!!! >"Nooo!" said the voice "You have to go into the room of >death!" >"Fat chance robo-brane!" said Tails >JUST THEN THE LIGHTS WENT ON >And they saw... Furgess: Clichéman!!! >ROBO-PROWER! >"Ha ha ha FIGHT TIME!" said ROBO-Prower Furgess: Yup... >BANG BANG FRAHFHS ROOOOOO >HA DOOO KEN!!!!! Zantiro: Do Ken Penders? *ugh* no thanks... >BANG HOOOIIII >THE lights went off Kerri: But only because Sonic Fan had to think of another way to get rid of his descriptive paragraphs. >CRRRUUNNNCCHHHHHHH SCREEEEEEEEEEEECCHHHHHH KAAAABLAM!! >KABLOMO! GLOOP! SPLOSH! SPAKKK!!! WAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! >ORP! >FYIE! OOOORRRRGHHHH!!! >GRAKKAA GRKKA! Kerri: Yup... >CREAK CRAK CRAK!!! >SNAP! >CRACKLE! >hey where's pop Furgess: This is pathetic... >POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!! Furgess: (Tails) "Oh, no!!! My farting has evolved to the next level!" >!!!!!!!! >tHEN tHE liGHtS WeRe BACk On >"Wow what an exciting battle!" said Rotor >"Oui!" said Antoinne Zantiro: (Rotor) "And thanks to the magic of Bad Writing, none of us has any idea just what the hell happened!" ><<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>> >The Ice Caves Kerri: What, it's just "The Ice Caves" now? What happened to "The Ice Caves of Glkhjdafopjncdoicdnlkadcnjopiadjholadhadpi" or whatever the hell it was? >"Well let's go in" said Sonic >They went in and slipped and slided through an ice maze >WHEEEE said Tails as he slid down a steep hill >Tails fell into a pit Zantiro: And became a stain on the ground below. > but since he could fly it didn't >matter >Rotor fell in the pit too Kerri: And joined Tails on the ground. > but antoinne helped him out >After much struggle they reached the crystal >Sonic grabbed it >BUT THEN THE CAVE STARTED TO COLLAPSE AND A GIANT ICICLE >WAS SLIDING AFTER THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS! Furgess: IN AN ATTEMPT TO KEEP THE CAPS LOCK DOWN FOREVER! >"ahhhh" said Rotor >They all jumped on sonic and sonic ran and ran and Furgess: Disneyland suddenly landed on him. >SLIPPED ON SLIPPERY ICE!!! >WahahhhhhH!!! Will we make it!?!? Zantiro: I HOPE not... >Sonic escaped just in the nick of time! >A resounding phew echoed from the group >CLIK >But then thousands of bots Kerri: Were suddenly written into the story. pointed their lasers at the >freedom fighters >"UH OH!!! >" said sonic ><<<<<<<>>>>>>>> >They're in big trouble now! Furgess: So what was the point of that pretty little pattern? Was it a commercial break or something? Kerri: Now I KNOW we're watching USA Network... >"HHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!" said RObotnik "Hedgehog on ice I like >it HAHHAHAHAHHAAHHHA" >"QUAAKK QUAAAAAK" said Quack "ME TOO!!! >HAHHAHHAWUAKHAHAHHAH QUAK HAHHAHAHA WAAAAAKKKKK!!!!" Zantiro: They must get tired after all that maniacal laughter... >"Give me the crystal!" said Quack! "Now!" >"No no no!" said Sonic >"SONIC!" whispered Rooter Kerri: Who was Rotor's fiftieth cousin. >"I have a plan" said sonic "You guys run NOW!" >They ran. Then the bots looked at them and Sonic jumped >on his snowboard Furgess: Which somehow found its way into the story. >The bots looked at sonic giving the other freedom >fighters time to hide! Kerri: (Sonic) "Uh, why is everyone staring at me like that?" >"DAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!" said Ropotnik Zantiro: Ropotnik? Furgess: Sure, he's got a pot-belly, don't he? > "GET THAT >HEDGEHOG!!!!!" >The SWAT bots chased sonic, they had hover-skis, hover- >snowmobiles and hover-tobbogains Kerri: Which had also suddenly been written into the story. >Sonic was snowbaording down a cliff and he hit a jump. >2 SWAT bots on snowmobiles hit the jump too and crashed >into each other in mid-air! Furgess: Sorry, but the only way that could have happened was if Sonic had jumped in between them or if they failed their driving test 15 or so times. >Sonic went around trees and the tobbogain swats ran into >them >Fire and bot parts were a-flyin' Kerri: And Robotnik was a-cryin'... >"Wonky juicin jam time!" said sonic as he did a flip in >the air Zantiro: Sonic has such gay sayings... >Some bots tried to do this on their skis but they landed >on their heads Kerri: Oh, right, like doing tricks would be their first priority. >The snowmobile bots were shooting at sonic but they >missed >Robotnik and Quack were in the helicopter shooting at >sonic but they missed too >"He is fast!" said Quack Furgess: He catches on to that just now? >Grounder and Scratch were chasing sonic on their zamboni >"Huhuhuhuhuhu!" said Grounder "Eat lead!" >Grounder shot the zamboni's machine gun Zantiro: Boy, that thing's got everything, I wouldn't be surprised if they've got a vending machine in there somewhere... > at sonic, just >barely missing him >"Hhehehehehehheh" said Scratch "You suck Grounder!" >"Shutup Dillhole!" said Grounder >Scratch kicked Grounder in the nads Kerri: As far as I know Grounder has no nads... >Then the zamboni fell off a cliff >KABOOOOOMMMM!!! >Sonic went over another jump and slammed a Mountain Dew! Furgess: And became the star of their newest commercial. Zantiro: That would be pretty cool, actually. >"Grr" said Robotnik "Send the TANKbot after him!" >BUMM BUMM BUMMMMM >TANKbot mark III >The TANKbot was made for Snow travel and it quickly >caught up to sonic and fired missles at him. Kerri: Right. Like this big, bulky tank type thing can catch up to him. Furgess: Of course, he was distracted drinking Mountain Dew... >"Woah woah WOOOOOHHHH!!!" said Sonic >Then Sonic was headed straight for a cliff! >TANKbot stopped but sonic kept going and went right off >the cliff! >All the bots stopped to look off the cliff >THen Dulcy Zantiro: Was suddenly written into the story. > flew up. Sonic had landed on her wing. Sally >and Bunnie were on Dulcy too, and they blew all the bots >away with their rocket launchers. >"Hey Sal," said Sonic "How did you know I would be >here?" Kerri: (Sally) "Easy. You have fanfic luck!" >"Oh I just did" smiled Sally >They picked up Antoinne Tails and Rotor and escaped back >to Knothole Furgess: With no one trying to stop them. ><<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>> >Knothole >Sonic was eating 500 chili dogs Zantiro: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!! HE'S GONNA BLOW!!!!!! >"All that action makes hedgehog hungry" said Sonic Furgess: (Sonic) "I have to eat all these so I can blow Robotnik away with a little 'jet-propulsion'!" >MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH >"Well time to go fight robotnik" said Sally Kerri: Not again? >"Yep" said Sonic >"All right" said Tails Furgess: Oh, no... >. >. >"JAM JAM WHAM BAM JUICY JAM ZAM!" went sonic's battle >cry >ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kerri: Hey, everybody! Let's all go to the zoo!! All: YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! >!! ><<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>> >Robotropolis >An explosive battle took place, Sonic fighting without >his cybersuit, but the rockey launchers made up for >that. >Bots got killed, but the EVIL bots were harder to kill >than SWAT bots and the MONKEY bots were agile Zantiro: And the CHEESE-FLAVOURED bots tasted good. >"Boy I hate new bots" said sonic, while running fastly >After the battle the bots were dead and the freedom >fighters were in the Death Egg. Furgess: What the? Did it just form around them or something? >"Face the wrath of Zantiro: CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!!! > my MEGA-GEM!" said Dr. Quack >Sonic used the crystal on Dr. Quack and Kerri: It didn't work and he killed them all. The end, let's go home. > the MEGA-GEM was >destroyed and Dr. Quack was frozen. >Then Bunnie kicked robotnik in the head and pounded on >his skull with her metal arm >"Ow ow ow ow cut that out" went Robotnik Furgess: When suddenly, he deflated like a balloon. >Just then Robotnik pushed the emergency aLarm and more >bots came running out to his aid. >The bots grabbed Bunnie and threw her at the freedom >fighter's they get knocked down! Kerri: (singing) I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down! >Tails walks over to the audio control terminal, puts in >a CD and blasts Greenday music. Furgess: Why? So they can dance while they're fighting? Zantiro: Green Day doesn't make very good dance music... >Then sonic and sally and tails and rotor and antoinne >fought will all their might and killed the bots but >robotnik had escaped, but Bunnie was injured Furgess: (Sonic Fan) "I wonder how many more sentences I can jam into this one!" >"no" said rotor All: YES!!! >"We have to get back to Knothole NOW" said Sally >So back they went Kerri: And awaaaaaay we go... ><<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>> >Knothole >Bunnie said "Ow y'all I ahm seein stars, y'know some of >em are blue and some of em are yella and some of em are >green and some of em are purple and some of em are cyan Zantiro: Damn test pattern... >heck y'all all some of em aren't even stars at all!" >"Are you alright Bunnie" said Doctor Prower >"Yeh heck y'all" said Bunnie Furgess: (Bunnie) "Naw, y'all better put me in the insane asylum, too." >"Well we beat robotnik again but he will attack again" >said Sonic >"That I can agree with" said Rotor >"Hey Rote how are the power rings" said Sonic >"They work now but they taste like coffee" said Rotor Kerri: (Rotor) "They're really good, here, try one." >"Don't worry I won't eat them!" said Sonic >Everybody laughed ><<<<<<<>>>>>>>>> >Robotropolis >"Huh hhuh huh" said Grounder "That sucked" >"You stupid bots!" said Robotnik "This was all your >fault!" >"Uhhhh...like, no it wasn't" said Grounder Furgess: Yeah, I agree...they didn't really do anything other than fall off a cliff... >"Heh heh heh YEAH! heh heh" said Scratch >"Your right, I guess it was....Dr. Quacks fault" said >Robotnik >"He is cryo frozen" said Robotnik "But I don't think I >will be unthawing that imbicile any time soon. Speaking >of idiots, where's Snivley?" Zantiro: Speaking of idiots, where's Sonic Fan? ><<<<<<<<>>>>>>>> >Knothole >It is Christmastime at knothole villiage. All the >animals are sitting down to the Christmas Dinner. Kerri: I'm surprised that there's only one spelling of Christmas, and it's the right one... > Uncle >chuck is just about to carve the turkey when..... >SNIVELY'S DEAD BODY FALLS THROUGH THE ROOF AND LANDS ON >THE TABLE! Furgess: I've lost my appetite... >"Oh no Christmas is runined!" said Sally >"YOU FOCKING BASTARDS!!!!" said Tails >Sally kicked Tails in the head "Don't say that!" >Sonic sighed "Juicy jam peanut butter no more" Zantiro: Anyone up for some PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES? ><<<<<<<>>>>>>> >Robotropolis >"This time *I* had the last laugh!" said Robotnik >"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!" ><<<<<<<>>>>>>> >THE END All: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!! >If you want to read more good storys like this one, read Furgess: *collapses on the floor in a fit of uncontrollable laughter* >the other Sonic Fights Robotnik storys >Sonic Fights Robotnik >Sonic Fights Robotnik 2: The next Battle >Sonic Fights Robotnik 3: Too Fast for the Naked Eye Zantiro: And he posted the first one, oh, about a *week* ago? >Look for them on your favorite sonic website Kerri: Yeah, right...like anyone's gonna put them up... > if you >can't find them just go to www.dejanews.com and search >for "sonic fights robotnik" Furgess: Um, no? Zantiro: Wait, let's find them so we can MST them! Furgess: Oh, yeah. >Any questions Kerri: Yeah, I've got a question: Were you dropped on your head as a baby? > comments flames Furgess: I've got a couple hundred flames from a.f.s-h here...not that you'd pay any attention to them... > or requests for reposts of >previus storys Zantiro: One can only hope no one *wants* to see them again... > or stuff just email >soniciscool@yahoo.com ><<<<<<>>>>>>>> Furgess: Translation: Coming in 10 seconds! >The Next Chapter in the SFR series! >Sonic Fights Robotnik 5: The Good Snivley Furgess: I thought Snively was DEAD!!! Kerri: Oh, goody! More MSTs! Furgess: Let's get outta here. Zantiro: Hey, Furgess, got any popcorn left? Furgess: No, and even if I did, I wouldn't share with you! *All leave*