Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog
From: jsolano199@aol.commyass (JSolano199)
Date: 1999/01/22
Subject: [Cheap MST] Sonic Fights Robotnik 7: Blue Streak Speeds By

Sorry for the delay, but it was too long to do on the spot. It was transferred 
to MSWorks and done there. 

And now, Jose Solano's Cheap MST- 
(Jose runs from angry mob of AFSHers, throwing vegetables at him) 

Austin: Hey- What are we still doing here? Weren’t we band from the newsgroup. 
Scott- Banned. Yes, we were, but Solano keeps bringing us back from the dead to 
annoy 
everyone. 
Jamie- What are we watching today? 
David- Let’s see... Sonic Fights Robotnik- 
Austin- NO! I REFUSE!! NO!! 
David- ...7- Blue Streek Speeds by! By... 
Everyone else- SonicFan. We know, we know. 
David- Ok. We know the drill... 
Jamie- What drill? 
David- You know, Austin, turn lights down, Scott fire up the projecter, Jamie 
get the 
popcorn. 
Jamie- Hey...how come you never do anything? 
David-I’m the main character, I don’t have to. 
Austin- Hey! I’M the main character! 
David- No, I am! 
Scott- None of us are! Just shut up and I’ll start the fic... 

<<Hey hey hey. Welcome to what I hope will be my masterpeice fanfic. Or at 
least the most 
masterpeiceful one until I write another fanfic.>> 

David- Huh? 

 <<"huh?" you say.>> 

David- Psychic, huh? 

<< Nevermind. Time to start the fic, but first, of course the.... 
LEGAL STUFF>> 

Jamie- I’m wondering if he actually has consent to used copyrighted 
characters... 

<<----------- 
Time for, of course the LEGAL STUFF. Let's start off by saying Sonic is 
copyright SEGA 
and 
archie comics. The other sonic characters are copyright archie, fanfic 
characters like 
Packbell and FX ferret are copyright their owners. Packbell copyright David 
Pistone.>> 

Scott- Well, technically anything related to Sonic is automatically propery of 
Sega. 

<< The portrayel of these characters in this story does not necessarily reflect 
their true 
character. 
Other things like mountain due,>> 

Austin- NOOO!! NOOOO!!!! 
<< pee-wee herman, greenday, tina turner songs, other songs and 
in fact any song you see in this story is DEFINITELY NOT a copyright of SONIC 
FAN and 
is, 
instead copyright their respective owners. In other words, SONIC FAN does not 
mean to 
imply 
ownership of ANYTHING or ANY CHARACTERS or ANY PART of the following 
story.>> 

Jamie- The way he rights and forces his interests on Sonic makes it seem like 
just the 
opposite. 

<< Since SONIC FAN doesn't own any copyrights to this story and, doesn't even 
own the 
story, technically, you can 
do what ever you want with this story. Just don't try to sell it for money.>> 

Austin- DAMMIT!! 
<<----------- 
END OF LEGAL STUFF>> 

Jamie- Hey, I just noticed- He used a spell checker! 

<<Now letts get onto teh strory!>> 

Jamie- Nevermind. 

<<BUT FIRST 
The.... 
PREVIEWS>> 

Austin- Yeah! Previews!! Alright!! 
David- CALM DOWN! 

<<---------- 
Looking for a little peace and quite? 
***KKKABBBLLAMMMOOOOOO!!!!!!*** 
Dint think so>> 

David- Dint thinks so about what? Who’s Dint? 

<<Celine Dion Singing: Sooonic the hedgehog>> 

Austin- Why Celine Dion? Why not Busta Rhymes or Marylin Manson? 

<<He fights 
ROOOBOTNIK 
and fights him GOOD>> 

Jamie- (sniff) Leo... 

<<trumpets: (waah wwwaahhhh waaaaahhh waaahhh) 
He fights him reeeally goooood 
SONIC 
Fights Robotnik! 
(wwaaaah waaaah waah) 
ROOOOBOOOOOTNIIIKKKKK 
(waaahh waaaaaaaah) 
He fights him so goooooood!!!>> 

David- Ok, this is getting really old really fast... 

<<(wwaaaaahh waaah waaah waaaah waaaaaaaaah) 
FIGHTING ROBOTNIK AND FIGHTING  HIM GOOD 
THAT IS WHAT SONIC DOOOOOEEEESSS 
(clips from Sonic fights Robotnik stories) 
(Sonic spin dashes 1000000 swat bots) 
(Sonic blow up the death egg) 
(Rotor falls through the roof of the hut) 
(Sonic snowboards down a mountain being chased by swatbots) 
(Sonic freezes Dr. Quack with the anti-mega-gem) 
(Sonic drives a golf cart through the mall) 
(Sonic flys a jet through a building) 
(Sonic eats a chili dog) 
The 
SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK SERIES 
[[[[[[]]]]] 
Sonic Fights Robotnik 
Sonic Fights Robotnik 2: The Next Battle 
Sonic Fights Robotnik 3: Too Fast for the Naked Eye 
Sonic Fights Robotnik 4: Meet Dr. Quack 
Sonic Fights Robotnik 5: The Good Snivley 
Sonic Fights Robotnik 6: The Final Chapter!>> 

David- Who’s stupid enough to read that? 

<</\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ 
Avaliable for download at http://members.xoom.com/SONIC_FAN 
If the site is still down try http://www.dejanews.com>> 

Scott- If being the keyword. 
David(Sonicfan)- Duh...look at my we site..duh...I think it went away... 

<<Sonic says "PAST cooooL">> 

Austin- cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL! 

<<Space..... 
The Final Frontier...>> 

Scott- NO! NOT STAR TREK! ANYTHING BU STAR TREK!! 

<<These are the voyagers of the Starship Enterprise 
And now they don't have to wait to see Star Trek: Insurrection>> 

Scott- STAR TREK SUCKS!! 
Jamie- Scott! Calm down... 

<<Because they can read.... 
(Star Trek: The Next Generation theme song plays) 
STAR TREK: Alien Attack!>> 

David- Ooh.. 
Scott- Can we skip this, PLEASE?! 

<<Long Boring Star Trek Preview>> 

<<And now our feature presentation>> 

Austin- What?! This hasn’t even started yet?! 

<<SONIC FAN presents>> 

Austin- Why? Go away! We don’t need Sonic Fan! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

A SONIC FAN presentation>> 

Scott- A bit redundant, aren’t we? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Ay, their after me Lucky Charms! 

<<Of a SONIC FAN fanfic>> 

David- Get to the fuckin story already!! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK 7 
Blue Streak Speeds By 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Sonic the Hedgehog! something something.. Sonic! He can really move...I 
forgot... 

<<(On TV) 
Tonight on FOX>> 

Jamie- Well, prepare for torture... 

<<The World's Deadliest Moments of Death Caught on Tape 7>> 

Austin- Is it alright if I go somewhere else? 
David- No. If I get tortured, the rest of you get tortured! 

<<Announcer: Hi I'm Hendrik Hagaloo, former officer of the mobius police dudes. 
Boy it's 
great 
to be derobotocized.>> 

Scott- I’m sure it is, Hendrik. 

 <<But that's thanks to people like sonic. Here's a clip from his action 
packed battle. 
(WHOOOSH!) 
(Black and white fuzzy camera footage) 
Hendrik: This is the robotik crystal mine where the final battle of mobius took 
place. As you 
can see here, Jackerey Prower gets killed.>> 

Jamie- Ok, I want some clarification- Who the hell is this guy, and didn’t 
Tails have no 
family? 

<<(A hoverunit falls on Jackerey) 
Jackerey: O.h.....F..>KC!!!>> 

Austin- I prefer Churchs. 

<<Subtitles: Oh fock!>> 

David- We can read SonicFan! 

<<Hendrik: But here's the REAL deadly part. Watch as the Chaos beast drills 
into the 
ground. 
Watch carefully now. 
(Huge explosion blows everything up)>> 

David- End of story. Can we leave now? 

<<Hendrik: It looks like Mobius just got blown up. But...not quite. 
Hendrik: The chaos beast didn't eat the core of mobius. That would be too big 
and hot! It 
only 
ate the crystal core of the crystal mine! The mine runs on crystal power you 
see. So only the 
mine blew up. And with the exception of Jackerey... 
(replay clip of Jackerey getting squashed by hoverunit) 
Hendrik: The freedom fighters survived and saved mobius.>> 

David- Watch Jackery come back sometime soon... 

<<(the camera pans away from the TV and over to the couch where Uncle Chuck, 
Sonic, Dr. 
Quack 
and FX Ferret are watching TV)>> 

David- Dr. Quack is evil right? 
Scott- He joined them last time, remember? 
David- No. 
Scott- David, do me a favor and stop smoking pot behind our backs. It’s ruining 
your 
memory. 
David- Who says it’s behind your backs? (inhale) ah... hey..what the...this 
isn’t bud! This is 
a Tomato leaf! Austin, I specifically told you... 
Austin- They were sold out! 
(David pucnhes Austin) 

<<Uncle chuck says "Hello gentle reader. Welcome to antoher action packed sonic 
fanfic. 
Contrary 
to the ending of Sonic FIghts Robotnik 6, mobius didn't really blow up, just 
the crystal mine. 


Scott- Explanation! 

<<Everybody on mobius was really derobotocized though, and now mobius is back 
to 
normal just the 
way it was before robotnik took over. Robotnik is dead and gone for good now, 
and now it's 
a 
FREE MOBIUS">> 

David- End of story. Can we leave now? 

<<"yaay" says Sonic, Dr. Quack, and FX Ferret. 
"Well I gotta leave now" said Chuck "I'll just say one more thing. We have no 
idea of what 
happened to all those chaos emeralds. I'm off now, I'm doing the introduction 
for Saban's 
presentation of MacBeth." 
Uncle Chuck leaves. Then FX Ferret says "Well dudez, see you later. Now that 
the war here 
is 
over, I'll just be headin' on back to the communication center. You guys are 
gonna help us 
fight our war, right?">> 

David(Sonic)- Fuck no! Fight your own damn war! 

<<"Oh...uhhhh....yeeah" said Sonic "We'll....aahhhh....catch up with you 
later....ummmm....yah....thats right">> 

Jamie- Sonic, no more crack for you... 

<<FX Ferret blasts out the door singing "Action Ferret! FX is his name! Saving 
the universe 
is 
his game! Tra-la-la-la!">> 

David- That was...disturbing... 

<<Sonic opens a mountain due. "Yup" said he 
"Nothin to do but drink mopuntain due and watch TV" said Sonic>> 

David- Yup, let’s all just kick back, relaz and drink some mopuntain due. 

<<Dr Quack replied "QQUUUACCKK WWWAAAKKK QWUUUACCKK i agree">> 

Jamie- I vote we drop that guy fro the series. Who’s with me? 
.... 
Jamie- You’re right, we have no choice... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- It’s Lucky! After his Lucky Charms!!! 

<<The GReat Lake (In the Great Forest)>> 

Scott- We are GR..GR Troopers! 
Austin laughs. 
Austin- Scott, man are you gay! 

<<Rotor was sitting in his fishing boat. He gets out his portable TV. 
"This is the life" says Rotor "Just casually relaxing. a-yuh.">> 

Jamie- Ok, what does that last word mean? And who’s he talking to if he’s by 
himself with a 
portable TV? 
David- Remember- This is SonicFan. 
Jamie- Ah. Thanks for clearing that up... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Ay! Their after me Lucky Charms! Time for some Rainbow Magic! 

<<Konthole Kibbage 
er..oops 
I mean 
Knothole Village>> 

Jamie- it’s not funny when you do it on purpose. 
Scott- Hey I just noticed- Jamie’s talking more than usual, and David’s pretty 
quiet. What 
are you two hiding now? 

<<Tails was having a romantic evening with Amy Rose. They were on a date and 
Tails 
said.. 
"Hey let's go steal some cookies!">> 

Jamie- Yeah, reeaaaaal romantic. 

<<Amy Rose said "Yeah Sallys chocolate chip cookies are way past cool">> 

David- Does everyone have to say that?! 

<<"WAY WAY past cool" said Tails 
"Cool past WAY" said Amy>> 

Austin- Uh... am i the only one who doesn’t get it? 
David- For once, yes. 

<<Tails looks in the window of the food hut. "Hmm coast is clear" says him. 
Tails jumps in 
the 
window. Amy follows.>> 

Scott- But Knothole windows are too small to be jumped through! 

<<Tails opens up the cookie jar and shouts "WOOAHH!!! THE 
MOTHERLOOOOAD!!!!!!!!" 
Tails starts stealing cookies when Amy Rose says "Hey Tails lookat this" 
"Cool" says Tails "It's Sally's credit card.">> 

Jamie- I see where this leads. Now I’m getting the urge to get up and leave... 

<<Let’s go buy some stuff" said Amy>> 

David(Tails)-Like what? 
Jamie(Amy)-You know...stuff... 
Scott- But there aren’t any malls on Mobius! 

<<"Cool idea!" said Tails "We can buy some stuff from a mail-order catalog!">> 

Austin- Victori- 
David- Austin, remember Alessandro’s rules. 
Austin- Aw... 

<<"I just got the latest Mad Eddy's catalog">> 

David- Madd Eddy? Almost as bad as Dirty Al’s pawn shop. 

<< amy said "They have everything in the universe 
there!">> 

Scott- That’s impossible! The whole universe can bearly fit it! 

<<"JAMMIT TO THE MAX LETS GOOOOO!!!" said Tails>> 

David- Why do they all say such gay phrases? 

<< jumping out the window and knocking over 45 
plates.>> 

Scott- And getting a bruise on the forehead from trying to jump through a 
window 1/6 his 
size... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Ay, ladies! Hearts Stars and Horshoes, Clovers and Blue Moons. Pots of 
Gold and 
Rainbows, and me Red Balloons! 

<<The Great Lake 

Rotor is just sittin around in the boat. Suddenly an almost unoticeable look of 
alarm crosses 
his face. 
"Walrus Face, rotor sucks!" sings the memory of Sonic singing the Rotor sucks 
song. 
Rotor shakes the thought off and trys to remember what he was alarmed about.>> 

David- Then Rotor gets an urge to kill- but he’s too fat and lazy and just sits 
back down. 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Ay! Stop trying to steal me Lucky Charms you damn American kids! 

<<Tails's Hut 

David Prower says "Hello Tails/Amy ROse.>> 

David- See? Jackery dies, now it’s me..er...David. 
Jamie- i sometimes just say “Hello David (slash) Austin.” Does that mean Tails 
and Amy 
Rose somehow fused together? 

<< I hope you are not engaging in any indictable 
activities, hmmmm?">> 

David- As a matter of fact, we were about to get drunk off our asses and have 
an all-night- 
Dammit! I’m talking like Austin now!! 

<<"Fock off Dave" says Tails 
"Is David Prower another one of your uncles?" inquires the reader. 
"No" responds tails "He's my robotic brother, who was NOT created by sonic fan 
by the 
way. 
This character belongs to somebody i forgot the name of, but I'm pretty sure 
his first name 
was dave">> 

Scott- Ey-Kins? or Gonter- 
Austin- Don’t. I had a nightmare about him last night. I don’t want to talk 
about it... 

<<"Thanks for clearing that up" says the reader. 
Tails and Amy look through the Mad Eddy's catalog.>> 

Jamie- So what was the point of David Prower? 

<<"Hmm" says Tails "Let's see....20 tons of urbanium....no.....A B4 stealth 
bomber...nah.....the 
welches grape juice kid....no way man.......Holographic replica of Chef 
Boyardee....ummm.......hmmmm.....naaah" 
"Here's something!" says Amy "Look at this" 
Tails reads the article "VIDEO: Sailor Moon: American Kitsune! A David Kintobor 
production. >> 

Austin- AH!!! NO!! KEEP IT AWAY! HAKJGDSYFSTYA!!! 
David- Calm down! He’s going into Randomtype-iac Arrest! Get the Cheetos! 

<<The controversial miniseries that was so bad, even the writer/director hated 
it! In fact he 
hated it so much that he tried to destroy every remaining copy of it. But you 
can get it here, 
at Mad Eddy's! Starring David "Foxfire" Kintobor as David "Foxfire" Kintobor.>> 

David- I’d buy the B4 Stealth Bomber. 
Astin- (wheeze) I’d buy the hologram of (cough) Chef Boyardee... 

<<Co-starring Sean 
Connery as Edward Berecca. Buy it today! Only 10 cents!">> 

David- I’d buy THAT for a dollar!! 

<<"Cool!" says Amy "Let's buy it!" 
Tails dials up Mad Eddy's. 
(phone) 
(ring) 
(ring) 
(pickup) 
Ralph: Hello! ANd welcome to Mad Eddy'S! Bwa ha! Bwhahahah!! woo-hoo! I Eddy's 
helper RALPH! 
You want to buy something? Bwa! bwa ha!>> 

David- At leas it’s not Dirty Al... 
Scott- Now Davids talking and Jamie’s quiet. What the heck is going on?! 

<<Tails (high-pitched voice): Hellooo! My name is Mrs. Sally! I have a credit 
card I want to 
buy 
item number 76428sb284828-vb023481nsdh2837241abbaxx72dt.3992982845222222 
Amy (in background): I was supposed to talk, NUCKLE-HEAD!>> 

Jamie- You’d think anyone who calls himself “Sonic Fan” would know how to spell 
“Knuckle”. 

<<Ralph: Hmmm! You do not sound at all like a sally but i belive you anyway! 
Happy? 
Bwa. ha. 
hahahhaha! WOOHOO! Ok let me see....You want Sailor Moon American Kitsune! 
AHAHAHHAHAHAH!!! 
Good choice! Ok that is 10 cents. BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!! It is discount week! 50 
percent is off 
on that! WHoo-hoo bwa! Price is 5 cents! Happy? Bwhahahaaaha... 
Tails: Ok my credit card number is 123456789 
Ralph: BwA HA-HO-HOHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Ok sir BWA HA you order 
HA HA HA BWHAHAH will be sent 
to you in WOOO-HOOOOO!!! six to BWHAHHAHAHAH HHAHAH!! HAHHA 
BWAHH!!! HAHHAHA!! 8 BWHAHHAHAHHA   
BWA HA BWA HA BWA HA!!! weeks. GVoodbye! Plese call again for more orders 
HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHAH 
BWA HAHAHHAA!!!!!>> 

David- Remind me to kill Ralph, SonicFan, Gonterman, Self. 

<<(click) 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Ay! You yankee bastards have pushed me too far! I curse all of ye! Not 
even me 
Lucky Charms (part of this balanced breakfast) an save you! HAHAHA! 

<<Sonic's Hut 

(On TV) 
Pikachu: Pika! Pika chu chu chu! Pikachu! Pika pi?>> 

Austin- No! Pikachu must die!! 

<<(In Hut) 

SOnic drinks more mountain due. He eats some chili dogs. Dr Quack says "Sonic 
how can 
you eat 56 chili dogs?" 
"THose are just snaks i'm saving the real eating for later" says Sonic 
"You are focked up man" said Quack "QUUUACKCKKKK!!!" 
Sonic sits and watches TV.>> 

Jamie- Fortunatly, he and Sally were invited to Jerry Springer to debate. The 
topic- My 
boyfriend’s a lightning-fast fatass. Gasp! I said Fatass! I’ve sunk to South 
Park scum... 

<<"Do you hear something QUUUUACCKKKK???" said Quack>> 

David- It’s called a duck. 

<<"Yeah" said SOnic "The TV">> 

David- Yeah, a duck on TV. 

<<Sonic sits and watches TV. 
JUST THEN ROTOR DRIVES A BOAT THROUGH THE DOOR OF THE HUT!!! 
***SMMAAASHHHHH***** 
VRROOOOOOMMMM!!!! 
The rotor of the boat chops up most of sonics furniture. 
"OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO!!!" says Rotre 
"wha?" says Sonic 
"SONIC!!!!!" says Rotor "Turn to channel 77 RRRRIGHT NOW!!!!!">> 

Scott(Sonic)- You just fell on my hut and chopped everything to bits, and you 
want me to 
watch TV...well.. yeah, I would have done that anyway... 

<<"AAHHHHHH!!! OK!!!!" says Sonic 

(On TV) 
(click) 
(Some place) 
Robotnik: Uhhh...hey man.....uhh.....Ivo's not here man... 
SWAT bot: DRRRROOOONNNNEEEE hello...I..AM....ON....T-V (waves)>> 

David- So? Robo Shlobo’s on TV. Big whoop! 

<<(Sonic's hut) 
"OH no!" says Sonic "It's...." 
BUMM BUMM BUMMMMMM 
"QUUUUACCCCCKKKK!!!! ROBOTNIK?!?!?!?!?" says Quack (very loud) 
"YES!!!" says Robtor "OH NO OH NO OHNOOHNOHONOHO >> 

David- 
OHNONONOHONOOHNOHHOOOOOONHNHONNNNNHONHNHOHNNOOOOOO 
NH!! 

<<Robonik!!!Robobonik!!! Hobobobonik>> 

Austin- Hobo Robotnik! COming soon to your Toys R Us store! 

<<NNOOOOOOO!!!!" 
"ROTOR! CALM DOWN!" says Sonic "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!" 
"Now" seys sonic "Stop destroying my hut! Why don't you use the focking door 
like a 
normal 
person?!?!?" 
"I did" says Rotor>> 

David(Rotor)- It’s just you built the door on the roof. 

<<"ARRGAGRGGGAGRGRGGGRGRGGAGAGAGAGA!!!" says Sonic, jumping in the 
toilet.>> 

Jamie- one word, Sonic- LAXATIVE! 

<<"Sonic!" says Rotor "If that was all I had to tell you I wouldn't have driven 
my boat 
through 
your door. But there is something oh-so-very important you must know" 
"What?" said Sonic 
"A SWAT MISSLE IS GOING TO HIT YOU!!!!" scemeard Rotor 
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" said Sonic 
*****KRRRAAASHHHHH***!!!! 
A SWAT MISSLE flys in through the wall!>> 

David- And then they lock it in the loset! Then they let it out, and they hose 
it down with 
Lemon Juice! Then they pour salt on it! It’s deactivated! SONIC FIGHTS 
1000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Bots! Sonic kicks butt!! Sonic- 
Jamie- CALM DOWN! 

<<"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" says Sonic 
Sonic runs around real fast and trips over a chair. Quack jumps out of 
seemingly nowhere! 
"Ha ha!" says Quack 
Rotor attacks the missle with all his might! 
"Hugguza!" says Rotor!>> 

Austin- AH! Evil Fat Aunt’s Hug! Run before she kisses!! 

<<Dr. Quack does some ninja Tai Chi and says "Konichiwa! Usagi! Hentaaaaaai!" 
Rotor sceams "AAHHH lookout the missleisgoingtohityou!!!! 
ohnoohnohohnhohohnohnhohooooo!!!!" 
Dr. Quack bites the missle!>> 

David- And detonates it, blowing up Mobius. End of story, can we leave now? 

<<"Good show!" says Sonic>> 

Austin(Quack)- Show?! I just broke my lower jaw!! 

<<Quack tosses the missle to sonic. Sonic catches it a slams it down the 
toilet! 
"TOUCHDOWN!" yells sonic. 
Rotor jumps for the flusher! 
*FLUSH* 
The missle goes down the toilet!>> 

Scott- Um no. A Missile (Yes, spelled MISSILE) is too big to fit into a 
conventional toilet, 
thus- 
David- Shut up. 

<<"GET DOOOWN!!!" yells Sonic 
They all jump behind the boat.... 
5 
4 
3 
2 
1 
****KAAAABLAAMOOOO!!!!**** 
The toilet explodes! It rains toilet water inside the hut!!!!! 
"Phew" says Sonic "That was close" 
"WUUUAK! Now we can relax" says Quack 
"NOOOOOOO we can't!" screams rotor "We have to tell sally that Robotnik is BACK 
and 
BADDER 
THAN EVER!">> 

Jamie- Why? She’s probably already a hostage. 

<<"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" says Sonic 
They all jump into the boat 
"We gotta get to SALLYSHUT!" scremes Sonic>> 

David- Sallyshut? What did she shut herself into? And Sonic, stop screming, 
thats nasty. 

<<Sonic puts the boat on full throttle. 
"Juice time" says sonic, way-past-cooly 
***VVRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM***** 
****SSSMMMMAAASSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!******* 
The boat crashes throuh the back wall of the hut!! 
"QQUUUAAAAAAAACCKKKKK!!!!" yellls Quack>> 

Austin- AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUSTTTTTTIIINNNN!!!!! 
David- No. 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Me Rainbow Magic isn’t enough! Bubba, get thse darned kids away from me 
Lucky 
Charms! 

<<Robotropolis 
The Death Egg>> 

Scott- Stop using the Death Egg! Does Sonic Fan even know what it does?! 
David- Does anyone else? 
Scott- Good point. 

<<Floor 14 
The Main Control Center 
2:05 PM est.>> 

Austin- On the Superstation! 

<<"Ha ha ha" says Robotnik 
"Yes sir, indeed. We are evil" says Snivley 
"Huhuhuhuhuh" says Grounder 
"HEheheheheheh" says Scratch>> 

Jamie- NO! SONICFAN MUST DIE!! 

<<"Boogie Fever!" says Coconuts>> 

Scott- Uh... was that supposed to be funny? The unpredictability of Sonic Fan 
is actually 
working in a negative way. 
David- (blink) Shut up. 

<<Packbell walks into the room. He sings "The Rockefeller Skank">> 

Jamie- And I thought my dad had bad taste... 

<<Packbell sings "Check it out now, the funks yo' brother. Right about now, the 
funk's yo' 
brother" 
Coconuts gets down.>> 

Scott- Ok, tell me: What was the whole point of this little musical interlude? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Ay! They killed Bubba! Those kids wont get me Lucky Charms!! 
David- Shut up already! 

<<Knothole Villiage>> 

David- Wait- Their going to have the Villiage People here, aren’t they? 
Austin- Gonna stay at the Y-M-C-O! It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-O-O!! 

<<****VVRROOOOOMMM**** 
"YYYYEEAAAHHHHGGGGHHHH!!!!!!" yells Rotor 
SOnic is driving the boat.>> 

David- Well thats good. Sonic sucks at driving. SOnic is pretty bad too, but he 
knows left 
from right. 

<<"Driving a boat on land is past cool!" says Sonic "Way past cool!">> 

David- Past gay! Way past gay!! 

<<The boat flails all over the place 
"QQQUUUUACCCKKK yeeeee-haaaaww!!!" says Dr Quack. 
****CRRRAAASSSHHHH**** they go right through the wall of Antoine's coffee shop! 
"SACRE BLUE SSHHHEEEEEEEZZZZEEEEE!!!!" says Antoinne>> 

Jamie- Does EVERYONE own a restaraunt now?! 

<<The boat smashes several table and hundreds of coffee mugs CRRAASHHH They 
exit 
through the 
front window!!!!!>> 

David- Why? Why not kill Antoinne in the process, the as the leave through the 
BACK 
window, they kill Antoine! 

<<**VRRROOOOMMM**** ***RRRR****** ****VRRMM VRRRMM 
VRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!**** 
They're grindin up the dirt!!! WAAAHHHAAAAA!!!!! 
"AAHHHH LOOK OUT!!!" yells Rotor. 
They hit a ramp it launches them into the air!>> 

Scott- A ramp, conveniently just there. 

<<"WHEEEEEE!" they all say. 
****KKKRRAAASDHHHHHHH*** 
they smash right through the roof of Bunnie's Casino!! 
"HECK YALL WHATS THE ALL?!?!" says Bunnie>> 

Jamie- Not restaraunts, now Casinos! It just gets worse and worse~ 

<<The boat smashes more stuff and the rotor shreds 78 decks of cards. Then the 
boat crashes 
out 
through the front door, crashes back in through the front wall and crashes out 
again through 
the bathroom wall. Going through the bathroom the boat manages to destory all 
the toilets, 
stalls and sinks.>> 

David- Sonicfan has a little emphatuation with bathrooms, doesn’t he? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Ye leave me now choice! I’ll have to use me Chain Gun! 
David- Shutup!! 

<<Sally's Hut 

Geoffry St. John says to sally "Princess Sally, you are like the most beutiful 
apple on the 
most beutiful apple tree in the world" 
"Oh Geoffry" says Sally 
Geoffry kisses Sally. 
AND THAT'S WHEN THE BOAT COMES CRASHING IN!!!! 
****KEEEERRRRBOOOOMMMMM!!!!!****>> 

Jamie- Hey- if you took all those cheap sound effects out, the story would be 
80% shorter. 

<<The boat completely destroys the interior of Sally's hut. 
"TURN OFF THE MOTOR!!!" yells sally 
"WHHAAAAAAT?!?!" yells sonic 
Sally jumps into the boat and turns off the motor. 
"SALLY!" yells sonic 
"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN" says he "BUT ROBOTNIK IS BACK!!!!! WE HAVE TO 
FIGHT HIM!!!!">> 

Jamie- So, Sonic yells out “SALLY! NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! BU ROBOTNIK IS 
BACK!” does he mean the Robotnik thing or the fact that he trashed her hut? 

<<"Wait......" says Sally "How can Robotnik.....be....back. How could he 
possible.......be......back.....?">> 

David- Because Sonicfan wrote him back in. 

<<"ok" says Sonic "Well remember I said HEY ROBOTNIKS not dead and you said yes 
he 
is and i said 
let's go check Roboponotolis and you said WE ARE NOT GOING BACK THERE and then 
I said FOCK and 
i watched TV well ROBOTNIK is not really dead if you dont belive me just turn 
on the TV . 
THe 
point  is we gotta FIGHT ROBOTNIK!!!! FIGHT ROBOTNIK!!!!!!">> 

Scott- But first we have to bare down to our speedos and wrestle our manly 
selves to the 
ground! My name is “Stone Cold” now! 
David- hey, leave wreslting alone! 

<<"To the robotik crystal mine!" suggests Geoffry.>> 

David- Where do all these characters come from?! 

<<"FOCK THAT!" says Sonic "We're goping to the robotik crystal mine. It's 
obvously the 
first 
place to start the battle against robotnik">> 

Scott- Goping- is that like a new dance move or something? 
David-Shutup. 

<<"SONIC!!!" yells Rotor 
"What" says SOnic 
"DID it ever occur to you that *I'M* the one who has to make the repairs to 
Knothole?" says 
Rotor 
"Ya" says Sonic "That's your job." 
"grrrr" says mad rotor.>> 

David- Coming soon to a toy store near you! Also look for depressed rotor, and 
even the new 
wank rotor! The rotor Collection, now available in- 
Jamie- Shutup. 
David- That’s my line. 
Jamie- That was getting annoying. 

<<"Well" says Sally collecting her throughts "Let's go to the mission room to 
discuss a plan 
of 
attac.." 
"NO TIME SALL!!!!" says SOnic "WE GOTTA ATTACK THE MINE NOW, PLAN OR 
NO PLAN!!! EVERYBODY GET 
IN MY BACKPACK I'LL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY!!>> 

Scott- Thanks to the miracle of cheap writing can we now fit the Freedom 
Fighters into one 
backpack! Only $19.95! 

<<!!!! TO THE ROBOTIK CRYSTAL MIN!!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!">> 

David- To the mint? What? Hey, I’d rather get some change than fight robotik 

<<***ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!****** 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 
Austin- Me Lucky- 
David beats the crap out of Austin. 
Jamie- Do you have to be so rough on him? 
David- It’s the only way he’ll learn. 
Jamie- No it isn’t! He keeps doing it even after you beat him! 

Jose Solano 
---------------- 
"Bizarre? Yes. Weird? Yes. Pointless? Sometimes" 
          -Mach Hedgehog 

Coming Soon: Jose's White Trash Can 
 Home of the Pikachu Death Gallery!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog
From: jsolano199@aol.commyass (JSolano199)
Date: 1999/01/24
Subject: [Cheap MST part 2] Sonic Fights Robotnik 7: Blue Streak Speeds By

<<Meanwhile on the Planet Moogria...>> 

Scott-...What? 

<<Foxfire Studios 
10 PM moogrian time>> 

Austin- NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 

<<David Kintobor was pouring gas on a film reel. He lit a match and set fire to 
it. 
"That's the last one" he said "The last copy of Sailor Moon: American Kitsune. 
Now, 
hopefully, 
peopl;e won't think that I make bad fanfix">> 

David- A little late, Davey-kins. Hey, SonicFan, his last name isn’t Kintobor, 
it’s 
Gonterman! 

<<Then Edward Berreca walked into the room. 
"Hey man" said Ed "I was just looking at the latest Mad Eddy's catalog.">> 

David- Oh yeah, that old thing. It’s up my ass somewhere. 

<<"Mad Eddy's cool" said Dave. 
"Anyways, they're selling copies of SMAK (sailor moon american kitsune)" said 
Ed 
"Hmm......wait........WHAT?!?? ARRRGGAGAGGAGAGGAGAARRRR!!!!" said Dave, 
kicking himself in the 
ear.>> 

Jamie- Ow, I didn’t know Davey-kins was a contortionist. 

<<"NOO NOO NOOOOOO!!!" said Dave "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" 
"We must destory them!" says Dave triumphantly "To the Krokett-mobile!" 
They go to the garage. The Krokett-mobile, the galaxy's most advanced starship 
is there. 
Dave 
jumps in, Ed follows. 
"AAARRRRGGGGG!!!" says Dave "Where'd the keys go?!??!" 
Dave gets out and tears apart Foxfire studios while looking for they keys. 
Dave gets back into the starship. 
"Heh, they were in my pocket" said Dave 
Dave starts the starship!!! 
***putt*** puTT*** 
*KOUGH* 
"C'mon START BABY!!!" yells dave>> 

Austin- Sounds like you need VIAGRA! 

<<*PUTT* *PUTT* 
*VVRMMM** 
VRRMM*** 
****VRRROOOOOMMMM!!!!***>> 

Austin- That did the trick! 
Jamie- Austin, you truly are sick. 

<<"Set course for Mobius!" says Dave 
"Ok" says Ed 
"Make it so!" says Dave>> 

Scott- Star Trek AGAIN?! CUT IT OUT!! 

<<***CRRAAASHHHH**** 
The ship flys through the roof 
**WHHHHOOOSSHHH** 
off they go!!!! 
into spacee!!!!!>> 

David-Whoa, that’s a relief. For a minute i thought they had gone off into 
space! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- Die ya little American Brats! Eat me bullets! 

<<The Robotnik Show 
(this episode is being shot in a cave with crystals on the walls) 

Announcer-bot: Doo doo doo doo doo....IT'S THE ROBOTNIK shoooooow! 
Announcer-bot: Tonight LIVE from the RObotik crystal mine! With guests Robin 
Williams and 
Tank-bot 4.128429 XRE! 
Announcer-bot: And now here's his exalted lardishness, Dr. Roooooooobotnik! 
(Robotnik rolls onstage. he gets up) 
RObotnik: YO YO! 
Bots in audience: yaaaaay! (klap klap) 
Robotnik: Let's get this show going! Heeeeeere's Snivley and the SWAT-bot 
orchastra! 
(Snivley and the bots play the Spring-yard Zone song)>> 

Jamie- Why not the Carnival Night Zone song? 

<<RObotnik: (dances) hey hey! yo-hey! hey hey hey, it's ROBIN WILLIAMS!!! 
(Robin Williams falls in through the roof) 
Robin: HEEEEEEEEY Everbodyyyy!!!!>> 

David- I wish I could get away but I’m shackled! Funny stuff! 

<<Bots: (clap clap clap clap clap) 
(Robotnik sits at the desk. Robin sits in the chair beside the desk. Also 
called the guests 
chair) 
Robotnik: Yo Rob, wassup? 
Robin: Yo yo homey-g! WURRRD!>> 

Austin- I’ll just sit...over...here...for a while... 

<<RObotnik: Yo nuttin' sup! 
Robin: Nuttin' honey? 
Robotnik: Honey nut cheerios?>> 

Austin- NO! LUCKY CHARMS!! 

<<Robin: Gotta race fore the taste! 
Robotnik: Yeah 
Robin: YEAH! 
Robotnik & Robin: Oh yeeeah! 
Robotnik: Ok let's can the dialogue 
Robin: 'k>> 

Scott- Doesn’t sound like Robin Williams to me. 
David- Scott, this is SonicFan, remember? 
Scott- Ah. 

<<Robotnik: So I heard you were in the movie "What Dreams May Come" 
Robin: That's right Ivo 
Robotnik: Howzabout you tell us about this movie 
Robin: Ok. 
Robotnik: ..... 
Robin: It's about a guy who dies>> 

Jamie- Is that supposed to be funny? Show some respect, Sonic Fan! 

<<Robotnik: Really? Hmmm. Interesting! Please elaborate some more. 
Robin: Ok 
Robotnik: ......... 
Robin: He's sitting in a tunnel and then suddenly a car flys out of nowhere and 
lands on 
him! 
Robotnik: Wait a second. So you're saying that the guys just sitting there.. 
Robin: Right.... 
Robotnik: And a car flys out of nowhere? 
Robnin: Affirmative. 
Robotnik: It just.....flys out of nowhere? 
Robin: That is the correct answer 
Robotnik: Now.......wouldn't that be a..... 
Robin & Robotnik: WALKING CONTRADICTION!>> 

Jamie- Now, how is that a walking contradiction? Do they have to break out into 
a song?! 
David- The video has a car flying out of nowhere. 
Austin- HAHAHAH! You watch Greenday videos! You’re such a fag! 
David beats the shit out of Austin 

<<(Robotnik jumps over the desk and runs over to the swat bot orchastra. He 
grabs a 
guitar.) 
(Robin Williams and Robotnik sing Walking Contradiction by Greenday) 
(Robotnik and Robin sit back down) 
Robotnik: Getting back to the movie. If the main character dies at the 
beginnging, that 
would 
be a pretty short movie 
Robin: But he goes to heaven 
Robotnik: Ah! I see! I went to heaven once. It's an interesting story. So one 
day I was 
going 
to heaven, right? And just then.... 
Robotnik: SOMETHING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO HEAVEN 
(Snivley and the bots start playing music. Robotnik jumps up on the desk. A bot 
throws 
him a 
microphone) 
(Robotnik sings "Something happened on the way to Heaven" by Phil Collins)>> 

Scott- WHy is he doing this to us? What kind of vile beast would torture us 
with this? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 
David- Austin... 

<<The Middle of the Great Desert 
Outside the Robotik Crystal Mine 
3:24 PM 
Temperature: 37 degrees Celcius>> 

David- But deserts are hot! 
Scott- Celsius, David. No wonder you dropped out. 
David- Shutup! 

<<The freedom fighters are sneaking up to the mine. Sonic and Sally look 
through the 
hi-tech 
bindoctulars. 
Sonic says "Hey I see stuff. It's the mine" 
"I see it too" says Sally 
Sonic says "Ok, this time I came up with the plan Sal" 
Sonic says "It goes like this. You and the other freedom figters shoot the SWAT 
bots with 
your 
paint guns while I sneak into the mine and blow it up" 
"Sonic!" said Sally "That's dangerous!" 
"No prob sal!" says Sonic "I'm the blue dude with a tude! I'm always dodging 
laser fire 
from 
hoverunits, and dashing  through hundred of bots, and it's just so I can get a 
chili-dog from 
a vending machine in robotnropolis.>> 

Jamie- A city located west of Robotropolis. 

<< That vending machine has the best chili-dogs on mobius. 
But thats beside the point. I'm a hedgehog of danger, a man of action, fighting 
the evil Dr. 
Robotnik. That's just what I do." 
"Ok" says Sally "We will do your plan" 
Sally and the other freedom fighters run up to the security fence. 
"Hey bots!" says Sally 
"WHAT" says a SWAT-bot 
"Time for a new paint job!" says Geoff St. John. 
"PAINT JOB IS NOT SCEDUELD UNTIL NEXT TUESDAY, PLEASE RETURN 
THEN. THANK YOU, COME AGAIN" says 
the bot>> 

David- What kidn of bot? A Robot, a Swatbot, a Cheeze bot or an Evilbot? 

<<Freedom fighters blast the bot with paint 
"NOOOOOO!" drones the bot. It falls over. 
A few hundred bots run to the scene 
"Zikes!" says Antoinee "Ze bots, are zo maneey, that i am counting them, and 
the are 
being 
hunzdrens of them!! ayieeeee!">> 

Jamie- Uh.. 
David- I’m not touching that one... 

<<The bots fire lasers. The Freedom fighters fight back with a storm of 
paintballs. 
"Hurry up Sonic!" says Bunnie "Heck y'all, there is alot of bots, some of em 
are metal, adn 
some of em are plastic, an some of em are clay, and some of em are nylon.>> 

David shudders 

<<Heck all yall some 
of the bots aren't even made of material at all!">> 

Scott- Now how’s THAT possible?! 

<<Sonic scurrys over the fence. He sneaks away into the truck garage. 
Inside the garage sonic loks around. It's dark. He turns on the light-switch. 
It's light now. 


David- Thanks, I would have never known. 
Austin- Uh... hi. I’m back. 
David- Restroom break?! You’ll pay for that! You missed a few seconds of 
torture. Now, 
you’ll have to watch this AGAIN! 
Austin- NOOOOOOOO!!!! 

<<He can see. He looks around again, this time seeing stuff. He spys a propane 
turck. He 
jumps 
into it and hotwires it with the hotwire-o-matic (made by Rotor)>> 

Scott- The detail astounds me... 

<<"Standard freedom fighter equipment" says Sonic 
The truck pulls out of the garage. 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

The Robotik Crystal Mine 
Guard Post #3 

A propane truck drives up to the security gate. The SWAT-bot in the booth 
drones 
"IDENTIFICATION PLEASE">> 

David- Yeah, I’m lookin for Julio. He dere? 

<<Sonic hides behind the dashboard and talks into a styrofoam cup. 
He says "Drooooonnneee. Hello I am SWATbot #7326492162942673294." 
SWAT-bot drones "WAIT A MINUTE. *I* AM SWATbot #7326492162942673294. 
INTRUDER ALERT!">> 

Jamie- That was actually kind of funny. 

<<The SWATbot sounds the alarm. Klaxons and sirens go off. 
"Oh FOCK!" says Sonic. He steps on the gas and drives right through the 
guardpost. 
**SMMMASSSH!!!* goes the truck as it runs over the booth. 
Sonic puts the petal to the metal *VROOOOOOOM!!!* 
But three SWATbot tanks are in hot pursuit!>> 

Scott- A high speed truck being chased by tanks. The excitement never stops. 

<<The truck hits a corner *SCREEEEEE* VRROOOOMMM****!!!! 
Meanwhile.... 
Four SWATbots are sitting at a table playing bridge. 
One SWATbot lays down it's cards and drones "FOUR OF A KIND" 
Another SWATbot dones "DRRROOOONNNNE. I GUESS #7498032657639081000127 
HASN'T HAD THEIR A.I. 
CHIP UPGRADED" 
The other bots drone "HA. HA. HA.">> 

Scott- Why drone? Why not speak? 

<<***KKKAAAAAARRRAAAHHHOOOOO!!!!!*** The propane truck runs over the 
table! 
***CRRRUNNNCH!!!!*** The tanks run over the SWATbots!! 
"SORRY" drones one of the tank driving bots. 
The truck is driving along the edge of a high sand dune. Sonic turns sharp! One 
of the 
tanks 
drives over the edge of the dune and flips over! 
The tanks fire on sonic! *BADDOM* *BROOOM!*>> 

David- I had one of those once. I like regular brooms better. 

<<Sonic turns left and right dodging the shots. He does a 360 degree turns 
*SKEEEREEEEE**>> 

Austin- Thats how you know not to eat Taco Bell 

<<one of the tanks turns and flips over. Sonic drives away MEGA-FAST 
*VROOOOM!!!* 
JUST THEN the last tank fire at sonic! The shot hits the ground beside sonic's 
truck. 
**KKALLAAAABAAAMM!!!*** It makes a Sandslide!>> 

Jamie- Where’d the sand come from? 

<<Sonic is sliding down the hill. He slams on the brakes but keeps sliding! He 
turns HE'S 
SPINNING  OUT!!!!>> 

David- He says HE NEEDS TO LEARN TO WRITE!!!! 

<<"AHHHH!" says sonic. He rolls down the window and jumps out of teh turck!>> 

Austin- WHat was he doing inside a Turk? Shoving his head up his- 
David- AUSTIN! SHUTUP!!! 

<<The hill goes down REALLY STEEP! The truck is barreling down the hill and IT 
SLAMS RIGHT INTO 
A METAL SUPPORT POLE!! ***GAAAAAAARRRRRNNNN!!*** 
Sonic dives down the mine shaft!>> 

David- only to find dynamite. It explode, Sonic dies, End of story. Can we 
leave now? 

<<**KRAK-SMAKA-BOOM!!!* the truck explodes in a huge firey explosion, and at 
the 
same time, 
blows up the tank ***BAAAANNNNNGGG!!!!***>> 

Austin- Shouldn’t it be KAFRGTTOOOOM!!!  ? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Inside the Mine 

Sonic is crawling through a dark tunnel. He gets almost to the end and looks 
out. 
Robotnik is singing "Oooh! What's love got to do with it, got to do with it">> 

David- So he got a wig and lost some weight? This isn’t Robotnik. 

<<Sonic sits in the tunnel and  waits for the right time to attack.>> 

David- Which is...? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

3 and a half minutes later>> 

David- Sonic realizes he’s in the wrong place at the wrong time, and goes back 
to Sega! 

<<Robotnik: And that's the end of our show. Join us next week, when we'll have 
Patrick 
Stewart, 
star of the movie "Star Trek: Insurrection" and the upcoming fanfic "The Borg 
With the 
Golden 
Gun". Goodnight everybody!>> 

Scott- What is his obsession with Star Trek? 

<<The credits roll. Snivley and the bots play music. Robotnik drinks some 
coffee. The 
stage 
lights go off and all the bots go back to their mining duties. 
Sonic speeds into the room! 
"Yo buttnik!" says Sonic "It's time for the final fight!" 
"Ha ha ha ha..." laughs Robotnik "Not today hedgehog! Ha ha ha ha ha! Packbell, 
Grounder, 
Scratch! Fight the hedgehog!" 
Robotniks chair zooms out of the room (note: robotnik was sitting on the chair 
at the 
time)>> 

David- Gee! Thanks for the note! I would have never guessed! 

<<Grounder has a metal blade shooter. 
"Huh hhuh hhuh huh huh Huh uhhhhh huh huh" says Grounder. 
Scratch has a lightning gun. 
"Hhehehh heh heh henheh! Use the tazer! Zap em in the butt! heh heh heh heh!" 
says 
Scratch. 
Packbell has 2 laser rifles. 
"I keeeeelll you!" says Packbell.>> 

Austin- Let’s get it on, Spanky!! 
David- Austin! It’s just a fanfic! 
Austin- Then make it stop!! 

<<Sonic jumps up in the air and says "I fight you!" 
Grounder fires circular metal blades at sonic! Sonic ducks and runs to the 
left! 
Scratch fires a huge lightning blast at sonic! **KRRRAAKKKKOOOWWWW!!!*** 
sonic jumps out of 
the way and runs to the right!>> 

Jamie- Then he jumps bckwards and runs straight ahead 
David- AND HE DIES! End of story. Can we leave now? 

<<Packbell breakdances while shooting at sonic. Sonic skillfully dodges the 
laser fire. 
Sonic climbs up a ladder to the rafters. Scratch shoots the ladder! 
*ZAPZAPZAPZAP* 
Sonic jumps 
off just in time, and grabs onto an electrical cord. Sonic swings on the cord 
dodging 
blades, 
laser fire and lighting blasts. 
**RRRIP!!* goes the cord. 
**SNAP*** goes the cord.>> 

Austin- ***CRACKLE**** **POP*** 

<<The cord snaps! Sonic falls! A studio light falls on scratch! 
***KRRRAAAHSSSS*** 
"HEH.... HEH.... HEH..... I/0 ERROR" goes scratch ***YAAAABOOOMMMM!!!*** 
scratch explodes. 
A metal blade cuts off one of Sonic's spikes.>> 

Scott- Spikes? Their called QUILLS you moron! 

<<"YOU DIE!" screams Sonic. 
Sonic spin dashes at Grounder. He gets hit in the arm by a metal blade. 
"AAARRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!" goes sonic 
Sonic gets mad, and throws a crystal at grounder. Grounder's head is made of 
cheap 
metal, so 
when the crystal hits him, his head collapses. Grounder falls into Packbell. 
His hand/drill 
drills into packbells torso. 
"Hey man, get this thing outta me!" says Packbell. He rips apart Grounder and 
runs away. 
Sonic runs to the energy crystal storage room. He uses the unlock-o-matic to 
open the 
door. 
But when he goes in the room, he is shocked to find.... 
THAT NOT A SINGLE CRYSTAL IS THERE! 
"Oh no!" says Sonic "Where'd they go?">> 

Jamie- Down a plothole. 

<<A robotic voice from a speaker says "NOW BOARDING, ENERGY CRYSTAL 
TRAIN TO ROBOTROPOLIS. 
LEAVING IN 15 SECONDS." 
Sonic runs really fast to the train. Packbell looks out the window of the train 
and says "ha 
ha ha" 
The train is leaving! *CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA* 
Sonic jumps onto a ladder on the side of the train. Packbell shoots at sonic. 
Sonic dodges, 
and hangs onto the ladder with 1 hand. He opens  a window on the car that 
packbell isn't 
in 
and climbs into it. 
Sonic relaxes for 2 seconds. Then Packbell kicks down the door!>> 

David- Packbell jumps for o reason and dies! Sonic kicks 1000000000000000000000 
bots 
butts! SonCi says “OH YEAH JUCIE AND WONKY WONK WONKL JAM PAST 
COOL WONK!” 
Jamie- CALM DOWN!! 

<<Packbell says "Ha ha, you won the fight back there but you will not stop the 
glorious 
crystal 
revolution!" 
"Sure I will, BOLT BRANE" says Sonic in reply.>> 

Scott- Braine, not Brane, BRAIN! 

<<Packbell shoots at sonic! SOnic runs around, up the walls and on the ceiling! 
He runs to 
the 
next car! It's the dining car.>> 

Jamie- But during the fight with Sonic, Packbell doesn’t notice that SOnic made 
a run for 
it! 
Scott- Why is there a dining car? 

<<Snivley and the bots are there, eating some food. Sonic runs over the tables 
while 
packbell 
blows up alot of stuff. 
Sonic enters the next car, which contains lots of explosives. 
"Hold it Packbell!" says Sonic "You can't shoot in here! Nyah nyah!" 
"FOCK YOU SONIC!" says Packbell. He blasts a barrel of Hyperexplosive. 
**KKKKRRRRRRRAAAAABBBBLLLLAAANNNNMMMMMMMMMMMMMddddd 
!!!!****** 
The explosion rips the car in two! Sonic is on one side, packbell is one the 
other. 
"HAHAHAHHA!!!" says Packbell. "You can't stop us now! 
hahahhahahhhhAhHAHAHA!!!!" 
Sonic does a running dash and leaps to the other side, and goes right over 
packbells head! 
"GET BACK HERE!" says Pack>> 

David- While Packbell jumps off and dies! The SoniC fights 1000000000000000 
bots 
and... 

<<He chases sonic! Sonic runs back through the dining car. 
*CRASH* 
*SMASH* 
Pardon me sir 
*BORK* 
*SNERT*>> 

Ausin- Bork? Snert? Getting Kinky, back there, huh? 

<<*BANG* 
*BOOM* 
hey watch'it 
*MOO* 
*OOF* 
*ARG* 
*OW* 
scuse me 
*BLAM* 
*KRASH* 
DRRROOONNEEE GET OUT OF MY SOUP 
*BASH* 
Sonic climbs out a window onto the roof of the train. Packbell follows. 
Sonic ducks when the train gets to a tunnel. It clears the tunnel, he gets back 
up. Packbell 
climbs out onto the roof.>> 

Jamie- Wasn’t he already there? 

<<"AHAHAHHHAA!!!" says Packbell. He blasts at sonic. 
Sonic swings down onto a ladder on the side of the train. Packbell shoots at 
him. Sonic 
does 
the speedy uppercut at Packbell! 
"oof" goes Packbell. Sonic get back on top of the train. Packbell says 
"GrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRR" >> 

Austin- Are you threatening me?! Lt’s get it on, Spanky! grrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRR!! 

<<*KRONK* 
Sonic ducked just in time when the train got to the tunnel but Packbell didn't. 
Packbell fell 
off the train. 
SOnic climbs back in through the window and runs to the control car.>> 

Scott- I was wondering what SOnic had gone off to do... 

<<He slices through the 
door and is greeted by.. 
ENGINEER BOT! 
Sonic battles the engineer bot! The bot attacks with a coal shovel. Sonic 
steals the bots 
shovel and smashes the bot to bits with it. 
"Too easy" says Sonic 
JUST THEN 
A gang of SWATbots enters the car.>> 

Austin- Punk ass bitch! I;m gonna bust a cap on yo ass! 

<<One of the bots says, or drones rather "PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH 
OF...SWAT-BOT #1! THE VERY 
FIRST SWAT BOT!" 
The SWATbot opens a door to the closet. A rusty old bot with a bucket for a 
head clanks 
out. 
It falls over. *CLANK* 
"NOOOOOOO!" say the other SWATbots. They throw themselves off the train. 
"Now all I have to do is pull the brake lever." says Sonic "I'll just grab it 
like so, and 
then pull in a downward fashion. On three. one...two..." 
*THUMP* 
***RRRIIPPP**** 
"***WWWAAAAAKKK!!!*" 
*SMAASSHHHHH* 
Gargoyle-bot rips through the roof of the train!>> 

David- Gargoyle bot?! Where the hell did that come from?! 
Jamie- It flew out of the plothole. 

"RRRAAAARRRRG!!" goes the bot! 
Sonic runs around the bot! The bot attacks with it's bladed wings! 
*SLICE!* 
the bots slices sonic! 
"OW! paper cut!" yells sonic.>> 

David- PAPERCUT?! A bladed metal wing slices you and you get a PAPERCUT?! 

<<Sonic rolls around on the floor. The bot swings it's clawed hand at sonic, 
but sonic rolls 
out 
of the way. He looks up at the navigational computer. 
The screen flashes "DO NOT TURN LEFT" 
Sonic gets up. The bot lunges at sonic, sonic ducks and the bot smashes head 
first into the 
control panel! 
"RRRG! GRRRG! GRRRK!" says the bot, trying to get it's hean un-stuck.>> 

Austin- hehehehe 
David- Don’t, Austin. (Raises a fist) 

<< Sonic turns the steering wheel left. Then he opens the door and jumps out of 
the train. 
The train makes a turn at the junction and hits a rickety old wooden track. 
The train derails! It flys off the track, 30 feet into the air, hits the ground 
and explodes 
in a mega-huge ecplosion!>> 

David- At least it wasn’t an explosion. If so, everyone would be killed. End of 
story, can 
we leave now? 

<< ***FFLLLLAKKKAAAMMNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!**** *BOOM!* 
"Hmmm I must have made a wrong turn" says Sonic.>> 

Austin- Funny! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

In Space..... 

VVVROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!! SCCCRREEEEEEE!!!! 
The Krokett-mobile is flying through an asteroid belt.>> 

Jamie- I forogt all about them. We’re doomed... 

<<"YYAAAAAHHH!!!" says Ed "Lookout! LOOKOUT!!!!" 
Dave kintobor steers the ship. He spins the steering wheel around. He makes a 
sharp turn 
just 
barely avoiding an asteroid. 
SSCCCRREEEEEEEEEE!!!! 
"WWOOOOHOOOO!!!!" goes the Dave, "We're almost at Mobius, I'd better step on 
the 
gas!">> 

Scott- But you can’t step on gas! It’s as if there was nothing there! 
David- Shutup! 

<<SSCREE VRROOOOMMM RRRRRRRRR VRROOOOMMMM 
They exit the asteroid belt going about warp 467.>> 

Scott- What would that be, 3,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 light years a 
second? 

<< JUST THEN... 
the screen flashes 
*Incoming Commuinacation* 
Edward hits the com-button. A SWAT-bot is onscreen. 
"HEELO, THIS IS SWAT-BOT #7461941746375639 OF THE STARSHIP 
ROBOPRISE. YOU ARE ON A COLLISION 
COURSE WITH OUR SHIP. WE REQUEST THAT YOU REMOVOE YOUR SHIP 
FROM THIS COURSE. THANK YOU, AND 
ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR DAY IN THE MOBIUS STARSYSTEM" 
Dave honks the horn and yells "GET OUTTA THE WAY!!!! GET OUTA THE WA*" 
The two starships collide!>> 

David- YES! DAVEY-KINS IS DEAD!!! 

<<**KKRRAASHHHMASHHHHBASSHHHATRRASHHHHKABOOOMMMMOOOS 
KKKNOOBOOMMMMMM!!!*** 
Out of the fiery explosion,  an escape pod falls down to Mobius!>> 

David- D’oh! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Ferret Planet 
The Communications Center 

FX Ferret arrives back at his post. He sits down at the desk. 
"Ahh it's great to be back" he says. 
FX Ferret checks the answering machine. No messages. 
"Now I'll just wait until Sonic gets here. I'll pass the time by singing a 
little song. Dum 
dee doo dah dee doo dum dah dee doo.">> 

Jamie- What was the point of that? 
David- Did it need one? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Mobius 
A grassy feild 

Knuckles is standing in a huge pile of rock-rubble. >> 

Scott- That’s right, there’s this echidna guy... 

<<He picks up a rock and examines it. 
"Hmm....number #4526521. Now where's #4526522...here it is." 
Knuckles glues the 2 rocks together. 
"Hot dam, it's gonna take a long time to rebiuld this island." says he.>> 

David- And a fine day to ye! 

<<He looks to the sky and sees a plummeting escape pod. The pod streks through 
the sky 
and 
smashes too the ground! 
*thunk* 
Edwar Berreca gets opens the door and looks outside. 
The pod is surrounded by SWATbots. 
"What's outside?" says Dave 
"Let me put it this way" says Ed "A real bad reason to get up in the 
morning!">> 

David- Saturday Morning Cartoons? 
Austin- Hey! Shut up! You better not be making fun of Young Hercules! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Trailer-Mart 

Bob Prower is buying a new trailer. 
Uncle Bob says "This be a good trailer. Please air-deliver it to coordianates 
(7243,429414,298491)">> 

Jamie- What was the point of that? 
David- Jamie, don’t try to make sense out of this. Remember when you tried to 
figure out 
what Gonterman’s Mobius Chronicles was about? 
Jamie- ARGHH! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Knothole Village 
5 weeks later 
Mid-spring 
April 12 
10:34 AM 

It was a peaceful day in Knothole Village. The trees were growing and the 
leaves were 
leafing. 
Rotor was in his lab inventing a new kind of sproket. Bunnie was researching 
crystals. 
Dulcy 
was running into trees. Antoinne was jamming to Greenday. 
And Sonic was bragging to a crowd of freedom fighters. 
"Yo" said Sonic "I beat those bots and I beat them good. I was like on the 
train, and I 
fought 
Packbell, and the train blew up! Hooray for a free Mobius!" 
"clap. clap. clap. yaaaay!" went the crowd. 
"Thank you, thank you, you're too kind" said Sonic. 
Meanwhile, Sally was in her hut watching TV and drinking a mountain due.>> 

Scott- Mountain DEW! DEW!!! 

<<(On TV) 
Announcer-bot: We now return to The Amazing Snivley 
(Snivley walks on-screen carrying a bunch of fruit.) 
(Snivley balances an orange on the tip of his nose)>> 

David- Geez, ANYONE can get their own show these days! 

<<("Sabre Dance" plays in the background) 
(Snivley spins the orange) 
(applause) 
(Snivley juggles some apples) 
(mopre applause) 
(Snivley throws a bannana) 
(Snivley juggles grapefruits using his feet) 
(The bannana boomerangs back a Snivley, and Snivley jumps over it) 
(yaaay clap clap) 
Robotnik: Yo nivley, c'mere>> 

Austin- I’m gon’ rape you...I’m gon’ rape you good! 
David- Thats it! (He pulls out a knife) 
Jamie- David, no! 
David- I have to! It’s his destiny! 
Jamie- NO! You’ll get blood everywhere! It’s hard to get out! 
David- ARGH! You’re right... 

<<(Snivley walks off-screen) 
Announcer-bot: We interrupt this episode of The Amazing Snivley to bring you an 
episode 
of the 
Droning Robots Show! 
Theme Song: It's the droning robots shooooow! 
SWATbot: DRRRRROOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNEEEE 
SWATbot #2: DRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEE 

Sally says "Hmm I wonder what is going on...">> 

David- You’re whole world is screwed! SonicFan is in control! That’s what’s 
going on! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Robotropolis 
11:54 AM 

Sally is sneaking around in Robotropolis. 
CLANK CLANK CLANK>> 

David- Hey, it’s our old pal SWATBOT!! 
Scott- Was that supposed to be funny? 
David- Shutup! 

<<"Uh oh bots" says Sally 
She hides behind a garbage can. When the bots leave sally climbs up a fire 
escape. She 
climbs 
all the way up to the roof of the building. 
Sally looks through the hi-tech view scope. 
"hmmm" says Sally "The Death Egg is 5 km from this point. Now to calculate the 
wind 
velocity. 
Huh whats that?" 
Sally looks around and sees A FLOCK OF HOVERUNITS IS HEADED RIGHT FOR 
HER!>> 

Scott- A FLOCK?! It’s called a SQUAD!! 

<<The Hoverunits are flying at top speed and cutting in front of each other. 
"YAHOOO!" says one hoverunit piloting SWATbot, while doing a barrel roll "LET'S 
LOCK N' LOAD" 
Sally waits. 
"HEY HO LET'S GO!" drones a SWATbot. 
The hoverunits are closing in. When they are just a few feet away from the 
building Sally 
drops a Hyperexplosive grenade off the rooftop. 
***BB:LLLLLLAAAAAKKKKKAAAAZZZXZXXXMMMMM!M!!!!!!!!*** 
The hoverunits are blasted down by a huge wall of flame! 
***SSKKKKAABLLLOOOMMMM!!!*** 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Robo-Building #23.2834 A 

Some SWATbots are sitting around playing Pokemon on gameboy.>> 

David- If someone says “PIKACHU!”, I swear I’m gonna murder someone!! 

<<**KKRRAAASSHHHHH!!!*** 
A flaming hoverunit smashes through the window and blow up the bots in a huge 
explosion!!! 
****BooM**** 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Robotropolis 
The Death Egg 
Outside 

Sally is using a rope to climb up the side of the death egg. She climbs up and 
up and up. 
Upwards and upwards. Climb climb climb. The Scrap Brain Zone music plays in the 
background.>> 

Jamie- Why not the Death Egg Zone Music? 

<<Sally climbs up to a window and looks inside. Some SWATbots are dancing and 
blasting out the 
Scrap Brain Zone song on a huge stereo. 
Sally climbs up some more. After climbing for a long time she looks in the top 
window. 
Robotnik and Snivley are there. Sally listins to their conversation. 
"HAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAA!!!" says Robotnik "HAHHA THis is my most evil plan yet 
HAHAHAHHAHA!!!" 
"What is your plan sir?" asks Snivley. 
"HA HA HA!" says Robotnik "My plan is ingeniuos yet EEEVVIILLL!!! 
HAHAHAHHAHHA!!!" 
Robotnik continues "The mad scientist Dr. Wily>> 

Scott- NO!! NOT A MEGAMAN-SONIC CROSSOVER!! 

<< has agreed to form a merger with The Robotnik 
Corporation! Together we will crush the freedom fighters with the power of THE 
MOST 
ULTIMATE 
FIGHTING BOTS IN THE UNIVERSE! HAHAHAHAHHA!!!" 
"What's the catch?" askas Snivlet. 
"We have to help Dr. Wily kill megaman. But that shouldn't be a problem, we'll 
just get 
him to 
stand on some big spikes and he'll go *POOF!*" 
"Hahahahahaha" laughed Snivley. 
"Now Snivley, to the Robotnik Co. building! There's going to be a big ceremony, 
with 
cake and 
stuff!" says Robotnik 
"GGGAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSPPPP OH NO!" says Sally 
"Did you just hear something?" says Snivley to Robotnik. 
"I think it came from outside. Let's go check" says Robotnik. They walk to the 
window. 
Sally despretaley tries to climb down but gets tangled in the rope. 
Robotnik opens up the window. "What have we here" says Robotnik "It's princess 
Sally 
climbing 
up the death egg again.">> 

David(Robotnik)- But I specifically told her not to climb it! It could kill 
her! 

<<Robotnik pulls out a pair of hedgeclippers. Robotnik waggles his eyebrows. 
Then he 
cuts the 
rope. 
*SNIP* 
"AAHHHHHHHH!!!" says the falling Sally. 
"Heh heh heh" says Robotnik "Done like dinner!" 
Sally pulls a cord on her backpack. A parachute opens! *FWOOSH* 
"ARRRRGGGG!!!" says Robotnik "She must have remembered the time when she fell 
off 
the Death 
Egg, and came prepared this time! D'oH d'OH d'oH d'oH!">> 

Austin- Sounds like Homer in Mortal Kombat 4. 

<<Robotnik hits the alram button and talks into the Intercom 
"ATTENTION all bots! Kill SallY!">> 

David- Whew. For a minute I though they’d kill Sally. 
Jamie- ahem. 
David- Uh...whoops... 

<<Sally hits the ground and runs. Some bots stroll after her. 
"YOU STUPID BOTS!! MOVE IT!!! ARRRGGG!!!!" yells robotnik. 
Sally escapes to The Great Forest. 
But Buzzbombers are chasing her! 
BUUZZZZ BUZZZZZ BUZUUZZZZ!!!! 
Buzz bombers fire STINGER MISSLES. SAlly jumps around, runs around rolls behind 
a 
bush and 
jumps into the treehole.>> 

Jamie- But Sally’s trying to get away! The bots follow SallY, and SAlly makes a 
run for it! 

<<She slides down the slide to Knothole! WHEEEEEEEE!!!! 
Sallys comes out the other end of the slide and flies through the wall of 
Rotor's hut! 
***CCRRRAAAAHHHHHH**** 
"Hi Rtor!" says Sally "Emergency meeting in 2 minutes!">> 

Jamie(Sally)- Wait- what are you doing in Rotor’s hut? 
Austin(Rtor) Ah BLAHBLABLAHBLAHBLAHABLAHBLAH 

Jose Solano 
---------------- 
"Bizarre? Yes. Weird? Yes. Pointless? Sometimes" 
          -Mach Hedgehog 

Coming Soon: Jose's White Trash Can 
 Home of the Pikachu Death Gallery!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog
From: jsolano199@aol.commyass (JSolano199)
Date: 1999/01/27
Subject: [Cheap MST part 3] Sonic Fights Robotnik 7: Blue Streak Speeds By

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

The Great Jungle 
Robo Prison 

David Kintobor and Ed are sitting around in a cell. 
"How are we gona get out of this one Dave?" saks Ed. 
"I think i have an idea" says Dave 
Dave turns his arm  into a sawblade and saws through the bars. They escape the 
cell. But 
the 
guard bot sees them! It sounds the alarm! 
Dave picks up the machine gun that was lying around outside the cell>> 

Scott- Ever so conveniently... 

<< and blows the bot away! 
*RATATATATATATA BOOOOM!* 
The SWATbot drones it's last words "URRRRG...BAD COMMAND OR FILE 
NAME...*BEEEeeppp* IT...IS 
NOW SAFE TO...TURN OF..YoUR .... COMPuuutooor......." 
They run down the corridor, but the door is locked. David easily opens it with 
a 
DATASPEAR 
MEGA-BLAST! *KAPOWIE*>> 

David-KABLAMO! 
Scott- KABOOM! 
Jamie- KALARAMA! 
Austin- Bubbaloooooooooooooooooooooo!!! 

<<But the opening of the door reveals tons and tons of SWATbots. Too make 
things 
worse the walls 
are lined with laser cannons! They jump into the crowd of bots, Dave blasing 
away with 
his 
machine gun. Finally they get through. There's 2 corridoors, bots swarming 
towards them 
in 
every direction. 
Then David sees a sign. It says "WARNING: Floor is slippery when wet" 
Dave and Ed go down the hallway to the left where a janitor-bot is mopping the 
floor. 
Dave 
slides down the corridoor, killing bots all the way. 
"YEEAAAHHHOOO!!!" says David Kintobor. He slides underneath some bots and 
blasts 
them from 
below. *RATATATTATATTA BALMO!*>> 

Jamie- Whoops, I should have said BALMO! 

<<"This way!" says Ed. They go into the shuttle bay. Dave punches through the 
windsheild of a 
hoverunit and unlocks the door. They get in. But bots are storming the room! 
Dave 
quickly uses 
his mechanical arm to hotwire the hoverunit amd they take off! 
*WOOOSH!* 
"We escaped WAHOO!" says Dave. Then Ed looks in the rear view mirror. 
"LOOK OUT DAVIE!" sayd Ed "A huge BOT CRUISER IS RIGHT BEHIND US!!>> 

David- Bot Cruiser! Thanks to the convenience of PLOTHOLES! 

<< AHHHH!!!" "Time for evasive manuvers!Q" says Dave. 
The cruiser fires a missle! Dave flies under the missle! The cruiser fires 
antoher missle! 
Dave flies under that one too! 
"Watch out for the trees!" says Ed (yelling loudly) 
The cruiser fires antoehr missle.>> 

Scott- Antoehr Missile- noun- A Missile used by SONIC FAN to annoy the heck out 
of 
Scott Phillips. 
David- What about me? 

<< Dave flies under it but they hit the trees! 
*FWHASRFGWGRHGAHGRHA*>> 

Austin-Ah BLAHBLABLAHBLAHBLAHABLAHBLAHBLHAB!!!!!!! 

<<*BUMPITY THUMP THUMP BOOM* 
They crash! But they're still alive! They run real fast! 
The bot crusier surveys the wreckage and comes to the conclusion that the two 
escapees 
are 
dead. 
But they're not! They're running! 
TO MAD EDDY'S!>> 

Jamie- Honestly, does anyone here care? 
David-Nope. 
Scott-No 
Austin- Yes..I mean no. 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ 

Knothoele Village 
The Secret Meeting Room>> 

Jamie- Knothole Village was a lot closer. Why go all the way over there? 

<<"Ok listen up people" says Sally "I've only got 2 seconds to explain the 
situation" 
Then Sonic pulls out an electric guitar from under the table and says "I love 
you Sal, so I 
wrote this way past cool song for you!" 
"SONIC THERE'S NO TIME!!!" yells Sally. 
Sonic sings: 

Hanging 'round 
in the hut 
jamming by myself>> 

Austin laughs uncontrollably 

<<and I've had too much caffine 
from drinking mountain due>> 

Scott- DEW! 

<<And there she was... 
like spicy chili dog 
yeah there she was.... 
like psychadelic frog>> 

Jamie- Psychadelic Frog? What’s wrong with you, Sonic Fan? 

<<I smell cyber-seeeeex 
yeah 

who's that lounging 
in my deeeesk 
yeah 

who's that casting ghgh mfmem stares in my direction 
yeah momma this sure is waypastcool 
yeah 
yeah 
yeah momma this sure is waypastcool>> 

David- I hate that song. I really, REALLY hate Marcy Playground. 

<<"AUWG!" says Sally "NOw thnks to Sonic, I don't have time to explain the 
mission! 
Just, 
everybody go to the building in Grishonia City!" 
Everybody leaves in a frenzy'd panic. 
"Sonic!" says Rotor "Come to my lab to equip yourself with the latest peice of 
freedom 
fighter 
war technologie!">> 

Scott- TechnologY 

<<*^*^*^*^*^* 

Grishonia City 
The Robotnik Co. Building 

A huge 5000 story building. Behold, in awe, the spectacle of the ROBOTNIK CO. 
BUILDING. The 
pinnacle of robotic achievement! 
In front of the building there is a huge Robotnik fountain. Gathered by this 
fountain is a 
huge crowd of bots. The banners say "Robwily Incorporated">> 

David- Sure, I’ll rob Willy. 

<<A saucer thing lands in front of the crowd. Dr. Wily gets out. 
Snivley is conducting the SWATbot orchastra, which has over 70 bots. 
"Alright everybody" says Snivley "We're going to play 'The Music From The First 
Dr. 
Wily Stage 
of Mega Man 2'" 
Snivley taps his conductor's stick. "And a 1 and a 2 and a 1 2 3 4" 
The bots play the song. 
Meanwhile from behind some shrubbary, someone is spying on this super secret 
meeting. 
It's Sonic, who is piloting the Freedom Fighters spy-copter (the first 
helicoper made 
entirely 
of wood)>> 

David- THAT’s the latest in Freedom Fighter Technology? What about that Cyber 
Suit?! 

<<Sonic looks thru the spyscope. "Ah ha there they are" says him. 
Bunnie, who is co-piloting, says "Yess'm, ah see them thar bots. And heck 
y'all, there all is 
alot of bots down yonder. Why, some of em is Metal Man, and some of em is Fire 
Man, 
and some 
of em is Napalm man, and some of em is Needle Man and some of em is..." 
"Arrrg!" says Sonic, covering his ears. 
"And heck all y'all, some of em aren't even bots at all! Now heck, Sonic" says 
Bunnie 
"Sonic....y'all.....Sonic.....sonic? Y'all might want to put y'ar dem hands 
back on yonder 
steering wheel">> 

David- They crash! Sonic dies! End of story. Can we leave now? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Same Location 

Packbell says "We are gathered here today to celebrate the merger of two really 
great 
companies. They are great. Let me tell you. They sure are great." 
"Hurrah!" says the crowd of bots. 
Dr. Wily is about to sign the contract and... 
He signs the first letter  of his name... 
then the second letter.. 
and the third...>> 

Austin- Then he kills everyone in a drunken rage! 

<<fourt***KKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLAAA 
AAAMMMMMMM!!!!***** 
A helicopter smashes into the Robotnik building! Firey explosion! The blade 
flies off and 
cuts 
off some of Dr. Wily's hair. 
"BAH!" says Dr. Wily "YOu can forget about this merger! This is the most unsafe 
peice of 
unsafety I have ever seen in all my years of being an evil doctor! You should 
be ashamed!" 
Dr. Wily gets into his saucer and flies away.>> 

Jamie- That was a waste... 

<<Dr. Robotnik growls "grrrrr.....that hedgehog is very bad for business!" 
"Snivley, Packbell, Grounder, Scratch! Attack mode NOW!" 
Snivley jumps in the air! Packbell loads his mega-shotgun! Grounder arms the 
blade 
cutter! 
Scratch spins around and says "Arrr!" 
Robotnik sounds the alrm!>> 

David- How does that go, Austin? 
Austin-... 
David- It goes ALRM ALRM ALRM! 
Austin-... 
Scott- Austin? 
Austin-... 
Jamie- Great. He’s gone blank again... 
Austin-...kill....sonic...fan... 
Scott- No, he’s fine. 

<<(((WHHOOOOO--OOOOOOHHHOOOOOOOO))) 
Bots got into CraZy-AtTaCk mode! 
SWATbot tanks fly over a speed bump and WALLOP into the ground!>> 

Scott- But tanks are too slow to be affected by speed bumps! 

<<Robotnik dashes in the front door, jumping over fiery wreckage! 
"I kill the hedgehog!" says Robotnik. 
Sonic and bunie are standing around by a coffee machine. 
"yo yo" says Sonic. 
JUST THEN A YO-YO BLADE SLICES THROUGH THE COFFEE MANCHINE 
***********SMMMAAAAAJJHHH***** 
"Ahhhh! yo yo!!!" yells sonic 
Robotni kreels his yoyo blade back in. 
"I kikll you next time!" says The Doctor.>> 

David(Sonic)- C’mon! I DARE you to kikll me! HAHAHAHAHAHA! STOP IT! THAT 
KIKLLS! 

<<Sonic and Bunnie run away. 
The rest of the freedom fighters walk over Robotnik. 
"ARRRRRGGGG!!!!" yells 'botnik. "TO the control room badniks! Let's go!" 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin-...lucky...charms...kill...kids...sonic...fan.... 

<<Floor 15 

Sonic is running around an office fighting office-bots. He hits one of them 
with a 
keyboard! 
***QWERTY!!!!***>> 

Jamie-Ha.ha.ha... 

<<Bunnie punches a swatbot! "OOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! y'all....hmm I all forgot i 
wuz robotnickzide!">> 

All-What? 
Austin- ... 

<<"DUUUUUUUUHHHhhhHHhh" insults Geoffy St. John. 
Geoffrry gets hit by a printer. He's down! 
Sonic and the rest of the freedom fighters are surrounded by bots. With the 
exception of 
Sally, who ran away. 
"Uh oh dudes" says Sonic "Looks like we won't be getting out of this one." 
"Oh well that's a real positive attitude" says Tails sarcastically.>> 

David(Sonic)- Tails! Whee the hell have you been? Get your ass over here NOW! 

<<"HA HA HA!!!" drone the bots. 
The bots beat up the good guys. 
pow 
boom 
kick 
smak 
yow 
klang 
yeowch 
oof 
arrg 
IS THIS THE END OF OUR TRUE BLUE HERO?>> 

David-Hopefull also the end of the story... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Floor 5000 
Control room 

"Hahahah" says Robotnik. 
"Why are you always laughing?" asks Snivley. 
"I just find alot of things funny" says Robotnik "One of them being the fact 
that the 
freedom 
fighters are dead." 
"hahahahaha" laughs snivley 
"Indeed" says Robotnik>> 

David- 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Floor 15 

"NoooOOOoo.....gUUuurrrGGG" grones Sonic.>> 

David- That’s what you get for drinking the water in Texas! 

<<One bot picks up an aluminum baseball bat "I BEAT ON YOU GOOD WITH THIS" 
drones the bot. 
The bot is about to smack sonic upside the head when. 
KASMASHO! 
Somebody blasted right into the room! 
It's.... 
Chrono Trigger's LUCCA!>> 

Jamie- Enough Crosscasting! PLEASE!! 

<<"Hi there. I'm Lucca from Chrono Trigger." says Lucca 
"Plleased to meat you" says the near dead hedgehog.>> 

Austin-meat you...dead hedgehog...mmm.. 
David- I think he’s coming out of it... 

<<"My new interdimensional travel deivce seems to have taken me to this stange 
planet 
filled 
with evil robots." says Lucca 
Lucca shoots the bots. 
"yaaaaay!" cheer the freedom fighters. 
"Hi there. My name's Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog" says Sonic "Let us tell you 
the 
story of 
mobius" 

*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

2 hours later 

Sonic finished explaining the story of mobius to Lucca.>> 

David- Lucca says “You guys are all FOCKED up!” and leaves. 

<<"And then we blew up the death egg! KABLAMO!" said Sonic. 
"Wow" she says "That story was kind of OK i guess." 
Uncle Chuck says "And if you liked that stick around for the seventh part of 
our story! It's 
excitin' bot fightin' Mobius savin' action! reccomend it to a friend!" 
Rotor says "Do you like robots?" 
"YEs, in fact I am a robot science engineer" says Lucca. 
"Yeah I like robots. Watch this" says Rotor. He starts dismantaling a 
SWATbot.>> 

Scott- I like robots too. I have one with me. Say hi, Joe. 
JOE-HALLO 
Scott- HI, not hallo 
JOE- HALLO HALLO 
Scott-Argh... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^* 

3 hours later 

Rotor pulls a chip out of the bot. 
"I can use this chip in the vending machine back in Knothole." says Rotor. "Bet 
you can't 
do 
that" 
Lucca starts tinkering with the bots.>> 

David- She pulls out some junk, rearms it into a Super-Hyper-Mega Lazer Fun, 
and kills 
everyone. End of story, can we leave now? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

5 hours later 

Lucca pushes the red button on the control panel. 
*BZZRRRP* 
The bots get up. They start dancing to a funky rap beat. 
"Yo yo wassup we're the rapping robots. Wooorrrdd. Word up, word down, word all 
around to mah 
robo-G's. BEEP BOP BOO BOP SHOOBY DOO WOP" 
"Neat!" says Tails. 
"Thanks for reprograming the SWATbots for us Lucca.>> 

Jamie- Although it served us absolutley no purpose 

<< Now we have to go fight Robotnik!" says 
Sonic 
Lucca says "I have get to the control room to find the gate that goes back to 
my 
dimension. 
Let's split up. I'll go left, you go right." 

*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Control Room 

(phew! this is a long story!)>> 

All-WE NOTICED! 
Austin-..notice... 

<<Robotnik and Snivley are sitting around the control panle.>> 

Scott- What’s a Panle? 

<<Lucca walks into the room. 
"Hey you!" says Robotnik "You were aiding the freedom fighters! 
SWATbots......GET 
HER!!!!!!" 
The SWATbots dance into the room. 
"SWATbots...ATTACK!" says Robotnik. 
The bots keep dancing. 
Robotnik says "WHy you....You...YOU...YOOUUUUU.....hey....I like this.....It is 
kind 
of....... 
funky" 
Robotnik and Snivley dance to the beat. 
Lucca quickly escapes the fanfic.>> 

David- Don’t worry about us! Save yourself! WHILE YOU STILL CAN!! 

<<"Yo Sniv man!" says Robotnik (dancing) 
"What?" says Snivley (dancing) 
"Let's funk on down to the basement" says Robotnik "Just follow my groove" 
They dance some more.>> 

Austin- I get you down to da basement-I freak you. I freak you good! 
David- Dammit! He’s back to reality! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Floor 4273 

Sonic is walking along minding his own business. Just then some bots jump out 
of 
nowhere! 
It's Grounder, Scratch and Packbell.>> 

Austin- But they died! And then they came back, and now they pop out of 
nowhere! 
David- They can be rebuilt 
Austin- But still! Kill them off already! 

<<"Huh huh, we attack" says Grounder, jumping towards Sonic. Sonic ducks and 
Grounder flys out 
the windown.>> 

David- Windown? What’s that? 

<<Next up is Scratch. He jumps at sonic. Sonic sidesteps and Scratch flys out 
the window 
too.>> 

Scott- Too? Who else flew out the window? 

<<"Impressive." says Packbell "But you won't defeat my robo-power!" 
Packbell runs out of the room. Sonic hears **FERWOOSH.....CLANGO!*** 
Packbell re-enters the rom and he has merged with TankBot to create 
TANK-BELL!>> 

David- See, THIS is what happens when people make up cheezy characters, and 
someone 
steals them. 
Scott-I guess Packbell is into emulators. 

<<"HHAHAHHAHHA!!!" yells Tank-bell. 
Sonic does a spin dash but gets hit with a robo-fist! *POWF* 
Tank-bell launces a volley of missles at Sonic. Sonic inches around dodging 
them. Then 
Sonic 
has an idea. He thinks "The oldest trick in the book always works!">> 

David- What, jumping through the window and dying? That always works. Go for 
it! 

<<Sonic runs up the wall. Tank-bell revs up it's engine and chrages the wall at 
FULL-SPEED! 
Sonic jumps out of the way and TANK-BELL FLYS OUT THE WINDOW!>> 

Scott- Oh, so Tankbell flies out the window, then Scratch, right? 
Jamie- That was a typo, Scott. Get over it. 

<<"AHHhhhh! No!" says Tank-Bell. 
"Yo Tank-Bell" says Sonic "Soon you will look like flat TACO-bell! Har har!">> 

Austin- Taco Bell is nothing to laugh about! Don’t you feel sorry for the dogs 
that 
donated their meat? They just kept that one because he could talk and play 
Monopoly! 

<<Tails, Bunnie and Rotor walk into the room. "Hey Sonic, did we miss 
anything?" asked 
Tails. 
"Just an action-packed battle with a powerful new robot!" says Sonic 
"aw nuts" says Tails.>> 

David- Don’t fret, Tails. I’ll just press the rewind button, courtesy of 
SonicFan co... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Floor B 
(B is for basement) 
"DUUUuUUUUUuuUHHHHHHH" insults Geoffry St. John 
Hey, no talking during the scene titles!>> 

Austin- But, he’s talking during the scene titles! He’s yelling out stuff like 
“Floor 
324242”! I’m confused... 

<<Robotnik and Snivley and the dancing bots are in the main pipe room. 
Robotnik says "Now Snivley listen as I explain what we are about to do. You 
will hand 
me the 
world's smallest wrench. I will use that wrech to unscrew the world's smallest 
screw. That 
will cause the pipe valve to open and flood the building with water.>> 

Jamie- But wouldn’t a big wrench and a big screw have the same effect? 

<< That'll get rid of Sonic and friends. Or should I say 'Soggy-Sonic and his 
super-sogged 
friends' hahahahahahaha">> 

David- Quite the comedian, you are. 

<<"But sir!" says Snivley "All our carpets will be ruined." 
"There's no time to argue about schemantics Snivley." says Robotnik "Now hand 
me that 
wrench 
before I have to beat your head in real good! Hardy har har!" 
Snivley gives Robotnik the wrench. 
(unscrew unscrew unscrew) 
"OK Snivley...." says Robotnik "Now we had better run real fast before the 
water wave 
gets 
us!">> 

Scott- You should have had an Egg-o-matic on hand. Too late now, isn’t it? 
Austin(Snively)-But, sir! What about me and the bots? 
David- Uh.. a screw you guys. Save your own damn skins! 

<<*WOOOOSSSHHH* 
water wave! 
Robotnik surfs a swatbot! "Cowabunga doodes!>> 

David sighs. 
Jamie- Oh, the doodes thing? Yeah, I hate that too... 
David- Not just that, this story doesn’t look like it’s going to end! 

<< Like, G'narly. HhuHUh, woooahh dude!" 
Meanwhile Snivley gets into the Sniv-sub. 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Outside 

Dulcy bumps into a statue and says "Duuuhhh....me no wanna do homework." 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Jamie- That was...interesting... 

<<Floor 94832 

Sonic and Tails are standing around. Suddenly, all of the sudden Captain Picard 
beams 
into the 
room!>> 

Scott- And I kill him! 

<<Picard hands Sonic a peice of paper. It says "Read STAR TREK: The Borg With 
the 
Golden Gun" 
Tails says "I think we should read that amazing new fanfic!">> 

Scott(Sonic)- Go ahead! You’ll die in the process! 
David- What do you have against Star Trek? Or self-plugs? 
Andre Dirk- No comment. 
David- Go away. 

<<Sonic says "I way past agree with you small-bro.">> 

Jamie- How can you go past agreeing? That’s impossible! 

<<just then a gian wave of water floods the room. *SPLAsH* 
"glub glub dude" says Sonic (underwater) 
Uh no! SCUBA-bots! 
Sonic torpedo dashes them. *BLAM BLAM* 
they swim to the surface. *VROOOOOM* 
It's Rotor! 
"It's a good thing i brouigh my inflatable boat !" says Rotor>> 

Austin- He WHAT his inflatable what?! 

<<They get into the boat. 
"HAHAHAHAHA" 
huh!? 
SNIVLEY! 
"You're mione, freedom fighters!" says Snivley.>> 

David- Mione, is that like some sort of fancy cuisine? 
Scott-Shutup. 
David punches Scott, cracking his glasses 
Scott- Hey! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

The Top Floor 

Sally is running away from the giant wave of water that's chasing her. 
*FWOOSH!* 
"AHHH!" says Sally. 
underwater, sally swallows some of the water. 
"waitaminute" thinks sally "This doesn't taste like water. it tastes 
like.....LIQUID 
HYPEREXPLOSIVE!">> 

Jamie- Liquid Hyperexplosive? Liquid hyperexplosive what? 
David- And when has Sally taste liquid hyperexposis or whatever? 

<<She opens the door and is on the roof! 
But Air Man is there! He fires a tornado wind at sally. Sally dodges.>> 

David- Air man? C’mon! Air man?! What the hell was that all about?! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Meanwhile, SOnic and pals.....>> 

Scott- I forgot all about SOnic. What about SoniC? 

<<Snivley fires a torpedo at the boat. It hits and.... 
*BOOM* 
firy explosion! 
just then all the liquid hyperexplosive in the building goes.... 
***BLAMDHWSFUWBHKJALJKKLAKLCKLJAJKLVBJKLKJDQAAAMMMM!!!!** 
*>> 

Austin- AH BALBLAHBLAHBLHABALHABBALHBALABLA!!! 
David- Stop that! 

<< ************ 
the boat is fired out the window! 
"AHHHHH" say the freedom fighters. 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Jamie- You had to make a scene change for that? 

<<The Roof 

Sally looks down below. The entire building is exploding. She jumps off the 
roof just 
before 
the whole building goes 
***BBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM**** 
"arrrg!" goes air man>> 

David- Air man?! WHERE IS HE GETTING THIS CRAP?! 

<<Sally, flying through the air, sees the boat, also falling. Sally falls as 
fast as she can.>> 

Jamie- What, it’s in her control how fast she can fall? 

<<She climbs into the boat! 
"Yo Sal you made it!" says Sonic 
The boat lands in a fountain. *SSPPPLLAASHHH!!!!* 
"Wow!" says Sonic "What a mega-cool explosion!" 
"We have defeated Robotnik once again" says Sally>> 

David- No you didn’t. Either way, SonicFan would bring him back... 

<< "Three cheers for a free mobius!" 
Commander Keen commends the freedom fighters by giving them a thumbs-up.>> 

David- Air Man? Commander Keen? 

<<The battle is over for now but when..and where..and how will Robotnik return? 
Those 
question 
remain unanswered as the heros walk off into the  sunset.>> 

Jamie- And they all live happily ever after.. 

<<Greenday sings "It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, i hope 
you had the 
time 
of your life">> 

David- Argh! What kind of an idiot jams to this crap? 
Austin- Or listens to it?! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

David- End of story...can we leave now? 

<<But wait! 
That can't be the end of the story!>> 

David- DAMMIT! 

<< What happened to David Kintobor and Mad Eddy and all those 
copies of SMAK? 
Let's find out......>> 

David- Let’s not, ok? 

Jose Solano 
---------------- 
"Bizarre? Yes. Weird? Yes. Pointless? Sometimes" 
          -Mach Hedgehog 

Coming Soon: Jose's White Trash Can 
 Home of the Pikachu Death Gallery!

Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog
From: jsolano199@aol.commyass (JSolano199)
Date: 1999/01/27
Subject: [Cheap MST part 4] Sonic Fights Robotnik 7: Blue Streak Speeds By
 
<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Knothole Villiage 

It is a shiny new day in Knothole village. All the stuff is going on, etc.>> 

Jamie- Let me guess- Robotnik comes back, and Sonic fights an excessively large 
number 
of bots! 

<<Sonic is sitting around doing nothing inparticular. He decides to buy a chili 
dog. He 
walks 
over to the vending machine, puts in his quarters and.... 
SUDDENLY THE VENDING MACHINE ATTACKS!>> 

David- A new Fox special. 

<<Sonic dodges a clark bar, and quickly spin dashes the machine in half. 
Sonic then goes to Rotors hut and says "Yo ROte, don't put SWAT chips in the 
vending 
machine 
any more" 
"Ok" says Rotor, doing an OK sign with his left hand.>> 

Scott- What did he just do?! 
Jamie- An ok sign. Your glasses are cracked, remember? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

1 week and 7 days later 

Sally is looking for Sonic. 
"Where could that hedgehog be?" she thinks. 
"Ah ha, he must be at Bunnie's casino" she thinks.>> 

Jamie- Why is there a Casino on Mobius, more importantly, why is it so close to 
Knothole, 
and even more importantly why is owned by Bunnie? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Bunnies Casino>> 

David- I went there once. It was overrun by killer bunnies. 
Austin-Ha.Ha. 
David- Shutup. 

<<Sonic, Rotor, Tails, and some extra, "background" characters are shooting 
craps. 
Sonic puts 5 chili dogs and a mountain due on the pass line.>> 

Scott- Mountain DEW! DEW DAMN YOU DEW!!! 
Jamie- Calm down, Scott, you’re swearing. 
David- Hey, me and Austin swear. 
Jamie- Scott feels it’s a dirt habit. That and N’Sync posters 
Scott- N’Sync! NO!! 

<<"C'mon Rotor, roll that 8!" says Sonic 
Rotor shakes the dice. 
Just then Sally bursts though the Casino's doors! 
Rotor say "Agck" 
Rotor throws the dice! 
7!!! 
"You lose Sonic" says Tails. 
"Yo sal" says Sonic "You just made me lose my lunch!">> 

Jamie- That was almost funny... 

<<"Sonic, did you break the vending machine?" asks Sally 
"Um, no" says Sonic. 
"Sooonic..." says Sally 
"I said no!" says SOnic 
"SONIC!" says Sally 
"No way!" says Sonic 
"STOp LYniNG!" says Sal>> 

David- I ORDEr YoU TO SToP! 

<<"Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok I did it." says Sonic. 
"We're taking this to Mad Eddy's to get it fixed. Come along Sonic." says 
Sally>> 

Scott- Mad Eddy’s is a fix it shop too? Pretty versatile. 

<<"Me too!" says Tails. 
"But tails it's dangero.." says Sally 
"Me TOOOOOOO!" says Rotor>> 

Jamie(Sally)- Let’s go to the circus! 
Scott(Tails)-Yay! 
David(Amy) I wanna go too..hey waiaminute... 
Austin(Rotor)- ME TOO! ME TOO! GIMME PIGGYBACK RIDE!! 

<<"I wanna go to" says Dulcy, running into a slot machine. "OOof! Arrrrg I 
dOn'T wanna 
do 
homeworrrk">> 

David- THeN skIp scHoOOOOL 

<<"all right, all right, sheeeeeessssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh" says Sally, walking out 
the doors, 
with 
all the freedom fihgters trailing behind her. 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Outside Mad Eddy's 

Ed and Dave are standing around outside. 
"Ok here's the plan." says Dave "We sneak in the back, steal the merchandise, 
and get out 
before we get caught" 
"Sounds like a plan Dave!" says Edward.>> 

Scott(Edward)-Except maybe that there’s about a few million copies, but it’s 
good! 

<<They sneak around to the back door. Dave opens it using a "Lock Pickin' (tm)" 
attatchment from 
his arm. 
They are in the stock room. Ed starts humming the Mission Impossible theme.>> 

David- And I slap him! 
Austin- (David slaps Ed! David kicks butt!) 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Inside Mad Eddy's 

Eddy: BWA HA! 
Ralph: WOO HOO! 
Robotnik and Snivley walk in.>> 

Austin- But they died! Didn’t they? 

<<"Those dancing SWATbots were fun for a while" says Robotnik "But they're not 
very 
productive. >> 

Austin begins to laugh hysterically 

<<All they do is dance dance dance. The nuclear reactors aren't being monitored 
and if we 
don't 
hurry up and buy some new chips, there's going to be a massive nuclear 
explosion in 
robotropolis. AGAIN.">> 

Jamie- Not like any of the blast or fallout affected us. 

<<"Less talk, more buy" says Snivley. 
Eddy: I think I hear the mission impossible theme! 
Ralph: Then there is only one possible conclusion...>> 

David- Hey, what happened? 
Jamie- He switched format 

<<Eddy: I think so 
Ralph: and that is.... 
Eddy&Ralph: Theivin' bandits in the stock room! 
They rush down the stairs to the stock room.>> 

David- What were they doing before? 
Austin chuckles 
David-Dammit Austin! 

<<Robotnik says "Quickly Snivley! Now is our opportunity for the great triumph 
of the 
Robotnik 
empire! Shove as much stuff into your pockets as you possibly can!">> 

David- Back to the old format... 
Scott- Wait- Wouldn’t they just capture Mad Eddy and roboticize him? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Stock Room 

Eddy: HALT THEIF!>> 

Austin- Mein Kampf! 

<<David trips and knocks over a shelf of Poke balls.>> 

David- Ok, this guy has an unhealthy obsession with Pokemon 

<<Edward dives behind the monolith from 2001: A space odessy. 
Ralph: You theives! Prepare to do battle! 
Ralph launches into a M. Bison torpedo, while Eddy does a Shoyrouken.>> 

Scott- Sho-Ryu-Ken. Get it right! 

<<Dave: oof 
Ed: Ow ow 
Eddy picks up a Poke ball and throws it. 
"Pikachu, I choose you!">> 

David- Alright that’s it! Someone’s going to die! Austin! C’mere! 
Austin- What? 
David gets a power drill and drives it through Austin’s skull. 
David- HAHAhAHA!!! 

<<"Pika Pi?" 
"Pikachu, thundershock, now!" 
"PiikaaacHHHUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!" 
Everybody  is zapped by a 20,000 gigawatt blast of electricity.>> 

Jamie- Oh, come on. Pikachu doesn’t have enough electric energy to power a 
light bulb 
for a minute. 

<<When the smoke clears they get up. 
Eddy: All right punks, what's the big idea? You think shoplifting is cool or 
something? 
Well 
you're just not cool! Ok, you got it? I can't stress that point enough. THose 
dudes in the 
"Cool Club" say they're cool, and you probably want to get into their club. 
After all they 
have the biggest treehouse on the block. But breaking the law is seriously 
UN-cool. You 
just 
blew it, and now you're going to pay.>> 

David- That was pretty funny actually. 

<<Ed: But wait, we can explain! 
Eddy: I don't know what your malfunction is, but you can think about it IN 
JAIL! 
Dave: Hey, this isn't Need For Speed III. 
Eddy: SHUT YO MOUTH! 
Dave: Now wait just a phrackin' minute! What right do you have to just send me 
to jail 
without 
even hearing my side of the story?!?!?!?!?!?>> 

Scott- he has a point 
David-Shutup. 

<< now what i did was probably a mistake. And we all 
make mistakes sometimes. SMAK was a mistake for me, and I destoyed every 
remaining 
copy of it 
3 years ago. But some people just don't want to let me forget it. I'm not like 
that anymore, 
man! People change man! Can't we all just....get along? 
Eddy: (sniff) great speach! Bravo! (clapcalpclap) 
Dave: I guess I'll just take all those copies of SMAK and dispose of them in 
the dumpster 
outside... 
Eddy: Wait a minute! I have a bottom line you know! You gotta pay for stuff 
when you 
buy it. 
Dave: Ok how much? 
Eddy: 4 billion dollars 
Dave: Arrrrg...ok just a minute. (dave gets out his wallet)>> 

Jamie- Where’d he get money? 
Austin- Whoring himself. 
David- Hey, I killed you! 
Jamie- He doesn’t have a real brain, remember? 

<<(voices from upstairs) 
RIIIIIIIIIICOOOOOOOLLLAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!>> 

David- What is Ricola? Is that like a cough drop? Like N’Ice? 

<<Sonic, shut up! 
Eddy: Customers! We gotta go up there Ralph. You too, theiving scum. >> 

Jamie- Why do you need them? 

<<BWhahahahhahah 
WOOOHOOOO!!!!>> 

David- What the hell was that? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Mad Eddy's>> 

Jamie- Weren’t we just there? 

<<Sonic is running around the store, jumping off the walls, ceiling, and then 
hanging from 
a 
ceiling fan before diving in a clothes rack. The blue dude with a tude (in 
other words, 
Sonic)>> 

Scott- I would have never guessed. 

<<rolled along the ground an ran... 
RIGHT INTO... 
Robotnik's foot! 
"Buttnik?" said Sonic 
"HEDGEHOOOOOG!?!??!?!" said Robotnik 
Sonic runs away screaming "AHHH!! Sally! Robotnik's here!">> 

David- Then he realizes- “Hey, I can just slice a hole into him!”. Sonic does, 
buys some 
stuff, leaves, End of story. Can we leave now? 

<<"Soooo...." says Robotnik 
"SOOOO what?!" says Snivley "C'mon...tell me...Telll meeeee....I wanna 
KNOOOOOOOOWWWWWW">> 

David- I can just imagine him jumping around, clutching himself yelling that 
out. 

<<"I WASN'T FINISHED TALKING YET!" said one angry Robotnik>> 

Jamie- So there’s MORE than one? 

<<"Oh" says Snivley. 
"Soooo" says Robotnik "The hedgehog and his friends are here. Revenge shall be 
ours 
tonight 
Snivley! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" 
Robotnik runs towards the door. He swings it opens, turns around, with his cape 
blowing 
in the 
wind, he raises his hand to the sky, lighning flashes, and Robotnik says "To 
the parking lot 
Snivley!" 
"Righto mate" says Snivley.>> 

David- That oughta get th’ little nipper! G’day! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Still Mad Eddy's 

Sonic runs into Sally. He jumps up and down screaming "SAAAL! IT's RObotnik! 
He's 
baaaack and 
he's EEEEEEVVIIILLL we gotta stop him he's gonna KILL US AHHHHHHHHH!!!">> 

David(Sonic)- He’s EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvvil! Robotnik is bad, but RObotnik 
is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvvill!! 

<<Sally says "Get off me Sonic!" 
Eddy: What's wrong with that blue pincushion of yours? 
Sally says "He gets kind of hyper when he drinks mountain due">> 

Jamie- Can’t he find a set format? 
Scott- DEW DAMMIT! DEW!!! 

<<Sally says "Robotnik is NOT HERE! He is DEAD!" 
Sonic says "But Sallleeeeeee when you say he's dead he's not dead and we fight 
him and 
fight 
him and fight him" 
"SONIC!" sally says "For the last time.. ROBOTNIK........... IS........ 
NOT....................................................................... 
.................... 
............................... HERE!" 
*whiiirrr* 
****KKKKKRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH 
HHHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!***>> 

Austin- AHBLABLHBALBALAHBALHBABLAHABLHBLA!!! 

<<The biggest laser blast anyone has ever seen totally destorys the front of 
Mad Eddy's! 
Eddy: HOLY FOCK!>> 

Austin- That would be in the Church, with- 
David gives Austin a well deserved punch in the nose 

<<A huge shadow is cast. Everyone looks in horror as they see a giant metallic 
Robotnik 
head 
hovering around. 
Robotnik: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! You're in for it this time FreeDUMB 
fighters!>> 

Austin- I want some free Dumb Fighters! 

<<HA HA! Meet the 
ultimate in war technology, THE INVINCIBLE DESTORYER! 
Sonic says "Yo, I don't think SO! A few spin dashes will take care of that 
faster that you 
can 
say "Jam jam penut butter and jam juice time speeddeeder!">> 

David-Jam jam penut butter and jam juice time speeddeeder 

<<Sonic revs up his spin dash!>> 

David- He lied! He’s barely going to a Spin Dash! 

<<Sally says "Sonic, be careful!">> 

Scott- To which Sonic replies “no!” 

<<Sonic replies "Yo Sal, when was the last time I was careful?" 
"Never, I guess" says Sally 
"Yo Sal, I love you with all my true blue hedgehog heart, and if I don't make 
it, i just want 
you to know, that I LOVE YOU FORVER SAL! I always liked you better than Amy 
Rose! Goodbye 
Sally, see you whenever the next time shall be and**" 
**KRAAAAABLAAAMM!!!** 
SOnic just got nuked by a hyper-laser!>> 

David- ABOUT TIME! Enough with SOnic! Sonic dies next, End of story, can we 
leave 
now? 

<<Robotnik: HAHAHAHAHA! You suck, Sonic!   
Sonic gets up and shakes it off.>> 

Scott- But he got nuked! Great, first he gets PAPERCUT from razor sharp 
gargoyle 
wings, and NOW he shakes off a Nuke! Sonic Fan, you’re making him to powerfull! 

<<"Robotnik.." says Sonic through clenched teeth "That's the last straw! Now 
you DIE!!! 
NO 
MERCYYYYYY!!!!! YAAAUUUGHHH!!!!!" 
Sonic revs up for a spin dash, grabs a power ring and absorbs it's energy 
***WWWHIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*** 
"I feel the need for speed, keed!" shouts Sonic. 
Samuel Keed says "Who the bloody 'ell are you?">> 

David- Who the bloody ‘ell is Samuel Keed? 

<<Robotnik fires a sidewinder missle at sonic. 
*KABOOM* 
Sonic is launched! He goes flying out into the parking lot, where he lands head 
first on the 
concrete!>> 

David- And dies! End of story, can we- 
Jamie- Will you stop saying that? 

<<<KLONK> 
Sonic: OOof...ARrRRrrgGG....HEeLLpp MEEEeeeee...... 
Tails flys at the machine! 
Tails: Yo Buttnickski! Nobody kills my best friend and gets away with it!>> 

Scott- He didn’t kill him! He just got a little bump, that’s all. Sheesh! 

<<Tails does a flying fire-tail spin!>> 

Jamie- How would he do that? 

<<Robotnik blasts him down with an ice cannon! 
Frozen Tails falls to the ground and shatters! 
Bunnie: OH MAH FREAKIN STARS! Somebody get the little hoss some medical 
attent'nun! Hurry up 
now, ya hear?>> 

Jamie- He froze and shattered! There’s no way to save him! 

<<Bookshire: I'll save him!>> 

David- NO! Get that freak out of here! And take us with him! 

<<Bookshire rushes in to the rescue! He gets SMASHED by a flying metal fist! 
Rotor: Yo! 
The machine lands on top of rotor. 
Dulcy runs into the side of the machine *SMACK* 
Robotnik proceeds to blast Dulcy with a flamethrower blast blast 
Sally, Bunnie and Dr. Quack jump at the machine! 
Sally: The House of Acorn fights with the power of Mobius! 
Bunnie: You heck all is gonna get beat on by MUH!>> 

David- Muh is the new villain. He kills Mammoth Mogul, Dr. Robotnik, Naugus and 
Enerjak all at once! 
Austin- Enerjak...that’s funny.. 

<<Dr Quack: DIEEEE QUUUUUUACCCCCKKKKKKK QUUUUUUUAAAAACKKK 
WWUUUUAACCCKKK QUUACCCKKKK!!! 
Robotnik shoots them down with anti-aircraft missles.>> 

David- Good missiles gone to waste... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

The Cockpit of the INVINCIBLE DESTORYER>> 

Jamie- What does this thing Destoyr? 
Scott- Godzilla vs. Destoroyah! 
David-Destroyer 
Scott- Destoroyah is the Japanese name! 
David- Who cares? 

<<Robotnik: I am unbeatable! Nothing can defeat this machine! 
Snivley: That's why it's called the INVINCIBLE destroyer 
Robotnik: Yes! YES INDEED!>> 

David(Robotnik)- Wow, you actually some something smart! Good for you! 

<<Robotnik&Snivley: Hhahahahahahahhaha! HAhahahaha ho HO HO HO HO HO!!!! 
Robotnik pulls a lever and blows up Antoinne with a SCUD missle 
Antoinne: Zacre BlEuh SHHHEEEEEEZZZZZZZZEEEE!!!!>> 

Scott- Sheeze? CHEEZE DAMN YOU CHEEZE! IT’S DEW NOT DUE, DEEEW!!! 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Parking Lot 

Complete anarchy ensues as the battle continues. 
David gonterman jumps out armed with a SUPER-SHOTGUN! 
Robntik shoots him down anyways. 
Robotnik: Take that son! 
Eddy: Yo! You! The lard man! You can't just wreck my store like that! 
Robotnik blows up the rest of the store with a Psyko-Plasmic MEGABOMB!>> 

Jamie- Psyko-Plasmic? Shouldn’t it be Psycho? 
Scott- And what does Psycho-Plasmic mean? 

<<He blows up Mad Eddy and Ralph by launching hyperexplosive grenades at them. 
Then 
Robotnik 
fires laser blasts all over the place, taking out the remaining freedom 
fighters. 
THE INVINCIBLE DESTORYER hovers over the remains of the freedom fighters. 
Robotnik: HA HA HA hAAAA HAAAAA! I woN! HAHAHHHAA! I AM RULER OF 
MOBIUS! NO ONE SHALL QUESTION 
MY RULE NOW!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Well I guess that's the end of 
the fanfic and I WON! >> 

David- Yay! We can leave now! 

<<MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!! ...huh??! 
Sonic slowly pulls himself to his feet.>> 

David- This is going to be a while, isn’t it? 
Jamie- yes it is. 

<<Sonic: Come on botnik..LET'S RUMBLE 
Robotnik: Ok. HA HA HA!! MEASLY RODENT!>> 

Scott- Hedgehogs aren’t Rodents. Hedgehogs belong to the family Erinaceus, 
while 
Rodents belong to order order- 
David-Shutup! 

<< EAT THIS!! 
Robotnik fires a nuclear warhead at Sonic!>> 

David- Hmm...needs salt. 

<<Sonic ducks, and the warhead blows up a garbage can behind him! 
***FOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM**** 
An aluminum can flys out and hits sonic in the head 
<KLANG> 
Sonic falls down, unconscious!>> 

Scott- WHAT?! A Gargoyle’s razor metal wings only PAPER CUT him, a nuke is 
quickly 
SHAKEN OFF, but an aluminum can KNOCKS HIM OUT?! 

<<Robonik charges up the laser cannons. 
Robotnik: And now...THE FINAL CHAPTER....in the life....of....SONIC! 
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! 
WOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE!!! 
HARHAHRAHRAHRA!!!!>> 

Austin- AHBLABLHBALHBALAHBALAHBALAHBLAAH!! 
David- How do you do that? 
Austin- Try babbling, except without moving your finger in front of your 
outstretched lips. 
Scott- Hey, he said a word longer than test- 
David- Quiet, remember? 
Scott- Oh yeah... 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

In the sky 

The Trailer-Mart air delivery helicopter is flying through the air. It is 
carrying Uncle Bob's 
new trailer to it's destination. The helicopter's winch is hooked on to the 
front bumper of 
the trailer. 
*KACHEW* 
Suddenly, and without ANY WARNING AT ALL, the winch cable is severed by a stray 
laser blast 
from below! The trailer falls like a rock! 
(inside the trailer) 
Uncle Bob says "huh?">> 

Jamie- Wouldn’t it be safer to just attach it to your car and drive it all the 
way? 
Scott- Not to mention a better show of common sense 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* 

Parking Lot 

THE INVINCIBLE DESTROYER is hovering around in victory circles. 
Robotnik: HAHHAHAHAH! We beat them We beat them! 
Snivley: We are the greatest! 
Robotnik pours some champagne. 
Robotnik: A toast! To an enslaved Mobius! 
Snivley: To an ennn..YAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! 
Robotnik: Snivley, it's pronounced like this...EN-SAL-VAVED>> 

Scott- No, it’s pronounced EN-SLAVED 

<<Snivley points upwards. Robotnik looks up and sees a trailer falling down 
towards 
them. 
Robotnik: Aw jeez man! 
The trailer crushes the invincible destoryer!>> 

David- But it’s invincible! 
Jamie- Anything that can’t be properly spelled without a 3rd grade education 
CAN’T be 
invincible. 

<<**KKKRRRUUUNNNNNNNCCCCHHHHHHHHH** 
The propane tanks on the trailer explode! 
**KKKKKKKFOSAAAJFHCFJSKLLSAUERIWIOQ*#@(((@OOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!>> 

David- AHBLAHBLAHBLAHBALHBALHBALALHABLHA!! 
Austin gives Davi an evil stare 

<<!!!!!!!!!!***** 
Uncle Bob climbs out of the burning wreckage. He sees his trailer totally 
destroyed and 
can 
only think of one thing to say.... 
"FOCK YE!" 
Sonic gets up and says "Uncle Bob! You saved the day!" 
Tails says "Hooray for my Uncle! Uncle Bob prower!">> 

Austin- But Tails died! 

<<The crowd says "YAAAAAAY!!!" 
Sally "Hooray! You are the hero of the day Bob!" 
Bunnie: Y'all your just the greatest trailer-fox in the history of trailer 
foxes dare ah say 
it! MAH stars you is amazin' Uncle Bob!>> 

Jamie- She’s a Southerner, not a redneck! 

<<Dr Quack: QQUUUUACCCKKK BOB YAY QUUACCKKK!!! 
Eddy: BWAA WOO WOO WOO WOO WOOOOOHAAAA!!!! 
David Kintobor: Yes! Yahoo! 
Edward Berrecca: Allright DuuUUUuoooUUUDDDEEE!!!>> 

David- ENOUGH WITH THE OBSCURE FANFIC CHARACTERS!! 

<<Everyone: HOORAY! 
Sonic: LEt's all say hooray! 
The phone rings 
Sonic picks it up "Hello?" 
FX Ferret says "Hooray!" 
Sonic: Yo, FX! 
FX: Yo Sonic, I'm coming back to mobius to celebrate the victory over Robotnik! 
Crowd: YAAAAY!!! 
Vision shows up and breaks out the PEZ.>> 

David- Who’s Vision? And why is he giving out disgusting candy? 

<<That night at Knothole villiage, the biggest celebration in the history of 
mobius takes 
place. 
Singing, dancing, PEZ, lots of chili dogs, and a great time is had by all.>> 

Scott- This is a rip off of the ending to Return of the Jedi! 

<<Sonic says "THis sure is past cool! RIght, uncle bob?" 
Bob says "ME TRAILER! ME BRAND NEW TRAILER! Nooooooooo!" 
Everyone laughs. 

*^*^*^*^*^*^* 
THE END>> 

David... 
Jamie-Well? 

<<*^*^*^*^*^*^*>> 

Austin- They toke me Lucky Charms and raped me! I be so embarressed! 

<<- soniciscool@yahoo.com ->> 

David- End of story. Can we leave now? 
Jamie- Yes. 

Jamie- So, what did we learn from this? 
David- I learned that when you think a SonicFan story can’t get worse, it 
usually does. 
Scott- I learned that Austin really DOESN’T have a brain. 
Austin- I learned that..uh... I didn’t learn anything... 
Scott- AH! The projector’s on fire!!! 

Jose Solano 
---------------- 
"Bizarre? Yes. Weird? Yes. Pointless? Sometimes" 
          -Mach Hedgehog 

Coming Soon: Jose's White Trash Can 
 Home of the Pikachu Death Gallery!