Newsgroups: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog
From: missjedi20@aol.com (Missjedi20)
Date: 1999/06/11
Subject: Re: AFSH: FANFIC: Special Spellchecked Edition of "Uncle Bob Returns!"

>Hi there. I thought that since this story was so incomprehensible that it 
>might make a little more sense if I spell & grammer checked it. 

who spell checked this thing? Forrest Gump? 

>So here 
>it is... 
>Uncle Bob Returns! 
>THE SPECIAL EDITION 

(with no emotion or inthusiasm)yay 

>Uncle Bob Returns! 
>By: SONIC FAN 

MISTED BY KRYSTAL THE QUEEN OF SPAM! 


>A cool short-story 
>Hello its knothole and today is Tuesday lets see what the freedom 
>Fighters are doing, hmmm. 

do we have to? 

>SONIC HUT 

>"YYAYYAHAHAHYAYAYY!" went sonic as he played guitar and jammed and 
>Jumped around spinning off walls and running on the roof. 

after he drank a gallon of black cofee with extra sugar. 

>Tails walks in:"you sonic dude" 

Tails: ive just taken up talking like a surfer cool huh? 

>SONIC says "AHEY! What up low-Bo?" 

huh? 

>Tails said"oh nothing ehwat u doing?" 
>"JAMMIN!" said Sonic 
>"Oh COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!" said Tails 
>Tails plays the drums its a 
>rocking good! 
>JUST THEN ROTOR JUMPIN JACK FLASHES THRU THE HUT! 

Sonic: hey you big fat oaf, you just knocked down my wall. 

>Who who" say sonic "you wrote" 
>Rotor stops. Runs back "HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY SONIC!" he yells in Sonics 
>Ear 
>"You hi" said sonic 
>"Whatever happened to uncle bob?" said Rotor 

Sonic: he was lucky enough to escape this fan fic. 

>"He left" said Tails "In sonic fights robotic 3" 
>"I hate ken panders," said sonic 

Tails: Ken panders? 
Sonic: some guy that owes me money. 

>The cameraman says "hurry up and finish this scene" 
>"YO-K man!" said sonic 
>"Let's find uncle booboo," says tails! 
>"Uncle boob?" says sonic 
>"Booboo?" rotor said 
>"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?" 
>"Typo" says Tails 

how come he only noticed that one? 

>"OH!" say sonic and rotor 
>All three jump though a wall 

and realize they tried jumping through a wall and all end up on the ground 
bleeding and unconsious the end. 

>OUTSIDE 
>-__-__--_--_--_-_--_----__-__--_ 

>:) 

>OUTSIDE 
>-__-__--_--_--_-_--_----__-__--_ 

>:) 

>AHHHHH! Goes sonic 

Sonic: when will the torture ever end??!! 

> they run into sally 
>"AK!" sass sally! 

Sonic: that'll teach you to steal the spot light bitch!(rams in to sally again) 

>"OOP!" says rotor 
>"Yyayayyayaya" say tails 

Tails: yaya! get her sonic! 

>"We go find uncle bob!" 

Tails: im going for cave man talk now 

>"No you Bo" says Sally 

whos bo? bo peep? 

>"Your not going, uncle bobs not going here" 
>"Wad" says tails 

Sally: wad? 
Tails: i have a wad of cash and i can  pay for my own transpertation to find 
him bitch! 
Sonic: its pronounced "wod" tails. 

>"No and the answer is no!" says sally 
>"Wad sniff wad" says tails 

Tails: (sniffing his wad of cash) i love the smell of money. 

>"Well alight" says Sally "Just be careful!" 
>"YO WE WILL SALLL" yells sonic 
>Sonic yells into a megaphone "I LOVE U SAL LETS HAVE CYBERSEX!" 

Sonic: your too ugly to have real sex with and its either you or bunny, and 
bunny is part robot. 

>"I hope I was being discreet," said sonic 
>(JOKE!) 

(looks around confused) oohhh i get it haha. 

>"Al is cybersexy," says Rotor "oops I said that didn't I?" 

Sonic: finaly you come out of the closet, its tottaly obvious your gay you 
know. 

>"YES!" says al "Go away before I have to kill you all" 

Al kills them all the end 

>"Okay" says Tails 
>"YAAAHHHH BUH-WEET!" says Sonic 
>ZOOM ZOOM BAM BOOM! Ran sonic 

Sonic: i love making cool sound effects when i run. 

>A MILLION MILES AWAY 
>5 minutes later 

Sonic: man this planets bigger than i thought.   

 >"Sonic stops," said sonic, stopping. 

Sonic: why am i talking to myself? 

>"Sonic stopped," says tails 
>"Stopped sonic" said rotor 
>"Hmm funny how a typo turns into humorous dialogue" says sonic 

Sonic: witch should make the whole story absolutly hallarious 

>I am typing fast," said SONIC FAN 

Sonic: it shows. 

>Just then boots attack. Lots of boots!' 

and they were followed by their army of tennis shoes, and led by killer socks! 
aaaahhhh!! 

>"Aha" sad tails "foci!" 
>"No foci!" say sonic 

Sonic: me no like foci, umm what ever that is. 

>"Oh sheet" says rotor 

Rotor: ive been around antouin too much, im developing a french accent. 

>"ROOTOR!" 

Tails: im rooting for sonic, go sonic! 

> say son in tails 

son of tials? whhhaaaat? 

>A fight ensues. 
>Sonic spins boots THEY DIE! 
>Rotor kicks boots THEY DIE 

Rotor: (picking up the dead boots and trying them on) hey theese look cute what 
do you guys think? 
Sonic: you are so gay. 

>"We spa spa!" tails says, fighting boots as they die 
>END RESULT 
>Bot casualties: 10000 sonic 

what bots? 

>capsules: 0 
>"Cool" say sonic 
>"FOCKIN' A!" says Tails 

Tails: were only half way through this damn story! 

>They walk into secret baste 

that just happend to be right there. 

>SECRET BASE 

>"Hello anybody home?" sad Sonic 

why is sonic sad? 

>"I am scared," said tails 
>"BOOOOOOO WOOOOBOOOGIIIIEEE!" 

Rotor: lets all bogie to the disco beat? 
Sonic: my god you ARE gay. 

>says rotor, m scaring tales 
>"AHAHHAHAHHAHHHHH!" said tales "ROTOR SCARED ME!" 

Tails: he tried to make a move on me in the dark! 
Sonic: leave tails alone fag! 

>"Sharp" says Sonic 
>They go through the dark secret base; it is scary and dark. 

really? is it dark too? 

>Shadow bot attacks! Sonic fights it and wins! They move on 

sonic realises he fought his own shadow and gets embarrased so they move on. 

>CREAK CREAK CREK 
>"Whets ha?" says Sonic 

Tails: huh? 
Sonic: pig latin for how long is this damn fan fic. 

>"I hear steps," says Rotor 
>"Hold on," says the cameraman "I will turn on inferred" 
>Click 
>Buzz 

Sonic: why are you following us? 
cameraman: i enjoy talking pictures of furry creatures. 
Sonic: ok lets just leave the conversation at that. 

>"Hey look its uncle bob!" says Tails 

Tails: hes trying to ditch us in this fan fic! lets get him! 

>"Good Morning' to yea!" says Bob 
>"YO BOB! say sonic 
>"Oh, yea larded! 

Sonic: huh? 
Bob:i feel like a tub of lard i need to lose wieght. 

> Wasp with yea?" says Bo 

Rotor: wheres a wasp?! (runs around batting air screaming like a girl) 
Sonic: you are so gay. 

>"Want to live at knothole?" says tails 
>"Ok, my trailer blew up," said bob 

Bob: i tried to commit suicide but was too fat to be afected by the bomb. id 
rather die than be in another sonic fan story. 

>"How did you know his trailer blew up?" says Sonic 
>"I phoned him a few days AO," said tails 
>JUST THEN ROBOTNIK STEPS ONTO THE SCNEE!' 

Bob: hey get off my scnee! 

>"Ha ha" says robotic 
>"Lard o' chuan'!" say bob 

wow this is quite the cultural story, now bobs trying to speak chineese. 

>Heli-bots shoot through the ceiling sonic try to get away but cant! 

Sonic: i can't escape sonic fan! aaaHHH! 

>Robotic captures the ff 

yaaaaayyyy!! 

>The are shoved into a hovering that transports them to robotics TV 
>Station in the dessert! 

Robotinic: thats right ive taken up show buisness!! 
Sonic: nooooooo!! 

>DESRT 

>Boa boa boa...BWA.... Hshstshshshthtssth 

said sonic fan after he took his medication. 

>ON TV... 

>This is script format! 

>(Music plays) 
>ANNOUNCER: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO it's THE 
>ROBOTNIK SHOW! 
>(More music) 
>ANOUNCER: WITH DR. ROBOTNIK! 
>(Wink tunes) 
>ANOUNCER: WITH GUESTS SALMA HYEK and KEN PENDERS 

and sonic fan! 
audiance: BOOOOO!! 

>ANOUNCER: MUSICAL GUEST KNUCKLES AND HIS REGGAE BAND! 
>(Music) 
>ANNOUNCER: AND SNIVLEY AND THE SWAT BOT ORCHASTRA 
>ANNOUNCER: NOW Here's THE SULTAN OF 
>Here's THE SULTAN OF SALTY SNAK 

no wonder hes so fat. 

>FOODS...DOCOTR 
>ROBOTNIK! 
>(Robotic bounds in) 
>ROBOTNIK: hi! 
>ROBOTOCIZED 
>EWROKERS IN AUDIESNCE: YAAAHHHHHH CLAP CLAPS! Y 
>YAHAAYHAYHAHYh! 
>WooOOoOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO! 
>Robotic: Now here's snidely and swat boots! 

me: whos snidely? 
Snidly: im snivelys twin brother 

>(Snidely, wearing sunglasses, plays the sax, the swat boots play other 
>Instruments. They play the peewee Herman song) 
>Robotic: (sitting in desk) do doodad! Do do do do do do DOO 
>DOO! First thing we do tonight is unthaw Dr. Quack 
>(Grounder and scratch brings out frozen Dr quack 
>Grounder: Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh 
>SCRATCH: HHEHEHEHHEhehHEHHEHHEH! 

sratch and grounder take off their costumes revealing that they are beavis and 
butthead in desguise. 
Beavis: man this sucks, ever sice our show was cancelled this is the best job 
we could get. 

>(They put dr. quack in big microwave) 
>ROBOTNIK: Play that funky microwave music snip man! 
>(Band plays microwave song) 
>DING 

and then they all sing the hotdog song. 

>(Dr quack is unthawed he steps out) 
>QUACK: hey hey you, what? 
>Robotic: you not dead! 

Robotnic: damn i wa looking forward to a duck dinner tonight. 

>QUAK: Quake quake cool! 
>(But Dr quack is somehow different) 
>(Man walks on stage) 
>KEN: hell I am ken panders 

Ken: i owe sonic money, don't let him catch me here. 

>ROBOTNIK: foci off 
>KEN: ok 
>(Robotic kicks ken off stage nit the audience) 

and then Ken nits several sweaters for the audiance as well. 
Ken: nitting is much more fun than writing comic books! 

>AUDIENCE: HAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA! 
>ROBONTIK: Now lets brogan out the HEDGEHOG AND FRIENDS! (Robotic throws 
>Cuecard out the fake window) 
>*KRASH* 
>Sonic and freeness are 

whos freeness? 

>hustled on stage by swat boots 

and tennis shoes. 

>HAHHAhahahha who shall we roobotocize first 
>BOB: FOCK YE ROBOTNIK! Y'ER A BIG EEJIT! 
>Robotic: hmm perhaps the Scotsman 
>SNIVLEY: yak I need bagpipes 
>ROBOTNIK: ok get in the robocizer 
>(Booboo gets in) 

along with yogi bear. 

>JUST THEN SONIC IS SPINNIN AROUND HES KILLIN BOTS LIKE THERES NO 
>TOMMOROW! 

this story continues into tomorow? aaahhhh!!! 

>Sonic slam-dunks a bot ha in the garbage can 
>SONIC: 50000000000000000000 points! 

Sonic: now lets play head soccer! 

>SONIC FREES TAILS 
>TAILS NINJA FIGHTS! 
>TAILS KIKCS DOWN THE ROBOTOCIZER UNCLE BOB IS FREE! 
>KABOOOKMMKRAKAKAKKAKAKAKKAK POW! 
>Goes bobs shotgun! 
>BOB: I forking make short work of yea boots! 

Bob: thats right ill stick you to death with my fork! 

>ROBOTNIK: ha ha I locked the doors you cannot get out of here 
>QUACK: No, I jut UNLOCKED THE DOOR HA! 
>ROBOTNIK: No! You Bettye me! 
>QUACK: May I join u sonic 
>SONIC: yak dude 

wheres a yak?! 

>THEY FUGHTS KILLIN A MILLION BOTS THE WHOLE PLACE IS EXPLODING 

yaaayy!! its exploding!! the end 

>THE GOOD 
>GUYS RUN DOWN THE BASMENT ROBOTOCIZED WORKER BOTS ARE FLYIN THU THE AIR 

using fairy dust from peter pan. 

>LOOK OUT TAILS! Tails gets in just in time they slam the door on a 
>Flying bot! Fwonk! 
>TAILS: Homebody down here 
>BOB: yeah, aye is 
>TAILS: no that guy 
>(They see Rabbit Rabbet) 

who? 

>RABBIT: Good afternoon to yea 
>SONIC: ITS bunnies LONG LOST DAD 

so? 

>RABBIT: I WAS IN JAIL, 

for selling acid to sonic fan 

>here, MM.-hmmm 
>SONIC: we saved you let us juicing jam! 

Sonic: really im thirsty. 

>SONIC Pulls out a pour ring 

and pours himself a glass of power aid. 

>RABBIT: Some folks call it a power ring, I call it a potter, 

Sonic: why? 
Rabbit: did you know you can smoke it like pot? 

>MM.-hmm 
>They rush the door! Bot is killing ACTION! Zoom fawns kqaboom! 
>Uncle Bob riverdances on stage with some boots 
>ROBOTNIK: NO ANY A! 
>They run out of the building and dive not the sand 
>JUST THEN THE 
>BUILDING EXPLODES 
>FWAP BAP BOO-BAP SHADDA LADDIA SHIBBI BIBBI HOOOOOOOOO-AAAAHHHHH! 
>RABBIT: hot dam 
>They run back to knothole 
>ROBOTNIK: No any Noose! They beat me again! WAAAAHHH! THIS SUCKS! 

robotnic: the strories not over yet! 

>(Knuckles show up) 
>KNUCKLES: Hey Mon is it times for our act 
>ROBOTNIK: all the cameras are dead, except for that one 
>"Hey" says our cinematographer 
>Knuckles and the chaotic band set up 
>(Band plays music) 
>KNUCKLES: ooh yeah, we're jamming' 
>Robotic dances 

Robotnik: im getting down with my bad self. 

. 

>BACK AT KNOTHOLE 
>_-_-__--__-___-_-__-__-----__-_--___-- 

>SONIC RUNS RIGHT INTO DULCY 
>Dully " bud don't wan do HOMEWORK?" 
>The others run into Antoine 
>"Le of" says Antoine 
>Sally shows up 
>"AAHHHH WHATS DR QUACK DOING HERE?" Secured sally 

Sonic: id like to know the same thing(looks at sonic fan) 

>"Hess a good guy now" said Sonic 
>"Quack yes," said Dr. Quack 
>"Ok Dr Quack and Uncle Bob you have to pass the interview before you can 
>Become freedom fighters.  I will ask you the secret questions. Anything 
>That happens inside that hut 
>does not leave the confines of that hut, 
>Ok?" 
>"Aye" said bob 
>"QUAK-OK!" said Dr. Quack 
>They go to sallies hut 
>"DADY!" says Bunny 
>"Hello yea daughter of mine" sighs Rabbit Rabbet 
>(Emotional scene) 
>The cameraman gets bored and falls asleep 

along with Krystal whos getting tired of misting this, witch is why she didn't 
make any crude remarks throught most of the last scene. 

>"HEY WAKE UP!" says sonic 

Sonic: your supposed to be misting this crappy story! 
Krystal: sorry its 1 am! 

>"Ha" says cameraman" oh" 
>Bow-bow-chick-womp-bow-wukka-chiak-chjika 

Sonic: what are you doing? 

>Tails" I am getting funk to this disco beat 
>Sally walks out of the hut followed by ounce. Bob. In addition, quake. 
>Sally:" ha... they are freedom fighters now!" 

nooooo!!! 

>"Yaaaaay!" say knothole inhabitants! 
>PARTY TIME 
>"Time to test my new invention": says rotor 
>Rotor test the catapult SONIC TAILS ROTOR UNCLE 
>BOB AND DR QUACK ARE 
>THROW A BILLION FEET INT THE AIR 

and die in the atmosphere of space 

>SONICS HUT 

>JUST THEN SONIC, TAILS, DR QUACK, ROTOR, AND UNCLES BOB falls THROUGH 
>THE ROOF OF THE HUT 

Sonic: damn it rotor thats the second time you trashed my hut! you owe me big! 

>"Wobble!" said Sonic 

Sonic: im learning the marshen language now. 

>MOREOVER, THATS TEH JUICY JAMMIN EWND OF OUR TALE. 

Krystal: awww, already? there will be a sequal right? 
Sonic: WHAT! are you crazy??! 
Krystal: oh sorry im delirious, like i said its 1 am. 

>YO ARCHIE FEEL FRE TO 
>MAKE 
>THIS INTO A COMIC BOOK, JUST EMAIL ME AT soniciscool@yahoo.com YOU CAN 
>HAVE THE STORY FREE IF U WANT. 

your too kind 


>"Finn" said Antoine 
>"AH zed FININ! YOU LEAVE NOW! LEEEEVEEEVEEEEE! ZEEE 
>HOOGOGGOOGOOOGOIOR 

what if i don't want to leave? oh god i AM delirious. 

Sonic: why do you always write to the sonic news group so late? 
Krysta: (falls asleep) 
Sonic: oh well